Marine Blue Kaze ni Dakarete... 5/?
Title: Marine Blue Kaze ni Dakarete... (Embraced by the Marine Blue Wind...)
Author: shiro_koomori
Rating: I'm not sure on the rating, anymore. So, ?
Pairing: Mainly You/Gackt, but also mentions Gackt/Masa, Chacha/You, Chacha/Ju-ken, Chacha/Ren, Chacha/EVERYONE? No. No, I'm kidding. X3
Summary: An AU school fanfic. Gackt moves into a new school and You's mind is thrown array with this eccentric, positively weird new student. First person. You's P.O.V.
Notes: Another longer chapter than the first few ones. Thank you, as always, for reading! I'm seriously glad you all like it. (^-^)
Chapter 5 - A Daily Dose of Confusion
I’d been sitting through almost half an hour of English, in a silent classroom and yes, I was starting to get bored. That didn’t mean I welcomed the incessant kicking I was getting to one of the legs of my chair, though. Sitting through that for only a few seconds was annoying enough, but when Gackt refused to stop because I’d been moping lately, and would only stop if I cheered up, that was when I kind of lost it. Remember, the classroom was silent. Not only that, but earlier my sister had been annoying the hell out of me at home because she’d managed to get Gackt’s number, and refused to give me the piece of paper it was written on. And then, I felt jealous, which lead to being annoyed because I felt jealous, which didn’t make sense. And then, the teacher kept making me answer every single question because he somehow knew I had no idea what he was talking about. I’d suffered enough kicks to my pride, and then I have Gackt annoying me, as well. I can’t be a nice guy, all the time.
“What, so if you’re pissed off, confused or angry, you’re allowed to mope and be silent and act like a prick-but, hey, You, no, You has to all happy twenty-four-seven? Is that right?” I hissed, and I felt everyone move, their gazes fixed on the two of us. I was turned in my seat, glaring at Gackt who had stopped kicking my chair to give me a bemused look. Then, shrugging, he glanced around the room leisurely, a foot tapping once on the leg, just to remind me or possibly just to annoy me, even more.
It’s not often I get angry enough to confront someone about it, or, take my frustration out on them, so, when I do… it’s usually a bit of a, “Wooaaahhhh…” moment, and that was exactly what I was experiencing, with the rest of the class turned to stare at me as if I’d grown an extra eye-a green eye, at that.
“Yeah, that’s right.” He declared, and once again, he looked normal to everyone else, cold emotions only, but I could hear and see the mocking tone in his voice and his eyes as they met mine. Thanks, Gackt. Thanks. I’m glad you enjoy mocking me in front of the rest of the class, but, please refrain from doing it again.
“… Oh.”
“Is there something wrong, You?” The teacher asked.
“Uh… no. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure, or, are you going to tell us the rest of your problems with Gackt in the middle of an English class?”
“No, Sir.”
“Good. Now, what’s the answer to…?”
Yes. Thank you, Gackt.
Some days, I could kill him, and it’s a wonder I’ve never told him he’s lucky that’s he’s as close to me as he is. Otherwise, I probably would of done something about it. Gackt found it hilarious, though, and, more than once, I heard a sniffing noise behind me. Knowing he was trying to stop himself from laughing didn’t help.
The next time Gackt decided to annoy me, I was totally unaware it was going to happen. I’d been standing minding my own business, when a group of girls had stalked up to me. Except, it wasn’t a bad stalk, they weren’t ready to start pounding me and neither were they gushing their love for me. They were interested in talking, which struck me as odd in the first place. Well, I eventually caught on that that wasn’t what they were after, at all, when one of them ran a hand through me dyed red-brown hair, which was in small, poufy, messy spikes (1), and slid a hand down my chest. That’s when I recognised this girl who was planning on… who knows what. Arisu Fukazawa. The last person on this planet I had expected to see that day.
