December Challenge Entry #14
Title: Untitled (6/?)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: humor, slight crack, action
Character(s): Gackt, You, Chacha, the rest of YFCz, Hyde, Miyavi, Ju-ken, Jun-ji, Yasu (of Acid Black Cherry), and Breakerz (Daigo, Akihide, Shinpei)
Length: 2185 words
Warning(s): nothing more than language
Overall Summary: Mary Sue Fangirl has found a way to abduct her 15 favorite jrockers and make them do whatever she wants. So what does she do? She puts them in teams and makes them compete against each other in a variety of ridiculous challenges, voting members off each night until only one winner remains. The question is though, what exactly does the winner win???
Notes: This is my favorite challenge of the entire story, which is probably why it's also the longest.
Part One: The Gathering
Part Two: Meet the Cast
Part Three: The Get to Know Your Teammates Obstacle Course
Part Four: American Football
Part Five: White Water Rafting
Jun-ji cleared his throat. “The next challenge is a jungle adventure! Each team will be taken out into the middle of a jungle and left to find our ways back to the house. All survival, and that includes food, will be left up to us.”
Mary nodded. “Exactly. Dinner tonight will be up to your teams. Each member will have nothing but a machete and whatever you find in the jungle. Some paths will be marked and clues will be scattered throughout the trees. Also hidden throughout the jungle will be small huts with various surprises for anyone that finds them.”
“Luckily for the blue team,” Jun-ji said, adjusting his hat, “I happen to be an expert at jungle survival.”
“Since when?” You and Ju-ken asked at the same time.
Ignoring them, Jun-ji struck a pose. “We will most certainly win.”
“We’re going to lose,” Hyde muttered.
“Wait a minute,” Akihide spoke up, “there aren’t any jungles around here…”
“Wherever here is…” Shinpei added.
“Gentlemen, if you’ll follow me.” Mary purposely ignored the implied question and led the 12 men outside where four black Hummers were waiting. The men piled into the vehicles and were blindfolded by the helpers. They drove for quite some time before the Hummers stopped and the blindfolds were removed. As the jrockers stepped out of the vehicles, they found themselves standing in a very humid and tropical jungle.
“Well, I’ll be…” Akihide said.
Mary led them further into the jungle for about 15 minutes then stopped. Each of the men was handed a very sharp and dangerous-looking machete.
“Whoa there,” Gackt took Miyavi’s machete before he could even get his hand on it. “I don’t think so.” The guitarist pouted.
“I’ll be watching from my tree house via hidden cameras,” Mary explained as she climbed a nearby tree. “First full team to the house wins. Good luck!”
While the red and green teams just stood and stared at each other, Jun-ji bellowed “BLUE TEAM! MOVIN’ OUT!” and led his team off into the trees. The other two teams soon started off into opposite directions.
Gackt led the green team with a machete in each hand, hacking a path through the thick vines. “The way I figure,” he called over his shoulder to his teammates, “if we can just get back to where the Hummers dropped us off, there should be a road going straight back to the house.”
“Brilliant!” Chacha exclaimed. “That would definitely be the quickest way back.”
“I don’t know,” Miyavi said, stopping to pick a bright green insect off of a nearby tree and put it in his mouth. “It sounds too easy. Don’t you think Mary would’ve thought of that?”
“Well, not to say that she didn’t think of it,” Gackt said. “In fact, I’m sure she did. That doesn’t change the fact that a fifteen minute walk from here, there has to be a road heading back to the house. That’s not exactly something that can change in just a few minutes.”
“I dunno,” U:zo started, “they cou-“ He was cut off by a death glare from Gackt.
Meanwhile, the red team hadn’t gone very far at all. About 100 feet from the starting point, Shinpei had spotted one of the small surprise huts. As Jon and Daigo tried to figure out how to get the door open, Akihide said, “This challenge is insane! How are we supposed to have any idea whatsoever whether we’re going in the right direction? We could walk for three hours in the wrong direction and not know it!”
