Unfinished C/A Fic.
So I started writing a post-Epiphany fic...wrote quite a lot of it infact, but since I've left it so long to update it, I don't even really rememeber where I was going with it and my fingers aren't flexing in its direction.
Just posting what I have so maybe someone could inspire me. ;o)
"You cant be serious, man."
Angel looked up at Gunn, his arms crossed defensively as he leaned against the door to Wesley's office, the weight in his heart a little lighter for having told his friends what was bothering him.
His best friend wasn't here but that was probably for the best - seeing how she was the subject of their discussion.
"I wouldn't joke about this." Angel replied gravely, looking Gunn right in the eye. "You know me better than that."
Gunn's eyes narrowed. "I thought I did..."
"Yes, alright." Wesley got out of his chair, coming around to the front of his desk and cutting off the argument before it started. "Angel, surely you understand how serious this is? And that nothing can ever come of it."
Angel's fists clenched, his heart mimicking the action. There was a twitch in his jaw as he swallowed. "I know."
Wesley sighed, removing his glasses. "For what it's worth, I don’t doubt your feelings or intentions for a moment. It's not like I hadn't seen this coming." He waited until Angel looked at him. "And I *am* sorry."
"Me too." Gunn said suddenly, drawing a surprised look from his friends. "It can’t be easy to love someone who hates you."
There it was. That horrible feeling, that punch in the gut, that kick in the teeth - whatever the hell they called it now-a-days. His chest hurt, his head and heart filled with nothing but *her* Every since his epiphany, Cordelia Chase had been running circles around Angel's mind, pulsing through his veins like a lifeline, making it *hurt* when she wasn't around him.
And it killed Angel that she didn't want to be.
---
The lobby was empty, slight murmurs coming from the ajar door to Wesley's office. Cordelia raised an eyebrow, dropping the bag with her change of clothes onto the orange settee and heading in their direction, the soft click of her heels sounding against the lobby floor.
By the time she reached the door she didn't even catch the tail-end of the conversation. There was a pause, and then Gunn began talking - stopping abruptly when she walked into the small office. All of them straightened, looking a little too flustered for Cordy's liking and she glared at them, cocking her head suspiciously.
"What's going on, guys?"
"Nothing." Angel said, a little too quickly for it to be even close to believable. Didn't he watch the movies? Hello! "We were just - "
"I said guys." Cordelia cut him off, turning her back on him and walking further into the office. "The last time I checked, you were telling me to look you up under 'vampire'."
Angel swallowed, pain flashing behind his eyes and she felt a thrill - swiftly followed by guilt.
She cleared her throat, ignoring Wesley's reprimanding look. "So?"
"We were talkin' about the case." Gunn said, bumping her with his hip. "Moon's a 15 degree crescent tonight, so this shape shifter demon should show."
"Riiight." Cordy rolled her eyes, unconvinced but willing to let it drop. "Am I bait girl again?"
"Always." Gunn winked at her.
---
"Do you really think teaming them up was a good idea?" Gunn asked sceptically as he walked beside Wesley, digging into his jacket for his wallet as they approached the entrance to the club. "They're probably at each other's throats."
"I'm sure they'll be fine." Wesley shrugged. "It's good for them to talk, get things out in the open and sorted."
He handed over the money to the bouncer who stamped a small square with lettering inside it onto each of their wrists, granting them entry.
"Now remember, when we get Angel's signal, we split up." Wesley ordered, just as the vibrant beat of the music reached their ears. "Look for his description and head out when he does."
"Gotcha." Gunn nodded, visibly wincing at the DJ's taste in music. "I can't wait to kill this son of a bitch..."
---
The silence stretched thin between them - too thin - and Angel found himself loosening his collar at the thick tension in the stench-filled air of the club's back alley, not to mention his hold on the handle of his favourite broadsword.
Cordelia wanted to kill him - he was sure of it. If the death glares and the cold shoulder hadn't given her away enough, she had chosen tonight to wear an outfit that made her look more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Of course, she was always beautiful, but tonight she wore a turquoise blue dress that flowed loosely around her perfect, long legs, swept in at the slim curve of her waist and draped loosely around her rear, the material pooling at the base of her tattoo and exposing her entire back.
He wanted her so very much he *hurt* with it, desire running hotly inside him on a leash, watching and waiting to pounce.
Cordelia appeared entirely disinterested in his thoughts or even his presence as she paced the width of the alley impatiently, her silver heels clicking against the rough ground. She blew a strand of hair out of her face, running her hands up and down her arms.
Angel shrugged out of his coat, holding it on the tip of his finger and out to her. "Here."
She shot him a curt look. "I'm fine."
