the countdown
I JUST HATE THE PHRASE... RELAX.. LET IT GO.. GIVE IT A BREAK... I DONT KNOW HOW....
I have work to worry about and a wedding that is approaching and now my parents also... this is supposed to be a happy so happy moment and I am not enjoying any of it.. I am worried about all the money I dont have to pay for it and the so little time left so everything fits together and how to keep the people happy, together and work and how well am I doing being my first time and the help I dont seem to find and the things i leave for after are going to catch up with me.. and my parents not talking and life is just getting complicated and the only one who can calm me down is just not listening and making me even more angry at the world... i need to feel comforted and i feel regret and impatience who the hell tells the future wife to grow up when i try to explain why am i mad and sad...
Where did my patience go to.. I am sad and scared about our life together and if it is going to work or if it is worth it. How little time do I have with myself and how much I left everyone for my new so called life..
How grown up am I supposed to act if I feel like a little girl on its first day of school when I just don't know anything...
So here it is me complaining and at the same time taking it all out.. the patience I am supposed to bring to my marriage and the work everyone says it is going to take.. I don't feel like i am there yet.. at that point where it is ok to exhale..
My head hurts.. my heart.. and life is insane and I worry so much and i can't help it...
So there it is... GOD BRING ME A LITTLE HOPE.. THE LIGHT
I have work to worry about and a wedding that is approaching and now my parents also... this is supposed to be a happy so happy moment and I am not enjoying any of it.. I am worried about all the money I dont have to pay for it and the so little time left so everything fits together and how to keep the people happy, together and work and how well am I doing being my first time and the help I dont seem to find and the things i leave for after are going to catch up with me.. and my parents not talking and life is just getting complicated and the only one who can calm me down is just not listening and making me even more angry at the world... i need to feel comforted and i feel regret and impatience who the hell tells the future wife to grow up when i try to explain why am i mad and sad...
Where did my patience go to.. I am sad and scared about our life together and if it is going to work or if it is worth it. How little time do I have with myself and how much I left everyone for my new so called life..
How grown up am I supposed to act if I feel like a little girl on its first day of school when I just don't know anything...
So here it is me complaining and at the same time taking it all out.. the patience I am supposed to bring to my marriage and the work everyone says it is going to take.. I don't feel like i am there yet.. at that point where it is ok to exhale..
My head hurts.. my heart.. and life is insane and I worry so much and i can't help it...
So there it is... GOD BRING ME A LITTLE HOPE.. THE LIGHT