Starting From Zero, Got Nothing To Lose (8/?)
Title: Starting From Zero, Got Nothing To Lose (8/?)
Author: softshinythings
Rating: PG13
Genre/Pairing(s): AU!high school/college, Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel
Wordcount: ~5700 (this part, ~36,800 total)
Warnings: Alcohol abuse (parent), general angst
Disclaimer: Oh, but I can dream of what I would do with these characters if they actually belonged to me. Sadly, they’re just dreams, the Kripster gets the credit.
Summary: Part 8 of the Fast Car ‘Verse. When John insisted that Dean was to attend college, Dean drove halfway across the country with his best friend Cas in tow. But when Sam finds that he can’t handle the way John is without his eldest around, he finds solace in Cas’ brother, who doesn’t ask questions but always offers an escape route.
A/N: I am legitimately still riding off of the high I got from writing the Sam/Gabriel in the last chapter. Methinks some Dean/Cas is in order for this one. But with a healthy dose of Sam/Gabriel as well. Mhmm.
~
And I had a feeling that I belonged,
And I had a feeling I could be someone.
“Please stop pacing.”
“I’ll stop pacing when Gabe stops being a tool and gets here already.”
“No, I’m giving you permission to stop pacing.” Cas squinted down from their balcony at the parking lot. Sure enough, even from seven floors up, there was no mistaking the bright cherry finish of the Mustang pulling into the closest available space. “Unless someone else in the L.A. area has purchased a car of that shade, which is highly unlikely, then they’ve just pulled in.”
Dean bolted over to Cas’ side, leaning so far over the edge that Cas gripped the back of his shirt out of fear that he’d fling himself over the side and give their brothers a welcome they’d likely never forget. He watched as Sam and Gabriel stepped out of the car, pulled their bags from the back seat, and made a beeline for the front door. Dean ripped himself from Cas’ grasp and ran to the phone, knocking it off its cradle the moment it started buzzing. He jammed the call button to open the main doors, then went to prop himself up by their open front door.
It was all Cas could do to catch him by the shoulders as he nearly beheaded himself tripping over the rug.
~
Arriving in California was pretty much what the both of them had expected: completely and utterly backwards. They hadn’t been over the border for a full minute before Gabriel’s low whistle and customary “We’re not in Kansas anymore, kiddo,” costing Sam the five dollars he’d bet Dean months ago when they’d casually talked about them going to visit him and Cas at school. It wasn’t as though they’d expected pristine beaches and scantily-clad girls from the moment they left Arizona, but all the same, it was as if the very air around them shifted.
Waking up that morning was something Sam had silently been dreading. He was completely convinced that he’ll roll out of bed to find Gabriel sitting up, speech prepared, outlining every way that he’d been in the wrong the night before, how he shouldn’t take advantage of Sam when he was just a kid, how it would be best if they just pretended it had never happened. It was with these thoughts rushing through his head that he slowly turned over and cracked an eye open.
To his surprise, though, Gabriel was still unconscious. He slept like he lived, completely gracelessly and with wild abandon. The covers had been kicked off at some point during the night, his arms and legs essentially spread to each corner of the bed, though not necessarily the corresponding ones, pillows were strewn anywhere between his head and his feet, and his mouth hung open. Sam found it so horribly adorable that he felt a bit ashamed for staring. He quietly rose and tiptoed to the bathroom, wanting to grab a shower before they headed out. It was seven o’clock, not outrageously early, but they both wanted to get a decent head-start on the day, since they were so close.
The shower gave Sam a solid ten minutes to reflect on the previous night. Gabriel had said goodnight to him with a soft smile and a lingering hand on his jaw, as though he was unsure of how he should be acting. But he certainly hadn’t rejected Sam’s advances outright, which, to be honest, was the exact opposite of what had flashed through his mind as he was moving in for the kiss. The fact that he’d touched Sam, that he had told him to actually think about whether he wanted this, or if he was just getting confused, spoke volumes of how very much Gabriel cared for him. He knew that he had crossed a major line, but for some reason, now that he’d rested and was able to think clearly, he realized that it didn’t feel as if he’d been in the wrong. On the contrary, it felt as though he’d done something that had been scratching away at the inside of his skull for a long time, and he’d just suppressed it unconsciously.
