December Challenge Entry #15
Title: Untitled (7/?)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: humor, slight crack, action
Character(s): Gackt, You, Chacha, the rest of YFCz, Hyde, Miyavi, Ju-ken, Jun-ji, Yasu (of Acid Black Cherry), and Breakerz (Daigo, Akihide, Shinpei)
Length: 1663 words
Warning(s): nothing more than language
Overall Summary: Mary Sue Fangirl has found a way to abduct her 15 favorite jrockers and make them do whatever she wants. So what does she do? She puts them in teams and makes them compete against each other in a variety of ridiculous challenges, voting members off each night until only one winner remains. The question is though, what exactly does the winner win???
Notes: There are special brownies in this part. You've been warned.
Part One: The Gathering
Part Two: Meet the Cast
Part Three: The Get to Know Your Teammates Obstacle Course
Part Four: American Football
Part Five: White Water Rafting
Part Six: Jungle Survival
From her tree house, Mary watched the progress of the three teams with pride. She was having so much fun, it should be illegal! She saw that Ju-ken, You, and Hyde had all decided that just maybe listening to Jun-ji was a good idea for once and were willingly letting him lead them. Gackt, Chacha, and U:zo had found Miyavi sitting against a tree asleep. Having slapped him upside the head to wake him up, the green team was now making double-time back in the way they had originally come from. They seemed to not realize that the path they were on was leading them in circles, nor did the red team realize that the ‘ninjas’ chasing them were really just the helpers in disguise. The helpers soon grew bored though and stopped chasing the drunken red team.
As Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei lie panting and out of breath on the ground, they contemplated losing just so they could stop trying. If you could call getting drunk off their asses and being chased by ninjas “trying.”
Suddenly, they heard something, like a fell voice on the wind. “Red team, reeeeeeed teeeeeeeeeeeeeeammmmmmmm...” it called.
Daigo sat up. “What is that?”
“I don’t know,” Shinpei replied, standing up, “but it’s calling to me...”
“Red team, follow meeeeeeeeeee...I can show you the way hooooooooooome...” the voice continued.
“It wants me to follow it...” Akihide started staggering out of the clearing, the rest of the red team following him.
Back at the house, Takumi had a hard time trying not to laugh. Mary’s helpers had set up speakers throughout the forest. Takumi had a control panel in front of him and with a push of a button, he could switch his voice between speakers, leading the red team across the jungle and away from the house.
In another part of the jungle, the blue team had found a hut and forced Jun-ji to let them see what was inside, hoping for food. Ju-ken rugby-tackled one of the walls and the hut popped open. Standing in front of them, was Yasu.
“Oh, for the love of God.” Jun-ji rolled his eyes and continued down the path they had been on, the rest of the team quickly joining him.
“You’re…going the wrong way!” Yasu called after them.
“Sure, whatever,” Jun-ji called back.
“But…but…” Yasu raced after them, “I was in a hut! I can help you! I know the way out!”
“Why would you help us?” You asked.
“Cause..I like you guys!” Yasu caught up with Ju-ken. Without warning, the bassist stuck out his arm and clothes-lined Yasu, leaving the singer lying gasping and half-unconscious in the middle of the jungle.
They walked on for a few more minutes before Jun-ji held out his arm and stopped them in their tracks. You started to ask what was wrong but was silenced.
Jun-ji looked off to the right attentively then looked to his team. “You boys hungry?” he asked with a wink. Within 20 minutes, the blue team was enjoying a meal of wild boar, expertly caught, killed, cleaned, and cooked over an open flame by Jun-ji.
The green team - meanwhile - was stopped on a trail. Shinya stood in front of them, arms crossed and blocking their path.
“Look, if you’d just get out of the way,” Gackt was saying, “we’ll go on by and pretend this never happened.”
“I don’t think so,” Shinya said with a glint in his eye.
Before Gackt could even react, the side of Shinya’s hand came down where neck meets shoulder and the singer slumped unconscious to the ground.
“Hey!” Miyavi started, but Shinya picked the guitarist up and threw him into U:zo. The two of them stumbled over one another and into a tree, falling to the ground next to Gackt.
Chacha pulled out his revolver, but the drummer/secret martial arts expert quickly disarmed him, twisting Chacha’s arm back behind him with a crack of his fingers. A well-placed foot to the back of Chacha’s knee had him on the ground and the butt of the gun to the back of his head rendered him out for the count.
Shinya looked at the four unconscious bodies in front of him as he emptied the ammo from the gun onto the ground and tossed it next to Chacha.