“Uh…” Yes, I blushed. I don’t know why, but, as soon as that happened, Gackt appeared out of nowhere, as if he had some kind of ‘You-is-about-to-be-molested Radar™ Limited Edition’. A hand slid smoothly under my blazer, across the small of my back. I could feel the heat of the palm of his hand through the thin dress shirt we were made to wear as uniform as his fingers curled around my hip, tugging me strongly against a warm flank.
“I’m afraid he’s taken.” He mumbled hotly, and I glanced down at him in shock, seeing a cold glare on his face and his eyelids lowered, daring them. A few of them seemed confused and more-or-less disgusted. Arisu raised her thin eyebrows, not amused.
“’Taken’? And by whom?” She asked, a small smirk on her face.
“Me, obviously.” He stated, frowning.
“So, you’re gay, then? Well, it’s good to know that my pride can stay a little more intact, with the knowledge that I was turned down by a gayboy.” She murmured, a small hand resting on her hip, which jutted out to the side. Arisu was practically emitting arrogance, but Gackt could live up to it. I didn’t know whether he’d bite, or, stay on a reasonable level.
“We are who we are.” Gackt spoke clearly, making sure Arisu knew exactly where she stood in all of this. I was almost having a panic attack, right there, next to Gackt (when I say next to, I mean plastered to, because there was no space between us). What was he saying? What was she saying? I know I didn’t have much of a life before, but now, it’s totally ruined. You know that feeling of impending doom? At that time, I was experiencing a deathly dosage of it.
Maybe, she was smiling with an accomplished look, before leaning in close to me, lowering her long eyelashes. “You know, I’ve never noticed you before, but you’re actually pretty damn cute. Ask around, you’ll know where to find me.” After that, she moved slowly away, her gaze lingering on me before glancing quickly at Gackt, before she marched off with her friends, leaving me confused and worried and…?
“Gaku… what… the hell did you just do?”
He shrugged, still holding my waist, and watched them walk away.
“I’m more worried by what she just did,” he mumbled, absently, fingers tightening on my hip. “I have never wanted to hit a woman so much in my life, before.” His voice was low, much like a growl. Not that I was really paying much attention, because, right then and there… I mean… they… he… she… what… gay? ME?
“They’re going to think-”
“So, You? Do you really care that much?” He asked, fixing me with a completely blunt look. I suppose I didn’t care, really. In fact, the arm around my waist felt better than the one that had been tangled in my hair and sliding down my chest.
I was annoyed, however. Annoyed and this was exactly what I had thought about, right in the beginning… right when Gackt had wandered up to my lonely table in the middle of the lunch hall, with only an apple in his hand and an amazing world - an amazing person - struggling behind him - inside himself. An amazing world, which I was now terrified of.
As soon as I glanced down at him, I shook my head and pulled away, wondering if he understood the concept of my pride, not his own. Maybe, he used to think I didn’t have any. Or, maybe, to him, this was all so simple. It wasn’t a complex little game it was straightforward and simple and just right. He didn’t care what they thought, and I didn’t think I did, either. I was wrong.
“You do care, then…” I heard him mumble, and ignored it.
We walked back to lesson in silence. I was walking faster than Gackt, ahead of him. I didn’t want to be close to him, when I was so annoyed, so, I ignored him. I came to realise that the one thing Gackt couldn’t take and it was exactly what I was doing.
We had art, and I still ignored him. In fact, I knew, at times, he was blatantly putting things in my line of vision, moving around so I could see exactly what he was doing just to get my attention. At times, Gaku even did something stupid, something out of character to the rest of the world, just to get me to smile, but, I didn’t respond. Every time he did something like that, my heart would beat quicker and I’d turn my head even further away. Gackt didn’t give up, though. By the end of the lesson, his shoulders were tense and he fidgeted beyond belief, jaw clenching and unclenching like he was ready to tear someone’s head off - honestly, I was surprised he hadn’t tried to do that me, by then.
