Fanfiction - Another World: Chapter 03
Title: Another World (Chapter 03/??)
Author: dark_hyde
Rating: PG13
Summary: Gackt and YFC are about to set out on their first tour through America when something unexpected happens, threatening their plans to falter.
Notes: Thank you mun_chairudo for beta-reading! :) And I'd like to apologize to everyone who read and commented on my story. I'm sorry that it took me such a long time to bring you the next chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless.
"Ahahaha! You fail so much, the only way you'd get any points was if your enemies killed themselves out of pity!"
Gackt's grip on the PS3 controller tightened dangerously. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the urge to throw the controller at Sho's head. Jon and Taya joining in on Sho's laughter didn't help any.
The singer glared furiously at the three, silently wondering if it really had been such a good idea to have wanted to spend the rest of the night playing videogames. But he had wanted to lighten up Sho’s mood in some way and maybe try to break the ice between them while he was at it. There was no denying that things didn’t go smoothly between them and both had a hard time trying to figure out how to deal with the other. Establishing certain rules hadn’t exactly helped to improve things. But Gackt had to have control over what was going on around him or he would risk messing up the tour… or worse.
The problem was Sho didn’t like to be controlled much and was giving the singer a hard time. Although he had said he would play by the rules he was still being a pain in the ass. He seemed to oppose Gackt at any chance he got, just for the hell of it. Maybe he was trying to determine the point at which the singer snapped. Gackt tried to hide his irritation most of the time, but it wasn’t easy for him as he wasn’t used to being hit back at. Especially not by someone who was unable to hold a candle to him in any sense.
Well, maybe not any sense, Gackt thought bitterly, having to admit that Sho had just owned him at Modern Warfare 3. He hadn’t seen that one coming. Not when he had been extra careful to only invite who he believed to be a total noob. That’s why he had felt just a little bit bad about telling You and Takumi not to come, but they were both nerds when it came to videogames.
In the end only his twin vocal and the dancer were left. It could've worked out so well. If only he hadn't underestimated the youth.
Gackt scoffed inwardly. What was it with videogames and youth anyway? Sho owning everyone at a game he said he had never played before made the singer feel old somehow.
Watching the boy laughing, Gackt's anger subsided slowly. When he thought about it there was a high possibility that Sho had never held a PS3 controller in his hands before. He didn't know much about him but from what he gathered Sho had been living on the streets. Maybe still was, if it hadn't been for Gackt letting him stay here. It was likely. And it was understandable that Sho didn't want to talk about it. Gackt had decided he wouldn't force him to, either.
Instead he watched him closely. Sho seemed to be full of emotions, but for some reason he tried to conceal them. Gackt suspected that under his aggressive and rude behavior, Sho was afraid. He had probably made a lot of ugly experiences in his young life which had taught him not to show or admit any kind of weakness. Not knowing how to deal with it at all, he was likely hiding his vulnerability away, even from himself.
In Gackt's books this was not the right way to go about one's fears, however. He had lived for long enough to be able to say that for sure. He had the experience and he wasn’t going to keep it all to himself. Not when others could learn from it.
He was trying to help and teach a whole generation, so why shouldn't he try to help Sho, too? He knew very well that helping Sho would take more than music, more than words. It would need action, because Sho was far beyond where anything else could reach him. Gackt had realized that tonight when he had been watching the boy during the concert, hoping he would reach him. But his hope had faded with every song and by the end of the live Sho’s utter lack of reaction had left him feeling a mixture of irritation, worry and anxiety.
However, he knew he hadn’t failed. It wasn’t that he hadn’t reached Sho, it was that reaching Sho wasn’t sufficient. It was what Gackt had been suspecting all along. The boy needed neither his music, nor his fame or money. He needed guidance. Desperately. All that Sho had been taught was that admitting weakness led to pain, but no one had ever taught him what to do with it other than hiding it behind anger and aggression.
Knowing this, there was no way in hell Gackt would simply give him money and send him back to Taipei. Although he had kind of said he would. But that wouldn’t be helpful to Sho at all. If anything it’d spoil the brat. Sho needed to be able to get back to Taipei on his own, he needed to learn to face his weakness, instead of running from it.