The red team had followed Takumi’s siren-call around the jungle for a couple hours, drinking more booze along the way. Eventually, they were all so drunk that they forgot about following the voice and Takumi gave up. After all the running from the ninjas and wandering around the jungle, the red team was starving and desperately hoping to find a hut filled with food. They were in luck when Akihide happened upon a hut stacked with trays of brownies. Little did they realize though that the brownies were…special brownies.
Satiated, but tweaking out of their minds, Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei literally stumbled onto the trail with the unconscious green team.
“Whoa dudes, what happened here?” Jon asked in a daze.
“I don’t know…” Daigo looked at the unconscious men sadly. Suddenly, “LET’S STEAL ALL THEIR CLOTHES!!!”
“YEAH!!!” Akihide and Shinpei high-fived.
Jon was wearing Gackt’s shirt on his head and was untying the singer’s shoes when the man began to revive. “I hate monkeys…” he said groggily. Seeing Jon holding his half-way removed shoe, he snapped out of it. “Hey!” he yelled. The red team stopped what they were doing and ran staggeringly out into the trees in four different directions, taking pieces of the green team’s clothing with them.
Gackt surveyed the damages. He was only missing his t-shirt but still had his jumpsuit. Miyavi was missing his shoes and U:zo had all his clothes, but they were both still unconscious under the tree. Chacha pushed himself up on his elbows and was horrified to find that he was wearing nothing but his boxers.
“What happened?!” he exclaimed.
“We were ambushed,” Gackt helped him to his feet. “Here, you drag Miyavi and I’ll get U:zo.”
Three hours later, the green team walked through the door of the cabin with sighs of relief. U:zo was so relieved to finally be back that he fell to his knees and kissed the carpet. “Home!” he exclaimed.
The four of them finally noticed that the entire blue team was sitting around the living room in smoking jackets, enjoying cigars and brandy.
“Hello, mates,” Jun-ji said, puffing his cigar. “Nice of you to join us.”
“When did you get back here?!” Gackt asked.
Ju-ken pulled a pocket watch from his robe. “Oh, about five hours ago,” he said with a cheeky grin.
Right then, Shinya came in from the kitchen carrying a tray of snacks. “Whooo wants pigs-in-a-blanket?!” he asked.
“YOU!” Chacha yelled, pulling out his revolver and searching his boxers for ammo.
Shinya threw the tray straight in the air and ran to his room, locking the door behind him. U:zo and Miyavi were quick to devour the fallen snacks while Gackt went into the kitchen to find some real food.
It was another three hours before the red team finally came through the door. Akihide was on Shinpei’s shoulders, and Daigo on Jon’s. All four of them were completely naked and covered with purple goo in strange patterns from berries they’d smashed on themselves like war paint. Daigo was singing in a strange made-up language while Akihide drummed on Shinpei’s head.
Not noticing the other two teams asleep in various positions around the room, Daigo yelled, “Hey! Did we win?!”
RED - 20
BLUE - 20
GREEN - 20
Daigo’s yelling had stirred the other two teams, who had been waiting for the red team’s return so that they could have the evening’s voting session. 45 minutes later, tons of water and real food had sobered up the red team enough to put on some clothes. It was almost 3am when the 12 men made their way into the dimly-lit rose ceremony room.
Mary stood at the podium and stifled a yawn behind her hand. “Since I’m sure you’d all like to get some sleep after your long days, let’s just get straight to the voting. You know the drill.”
Each man went into their designated door and voted. Afterwards, Mary was presented with the results envelope by a helper in his pajamas and took the three roses from the vase on the podium.
“Shinpei, I’m sorry but your team has voted,” she said as she handed the guitarist a rose. He looked confusedly at his bandmates and stumbled out of the room. Stepping to the blue team, she held out the next rose. “Ju-ken.” You and Jun-ji both stood to hug the bassist before he took his rose and left the room, receiving a lazy wave from Hyde on his way by. Finally, she presented the third rose to the bassist on the green team. “U:zo.”
“I knew it!” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. “Everyone hates me!” He burst into tears and ran flailing out the room, forgetting to take his rose with him.
“Anyone care to explain their decision?” Mary asked, returning to her podium and yawning again.
“Obvious choice,” Gackt said plainly. Chacha nodded.
“I don’t know,” Daigo said, “but I really felt like Jon and I bonded today.” The American put his arm around Daigo and nodded. “And he said he’d help me with my English if I didn’t vote for him,” Daigo added, ironically.
“It was a really tough decision for me,” You said, “but it came down to strategy. Jun-ji was extremely helpful today and based on your words last night, I’m concerned that it might be to our benefit to have a small member on our team.”
“So what,” Hyde asked, “you kept me around cause I’m short?!”
“Pretty much,” You shrugged.
Hyde stubbed out his cigarette on You’s leg, burning a hole through his jeans.