“Well, Mary did say there would be clues,” Shinpei stated. “And if we ever get this hut open, she said whatever’s inside will help us.”
“If being the operative word, bitches,” Jon said. “I don’t know how the hell we’re supposed to get inside this thing. There’s no fucking door, man!”
“I have an idea,” Daigo said. “Stand aside.”
The other three men stepped out of the way as Daigo backed up. Getting a running start, he ran straight towards the hut and smacked hard against one of the walls. The force of the hit knocked Daigo backwards onto the ground, but the hut didn’t even quaver.
“Son of a bitch!” Jon said.
Suddenly, there was a *pop* sound and all four walls of the hut came loose and fell outwards. Daigo barely rolled out of the way in time to not get flattened by one. “This challenge blows,” he groaned. When no one said anything, Daigo looked behind him to see his teammates staring wide-eyed at the spot where the hut had been. There - like a cool breeze in the desert, a ray of light in the darkness, a last hope to a dying man - sat the biggest cache of booze this side of Ireland.
“I think I've just died and gone to Heaven,” Jon murmured.
“Maybe this challenge doesn’t suck as much as I thought it did,” Daigo said, standing up and brushing himself off.
“Oh, it still sucks,” Akihide said, “just…not as much now.”
“If this is supposed to be helpful for the challenge,” Shinpei said,” what are we supposed to do with it?”
“Well, I don’t know about y’all,” Jon said, “but I’m all out of ideas and I’m going to get CRUNK!” At that, he grabbed one of the large cases of Keystone Light and sat down by a tree with it. The rest of his team shrugged and picked up a case of their own preferred brand.
At about that time, the rest of the blue team were having problems keeping up with Jun-ji’s enthusiasm for the challenge, and frankly, they were getting rather sick of it. Jun-ji had refused to let them stop at two huts they’d passed and was blatantly ignoring clues. When he led them to the left after passing a big sign that said “GO THIS WAY” with an arrow to the right, Ju-ken spoke up.
“Jun-ji!” he exclaimed. “Where do you think you’re going?!”
“Back to the house, of course,” The drummer didn’t even slow down as he hacked his way through a small tree.
“But that sign back there said we should go to the right,” Hyde pointed out in between puffs.
“Clearly trying to mislead us into losing,” Jun-ji nodded. “Trust me on this. I know what I’m doing.” His words were emphasized by a very loud *crack* sound. Next thing they knew, You was dangling by one foot 20 feet above them. “A trap!” Jun-ji exclaimed. “Dammit!”
He quickly picked up You's fallen machete. “Give me your machetes,” he said to Hyde and Ju-ken. “Make as big a pile as possible of moss and soft leaves right underneath where he’s hanging.”
They handed him their machetes and got right to work as they watched in awe at Jun-ji's determined prowess. He picked a large tree that was relatively near where You was hanging and stood back a ways. He side-arm threw one of the machetes towards the tree, sending it spinning until it stuck firmly in the tree about five feet off the ground. He stepped back further and threw another machete. This one stuck ten feet off the ground. When all four machetes were lodged into the tree, Jun-ji tied an end of the rope hanging on his belt to the handle of the bottom machete and then proceeded to climb the tree, using the machetes as footholds. Once he stood perched atop the highest machete, he yanked on the rope attached to the bottom machete and pulled it loose from the tree. Bringing it up to him, he made sure the rope was secured around the handle and began to swing it in circles.
You - who until now had just been hanging quietly and trying not to wet himself - saw what Jun-ji was doing and started waving his hands frantically. “Jun-ji! NO! Are you insane?!” he yelled. “Just leave me here! God no! Don’t!”
“Trust me!” Jun-ji called back. At that, he let loose the machete-on-a-rope and sent it flying towards You.
“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” You screamed and covered his head with his arms.
On the ground, Hyde and Ju-ken looked up just in time to see what Jun-ji was doing. “SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” they screamed along with You right as the machete sliced cleanly through the rope and You came plummeting down. Luckily, the pile of moss and leaves that Hyde and Ju-ken had created provided a soft landing for You.