He needed to become strong. But for now, he needs to pay for having made fun of me, Gackt decided spontaneously.
“I think I’ll pass the next round”, he lay the controller aside and stood up from where the four of them where sitting on the ground with cushions all around them.
“Your ego needs a break, huh?”, Sho said grinning brightly, starting into the next team-deathmatch, “looks like it got badly bruised.”
“It’ll recover”, Gackt scoffed at the youngster, before turning away and whispering to himself, “faster than you’ll like.”
He strode over to the bar, picked up a bottle of his favorite wine and three glasses and went back to his friends.
He dropped down onto a cushion next to Sho. The boy was lying on his stomach with his eyes fixed on the screen, fiercely punching the buttons of the controller in his hands. He paid the singer no attention, obviously satisfied with having owned the adult nonstop for the last two hours.
Jon and Taya who had been sharing the thrill with Sho, sitting at the boy’s other side, noticed Gackt however, and were happy to see what he had brought for them. Gackt poured them some of the wine and handed them their glasses, pointedly making them reach over Sho. He knew that their movements wouldn’t go unnoticed for it was literally done behind the boy’s back and therefore attacked a sore spot.
Gackt had noticed early on that Sho was overly sensitive when it came to his personal space. He didn’t really like to be touched by anyone to begin with, but he was also extremely alert and cautious to whatever happened behind his back. Especially when it happened closely behind his back. Sho never let his guard down, he was always ready for a possible attack.
It was admirable, but in a way it was also very sad. It meant he never felt save, he never felt at ease. Not even around the people he trusted. Maybe he didn’t really trust anyone. Maybe he wasn’t able to.
As Gackt had expected, Sho noticed the movement going on behind him and immediately sat up, ducking under their arms and coming up behind them before the singer could even give one of the glasses out of his hands. Seeing that nothing extraordinary had been going on behind his back, Sho casually leaned against the couch and continued playing, not wanting to let on how unsettled he really felt.
It didn’t escape Gackt, though. He knew that he had made the youth feel uneasy for a moment, but that wasn’t the point at all. He had merely done that to get his attention. Or rather, to draw his attention to something else.
“Hey”, Sho said in a defensive voice, indicating he was still tense, “what about me?”
“What about you?”, Gackt asked back matter-of-factly, before taking a sip from his glass.
“What about ME?”, Sho tried again, pointing at Taya and Jon with the controller still in his hand, “you bring glasses for them but not for me!”
“Of course not”, the singer deadpanned, easily hiding his amusement behind a serious mask, “you’re underage. You don’t drink alcohol.”
“The hell?”, Sho scoffed, not paying the screen any more attention, locking his eyes on Gackt’s, “are you kidding me?!”
Gackt stared at the boy for a moment, surprised by the sudden seriousness that had somehow crept its way into the situation. Although Sho had put quite an amount of anger into his voice and used a rather loose wording, his body language said something completely different. He was tense and frowned slightly and for what was maybe a second or two Sho openly looked at him, not trying to hide that his eyes were searching for something, asking a question he couldn’t find in him to ask with his voice. For an instant Sho admitted his insecurity.
Gackt’s eyes widened just the slightest bit. That’s what this was about. Sho wasn’t asking him whether he was kidding or not, he was trying to be careful not to break the rules here. He wanted to know where the line was and whether he was about to cross it now. He didn’t intend to cross it this time.
The singer could see how hard that was for Sho as the boy probably never had to respect something or someone before and that it was hurting part of his pride now.
The moment didn’t last and Sho blinked, still holding eye contact afterwards, but with all the insecurities gone from his eyes, hidden away again. He stared defensively at Gackt, indicating that this was all the respect he’d demonstrate for now and when Gackt didn’t reply right away, Sho narrowed his eyes at him.
It told Gackt that he had to answer the underlying question or he could forget being on good terms with the boy any time soon. Sho had offered him something for a start, and that was to agree playing by his rules nonetheless. He couldn’t just dismiss the silent offer, not only because he knew he wouldn’t be getting another one in a really long while, but simply because he found he didn’t have the heart to.