"You're cold." Angel insisted, a little fed up with her behaviour. "Just take it."
Cordy took a step forward, hesitated, then simply reached out and took it, sliding it around her much smaller frame. Of course, Angel thought, this blocked his view...
"This doesn't mean we're friends." She said, turning her back and resuming her pacing.
Angel bit back his growl, curled his fingers into a fist and slammed it into his own side, anger now battling love and desire. He'd hurt her, abandoned her and he deserved this but GOD. Sometimes he just wanted grab her, maybe dig his fingers in a little, bend her over and -
He blinked, his eyes yellow and Cordelia must have noticed because she paused, staring at him. "Angel?"
He swallowed, calming himself, focussing on the brief concern that fluttered across her face. She was in his every thought, would have been in every beat of his heart had it worked - and he only had to look at her to know why.
She had been there; his seer, his friend, his saviour - his everything - and he had let her down, given her a reason to hate and distrust. He couldn't fault her anger, resent her bitchiness - his actions had called upon it and for that he could only blame himself.
Didn't mean her attitude hurt him any less.
"I'm fine." Angel said, pushing away from the wall and mirroring her pacing. "Just...impatient."
Cordelia frowned. "Hey, it's not like I want to be stuck here with you all night either." She rolled her eyes. "All part of the mission. But I guess you wouldn't know that, having been away from it for so long - "
"That's not what I meant." Angel cut her off with a warning glare. “And you know it.”
Cordy's eyes narrowed lethally. "How the hell would I know it?" She stepped closer to him, pointing an accusing finger and jabbing him in the chest with it. “Don’t you remember what I said? I don’t feel like I even know you anymore.”
“You do know me.” Angel blurted out, desperation suddenly drowning the anger inside him, swirling tumultuously at the look in Cordy’s eyes - that look of sheer indifference. “You know me better than anyone.”
“Oh please.” Cordelia rolled her eyes and turned her back on him again, crossing her arms. “The guy I knew wouldn’t have abandoned the people who cared about him, who risked their lives for him - ”
“I’m sorry.” Angel interrupted, unable to contain himself as he stepped forward and took a hold of her, his fingers cupping around her shoulders and turning her to face him. “I *am* sorry, you have to know that much about me.”
Cordy fought his hold, tried to pull back but he held on, his fingers digging into leather and then flesh - just as he’d wanted - and yet all he could think of was making this *right*.
“Get off me.” She struggled and Angel breathed her in, the scent of her, the hint of fevered emotion making him dizzy.
“Cordelia - ”
Something was off - something different…maybe she’d changed her perfume but the smell was too distinct, too different, and it only took him a moment before his mind caught up with his hypnotized body, recognising it for what it was.
Demon.
“Cordy - ” She went to slap him but he used the force of his body against her, pinning her hand between them and bringing her forward. Angel spun around, backing himself into the wall that retreated from the alley a few steps to his left, hiding them from the back door of the club. He looked down at Cordelia, her eyes fiery, desire clogging his throat. “Stop fighting me.”
She stilled then, as if reading his eyes - she had always been so good at reading his eyes - sagging defeatedly against him as she waited for him to tell her it was safe to move. Angel savoured the press of her body against his, leaning his head just slightly around the wall to keep watch.
A man emerged from the mouth of the alley, stepping into the shadows. Angel could see him as clear as day, his hair black and long, his eyes green. When he moved, they glinted in the moonlight, flashed as though there was something not quite human beneath his skin. A shine around his neck caught Angel’s attention and he reached for the mobile phone in his pocket.
“Watch the hands.” Cordelia grumbled, jerking when his fingers brushed against her abdomen. Angel patted his right pocket and pulled the phone out, flipping it open and pressing ‘2’ on his speed dial.
“Sorry.” He muttered, waiting for the sound of Wesley’s voice. “Wes, I see him. Black hair, green eyes, about 5’11. He’s wearing jeans and a black wifebeater with an open shirt on top. Some sort of thick silver pendant around his neck. Yeah, we’ll be waiting.” The phone clicked shut in his fingers and he glanced down at Cordy, noticing her looking at the back door.
Angel heard a soft bang and then she was out of his arms like a rocket, removing his coat and throwing it back at him.
“I don’t know who the HELL you think you are, Angel.” She was seething and he could picture the flush beneath her skin, the blood heated and pumping beneath her veins. He licked his lips. “But if you’re under the impression that you can just manhandle me and make everything better, you’re wrong!”
His body burned for her, yet rage took flight once again, his eyes the colour of amber. “I was trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me.” Cordy bit. “I’ve been doing just fine since your Darla-themed rejection.”