When we left the art classroom, along with all the other students, he mumbled something about going off to the library storage room. I carried on to my lesson, history, slipping inside the room and situating myself near the back to be ignored by everyone else, like it used to be. I didn’t mind, really. It had been a while since I’d been so alone and I thought… it would probably do me some good. The nagging feeling that Gackt was in the library by himself wouldn’t leave, though, and, like a dog, loyal to the very bone, I lifted my hand, asked the teacher if I could leave for the toilets, and wandered off to the library.
After using the excuse to the librarian that I was getting material for a lesson, I stopped outside the storage room, looked around, and then sneaked inside. The lights were off, when they were usually on, and there was no light to go by.
“Gaku?” I mumbled, glancing at the walls I could barely see and let a hand trail along it, knowing I was somewhere in the middle of the dark, cramped room. I heard a shifting noise and froze. “Where are you?” I asked, walking around in a circle before sighing and leaning my back against the wall. I wasn’t about to spill my heart out, but I felt bad.
“I’m… I’m sorry…” I mumbled, suddenly glad that the lights weren’t on-he wouldn’t be able to see how nervous my actions were, or, how my face was burning.
“Why are you apologising? You were just telling the truth, weren’t you?” I heard him say, his voice portraying no emotion what-so-ever. I didn’t respond, even though what he was saying wasn’t true at all. I was lying to him and myself. My pride was in the way. “I’ve noticed, even though you think I haven’t. When I say ‘I love you’, or, when I hug you… you don’t respond, at all. Do you find it weird, awkward or… do you hate it? I want to know.
“Because, when I say it, when I do those things, I mean it.” I heard movement again, but still had no idea where he was, and it was a little unnerving. Eventually, when I didn’t answer, I felt a hand trail down my side and sit on my hip, like it had earlier. My heart started to beat quicker and I swallowed. It sounded loud to my own ears, deafening almost, in the silence. I felt a breath of air against my neck and I was sure I was going to have a fit, or a panic attack or something when I heard his voice again, “I trust you.”
It was around about that time, I realised that Gackt had dropped his pride for me; something… something that I didn’t want to be incapable of. It seemed like trust was a big issue to Gackt, too, like it was difficult, and it probably was. What with…
“You trust me…?” I mumbled quietly. It betrayed how I was feeling, inside.
“Yeah… Only you,” Gackt murmured in my ear and then both of his arms dragged up to my shoulders, slowly, lazily, as if he didn’t have any more energy. Pulling me against him, I automatically slid my arms around his back. I felt Gackt bury his head in my neck, breathing softly. I wondered, at the time, if he could feel or hear my heartbeat, but he didn’t say anything. As if it was the most normal thing in the world, he pulled his head back slightly, so his lips were just brushing my neck and said,
“Can I kiss you?”
I don’t know why I didn’t protest. Maybe, I was feeling bold because there were no lights on, or maybe it was because I was trying to force myself not to care…
Or maybe, I wanted him to, just to do it, just to try it and see, and feel, if this was all as right as my brain thought it was.
My head moved without me realising - I was nodding, and my heart was fiercely trying to jump out my throat when he moved back, slightly, one hand sliding from around my shoulders to brush the other side of my neck, his palm warm against my skin as it rested there. It was so slow, as he moved his other hand to cup my cheek, his fingers threading in my hair. I know I instinctively scrunched my eyes up, frowning, as if waiting for it to be over. When nothing happened, I opened my eyes, again.
What was Gackt thinking? What was he doing? When was he going to do it? What will it feel like? Will it feel bad? He’s a guy - is this wrong? Are we wrong? Should we be split up…? We’re not together. What if someone finds us?
I could almost make out his features, and his eyes were level with mine… I realised that he was standing on the tip of his toes, leaning his chest against mine for balance.
A small puff of air left through his nose, and he seemed satisfied. Just as I was feeling it was a bad idea, Gackt pushed his lips against mine…
Proving me wrong.
(1) Think Diabolos hairstyle. I don’t know why, but You looks amazingly cute and gorgeous and-- -stops self- with his hair pulled back. Okay, he always does, but that’s not the point. ._.’