It kind of bugged him, though. If anyone else had given him such a halfhearted attempt, he would’ve made damn sure that person would never do anything in a half assed way ever again. But he feared that if he took advantage of the vulnerability Sho had shown him just now and scolded him for having done exactly that, he’d only make things worse.
He had to believe that Sho had already gone out of his way with the halfhearted attempt as it was. At least he had tried. Still Gackt couldn’t help getting pissed at how Sho was glaring at him. Sometimes he just plain out hated having to be the grown-up.
“No, I’m not kidding”, he eventually said in a calm voice, trying to assure Sho that he had gotten his message, “no alcohol for y-“
“Aww, come one”, Jon bawled, lying an arm around Sho’s shoulders from behind, either failing to notice how the boy stiffened or completely ignoring it as he offered him his wine glass, “let him have some, too. I’d feel like a total ass if we didn’t let him.”
While Taya laughed lightly, not seeing any harm being done, Gackt shot his twin vocal a deathglare. After all, the singer had a fairly good reason for not wanting to let Sho have any alcohol - other than paying him back for having owned him earlier - and it had nothing to do with the liquid itself. He wasn’t trying to protect the boy from getting his ass drunk and regretting it the next day, like hell he would. If he thought about it, he’d actually like to see Sho drunk. He’d be entertained for the rest of the night without a doubt. But Gackt forced himself to act reasonably, which wasn’t hard for him. His trained self-control allowed him to let go of the prank-like thought in the blink of an eye.
If he wanted Sho to learn something it’d have to be showing respect first of all, but now that his efforts were about to show tiny little results, Taya and Jon, those dumbasses, were about to crush them by breaking that goddamned one rule.
Gackt could only assume that Sho would welcome Jon’s offer. The twin vocal was making the rule invalid by going against it and that as an adult who was supposed to help keeping it upright. It was like a father saying no with the mother bumping in to say yes, an invitation for the youth to follow whatever answer was to his advantage, because the parents had made both valid.
That sucks, Gackt concluded, glaring daggers at his metaphorical wife who was literally shoving her wine glass into Sho’s face. Much to Gackt’s surprise the boy actually tried to fend the twin vocal off. He didn’t jump at the chance like Gackt had thought he would, even though Jon was practically offering him a way around that rule. But Sho struggled to get Jon off of him. The singer let himself be pushed off, too perplexed to do anything about it other than complaining.
“Heeey, what’s wrong with you? I’m just trying to be nice, you know.”
“Then go trying to be nice somewhere else. Not on my back”, Sho growled at him, turning to lean back against the couch so that Jon wouldn’t try to get behind him again.
It confirmed Gackt’s assumption that Sho wasn’t playing saint. He hadn’t rejected the glass because he had meant to stick to the rule, but because he had wanted the brutal intruder out of his personal space fast. The rule hadn’t been an issue at all.
Gackt watched his friends, wondering how he could find out whether Sho was taking him seriously or not, when an idea hit him. It was simple. He only had to take the situation into the right direction, which was a piece of cake for him.
“Jon, you should be a little more considerate”, the singer began, addressing his twin in a scolding tone, “I think Sho’s uncomfortable with having people intrude his personal space so violently.”
Jon and Taya both looked at Sho as if they really hadn’t known or noticed this before.
“Oh, really?”, Taya asked carefully, almost sounding apologetic although he hadn’t done anything.
Jon on the other hand watched Sho awkwardly, probably feeling very bad about what he had done and how carelessly he had done it. It was exactly what Gackt had aimed for and he tried hard not to look pleased or satisfied, because for the other three the situation was anything but pleasant.
“It’s okay”, Sho tried to reassure Gackt’s friends, smiling slightly at them before shooting the singer a wary glance, either indicating that he knew something was off or wanting to let on that he wasn’t happy about Gackt having dropped that bit of information just now.
Whatever it was, it was unsettling Sho. So Gackt decided to unsettle him further by smiling a tiny little smile at him, letting the youth know that whatever happened next would happen with a meaning. It was a warning and he knew Sho would understand it as such, because the boy was good at using and reading body language, especially when it came to danger signs.
“Nah, it’s not okay”, Jon offered in return, “I’m really sorry for having made you feel… uh uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to.”
Sho smiled at him, “I know that. No big deal, so don’t worry about it.”