Once Gabriel woke up, however, Sam would have a better chance to gauge his reaction now that he too had slept on it. If he woke up and said that he thought it wouldn’t be appropriate, all Sam could do would be to smile and accept it. He wouldn’t sulk, he wouldn’t throw a fit, he would just have to take whatever Gabe could give him and be grateful that he wasn’t hitchhiking the rest of the way.
It was with these expectations that he numbly hung his towels up and steeled himself to walk back out. He inched the doorknob open and stepped out.
Gabriel was just waking up, blinking blearily at his phone, obviously trying to see the time. Light was just beginning to sneak under the blinds on the windows, casting a sharp and entirely unnecessary relief over the room and everything in it. Gabriel looked as Sam walked out of the bathroom, rubbing one eye roughly.
“Hey there, kiddo. Get a decent night’s sleep?” His voice was gravelly, still trying to catch up with the rest of him. He sat upright and ran a hand through his hair, turning it into what was undoubtably the worst rendition of a bird’s nest Sam had ever seen.
“Uh ... yeah, decent, I guess.” Sam went over to his bag and dropped his flannel sleep pants and shirt into it, zipping it closed. He could feel Gabriel watching him, but just wasn’t ready for the rejection yet. There was the sound of Gabriel shifting out of bed and padding over to him. He pressed his eyes closed, letting the panic sweep throughout him for just a second, before turning around.
Gabriel was standing not a foot away from him, eyes slightly unfocused as he broke away from sleep, but still intent on Sam. It was like Sam could feel his insides clenching, afraid of what was coming next. But Gabriel had always been able to surprise him.
He lifted a hand and rested it where Sam’s neck met his shoulder, thumb lightly brushing his collarbone. His eyes followed his movement before looking back up at Sam, who couldn’t seem to remember how to blink. “How’re you really doing?”
Sam cleared his throat, looking above Gabriel’s head. “Honestly? Waiting for you to tell me what a moron I am.”
Gabriel brought his other hand up to Sam’s neck, gently tilting his head towards him. “Hey. I meant what I said, okay?” He smiled gently. “Get back to me once you’re sure. I’m not gonna go anywhere until you make a decision.”
Sam pursed his lips, ready to blurt out everything he’d thought in the shower, how he didn’t want to put Gabriel in a spot where he didn’t feel comfortable, how he wanted nothing more than for him to just stay with him, even if it meant never acting on his feelings again. But Gabriel just raised his eyebrows.
“But not yet. Let’s have breakfast, get to Cas and Dean’s, settle in, and then ...” He dropped his hands to Sam’s arms, rubbing them gently. “Then ... yeah.”
A smile snuck its way up on Sam. Gabriel simply leaned forward, pressed his lips gently to Sam’s forehead, and pulled away, moving to retrieve whatever possessions had been sprawled around his bed since the night before and throwing them into his duffel bag. “So. Pancakes or waffles this morning?”
Sam rolled his eyes, flipping his covers back to make sure he hadn’t dropped his phone there or anything. “I’m kinda ready for a big bowl of fruit, to be honest.”
There was a snort from the floor as Gabriel fished his phone charger from the plug behind the bed. “Pshhht. Lightweight. I’ll just have to double up to make up the difference.”
Sam grinned, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Gabriel wasn’t rejecting him. He was still offering Sam a chance to get out if he wanted, but he was also giving him every opportunity to act on his feelings. Things weren’t awkward. They were going to get breakfast, drive a couple hours, get to California, see Dean, see Cas.
This was so much better than he’d been thinking the morning would go down.
~
“Well, this is ... industrial.”
