(no subject)
I’ve been thinking about here a lot lately. Scarlete died on October 11th. She was one of my very first LJ friends, way back in the beginning of 2001. We’d stayed friends this whole time. Pretty close friends, even. And I didn’t find out for days, and while I have suspicions about what happened, no one anywhere has said definitely. And it really really hurts. She’s not the kind of person I thought would just be gone one day. I mean, we’d made it over two decades, and managed to still message and text and send each other ridiculous memes or links of insanity to buy, because we had enough in common that we understood each other. She had just been telling me about a signed Gary Busey book a friend had just given her, and she was so happy about it. And now… now I have these things still popping up and I want to send them to her like usual, but I can’t. Or, I can’t it’s just that she’ll never see them and laugh with me. I’ll never get wildly inappropriate texts from her again. I won’t be able to joke about the harem and jar0d and the friendship we shared with him, and stabby_lyd, and the ridiculousness of it all (I really hope I’m remembering how to tag LJ names properly, it’s been so so long.)
We had Facebook, sure, but it could never be what this place was for us. We grew up here. And she had done what I also did, and I bet a great many other people did - she had gone and made most of her old entries private. All of those memories, like when she was having Lydia (now Jett, fyi), and Maya, and I don’t know, just EVERYTHING. And I want to go back and read it all again.
I have access to some things and I keep thinking I should send screencaps to her kids. Not the crazy stuff. The posts where she is just so in love with them, so proud. I probably will. I think everyone just needs a little time. Or maybe that’s just me.
Anyway. If you’re reading this, if we were friends here? I miss you. I love you. I hope you’re doing well, and I hope we speak again some day, before it’s too late to say goodbye.
(The amount of times it took me to tag profiles is so sad, considering it was second nature for so so long.)
We had Facebook, sure, but it could never be what this place was for us. We grew up here. And she had done what I also did, and I bet a great many other people did - she had gone and made most of her old entries private. All of those memories, like when she was having Lydia (now Jett, fyi), and Maya, and I don’t know, just EVERYTHING. And I want to go back and read it all again.
I have access to some things and I keep thinking I should send screencaps to her kids. Not the crazy stuff. The posts where she is just so in love with them, so proud. I probably will. I think everyone just needs a little time. Or maybe that’s just me.
Anyway. If you’re reading this, if we were friends here? I miss you. I love you. I hope you’re doing well, and I hope we speak again some day, before it’s too late to say goodbye.
(The amount of times it took me to tag profiles is so sad, considering it was second nature for so so long.)