Hearing the boy speak boldly and confidently, Jon managed to smile back sheepishly.
“Okay… oh, hey! Here”, Jon carefully put his glass of wine down in front of Sho, “You can have mine in satisfaction of… you know.”
Gackt had to bite down onto his lower lip in order to keep a bright smile from showing on his face. Jon had just done exactly what the singer had been hoping for accurately to the millimeter. Placed a glass filled with alcohol directly in front of Sho’s nose, handing him the choice to break the rule on a silver platter. Which meant the brat was forced to make a decision now.
As expected, Sho realized what Gackt was trying to do and shot him a wary glare. It didn’t bother the singer much. He stared right back at him, openly challenging him to dare and break the rule without having to speak a single word.
Sho took his eye off Gackt and looked down at the glass sitting in front of him. Gackt watched him curiously, not able to tell at all, what the boy would do now.
But when he saw Sho picking up the glass, the singer felt an instant anger rise inside him that made him watch Sho’s next actions scornfully. Holding the glass his hand Sho locked his eyes on Gackt’s and glared. Seconds ticked away.
Taya and Jon kept perfectly still, waiting for either of the two hotheads to make a move.
Not taking his angry eyes off Gackt, Sho eventually stretched his arm out towards Jon, handing the wine glass back to him.
“Thanks, but I’m still underage”, he scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm directed at no one else but Gackt.
The singer was slightly impressed, but far from admitting it. In some way, Sho sure had guts and probably more so than anyone else his age. Gackt’s anger faded. Sho had proven that he was playing by his rules alright. But he had also given Gackt to understand that he wasn’t exactly happy with it. Sho probably thought he didn’t have much of a choice. Maybe he didn’t, yet. But Gackt was determined to make the boy see that he in fact did have a choice and always would have.
Wanting to loosen the tension between the two, Jon hastily took his glass back, successfully making Sho break the intense eye contact.
“Ah, okay. Sure”, the twin vocalist started to babble, hoping to get Gackt’s attention, too, “of course. That was… stupid of me.”
He glared at Gackt, finally realizing that the other singer had been playing games with them.
Gackt smiled at Jon, looking like he was trying to be innocence in person. But his twin snorted, easily dismissing the other singer’s attempt at a silent apology.
“Aww, come one, don’t be mad now”, Gackt tried again, but Jon just kept glaring at him, arms crossed over his chest.
While Taya still hadn’t gotten the gist of what had happened and simply proceeded to treat himself to another glass of the delicious wine, Gackt was becoming impatient with Jon, although he knew that his twin wasn’t the one annoying him at all.
“Stop being a bitch about it, I said I was sorry”, he said raising his voice and chin, sounding all but apologetic.
“Oh, now I’m a bitch? And I definitely didn’t hear you saying sorry, G”, Jon snapped at him, straightening up.
The movement was not enough to alarm Gackt. He stayed perfectly calm and relaxed. Taya and Sho watched the scene unfold, too dumbfounded to do or say anything about it.
“You definitely sound like a bitch now, and I just said sorry, didn’t I?”
“Oh, for Chrissake! Don’t try to pull your bullshit on me as if I was one of your girls!”
“Then stop acting like one.”
That seemed to have gotten the better of Jon for he let himself slump back into the cushions, looking like he had just been slapped.
“Easy, guys”, Taya came to Jon’s aid, or at least he thought he did, “why don’t you battle it out in a sparring match tomorrow, huh?”
“I don’t see how that’s supposed to work”, Gackt said skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest, “You know I don’t hit girls.”
“Haha”, Jon snorted, “I bet you’re just trying to chicken out, G.”
“Lame wordplay , Jon. Try again.”
Jon struggled to come up with something smart enough to backfire, when Sho wordlessly tossed him one of the PS3 controllers, forcing him to catch it before it hit his face.
Sho grinned smugly at a bewildered Gackt, not hiding how much he enjoyed seeing the singer being about to get owned.
“I hope that watching me fail at this stupid game will be worth it for you, Sho”, Gackt said calmly, picking up his own controller, “’Cause that’ll cost you.”
Seeing Sho’s smile falter just a tiny bit, Gackt turned to the screen, satisfied. He knew he was going to lose match after match for the next hours to come, but tomorrow was a new day. Payday.