“What, like you did with those Skilosh demons last week?” Angel asked, his voice dripping with bitter sarcasm.
The look in Cordelia’s eyes could have cut him in half, her expression shocked and livid. It took her a second to compose herself before she responded, her body swaying with the extent of her fury. “You are *such* an asshole - ”
“Dammit Cordelia!” His growl must have startled her because she blinked, almost took a step back. “I know it’s going to take time for you to forgive me but I am *trying* to make-up for this.” He ran a hand through his hair, flexing his fingers in frustration. “It's like I can't win with you, no matter what I do! I hurt you and I hate myself for that but GOD, you gotta at least give me a chance to make it right - "
“I don’t have to do you any favours.” Her eyes glimmered in the darkness, emotions she had buried deep making her voice shake. "Just stay AWAY from me - "
“I can’t.” Angel’s hand shot out, latching onto her wrist and keeping her there when she would have walked away, her pulse racing beneath his fingers. “I can’t walk away from you again, Cordy.”
“Angel, let go of me.” He voice was deathly quiet and she refused to look at him, a tense silence following her command. Angel could hear the distant sounds around them - a cat screeching a few alleys down, the rhythmic drip of water down the pipe behind him...
He stared at Cordelia, her jaw hard and perfectly shaped in the moonlight, her skin soft, he imagined. He wanted to reach out and touch her, maybe hold her and *try* to make it all better.
“I said, let go me of me!” She screeched it this time, jerking her arm violently, though in vain. Angel’s grip was hard, firm and he yanked her forward and into him, trying to hold her still as she struggled. It was a similar position to the last and yet it seemed that she was closer, softer, more vulnerable.
The demon inside him fed on it, pulled her flush and against his solid front. The scent of arousal clung densely to the air and he wondered why he hadn’t sensed it sooner, her body throbbing hotly against his in anger and something more.
“Get off!” Cordelia spat, her voice hitching when his thumb brushed her jaw, resolution set in his eyes.
“No.”
“Angel - ”
His mouth crashed down onto hers, hands slipping around her back and neck, shutting her up. Angel kissed her hungrily, devoured her mouth inside the dark, dirty alleyway, his tongue slipping between her lips, licking the roof of her mouth.
Cordelia shoved both hands against his shoulders, struggling momentarily, though it may have been purely for effect because she gave in mere seconds later, her body relaxing against his and melting into the kiss, her hand combing through his hair where it had reached up to smack him.
Just posting what I have so maybe someone could inspire me. ;o)
"You cant be serious, man."
Angel looked up at Gunn, his arms crossed defensively as he leaned against the door to Wesley's office, the weight in his heart a little lighter for having told his friends what was bothering him.
His best friend wasn't here but that was probably for the best - seeing how she was the subject of their discussion.
"I wouldn't joke about this." Angel replied gravely, looking Gunn right in the eye. "You know me better than that."
Gunn's eyes narrowed. "I thought I did..."
"Yes, alright." Wesley got out of his chair, coming around to the front of his desk and cutting off the argument before it started. "Angel, surely you understand how serious this is? And that nothing can ever come of it."
Angel's fists clenched, his heart mimicking the action. There was a twitch in his jaw as he swallowed. "I know."
Wesley sighed, removing his glasses. "For what it's worth, I don’t doubt your feelings or intentions for a moment. It's not like I hadn't seen this coming." He waited until Angel looked at him. "And I *am* sorry."
"Me too." Gunn said suddenly, drawing a surprised look from his friends. "It can’t be easy to love someone who hates you."
There it was. That horrible feeling, that punch in the gut, that kick in the teeth - whatever the hell they called it now-a-days. His chest hurt, his head and heart filled with nothing but *her* Every since his epiphany, Cordelia Chase had been running circles around Angel's mind, pulsing through his veins like a lifeline, making it *hurt* when she wasn't around him.
And it killed Angel that she didn't want to be.
---
The lobby was empty, slight murmurs coming from the ajar door to Wesley's office. Cordelia raised an eyebrow, dropping the bag with her change of clothes onto the orange settee and heading in their direction, the soft click of her heels sounding against the lobby floor.
By the time she reached the door she didn't even catch the tail-end of the conversation. There was a pause, and then Gunn began talking - stopping abruptly when she walked into the small office. All of them straightened, looking a little too flustered for Cordy's liking and she glared at them, cocking her head suspiciously.
"What's going on, guys?"
"Nothing." Angel said, a little too quickly for it to be even close to believable. Didn't he watch the movies? Hello! "We were just - "
"I said guys." Cordelia cut him off, turning her back on him and walking further into the office. "The last time I checked, you were telling me to look you up under 'vampire'."