Author: shiro_koomori
Rating: I'm not sure on the rating, anymore. So, ?
Pairing: Mainly You/Gackt, but also mentions Gackt/Masa, Chacha/You, Chacha/Ju-ken, Chacha/Ren, Chacha/EVERYONE? No. No, I'm kidding. X3
Summary: An AU school fanfic. Gackt moves into a new school and You's mind is thrown array with this eccentric, positively weird new student. First person. You's P.O.V.
Notes: Another longer chapter than the first few ones. Thank you, as always, for reading! I'm seriously glad you all like it. (^-^)
Chapter 5 - A Daily Dose of Confusion
I’d been sitting through almost half an hour of English, in a silent classroom and yes, I was starting to get bored. That didn’t mean I welcomed the incessant kicking I was getting to one of the legs of my chair, though. Sitting through that for only a few seconds was annoying enough, but when Gackt refused to stop because I’d been moping lately, and would only stop if I cheered up, that was when I kind of lost it. Remember, the classroom was silent. Not only that, but earlier my sister had been annoying the hell out of me at home because she’d managed to get Gackt’s number, and refused to give me the piece of paper it was written on. And then, I felt jealous, which lead to being annoyed because I felt jealous, which didn’t make sense. And then, the teacher kept making me answer every single question because he somehow knew I had no idea what he was talking about. I’d suffered enough kicks to my pride, and then I have Gackt annoying me, as well. I can’t be a nice guy, all the time.
“What, so if you’re pissed off, confused or angry, you’re allowed to mope and be silent and act like a prick-but, hey, You, no, You has to all happy twenty-four-seven? Is that right?” I hissed, and I felt everyone move, their gazes fixed on the two of us. I was turned in my seat, glaring at Gackt who had stopped kicking my chair to give me a bemused look. Then, shrugging, he glanced around the room leisurely, a foot tapping once on the leg, just to remind me or possibly just to annoy me, even more.
It’s not often I get angry enough to confront someone about it, or, take my frustration out on them, so, when I do… it’s usually a bit of a, “Wooaaahhhh…” moment, and that was exactly what I was experiencing, with the rest of the class turned to stare at me as if I’d grown an extra eye-a green eye, at that.
“Yeah, that’s right.” He declared, and once again, he looked normal to everyone else, cold emotions only, but I could hear and see the mocking tone in his voice and his eyes as they met mine. Thanks, Gackt. Thanks. I’m glad you enjoy mocking me in front of the rest of the class, but, please refrain from doing it again.
“… Oh.”
“Is there something wrong, You?” The teacher asked.
“Uh… no. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure, or, are you going to tell us the rest of your problems with Gackt in the middle of an English class?”
“No, Sir.”
“Good. Now, what’s the answer to…?”
Yes. Thank you, Gackt.
Some days, I could kill him, and it’s a wonder I’ve never told him he’s lucky that’s he’s as close to me as he is. Otherwise, I probably would of done something about it. Gackt found it hilarious, though, and, more than once, I heard a sniffing noise behind me. Knowing he was trying to stop himself from laughing didn’t help.
The next time Gackt decided to annoy me, I was totally unaware it was going to happen. I’d been standing minding my own business, when a group of girls had stalked up to me. Except, it wasn’t a bad stalk, they weren’t ready to start pounding me and neither were they gushing their love for me. They were interested in talking, which struck me as odd in the first place. Well, I eventually caught on that that wasn’t what they were after, at all, when one of them ran a hand through me dyed red-brown hair, which was in small, poufy, messy spikes (1), and slid a hand down my chest. That’s when I recognised this girl who was planning on… who knows what. Arisu Fukazawa. The last person on this planet I had expected to see that day.