Sho woke up, grunting, finding himself lying on the ground between a bunch of comfortable cushions. His first thought was to go back to sleep, but his body was alert to a presence nearby and he was forced to act on that instinct. He turned his head and saw Gackt crouching in front of him. The singer was staring down at him in a mixture of anticipation and amusement. He was wearing clothes for training, which wasn’t exactly a good sign.
Grunting again, Sho sat up and looked around the room. He must have fallen asleep playing that war-game with the others for he was sitting in the living room next to the couch and a quick glance at the windows told him that it was still dark outside.
He looked back at Gackt, frowning.
“Did you wake me up?”
Gackt tilted his head to the side.
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
Gackt smiled slightly.
“Well, did you hear me whispering into your ear?”
“What?!”, Sho snapped, turning red as he did.
Gackt laughed at him, forcing Sho to hide his embarrassment under a deathly glare.
“Hell, no! I didn’t hear you and you didn’t wake me up! And don’t ever do that again!”, he yelled at the singer, holding on to one of the cushions and clutching it against his chest without fully realizing it, “stop laughing, goddammit!”
But Gackt didn’t. He was almost rolling over the floor, shaking with laughter. Sho just stared, surprised to find that he wasn’t angry at all. There was no anger. No fears. No doubts. For the first time in a really long while, he felt secure. Completely and utterly secure. As if Gackt’s laughter had washed all the bad things away. Sho was comfortable, even though the older man was making fun of him. He was able to enjoy it as well.
For a simple and clean moment there was nothing weighing Sho’s heart down. Nothing holding back his own chuckle or the tears rolling down his cheeks silently.
“Are you crying?”
Sho flinched slightly, noticing that the laughter had ceased and that his own smile had died on his lips. Everything came back crashing down on him. Desperate and angry that he wasn’t able to hold on to the happiness he had just felt, he glared down at the cushion he was still clutching before throwing it at Gackt forcefully.
“It’s none of your bloody business!”, Sho screamed, jumping to his feet and storming off.
He didn’t get any further than the doorframe to the bedroom when Gackt caught up with him, grabbing his upper arm and roughly turning him around.
“Let me go!”, Sho jerked out of the grip and backed away, facing the angry singer.
There were more tears falling from his eyes, he couldn’t stop them anymore. Though his vision was slightly blurry, he could clearly see that Gackt was at a loss of what to do. He was dealing with a crying teenager that was behaving like a total jerk. Sho knew. He knew he was troubling the man standing in front of him a great deal. He knew that the other thought of him as a stupid, annoying and dirty stray that had no manners and was aggressive and violent. And he was right.
Sho was all that and he didn’t bother trying to show that he was even more. What did Gackt know? What did they know? Hiding in their luxury, in a world that was built on top of his. He hated them and their ignorance.
“Stop crying already”, Gackt told him, his voice sounding irritated.
Sho glared at him through the tears that began to dry on his face. The singer looked like he didn’t give a damn. Why should he? Sho was an annoyance to him, interfering with his holy schedule and busy life. Why had he even bothered in the first place? To play the saint? Trying to do one good deed?
“Fuck this. I’ll leave”, Sho announced sharply, turning from the singer to go get his shoes from the cupboard.
“I thought you needed my help?”, Gackt asked matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t need your help”, Sho scoffed, hastily putting on his shoes, not looking at Gackt even once, “I don’t need anything from you.”
“You’ll freeze”, Gackt said, stepping into Sho’s way when the boy tried to leave the room.
Sho was only wearing jeans and a sweater, borrowed from the singer. If he just left he’d be stealing the clothes, but he could care less. It wasn’t like Gackt couldn’t afford it.
“Then either give me a jacket or leave me the hell alone”, Sho said scornfully, eyeing the man with hate and contempt.
Gackt hesitated for a moment, but then went over to the same cupboard, picked out a jacket and held it out to Sho, his face expressionless.
Sho grabbed it, attempting to take it from Gackt only to find that the singer didn’t let go of it. He glared at the older man, opening his mouth to scoff at him, but Gackt beat him to it.