Angel swallowed, pain flashing behind his eyes and she felt a thrill - swiftly followed by guilt.
She cleared her throat, ignoring Wesley's reprimanding look. "So?"
"We were talkin' about the case." Gunn said, bumping her with his hip. "Moon's a 15 degree crescent tonight, so this shape shifter demon should show."
"Riiight." Cordy rolled her eyes, unconvinced but willing to let it drop. "Am I bait girl again?"
"Always." Gunn winked at her.
---
"Do you really think teaming them up was a good idea?" Gunn asked sceptically as he walked beside Wesley, digging into his jacket for his wallet as they approached the entrance to the club. "They're probably at each other's throats."
"I'm sure they'll be fine." Wesley shrugged. "It's good for them to talk, get things out in the open and sorted."
He handed over the money to the bouncer who stamped a small square with lettering inside it onto each of their wrists, granting them entry.
"Now remember, when we get Angel's signal, we split up." Wesley ordered, just as the vibrant beat of the music reached their ears. "Look for his description and head out when he does."
"Gotcha." Gunn nodded, visibly wincing at the DJ's taste in music. "I can't wait to kill this son of a bitch..."
---
The silence stretched thin between them - too thin - and Angel found himself loosening his collar at the thick tension in the stench-filled air of the club's back alley, not to mention his hold on the handle of his favourite broadsword.
Cordelia wanted to kill him - he was sure of it. If the death glares and the cold shoulder hadn't given her away enough, she had chosen tonight to wear an outfit that made her look more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Of course, she was always beautiful, but tonight she wore a turquoise blue dress that flowed loosely around her perfect, long legs, swept in at the slim curve of her waist and draped loosely around her rear, the material pooling at the base of her tattoo and exposing her entire back.
He wanted her so very much he *hurt* with it, desire running hotly inside him on a leash, watching and waiting to pounce.
Cordelia appeared entirely disinterested in his thoughts or even his presence as she paced the width of the alley impatiently, her silver heels clicking against the rough ground. She blew a strand of hair out of her face, running her hands up and down her arms.
Angel shrugged out of his coat, holding it on the tip of his finger and out to her. "Here."
She shot him a curt look. "I'm fine."
"You're cold." Angel insisted, a little fed up with her behaviour. "Just take it."
Cordy took a step forward, hesitated, then simply reached out and took it, sliding it around her much smaller frame. Of course, Angel thought, this blocked his view...
"This doesn't mean we're friends." She said, turning her back and resuming her pacing.
Angel bit back his growl, curled his fingers into a fist and slammed it into his own side, anger now battling love and desire. He'd hurt her, abandoned her and he deserved this but GOD. Sometimes he just wanted grab her, maybe dig his fingers in a little, bend her over and -
He blinked, his eyes yellow and Cordelia must have noticed because she paused, staring at him. "Angel?"
He swallowed, calming himself, focussing on the brief concern that fluttered across her face. She was in his every thought, would have been in every beat of his heart had it worked - and he only had to look at her to know why.
She had been there; his seer, his friend, his saviour - his everything - and he had let her down, given her a reason to hate and distrust. He couldn't fault her anger, resent her bitchiness - his actions had called upon it and for that he could only blame himself.
Didn't mean her attitude hurt him any less.
"I'm fine." Angel said, pushing away from the wall and mirroring her pacing. "Just...impatient."
Cordelia frowned. "Hey, it's not like I want to be stuck here with you all night either." She rolled her eyes. "All part of the mission. But I guess you wouldn't know that, having been away from it for so long - "
"That's not what I meant." Angel cut her off with a warning glare. “And you know it.”
Cordy's eyes narrowed lethally. "How the hell would I know it?" She stepped closer to him, pointing an accusing finger and jabbing him in the chest with it. “Don’t you remember what I said? I don’t feel like I even know you anymore.”
“You do know me.” Angel blurted out, desperation suddenly drowning the anger inside him, swirling tumultuously at the look in Cordy’s eyes - that look of sheer indifference. “You know me better than anyone.”
“Oh please.” Cordelia rolled her eyes and turned her back on him again, crossing her arms. “The guy I knew wouldn’t have abandoned the people who cared about him, who risked their lives for him - ”
“I’m sorry.” Angel interrupted, unable to contain himself as he stepped forward and took a hold of her, his fingers cupping around her shoulders and turning her to face him. “I *am* sorry, you have to know that much about me.”
Cordy fought his hold, tried to pull back but he held on, his fingers digging into leather and then flesh - just as he’d wanted - and yet all he could think of was making this *right*.