“Uh…” Yes, I blushed. I don’t know why, but, as soon as that happened, Gackt appeared out of nowhere, as if he had some kind of ‘You-is-about-to-be-molested Radar™ Limited Edition’. A hand slid smoothly under my blazer, across the small of my back. I could feel the heat of the palm of his hand through the thin dress shirt we were made to wear as uniform as his fingers curled around my hip, tugging me strongly against a warm flank.
“I’m afraid he’s taken.” He mumbled hotly, and I glanced down at him in shock, seeing a cold glare on his face and his eyelids lowered, daring them. A few of them seemed confused and more-or-less disgusted. Arisu raised her thin eyebrows, not amused.
“’Taken’? And by whom?” She asked, a small smirk on her face.
“Me, obviously.” He stated, frowning.
“So, you’re gay, then? Well, it’s good to know that my pride can stay a little more intact, with the knowledge that I was turned down by a gayboy.” She murmured, a small hand resting on her hip, which jutted out to the side. Arisu was practically emitting arrogance, but Gackt could live up to it. I didn’t know whether he’d bite, or, stay on a reasonable level.
“We are who we are.” Gackt spoke clearly, making sure Arisu knew exactly where she stood in all of this. I was almost having a panic attack, right there, next to Gackt (when I say next to, I mean plastered to, because there was no space between us). What was he saying? What was she saying? I know I didn’t have much of a life before, but now, it’s totally ruined. You know that feeling of impending doom? At that time, I was experiencing a deathly dosage of it.
Maybe, she was smiling with an accomplished look, before leaning in close to me, lowering her long eyelashes. “You know, I’ve never noticed you before, but you’re actually pretty damn cute. Ask around, you’ll know where to find me.” After that, she moved slowly away, her gaze lingering on me before glancing quickly at Gackt, before she marched off with her friends, leaving me confused and worried and…?
“Gaku… what… the hell did you just do?”
He shrugged, still holding my waist, and watched them walk away.
“I’m more worried by what she just did,” he mumbled, absently, fingers tightening on my hip. “I have never wanted to hit a woman so much in my life, before.” His voice was low, much like a growl. Not that I was really paying much attention, because, right then and there… I mean… they… he… she… what… gay? ME?
“They’re going to think-”
“So, You? Do you really care that much?” He asked, fixing me with a completely blunt look. I suppose I didn’t care, really. In fact, the arm around my waist felt better than the one that had been tangled in my hair and sliding down my chest.
I was annoyed, however. Annoyed and this was exactly what I had thought about, right in the beginning… right when Gackt had wandered up to my lonely table in the middle of the lunch hall, with only an apple in his hand and an amazing world - an amazing person - struggling behind him - inside himself. An amazing world, which I was now terrified of.
As soon as I glanced down at him, I shook my head and pulled away, wondering if he understood the concept of my pride, not his own. Maybe, he used to think I didn’t have any. Or, maybe, to him, this was all so simple. It wasn’t a complex little game it was straightforward and simple and just right. He didn’t care what they thought, and I didn’t think I did, either. I was wrong.
“You do care, then…” I heard him mumble, and ignored it.
We walked back to lesson in silence. I was walking faster than Gackt, ahead of him. I didn’t want to be close to him, when I was so annoyed, so, I ignored him. I came to realise that the one thing Gackt couldn’t take and it was exactly what I was doing.
We had art, and I still ignored him. In fact, I knew, at times, he was blatantly putting things in my line of vision, moving around so I could see exactly what he was doing just to get my attention. At times, Gaku even did something stupid, something out of character to the rest of the world, just to get me to smile, but, I didn’t respond. Every time he did something like that, my heart would beat quicker and I’d turn my head even further away. Gackt didn’t give up, though. By the end of the lesson, his shoulders were tense and he fidgeted beyond belief, jaw clenching and unclenching like he was ready to tear someone’s head off - honestly, I was surprised he hadn’t tried to do that me, by then.