The apartment building was ... blocky, to put it best. It wasn’t run-down or dirty, just made completely of concrete and brick, giving it a distinctly brutalist-period feel. Gabriel had just rolled his eyes and muttered something about ‘art history buffs’ when Sam had mentioned it. They stepped out of the car, pulling their bags with them, looking around. It was about 12 storeys high, larger than most of the ones around Hanover, but set apart from the general hustle and bustle of the main road. Sam set his shoulders and aimed for the door, Gabriel half a step behind him.
Inside the main entrance was a long list of tenants and their corresponding access codes. Sam ran a finger down the list, finally reaching ‘Winchester/Novak - 703.’ He punched the number into the keypad, heard it ring once, tw- then a loud buzz, and the door popped open. Gabriel just shrugged, moving past Sam and pushing the elevator button.
“Look ...” Sam shifted uncomfortably, pressing the ‘7’ button inside and watching the doors slide closed. “... Maybe it would be best to ... hold off on mentioning any of ... this ...” He gestured between himself and Gabriel with a flapping hand. “ ... To Dean. Just yet.”
Gabriel smirked. “With you 110%. Seventh floor? That’s a long drop, but not a move I’d put past your brother in a moment of protective anger.” He reached over for Sam’s hand, tangling their fingers together and giving it a squeeze. Sam’s stomach rose and fell, reveling in the feel of Gabriel’s hand on his, tightening his grip to keep him there just a moment longer. Much too quickly they reached the seventh floor, the doors sliding open with a ding. Gabriel lifted their hands, gave Sam’s hand a quick brush of his lips, and gently let go. Sam regretted the sudden loss of warmth, but all the same, he couldn’t help but dwell on the mental image of Dean flinging Gabriel over his shoulder and into the air on the wrong side of their balcony, and he didn’t feel so bad.
Seven-oh-three was around the corner near the end of the hall, but there was no mistaking it, seeing as Dean was pacing outside of their open door, Cas leaning against the frame. They rounded the corner, catching Dean’s eye as he heard footsteps. There was a full two seconds where Dean just looked at them, before breaking out of it and essentially jogging down the length of the hall. He gripped Sam’s shoulders and pulled him roughly into a bone-crushing hug, fisting the material of Sam’s shirt against his back. Sam closed his eyes and buried his face into Dean’s neck, clinging to him. He heard Gabriel brush past them to greet Cas, but couldn’t look up. He just wanted to let Dean carry the weight, even for just a second. He didn’t care that they were in the hallway, that his duffel bag was digging painfully into his ribs. All he wanted was to have a few moments where his big brother took care of him, and he let it happen.
“Ah, Sammy ...” Dean’s voice was muffled and rough. He tightened his hold on Sam. “Man, it’s been a long couple of days.”
Sam tried to respond, but his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed thickly and tried again. “Yeah ... yeah, it has.”
Dean gave him one last squeeze before pulling back. He saw that Sam’s eyes shined in the same way he suspected his own did, but he just gave him a blinding smile and grabbing his bag from his shoulders. “C’mon, I’ll show you our crib.”
Sam laughed. “Does Cas know that you guys have a ‘crib’?”
“Oh course he does,” Dean said, throwing the bag over his shoulder and turning back towards the apartment, “it’s where he brings his bitches at the end of the day.”
Sam burst out laughing as he followed Dean in. He was surprised at the size of the place; he’d heard horror stories about the closets that some students called home when they went off to school, but this was ... big. It wasn’t lavish or anything, but the living room was large enough for their two sofas and an arm chair, there was a dining area just off the kitchen, and from the looks of it, the bedrooms were bigger than the one Sam had back home.
“Whoa. What mob boss did you have to befriend to get a place this size?” Sam poked his head into the bathroom, checking out the full tub and large sink. Cas chuckled from the living room.