After that, everyone was too tired to do anything more than go straight to bed.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: humor, slight crack, action
Character(s): Gackt, You, Chacha, the rest of YFCz, Hyde, Miyavi, Ju-ken, Jun-ji, Yasu (of Acid Black Cherry), and Breakerz (Daigo, Akihide, Shinpei)
Length: 1663 words
Warning(s): nothing more than language
Overall Summary: Mary Sue Fangirl has found a way to abduct her 15 favorite jrockers and make them do whatever she wants. So what does she do? She puts them in teams and makes them compete against each other in a variety of ridiculous challenges, voting members off each night until only one winner remains. The question is though, what exactly does the winner win???
Notes: There are special brownies in this part. You've been warned.
Part One: The Gathering
Part Two: Meet the Cast
Part Three: The Get to Know Your Teammates Obstacle Course
Part Four: American Football
Part Five: White Water Rafting
Part Six: Jungle Survival
From her tree house, Mary watched the progress of the three teams with pride. She was having so much fun, it should be illegal! She saw that Ju-ken, You, and Hyde had all decided that just maybe listening to Jun-ji was a good idea for once and were willingly letting him lead them. Gackt, Chacha, and U:zo had found Miyavi sitting against a tree asleep. Having slapped him upside the head to wake him up, the green team was now making double-time back in the way they had originally come from. They seemed to not realize that the path they were on was leading them in circles, nor did the red team realize that the ‘ninjas’ chasing them were really just the helpers in disguise. The helpers soon grew bored though and stopped chasing the drunken red team.
As Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei lie panting and out of breath on the ground, they contemplated losing just so they could stop trying. If you could call getting drunk off their asses and being chased by ninjas “trying.”
Suddenly, they heard something, like a fell voice on the wind. “Red team, reeeeeeed teeeeeeeeeeeeeeammmmmmmm...” it called.
Daigo sat up. “What is that?”
“I don’t know,” Shinpei replied, standing up, “but it’s calling to me...”
“Red team, follow meeeeeeeeeee...I can show you the way hooooooooooome...” the voice continued.
“It wants me to follow it...” Akihide started staggering out of the clearing, the rest of the red team following him.
Back at the house, Takumi had a hard time trying not to laugh. Mary’s helpers had set up speakers throughout the forest. Takumi had a control panel in front of him and with a push of a button, he could switch his voice between speakers, leading the red team across the jungle and away from the house.
In another part of the jungle, the blue team had found a hut and forced Jun-ji to let them see what was inside, hoping for food. Ju-ken rugby-tackled one of the walls and the hut popped open. Standing in front of them, was Yasu.
“Oh, for the love of God.” Jun-ji rolled his eyes and continued down the path they had been on, the rest of the team quickly joining him.
“You’re…going the wrong way!” Yasu called after them.
“Sure, whatever,” Jun-ji called back.
“But…but…” Yasu raced after them, “I was in a hut! I can help you! I know the way out!”
“Why would you help us?” You asked.
“Cause..I like you guys!” Yasu caught up with Ju-ken. Without warning, the bassist stuck out his arm and clothes-lined Yasu, leaving the singer lying gasping and half-unconscious in the middle of the jungle.
They walked on for a few more minutes before Jun-ji held out his arm and stopped them in their tracks. You started to ask what was wrong but was silenced.
Jun-ji looked off to the right attentively then looked to his team. “You boys hungry?” he asked with a wink. Within 20 minutes, the blue team was enjoying a meal of wild boar, expertly caught, killed, cleaned, and cooked over an open flame by Jun-ji.
The green team - meanwhile - was stopped on a trail. Shinya stood in front of them, arms crossed and blocking their path.
“Look, if you’d just get out of the way,” Gackt was saying, “we’ll go on by and pretend this never happened.”
“I don’t think so,” Shinya said with a glint in his eye.
Before Gackt could even react, the side of Shinya’s hand came down where neck meets shoulder and the singer slumped unconscious to the ground.
“Hey!” Miyavi started, but Shinya picked the guitarist up and threw him into U:zo. The two of them stumbled over one another and into a tree, falling to the ground next to Gackt.
Chacha pulled out his revolver, but the drummer/secret martial arts expert quickly disarmed him, twisting Chacha’s arm back behind him with a crack of his fingers. A well-placed foot to the back of Chacha’s knee had him on the ground and the butt of the gun to the back of his head rendered him out for the count.
Shinya looked at the four unconscious bodies in front of him as he emptied the ammo from the gun onto the ground and tossed it next to Chacha.
