(no subject)
Simple version:
I'm changing over anti-anxiety meds, and the last few days especially have been quite difficult. I thought it might go quite smoothly, as for a while it seemed to be - more fool me. I'm full of things I want to do, but they differ quite strongly from what I find myself able to do.
And as of today, the bathroom in my apartment is being renovated. I knew this was happening some time around now - the specifics, like many things builder-based, a little vague, but I found out yesterday that they would start this morning.
So I can't stay at home, and so now I have no sanctuary. No little place of retreat. Both a good thing and a bad thing, but the bad thing can be really quite bad. After all, the best thing about a sanctuary is knowing it's there, even if you don't need it at the moment. But I don't have a base I'm wandering out of. I'm left with living with my folks for the next few weeks.
And my father took three minutes to demonstrate, once again, some more, how he fundamentally doesn't understand what's going on, no matter how I've tried to explain it to him. He just can't seem to get past the 'just walk it off' mindset, and therefore the moment there's anything not going to way he expects it to, he becomes instantly combative and angry.
Some days I just want to cease existing for a bit. Not asleep (I can do that) or dead, just *blink* out of existence for a bit, come back when the emotional and mental coast is clear.
Ah, well. I hope this first group of new meds works out. It's hard enough doing these things without having to have a round or two of false starts along the way.
I'm changing over anti-anxiety meds, and the last few days especially have been quite difficult. I thought it might go quite smoothly, as for a while it seemed to be - more fool me. I'm full of things I want to do, but they differ quite strongly from what I find myself able to do.
And as of today, the bathroom in my apartment is being renovated. I knew this was happening some time around now - the specifics, like many things builder-based, a little vague, but I found out yesterday that they would start this morning.
So I can't stay at home, and so now I have no sanctuary. No little place of retreat. Both a good thing and a bad thing, but the bad thing can be really quite bad. After all, the best thing about a sanctuary is knowing it's there, even if you don't need it at the moment. But I don't have a base I'm wandering out of. I'm left with living with my folks for the next few weeks.
And my father took three minutes to demonstrate, once again, some more, how he fundamentally doesn't understand what's going on, no matter how I've tried to explain it to him. He just can't seem to get past the 'just walk it off' mindset, and therefore the moment there's anything not going to way he expects it to, he becomes instantly combative and angry.
Some days I just want to cease existing for a bit. Not asleep (I can do that) or dead, just *blink* out of existence for a bit, come back when the emotional and mental coast is clear.
Ah, well. I hope this first group of new meds works out. It's hard enough doing these things without having to have a round or two of false starts along the way.