“We were simply asking the right people at the right time. The previous tenants were graduating students, and we happened to be the first ones to respond to their ad online.” He took Gabriel’s bag and flung it onto the couch. “We like the extra room. Dean prefers to hang his laundry on a clothesline right here in the living room rather than risk the dryers downstairs.”
“Hey,” Dean said, pointing a finger at Cas, “that friggin’ machine ate my Zeppelin shirt, I’m not trusting it with anything else.”
“What the hell is this?!” Glee leaked from Gabriel’s voice as he leaped into the kitchen and began fondling what Sam assumed to be an espresso machine. Cas sighed.
“It’s a Tassimo, Gabriel. Our own parents bought it for us as a house-warming gift a year ago.” He slapped Gabe’s hand away as he fiddled with a knob, sending a puff of steam into his face and grinning like it was Christmas. “No. Leave it alone. It’s not a toy.” Gabriel ignored him and flipped a switch, letting out a shriek of glee as a stream of hot water began to pour into the grate receptacle. Cas rolled his eyes, gathered both of his brother’s hands in one of his own, and forcibly walked him over to the sofa. Gabe just beamed at him and spread his arms across the back of the sofa, leaning back.
“Gotta say, these are some nice digs.” He glanced around the room, eyes sharp but curious. “It’s very ... clean.”
“And you expected different?” Dean led Sam into the room and flung himself onto the other couch, legs splayed carelessly out across Cas’ lap. Cas just frowned down at them, but didn’t move them.
“I was expecting to find evidence of two male students living together for a year. This place looks like you Windexed it halfway to Tennessee.” He gazed at the windows. “Not that it’s a bad thing, though. Impressive, really.”
Sam dropped onto the sofa beside Gabriel, leaving a decent amount of space between them. His heart faltered dangerously when he felt Gabriel’s fingers, resting somewhere behind his head, lightly grasp a bit of hair and aimlessly twirl it around his finger. He couldn’t react, not with Dean and Cas sitting right across from them, but he let himself relax even further.
They talked about everything. Dean wanted to know about every diner they’d stopped at, and Gabriel was more than willing to divulge each meal with incredible detail. Cas just pursed his lips and rested his hands thoughtlessly on Dean’s legs. Sam couldn’t help but notice the way that Dean had placed himself like that, and a flash went across his mind, unbidden, about why Dean would do that. But it was gone just as quickly, replaced with the knowledge that even as the four of them laughed and talked about the drive over, Gabriel still fidgeted with that piece of hair, allowing it to wind around his finger before letting it go, working the curl out of it before repeating the action. It soothed Sam, who, in the back of his mind, was dreading the moment that Dean would want to know about their father, would want some details as to why he’d driven with Gabriel across half the continent. He just didn’t feel ready for it. But on some level, he believed that Dean understood, instead asking whether Sam had found anything raunchy in the motel rooms they’d stopped at.
By the time noon rolled around, they were all splayed out across the furniture, stomachs beginning to growl. Cas gently extricated himself from Dean’s legs and stood up. “We stocked up on food, if you would like something.”
Gabriel lowered his hands and rubbed them together. “Oh, but those are the magic words, little bro. Lead the way.” He winked at Sam and stood up, ruffling Dean’s hair as he walked by, ignoring Dean’s complaints.
Sam watched his brother, feeling completely and wholly relieved to be with him. Dean flattened his hair and frowned, but his eyes were still sparkling. He looked at Sam for a moment, tilting his head slightly as if to get a better look at him.
“You seem okay, Sammy.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I was kinda expecting to have Gabe bring you up the elevator in bits and pieces, but ...” He smiled. “I dunno.”
Sam leaned his head back, absently staring at the ceiling. “I’m ... doing alright.” He looked back at Dean. “I wasn’t, for a while there, but ... Gabriel’s helped, y’know? Kept my head on straight.”
“Yeah, well, the guy may have the antics of a five-year-old half the time, but when it matters, he knows what to do.” Dean stood up, straightening his shirt. “C’mon, let’s go dump your stuff, you’re bunking with me.”