Up above, Jun-ji grinned proudly and caught the machete-on-a-rope by the handle. Jamming it securely into the tree trunk, he rappelled himself down the tree to the ground, pulling out the other machetes as he passed them. Once on the ground, he yanked on the rope again and caught the machete easily by the handle. “See?” he said to the other three. “I told you I knew what I was doing.”
They just stared at him.
On the other side of the jungle, Gackt stood with a perplexed look on his face. “We should’ve been there by now,” he said with a sigh.
“Maybe we didn’t go in a straight line?” U:zo asked.
“No, we definitely should have seen the road by now,” Gackt shook his head. “This doesn’t make sense.”
“Hey, where’s the spaz?” Chacha asked.
They all looked around and sure enough, Miyavi was nowhere to be seen.
“Son of a bitch,” Gackt said. “When did we last see him?”
“I don’t know,” Chacha said. “I thought he was behind us all this time.”
“I saw him turn off our path,” U:zo spoke up. “Maybe…20 minutes ago?”
“Now you tell us!” Gackt doubled back, shoving U:zo out of his way as he passed. “MIYAVI!” he called.
U:zo joined in, desperate to make it up to Gackt. “HEY MIYAVI, YOU OUT THERE?” There was no answer, but the silence was broken by the rustling of nearby leaves.
“That you, Miyavi?” Gackt asked quietly, moving towards the sound. All of the sudden, something sprang out from the brush and latched onto Gackt’s face.
“HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!” Chacha and U:zo both yelled as Gackt fell to the ground and tried desperately to claw the wild monkey off of his face.
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!” Gackt yelled through the monkey’s fur.
Chacha stepped forward and reached inside his jumpsuit. Pulling out a revolver, he calmly shot the monkey in the ass, sending it scampering off into the forest.
Gackt sat up, eyes wide and breathing heavily. “Thanks!” he said in disbelief.
“Good shot!” U:zo admired.
“Three times fox and hounds grand champion, I’ll have you know!” Chacha said, putting the revolver back in his jumpsuit and helping Gackt stand up. The three of them declared that they wouldn’t argue anymore and set off the way they’d come from to try to find Miyavi.
Not surprisingly, the entire red team were drunk off their asses and had completely forgotten that they were even in a contest. Having left their machetes behind, the four of them stumbled through the jungle carrying large cases of beer and singing every drinking song they knew.
“The bros at the house are gonna LOVE this shit we found!” Jon said. Unfortunately, his accent and the fact that he was completely and totally wasted made it so that no one understood a word he said.
“Hey guys, look!” Shinpei slurred and almost fell over. “Another one of those huts!” He pointed off to the left of the path they were on and in the process dropped a case of beer on his foot. “HAHAHA!!!” he laughed. “OMG THAT HURT! HAHAHA!!!!!!!”
Spotting the hut, Daigo put down his cases of beer. “Allow me!” he said and took off in a drunken run. He ran head-first into the wall of the hut and collapsed in a laughing heap on the ground. He stood up and made an over-done act of wiping dirt off of his jumpsuit. He sauntered over to the hut and knocked on the wall. “Helloooooooooooooo???????” he leaned forward and called to it. Pressing his eye to a really small hole in the wood, he said, “I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing!!! I can seeeeeee youuuuuuu!!!”
Jon was laughing so hard he dropped his cases of beer and fell on the ground clutching his sides. Akihide and Shinpei soon joined him. “Daigo is sooooooooo wasted!!!” Jon exclaimed.
“What an idiot!” Akihide couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hey guys!” Daigo was oblivious to the fact that they were laughing at him. “Come look at this! I can see the ocean from here!”
The other men just laughed harder.
They stopped laughing, however, when the walls of the hut fell open - this time smacking Daigo right in the face and knocking him to the ground - and there stood a band of very evil looking men dressed in all black with masks and very sharp weapons in each of their hands.
“NINJAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei screamed. They all jumped to their feet and took off running in the opposite direction, screaming “RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!” as the ninjas chased after them.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Genre: humor, slight crack, action
Character(s): Gackt, You, Chacha, the rest of YFCz, Hyde, Miyavi, Ju-ken, Jun-ji, Yasu (of Acid Black Cherry), and Breakerz (Daigo, Akihide, Shinpei)
Length: 2185 words
Warning(s): nothing more than language
Overall Summary: Mary Sue Fangirl has found a way to abduct her 15 favorite jrockers and make them do whatever she wants. So what does she do? She puts them in teams and makes them compete against each other in a variety of ridiculous challenges, voting members off each night until only one winner remains. The question is though, what exactly does the winner win???
Notes: This is my favorite challenge of the entire story, which is probably why it's also the longest.
Part One: The Gathering
Part Two: Meet the Cast
Part Three: The Get to Know Your Teammates Obstacle Course
Part Four: American Football
Part Five: White Water Rafting
Jun-ji cleared his throat. “The next challenge is a jungle adventure! Each team will be taken out into the middle of a jungle and left to find our ways back to the house. All survival, and that includes food, will be left up to us.”
Mary nodded. “Exactly. Dinner tonight will be up to your teams. Each member will have nothing but a machete and whatever you find in the jungle. Some paths will be marked and clues will be scattered throughout the trees. Also hidden throughout the jungle will be small huts with various surprises for anyone that finds them.”
“Luckily for the blue team,” Jun-ji said, adjusting his hat, “I happen to be an expert at jungle survival.”
“Since when?” You and Ju-ken asked at the same time.
Ignoring them, Jun-ji struck a pose. “We will most certainly win.”
“We’re going to lose,” Hyde muttered.
“Wait a minute,” Akihide spoke up, “there aren’t any jungles around here…”
“Wherever here is…” Shinpei added.
“Gentlemen, if you’ll follow me.” Mary purposely ignored the implied question and led the 12 men outside where four black Hummers were waiting. The men piled into the vehicles and were blindfolded by the helpers. They drove for quite some time before the Hummers stopped and the blindfolds were removed. As the jrockers stepped out of the vehicles, they found themselves standing in a very humid and tropical jungle.
“Well, I’ll be…” Akihide said.
Mary led them further into the jungle for about 15 minutes then stopped. Each of the men was handed a very sharp and dangerous-looking machete.
“Whoa there,” Gackt took Miyavi’s machete before he could even get his hand on it. “I don’t think so.” The guitarist pouted.
“I’ll be watching from my tree house via hidden cameras,” Mary explained as she climbed a nearby tree. “First full team to the house wins. Good luck!”
While the red and green teams just stood and stared at each other, Jun-ji bellowed “BLUE TEAM! MOVIN’ OUT!” and led his team off into the trees. The other two teams soon started off into opposite directions.
Gackt led the green team with a machete in each hand, hacking a path through the thick vines. “The way I figure,” he called over his shoulder to his teammates, “if we can just get back to where the Hummers dropped us off, there should be a road going straight back to the house.”
“Brilliant!” Chacha exclaimed. “That would definitely be the quickest way back.”
“I don’t know,” Miyavi said, stopping to pick a bright green insect off of a nearby tree and put it in his mouth. “It sounds too easy. Don’t you think Mary would’ve thought of that?”
“Well, not to say that she didn’t think of it,” Gackt said. “In fact, I’m sure she did. That doesn’t change the fact that a fifteen minute walk from here, there has to be a road heading back to the house. That’s not exactly something that can change in just a few minutes.”
“I dunno,” U:zo started, “they cou-“ He was cut off by a death glare from Gackt.
Meanwhile, the red team hadn’t gone very far at all. About 100 feet from the starting point, Shinpei had spotted one of the small surprise huts. As Jon and Daigo tried to figure out how to get the door open, Akihide said, “This challenge is insane! How are we supposed to have any idea whatsoever whether we’re going in the right direction? We could walk for three hours in the wrong direction and not know it!”
“Well, Mary did say there would be clues,” Shinpei stated. “And if we ever get this hut open, she said whatever’s inside will help us.”