“We’ll go down into the gym and fight. If you win, the jacket is yours. If you lose, you’ll stay with us until the end of the tour.”
“I’ve had enough of your shit”, Sho spit, letting go of the garment and turned to leave.
“Running away, are we?”, Gackt laughed drily, making Sho stop in his tracks, “Just like you always do. Chicken out.”
“I never run from fights”, Sho hissed, standing with his back to the singer, “I just can’t stand seeing your goddamn face any longer.”
“I don’t think it’s my face you can’t stand to see”, Gackt said calmly, making Sho clench his fists to the point his knuckles started hurting, “It’s your own goddamn weakness.”
Sho stood in the doorway, badly shaken with anger, fear and despair. The overwhelming feelings clutched at his chest, depriving him of air. He thought about something to say. He could have said a million of things. He could’ve told Gackt to go fuck himself, for a start. He could’ve told him to take his bloody wisdom and preaches down to hell with him. He could’ve told him that there was a world outside of his golden cage. A world in which people starved, fought, killed each other. A world that had no place for the weak.
Gackt thought he was tough? Sho could’ve told him that he wasn’t, wouldn’t last a day if he tried. He could’ve laughed that stuck-up asshole in the face. A fight? He clearly didn’t know what he was asking for. A sparring match with protective wear in a gym wasn’t a fight. It was a game for kids at the most. Or for rockstars who thought they were cool. Fighting wasn’t cool. Fighting was for survival. It hurt and the loser died.
Sho doubted Gackt had ever fought for his life, had ever been close to being killed. Who was he to talk about fear and weakness? Gackt didn’t know fear. He didn’t know the feeling of having the muzzle of a gun shoved into his face, the blade of a knife pressed to his neck. If you were weak, you didn’t survive these kinds of encounters. But Sho had survived them all. He wouldn’t despair at the hands of a freaking dreamer now.
Sharply exhaling the breath he had been holding, Sho turned around, furiously advancing on Gackt and punching the surprised man across the face, sending him flying backwards. The singer hit the floor hard, the jacket dropped beside him.
“You don’t even know what a fight is”, Sho said harshly, not waiting for Gackt to recover from the blow he had taken, “you arrogant prig.”
He bent down to pick up the jacket, put it on and turned to leave, not expecting Gackt to fight back. The man was nothing but talk.
However, when he was at the front door of the hotel room, he heard footsteps behind him and turned around just in time to see Gackt throwing a fist at him. He avoided the blow with a fast and neat sidestep, grabbing the singer’s outstretched arm in his move and slammed him into the door, head first.
Sho heard the man grunt and expected him to slump down in the next second, but instead Gackt supported himself on the door and turning to his side kicked out at Sho, booting him in the gut. Sho was knocked down screaming, hitting the floor hard a few meters away from Gackt.
He had just about enough time to get back to his feet before Gackt seized him by his collar and threw him crashing into the nearby commode, Sho’s back knocking off the table lamp and a vase with flowers. Sho hissed in pain, the sound of the shattering glass ringing in his ears. Quickly noting that he was more or less sitting on the dresser, which enabled him to use the full force of both his legs, he kicked Gackt off him, shoving him into the opposite wall of the narrow corridor they were fighting in.
Sho jumped off the wooden furniture and hastily moved after Gackt, aiming to force him out of the narrow space. It hadn’t taken him long to realize that the singer was physically stronger and that a confined room would only add to the other’s advantage. Sho’s fast reaction time and reflexes wouldn’t help him any if he didn’t have the space to use them to avoid and dodge attacks.
Although Sho was on him in a matter of seconds, Gackt managed to catch his fist and got a hold of his other arm, too, wanting to push him off, back into the corridor. Sho caught on fast, taking one step back to lure Gackt into thinking he had the upper hand and when the singer fell for it, eagerly closing what little space was left between them to gain more power over him, Sho run his knee into his gut. Gackt let go off him, doubling over in pain. Sho used the short state of Gackt’s defenselessness and struck him in the face, making him fall back into the spacious living room.