“Get off me.” She struggled and Angel breathed her in, the scent of her, the hint of fevered emotion making him dizzy.
“Cordelia - ”
Something was off - something different…maybe she’d changed her perfume but the smell was too distinct, too different, and it only took him a moment before his mind caught up with his hypnotized body, recognising it for what it was.
Demon.
“Cordy - ” She went to slap him but he used the force of his body against her, pinning her hand between them and bringing her forward. Angel spun around, backing himself into the wall that retreated from the alley a few steps to his left, hiding them from the back door of the club. He looked down at Cordelia, her eyes fiery, desire clogging his throat. “Stop fighting me.”
She stilled then, as if reading his eyes - she had always been so good at reading his eyes - sagging defeatedly against him as she waited for him to tell her it was safe to move. Angel savoured the press of her body against his, leaning his head just slightly around the wall to keep watch.
A man emerged from the mouth of the alley, stepping into the shadows. Angel could see him as clear as day, his hair black and long, his eyes green. When he moved, they glinted in the moonlight, flashed as though there was something not quite human beneath his skin. A shine around his neck caught Angel’s attention and he reached for the mobile phone in his pocket.
“Watch the hands.” Cordelia grumbled, jerking when his fingers brushed against her abdomen. Angel patted his right pocket and pulled the phone out, flipping it open and pressing ‘2’ on his speed dial.
“Sorry.” He muttered, waiting for the sound of Wesley’s voice. “Wes, I see him. Black hair, green eyes, about 5’11. He’s wearing jeans and a black wifebeater with an open shirt on top. Some sort of thick silver pendant around his neck. Yeah, we’ll be waiting.” The phone clicked shut in his fingers and he glanced down at Cordy, noticing her looking at the back door.
Angel heard a soft bang and then she was out of his arms like a rocket, removing his coat and throwing it back at him.
“I don’t know who the HELL you think you are, Angel.” She was seething and he could picture the flush beneath her skin, the blood heated and pumping beneath her veins. He licked his lips. “But if you’re under the impression that you can just manhandle me and make everything better, you’re wrong!”
His body burned for her, yet rage took flight once again, his eyes the colour of amber. “I was trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me.” Cordy bit. “I’ve been doing just fine since your Darla-themed rejection.”
“What, like you did with those Skilosh demons last week?” Angel asked, his voice dripping with bitter sarcasm.
The look in Cordelia’s eyes could have cut him in half, her expression shocked and livid. It took her a second to compose herself before she responded, her body swaying with the extent of her fury. “You are *such* an asshole - ”
“Dammit Cordelia!” His growl must have startled her because she blinked, almost took a step back. “I know it’s going to take time for you to forgive me but I am *trying* to make-up for this.” He ran a hand through his hair, flexing his fingers in frustration. “It's like I can't win with you, no matter what I do! I hurt you and I hate myself for that but GOD, you gotta at least give me a chance to make it right - "
“I don’t have to do you any favours.” Her eyes glimmered in the darkness, emotions she had buried deep making her voice shake. "Just stay AWAY from me - "
“I can’t.” Angel’s hand shot out, latching onto her wrist and keeping her there when she would have walked away, her pulse racing beneath his fingers. “I can’t walk away from you again, Cordy.”
“Angel, let go of me.” He voice was deathly quiet and she refused to look at him, a tense silence following her command. Angel could hear the distant sounds around them - a cat screeching a few alleys down, the rhythmic drip of water down the pipe behind him...
He stared at Cordelia, her jaw hard and perfectly shaped in the moonlight, her skin soft, he imagined. He wanted to reach out and touch her, maybe hold her and *try* to make it all better.
“I said, let go me of me!” She screeched it this time, jerking her arm violently, though in vain. Angel’s grip was hard, firm and he yanked her forward and into him, trying to hold her still as she struggled. It was a similar position to the last and yet it seemed that she was closer, softer, more vulnerable.
The demon inside him fed on it, pulled her flush and against his solid front. The scent of arousal clung densely to the air and he wondered why he hadn’t sensed it sooner, her body throbbing hotly against his in anger and something more.
“Get off!” Cordelia spat, her voice hitching when his thumb brushed her jaw, resolution set in his eyes.
“No.”
“Angel - ”
His mouth crashed down onto hers, hands slipping around her back and neck, shutting her up. Angel kissed her hungrily, devoured her mouth inside the dark, dirty alleyway, his tongue slipping between her lips, licking the roof of her mouth.
Cordelia shoved both hands against his shoulders, struggling momentarily, though it may have been purely for effect because she gave in mere seconds later, her body relaxing against his and melting into the kiss, her hand combing through his hair where it had reached up to smack him.