“If being the operative word, bitches,” Jon said. “I don’t know how the hell we’re supposed to get inside this thing. There’s no fucking door, man!”
“I have an idea,” Daigo said. “Stand aside.”
The other three men stepped out of the way as Daigo backed up. Getting a running start, he ran straight towards the hut and smacked hard against one of the walls. The force of the hit knocked Daigo backwards onto the ground, but the hut didn’t even quaver.
“Son of a bitch!” Jon said.
Suddenly, there was a *pop* sound and all four walls of the hut came loose and fell outwards. Daigo barely rolled out of the way in time to not get flattened by one. “This challenge blows,” he groaned. When no one said anything, Daigo looked behind him to see his teammates staring wide-eyed at the spot where the hut had been. There - like a cool breeze in the desert, a ray of light in the darkness, a last hope to a dying man - sat the biggest cache of booze this side of Ireland.
“I think I've just died and gone to Heaven,” Jon murmured.
“Maybe this challenge doesn’t suck as much as I thought it did,” Daigo said, standing up and brushing himself off.
“Oh, it still sucks,” Akihide said, “just…not as much now.”
“If this is supposed to be helpful for the challenge,” Shinpei said,” what are we supposed to do with it?”
“Well, I don’t know about y’all,” Jon said, “but I’m all out of ideas and I’m going to get CRUNK!” At that, he grabbed one of the large cases of Keystone Light and sat down by a tree with it. The rest of his team shrugged and picked up a case of their own preferred brand.
At about that time, the rest of the blue team were having problems keeping up with Jun-ji’s enthusiasm for the challenge, and frankly, they were getting rather sick of it. Jun-ji had refused to let them stop at two huts they’d passed and was blatantly ignoring clues. When he led them to the left after passing a big sign that said “GO THIS WAY” with an arrow to the right, Ju-ken spoke up.
“Jun-ji!” he exclaimed. “Where do you think you’re going?!”
“Back to the house, of course,” The drummer didn’t even slow down as he hacked his way through a small tree.
“But that sign back there said we should go to the right,” Hyde pointed out in between puffs.
“Clearly trying to mislead us into losing,” Jun-ji nodded. “Trust me on this. I know what I’m doing.” His words were emphasized by a very loud *crack* sound. Next thing they knew, You was dangling by one foot 20 feet above them. “A trap!” Jun-ji exclaimed. “Dammit!”
He quickly picked up You's fallen machete. “Give me your machetes,” he said to Hyde and Ju-ken. “Make as big a pile as possible of moss and soft leaves right underneath where he’s hanging.”
They handed him their machetes and got right to work as they watched in awe at Jun-ji's determined prowess. He picked a large tree that was relatively near where You was hanging and stood back a ways. He side-arm threw one of the machetes towards the tree, sending it spinning until it stuck firmly in the tree about five feet off the ground. He stepped back further and threw another machete. This one stuck ten feet off the ground. When all four machetes were lodged into the tree, Jun-ji tied an end of the rope hanging on his belt to the handle of the bottom machete and then proceeded to climb the tree, using the machetes as footholds. Once he stood perched atop the highest machete, he yanked on the rope attached to the bottom machete and pulled it loose from the tree. Bringing it up to him, he made sure the rope was secured around the handle and began to swing it in circles.
You - who until now had just been hanging quietly and trying not to wet himself - saw what Jun-ji was doing and started waving his hands frantically. “Jun-ji! NO! Are you insane?!” he yelled. “Just leave me here! God no! Don’t!”
“Trust me!” Jun-ji called back. At that, he let loose the machete-on-a-rope and sent it flying towards You.
“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” You screamed and covered his head with his arms.
On the ground, Hyde and Ju-ken looked up just in time to see what Jun-ji was doing. “SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” they screamed along with You right as the machete sliced cleanly through the rope and You came plummeting down. Luckily, the pile of moss and leaves that Hyde and Ju-ken had created provided a soft landing for You.