Gackt heaved himself up on all fours, blood dripping from his face. He only managed to turn his head before Sho was at him again and mercilessly kicked him into his side, forcefully pushing him back onto the floor. The singer grunted in pain, rolling over to his other side, away from the boy. Sho came after him, kicking him again. But by the time Sho’s boot came into Gackt’s reach, the singer was on his knees and managed to catch Sho’s leg.
Caught off balance, Sho fell to the ground when Gackt proceeded to pull at his leg. He landed on his back, immediately kicking out at Gackt with his free leg to get the singer to let go off him and back away. Gackt did exactly that in order to avoid the second kick and gave Sho enough time to roll himself backwards over his head, putting even more distance between them before he got back to his feet.
They lunged at each other again, exchanging a number of kicks and blows, brutally throwing each other into pieces of furniture whenever they managed to get a hold of the other. They destroyed most of the living room’s interior that stood in their way, hurting themselves on pieces of broken glass and porcelain and mercilessly used their injuries against one another, trying to gain the upper hand by attacking what had become visible weak points.
They were both hurt badly, bearing open and bleeding wounds, when Sho resorted to picking up a piece of broken glass and attacked Gackt with it in one final attempt. He doubted he would get away with what he had done so he figured he might as well finish the bastard off.
But Gackt caught his wrist and twisted it, immobilizing Sho with a wave of pain for long enough to get behind him and catch him in a stranglehold. Sho dropped the piece of glass at once, desperately clutching at the arm around his throat brutally depriving him of air.
“How’s that for a fight?”, Gackt hissed into his ear.
Sho felt a mixture of anger and fear rise inside him and tried to struggle free. But Gackt had him in an iron grip. He couldn’t have begged him to let him go if he had wanted to for he wasn’t getting enough air to speak. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking that he’d die for sure.
Gackt held on to Sho until the boy ceased fighting and his body hung limply in his arms, telling him he had finally blacked out. The singer let go of him then and the thud of Sho’s limb body hitting the floor was the last sound to fill the room before everything fell utterly silent. It was all that was left of the noises of shattering glass, bursting objects, their own voices, screaming, grunting and cursing each other. Silence.
Gackt looked down at the unconscious form, sadly wondering how Sho had gotten so out of control under his watch. He had been dead serious. He would’ve killed him if he could have. Just like that.
The singer clenched his fists, admitting that he didn’t know anything about the boy after all. He hadn’t thought Sho to be that dangerous. It had been stupid of him to think he could do anything for that boy. It had been stupid of him to take him so lightly, to take him for just another youngster having problems facing life. Sho was indeed out of his reach, and he had been stupid enough to make their worlds clash so violently.
It had been the most unreasonable things of all, to take Sho with him. You had been right all along. The boy was like a ticking time bomb, and he couldn’t simply be defused by a few well-intentioned words of advice.
Gackt slumped down to the floor, letting out a heavy sigh. What on earth had he been thinking? He gazed out of the window, noting that dawn was already breaking. He was sure the others were waiting for him in the gym by now. The singer licked his lips nervously, tasting his blood on them. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do or how he was going to explain the mess he had created.
Everything had still been fine yesterday, and in good fun this morning. Until Sho had snapped. Gackt wondered if he had forced himself on Sho, if he had been too pushy. Maybe Sho wouldn’t have accepted his help at all if he hadn’t been injured and disoriented back then. Sho hadn’t wanted his help as much as Gackt had wanted to give it. This was bound to happen.
Sho thought he knew life, and he thought Gackt didn’t. In the end, Gackt realized, they both new life, just in very different ways.
Gackt sighed again, his heart wrenching painfully. Their lives were not meant to overlap. Sho could never get into his world, and he could never get into Sho’s. There was a line that Sho had crossed maybe very early in his life that Gackt knew he would never cross. It had taken him having Sho almost kill him to realize that.
The singer was staring at Sho with sad eyes, when the ringtone of his cell phone pulled him out of his thoughts roughly. He moved around the room, trying to find his phone in the midst of all the chaos. Having found it eventually, he picked it up and numbly noted how bruised his hands were.
He looked at the display that showed him an unknown caller ID. It wasn’t unusual for him to get calls from people he didn’t know, from people who shouldn’t even have his number, but he didn’t feel like talking to some stranger, especially not now. He considered just not picking up, when for some reason his body moved without his consent, pressing the button to receive the call and putting the phone to his ear.