The red team had followed Takumi’s siren-call around the jungle for a couple hours, drinking more booze along the way. Eventually, they were all so drunk that they forgot about following the voice and Takumi gave up. After all the running from the ninjas and wandering around the jungle, the red team was starving and desperately hoping to find a hut filled with food. They were in luck when Akihide happened upon a hut stacked with trays of brownies. Little did they realize though that the brownies were…special brownies.
Satiated, but tweaking out of their minds, Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei literally stumbled onto the trail with the unconscious green team.
“Whoa dudes, what happened here?” Jon asked in a daze.
“I don’t know…” Daigo looked at the unconscious men sadly. Suddenly, “LET’S STEAL ALL THEIR CLOTHES!!!”
“YEAH!!!” Akihide and Shinpei high-fived.
Jon was wearing Gackt’s shirt on his head and was untying the singer’s shoes when the man began to revive. “I hate monkeys…” he said groggily. Seeing Jon holding his half-way removed shoe, he snapped out of it. “Hey!” he yelled. The red team stopped what they were doing and ran staggeringly out into the trees in four different directions, taking pieces of the green team’s clothing with them.
Gackt surveyed the damages. He was only missing his t-shirt but still had his jumpsuit. Miyavi was missing his shoes and U:zo had all his clothes, but they were both still unconscious under the tree. Chacha pushed himself up on his elbows and was horrified to find that he was wearing nothing but his boxers.
“What happened?!” he exclaimed.
“We were ambushed,” Gackt helped him to his feet. “Here, you drag Miyavi and I’ll get U:zo.”
Three hours later, the green team walked through the door of the cabin with sighs of relief. U:zo was so relieved to finally be back that he fell to his knees and kissed the carpet. “Home!” he exclaimed.
The four of them finally noticed that the entire blue team was sitting around the living room in smoking jackets, enjoying cigars and brandy.
“Hello, mates,” Jun-ji said, puffing his cigar. “Nice of you to join us.”
“When did you get back here?!” Gackt asked.
Ju-ken pulled a pocket watch from his robe. “Oh, about five hours ago,” he said with a cheeky grin.
Right then, Shinya came in from the kitchen carrying a tray of snacks. “Whooo wants pigs-in-a-blanket?!” he asked.
“YOU!” Chacha yelled, pulling out his revolver and searching his boxers for ammo.
Shinya threw the tray straight in the air and ran to his room, locking the door behind him. U:zo and Miyavi were quick to devour the fallen snacks while Gackt went into the kitchen to find some real food.
It was another three hours before the red team finally came through the door. Akihide was on Shinpei’s shoulders, and Daigo on Jon’s. All four of them were completely naked and covered with purple goo in strange patterns from berries they’d smashed on themselves like war paint. Daigo was singing in a strange made-up language while Akihide drummed on Shinpei’s head.
Not noticing the other two teams asleep in various positions around the room, Daigo yelled, “Hey! Did we win?!”
RED - 20
BLUE - 20
GREEN - 20
Daigo’s yelling had stirred the other two teams, who had been waiting for the red team’s return so that they could have the evening’s voting session. 45 minutes later, tons of water and real food had sobered up the red team enough to put on some clothes. It was almost 3am when the 12 men made their way into the dimly-lit rose ceremony room.
Mary stood at the podium and stifled a yawn behind her hand. “Since I’m sure you’d all like to get some sleep after your long days, let’s just get straight to the voting. You know the drill.”
Each man went into their designated door and voted. Afterwards, Mary was presented with the results envelope by a helper in his pajamas and took the three roses from the vase on the podium.
“Shinpei, I’m sorry but your team has voted,” she said as she handed the guitarist a rose. He looked confusedly at his bandmates and stumbled out of the room. Stepping to the blue team, she held out the next rose. “Ju-ken.” You and Jun-ji both stood to hug the bassist before he took his rose and left the room, receiving a lazy wave from Hyde on his way by. Finally, she presented the third rose to the bassist on the green team. “U:zo.”
“I knew it!” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. “Everyone hates me!” He burst into tears and ran flailing out the room, forgetting to take his rose with him.
“Anyone care to explain their decision?” Mary asked, returning to her podium and yawning again.
“Obvious choice,” Gackt said plainly. Chacha nodded.
“I don’t know,” Daigo said, “but I really felt like Jon and I bonded today.” The American put his arm around Daigo and nodded. “And he said he’d help me with my English if I didn’t vote for him,” Daigo added, ironically.
“It was a really tough decision for me,” You said, “but it came down to strategy. Jun-ji was extremely helpful today and based on your words last night, I’m concerned that it might be to our benefit to have a small member on our team.”
“So what,” Hyde asked, “you kept me around cause I’m short?!”
“Pretty much,” You shrugged.
Hyde stubbed out his cigarette on You’s leg, burning a hole through his jeans.
After that, everyone was too tired to do anything more than go straight to bed.