~
“So.” Gabriel leaned himself against the countertop, purposely blocking the way to the plates and glasses. Castiel rolled his eyes and went to reach around him, but he stood his ground.
“What.”
Gabriel wagged a finger at him, smiling widely. “So? You’re in love with Dean Winchester.”
Cas’ eyes widened and he spun around, checking to see whether they’d been overheard, but he could hear Sam and Dean fumbling around in Dean’s room, probably unloading Sam’s things. He turned back to Gabe, who was grinning from ear to ear by now. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Move.”
“No, y’see,” Gabriel said, putting a hand to his chin ponderously and staring off into the middle distance, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” His eyes snapped back to Cas, whose face was doing an excellent impression of a pissed-off hawk. “How long have you let him use you as a footrest?”
Cas felt his face flush, and he reached behind Gabriel’s head to pull the cupboard open, knocking the back of Gabe’s head with no small amount of force. He felt a grim sense of pleasure as he grasped the back of his head, swearing loudly. Cas collected the dishes and glasses he needed and pushed the door shut. “He is not using me as furniture.”
Gabriel squinted at him through watering eyes, rubbing the back of his head, before stilling his motions. He straightened up, mouth agape. “Oh, baby brother.”
Cas roughly put the sandwiches onto a single plate, stacked it on top of the others, and grabbed a bag of chips, avoiding Gabriel’s stare.
“Oh don’t tell me you didn’t know.” Gabriel wormed his way under Cas’ arm, standing between him and the plates. Cas sighed and pulled the chip bag open, pouring them into a large bowl. Gabriel just followed his movements, purposely putting himself in the way at every opportunity. “But you must’ve realized that you two’ve got some sort of domestic Disneyland going on here.”
“My feelings for Dean are not in question right now,” Cas growled quietly, pulling sodas out of the fridge and shoving them into Gabriel’s chest, forcing him to catch them before they exploded on the floor. “Whatever they may be, I hardly think that discussing them at length would be inappropriate right now, as his father nearly hit Sam with a bottle of booze. That takes priority.” He balanced the chip bowl on top of Gabe’s sodas before grabbing the sandwiches and glasses and making his way into the living room. Gabriel could only watch him with a stunned look on his face.
“Guys, lunch is ready,” Cas called, spreading the plates out over the coffee table. Gabriel came up behind him, depositing the drinks and chips onto the table.”
“Cas ...” he said lowly, hearing Sam and Dean start making their way back to the living room. Cas just turned quickly to him.
“Don’t, Gabriel.” They stared at each other for a long moment before Cas sat back down on the sofa, pulling a turkey sandwich onto his plate and grabbing a handful of chips. Gabe just heaved a sigh and threw himself on the opposite couch.
“Must run in the family,” he mumbled, feeling Cas’ gaze snap up to him for the briefest of moments before Dean walked in, threw himself on the sandwiches and began inhaling.
~
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Gabriel had been overjoyed to hear that he was sleeping on the pull-out sofa, and had begun throwing cushions off and unseating Sam to check it out before Cas had jumped up and yelled that they needed to move the coffee table out of the way, giving a herculean tug and pulling it out of harm’s way moments before Gabriel heaved the bed out of its confines and let it fall open with a great sigh of satisfaction. Dean had just pinched the bridge of his nose and helped Sam up off the floor, where he was howling with laughter.
Cas spent a solid hour showing Sam his course texts, telling him about his English lectures and his philosophy seminars. Sam’s eyes had grown wide and intrigued as he heard about how students were encouraged to debate their opinions and defend their papers. Dean, less enthused about schoolwork during the summer, showed Gabriel how to properly work the Tassimo, sneaking glances behind him for fear that Cas would swoop in and castrate them both for touching his precious. Gabriel had practically glowed when the dark, steaming liquid poured from the spout into the tiny cup, and had downed it in a single gulp as Dean snorted behind his hand at the face he pulled when the temperature caught up to him.