When we left the art classroom, along with all the other students, he mumbled something about going off to the library storage room. I carried on to my lesson, history, slipping inside the room and situating myself near the back to be ignored by everyone else, like it used to be. I didn’t mind, really. It had been a while since I’d been so alone and I thought… it would probably do me some good. The nagging feeling that Gackt was in the library by himself wouldn’t leave, though, and, like a dog, loyal to the very bone, I lifted my hand, asked the teacher if I could leave for the toilets, and wandered off to the library.
After using the excuse to the librarian that I was getting material for a lesson, I stopped outside the storage room, looked around, and then sneaked inside. The lights were off, when they were usually on, and there was no light to go by.
“Gaku?” I mumbled, glancing at the walls I could barely see and let a hand trail along it, knowing I was somewhere in the middle of the dark, cramped room. I heard a shifting noise and froze. “Where are you?” I asked, walking around in a circle before sighing and leaning my back against the wall. I wasn’t about to spill my heart out, but I felt bad.
“I’m… I’m sorry…” I mumbled, suddenly glad that the lights weren’t on-he wouldn’t be able to see how nervous my actions were, or, how my face was burning.
“Why are you apologising? You were just telling the truth, weren’t you?” I heard him say, his voice portraying no emotion what-so-ever. I didn’t respond, even though what he was saying wasn’t true at all. I was lying to him and myself. My pride was in the way. “I’ve noticed, even though you think I haven’t. When I say ‘I love you’, or, when I hug you… you don’t respond, at all. Do you find it weird, awkward or… do you hate it? I want to know.
“Because, when I say it, when I do those things, I mean it.” I heard movement again, but still had no idea where he was, and it was a little unnerving. Eventually, when I didn’t answer, I felt a hand trail down my side and sit on my hip, like it had earlier. My heart started to beat quicker and I swallowed. It sounded loud to my own ears, deafening almost, in the silence. I felt a breath of air against my neck and I was sure I was going to have a fit, or a panic attack or something when I heard his voice again, “I trust you.”
It was around about that time, I realised that Gackt had dropped his pride for me; something… something that I didn’t want to be incapable of. It seemed like trust was a big issue to Gackt, too, like it was difficult, and it probably was. What with…
“You trust me…?” I mumbled quietly. It betrayed how I was feeling, inside.
“Yeah… Only you,” Gackt murmured in my ear and then both of his arms dragged up to my shoulders, slowly, lazily, as if he didn’t have any more energy. Pulling me against him, I automatically slid my arms around his back. I felt Gackt bury his head in my neck, breathing softly. I wondered, at the time, if he could feel or hear my heartbeat, but he didn’t say anything. As if it was the most normal thing in the world, he pulled his head back slightly, so his lips were just brushing my neck and said,
“Can I kiss you?”
I don’t know why I didn’t protest. Maybe, I was feeling bold because there were no lights on, or maybe it was because I was trying to force myself not to care…
Or maybe, I wanted him to, just to do it, just to try it and see, and feel, if this was all as right as my brain thought it was.
My head moved without me realising - I was nodding, and my heart was fiercely trying to jump out my throat when he moved back, slightly, one hand sliding from around my shoulders to brush the other side of my neck, his palm warm against my skin as it rested there. It was so slow, as he moved his other hand to cup my cheek, his fingers threading in my hair. I know I instinctively scrunched my eyes up, frowning, as if waiting for it to be over. When nothing happened, I opened my eyes, again.
What was Gackt thinking? What was he doing? When was he going to do it? What will it feel like? Will it feel bad? He’s a guy - is this wrong? Are we wrong? Should we be split up…? We’re not together. What if someone finds us?
I could almost make out his features, and his eyes were level with mine… I realised that he was standing on the tip of his toes, leaning his chest against mine for balance.
A small puff of air left through his nose, and he seemed satisfied. Just as I was feeling it was a bad idea, Gackt pushed his lips against mine…
Proving me wrong.
(1) Think Diabolos hairstyle. I don’t know why, but You looks amazingly cute and gorgeous and-- -stops self- with his hair pulled back. Okay, he always does, but that’s not the point. ._.’