Up above, Jun-ji grinned proudly and caught the machete-on-a-rope by the handle. Jamming it securely into the tree trunk, he rappelled himself down the tree to the ground, pulling out the other machetes as he passed them. Once on the ground, he yanked on the rope again and caught the machete easily by the handle. “See?” he said to the other three. “I told you I knew what I was doing.”
They just stared at him.
On the other side of the jungle, Gackt stood with a perplexed look on his face. “We should’ve been there by now,” he said with a sigh.
“Maybe we didn’t go in a straight line?” U:zo asked.
“No, we definitely should have seen the road by now,” Gackt shook his head. “This doesn’t make sense.”
“Hey, where’s the spaz?” Chacha asked.
They all looked around and sure enough, Miyavi was nowhere to be seen.
“Son of a bitch,” Gackt said. “When did we last see him?”
“I don’t know,” Chacha said. “I thought he was behind us all this time.”
“I saw him turn off our path,” U:zo spoke up. “Maybe…20 minutes ago?”
“Now you tell us!” Gackt doubled back, shoving U:zo out of his way as he passed. “MIYAVI!” he called.
U:zo joined in, desperate to make it up to Gackt. “HEY MIYAVI, YOU OUT THERE?” There was no answer, but the silence was broken by the rustling of nearby leaves.
“That you, Miyavi?” Gackt asked quietly, moving towards the sound. All of the sudden, something sprang out from the brush and latched onto Gackt’s face.
“HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!” Chacha and U:zo both yelled as Gackt fell to the ground and tried desperately to claw the wild monkey off of his face.
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!” Gackt yelled through the monkey’s fur.
Chacha stepped forward and reached inside his jumpsuit. Pulling out a revolver, he calmly shot the monkey in the ass, sending it scampering off into the forest.
Gackt sat up, eyes wide and breathing heavily. “Thanks!” he said in disbelief.
“Good shot!” U:zo admired.
“Three times fox and hounds grand champion, I’ll have you know!” Chacha said, putting the revolver back in his jumpsuit and helping Gackt stand up. The three of them declared that they wouldn’t argue anymore and set off the way they’d come from to try to find Miyavi.
Not surprisingly, the entire red team were drunk off their asses and had completely forgotten that they were even in a contest. Having left their machetes behind, the four of them stumbled through the jungle carrying large cases of beer and singing every drinking song they knew.
“The bros at the house are gonna LOVE this shit we found!” Jon said. Unfortunately, his accent and the fact that he was completely and totally wasted made it so that no one understood a word he said.
“Hey guys, look!” Shinpei slurred and almost fell over. “Another one of those huts!” He pointed off to the left of the path they were on and in the process dropped a case of beer on his foot. “HAHAHA!!!” he laughed. “OMG THAT HURT! HAHAHA!!!!!!!”
Spotting the hut, Daigo put down his cases of beer. “Allow me!” he said and took off in a drunken run. He ran head-first into the wall of the hut and collapsed in a laughing heap on the ground. He stood up and made an over-done act of wiping dirt off of his jumpsuit. He sauntered over to the hut and knocked on the wall. “Helloooooooooooooo???????” he leaned forward and called to it. Pressing his eye to a really small hole in the wood, he said, “I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing!!! I can seeeeeee youuuuuuu!!!”
Jon was laughing so hard he dropped his cases of beer and fell on the ground clutching his sides. Akihide and Shinpei soon joined him. “Daigo is sooooooooo wasted!!!” Jon exclaimed.
“What an idiot!” Akihide couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hey guys!” Daigo was oblivious to the fact that they were laughing at him. “Come look at this! I can see the ocean from here!”
The other men just laughed harder.
They stopped laughing, however, when the walls of the hut fell open - this time smacking Daigo right in the face and knocking him to the ground - and there stood a band of very evil looking men dressed in all black with masks and very sharp weapons in each of their hands.
“NINJAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jon, Daigo, Akihide, and Shinpei screamed. They all jumped to their feet and took off running in the opposite direction, screaming “RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!” as the ninjas chased after them.