“Yeah?”, he asked, irritated at how weak his voice sounded even to his own ears.
“Is this Gackt I’m talking to?”, a female rounded in a deep an husky voice.
She spoke in English, her tone was stone-cold. It sent shivers down Gackt’s spine, clouding his mind with a sudden fear.
“Who are you?”, he shot back, instinctively not wasting any time on courtesy.
The woman scoffed, answering his question with blatantly faked politeness.
“Oh, but of course. How rude of me. My name is Catherine Marlowe and I’m calling you to inform you that one soul is currently missing from your precious little family.”
Gackt’s mind went completely blank. He stood unmoving, his eyes absently watching Sho’s unconscious form.
“You probably haven’t noticed the loss yet, but by no later than your next rehearsal you will. After all, twin vocals require two vocalists if I’m not mistaken.”
The woman’s words sank in quickly, coming down heavily on Gackt’s heart. He tore his eyes away from the boy and looked out of the hotel window, his glance drifting over New York’s skyscrapers in a fit of panic.
“My, your twin is such a handsome man and he has such a beautiful, lovely voice.”
Gackt thought he had understood the situation, but when he heard his close friend’s voice screaming in pain, he found it hard to comprehend, hard to believe. He had to force himself to believe it was real. It was real. They had Jon. And they were hurting him.
“And now imagine”, the woman named Marlowe continued mercilessly as if she was determined to crush Gackt completely, “I can listen to him singing all night if I want to.”
Gackt’s heart sank, Marlowe’s threat piercing it with a thousand hot knifes. She had him. Defeated.
“What do you want?”, he asked in a hushed, trembling voice.
She chuckled and Gackt felt anger ride inside him but was unable to do anything about.
“Well, your twin sure is a fine man, but you see, I’m much more into young and innocent boys. I had such a nice little boy, but unfortunately he ran away. I’ve been looking for him ever since, with little success. I’m at a loss of what to do. Maybe you could help me find him?”
Gackt’s eyes darted to Sho still lying on the floor with wrecked and broken objects surrounding him. The singer’s eyes narrowed at the boy and he was about to reply to Marlowe’s question, when she beat him to it.
“Let me ask you a different question. And I want you to think about your answer carefully, about whether you’re going to lie to me or not. Because there’s a good chance that I’ll be willing to exchange your twin vocal for that boy. Such an exchange requires a lot of trust, of course, and you lying to me wouldn’t exactly help me having trust in you. Do you understand that?”
Gackt swallowed hard, nodding hesitantly. Then he realized that Marlowe could not see him, so he forced himself to utter a tiny, shallow “yes”.
“Very well. Now, do you have my boy?”
Gackt closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing even. His heart was racing. When he opened his eyes again, they were still locked on Sho. Watching him, anger, sadness and disappointment flooded Gackt, almost drowning him. He felt like getting rid of Sho, abandoning him, leaving him out in the cold, throwing him out right now. But he also felt the urge to protect him coming back, for Sho, after all, was just a kid, all alone, and in a great deal of danger. He remembered the injuries Sho bore on his back and wrists.
He glared down at the boy, angry at Sho and angry at himself. Sho had betrayed his trust. He had promised Gackt that he wouldn’t get his family into any kind of danger. But his lies, inexperience and egoistical behavior had gotten them into trouble. A lot of trouble.
Gackt clenched his fists, knowing that if he had listened to You, none of this would have happened. Everything would’ve been fine. No, not everything, the singer quickly reminded himself. They would’ve been fine. They would have went on with their tour, save and soundly, when Sho would’ve still been out on the streets, his life in danger.
No matter how he looked at it, in the end he had only himself to blame. He had brought Sho into his family, with all the darkness from beyond that line he knew Sho had crossed. He had been sure he could deal with it. He couldn’t, and now he was facing the consequences.
By the time Gackt chose to answer Marlowe, he was glaring down at Sho scornfully, having come to the decision that he wouldn’t drag anyone else into this. If he had to cross the line to save Jon, then he would do that alone.
“Yes, I have the boy”, he told Marlowe in a cold and distant voice.
He could almost hear her smiling.
“Good. Now listen closely.”