By nightfall, they were all growing hungry again. Cas poked around the refrigerator, but heaved a sigh. “Anyone feel like having take-out?”
“God yes.” Gabriel flopped backwards on the sofa, his head landing dangerously close to Dean’s crotch. He recoiled in anticipation, trying to move away, but Gabriel had him pinned. “I’m thinking pizza.”
“Dude! So not willing to get nailed in the important bits.” Dean shoved him and got up to grab a menu, ignoring Gabriel’s bark of laughter. He flipped through his favourite one, finding the selection page. “Alright. Howsabout a hawaiian for Sam and Cas, and a stuffed-crust pepperoni for the men?”
Sam threw a couch cushion at him, which he dodged lightly, grabbing his cell, keying in the delivery number and placing his order. He ended the call and turned around to find Gabriel and Cas staring intently at each other, some sort of silent battle being waged. He looked at Sam, who shrugged his shoulders in bafflement, and quirked an eyebrow.
“You two gents want to borrow the dueling pistols? They’re a bit out of practice, but hurt like a bitch if you have to throw them in a pinch.” Dean tossed the menu back onto the table and went to sit beside Cas, who broke eye contact first and looked down at his hands.
“That will not be necessary,” Cas said, smiling idly at Dean. “Besides, those are only for when I’m defending my honour, not trying to murder my brother.”
“Okay. Awkward.” Dean turned to Gabe and Sam. “So who’s being volun-told to come with me to pick up the grub? Deal is that I drive, someone else picks up.”
“Oh, what, not able to handle two pizza boxes?” Gabriel smirked widely and dodged the pen Dean flung at him. “Take Cas. I promise not to burn down the apartment in the ten minutes you’ll be gone.” He raised two fingers in the air, putting the other hand on his heart. “Scout’s honour.”
“You were never a scout, they kicked you out after you nearly pushed that kid in the fire pit,” Dean said. He checked his watch, saw they had fifteen minutes before the ‘guarantee or it’s free’ deadline. “Mind if we head out a bit early? Wanted to pick up some ice cream around the corner for dessert.”
“Now what kind of idiotic question is that?” Gabriel said, grabbing Dean’s keys off the coffee table and winging them at his head. “If ice cream’s involved, the question need not be asked. Go like the wind, young ones.”
Dean rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the couch. “Alright, well, I’m entrusting you with Sam. You managed to keep him alive for two days, I think you’ll be able to handle twenty more minutes.”
“I’m sure I can,” Gabriel said, tossing Cas’ wallet at him from the table. He caught it centimeters from his face, glaring at Gabe, who just smiled innocently. “G’won. See you in a few, little bro.”
He just scowled as he put his shoes on and followed Dean out the front door, closing it firmly. Gabriel let out a breath and leaned against the armrest of the sofa, facing Sam. “Now that is a drama queen.” He twiddled his thumbs. “You glad we’re here, kiddo?”
Sam smiled, pulling his feet on the ground and resting them on the edge of the couch. “I really, really am.” He looked around. “They seem to be pretty happy, don’t they?”
“Oh, I’d say they’re happy,” Gabriel said, reaching for his bag of M&Ms and popping a few into his mouth. Sam watched his movements, not saying anything for a moment. Gabriel nudged him with his feet.
“What’s going on in that big ol’ brain of yours?” He threw a couple more candies back before setting the bag aside, chewing thoughtfully. Sam ran a hand through his hair and gave a gentle sigh.
“I’ve thought about ... it.” He felt his heart rate climb, his fingertips growing numb. Gabriel stilled beside him, focusing completely on him. Sam turned, eyes boring into Gabriel’s. “I want it. I know that ... that it might be kinda complicated at first, or - or that you might feel that I’m too young, or ... I don’t know. But ...” He hesitantly rested a hand on Gabriel’s knee, the first thing he came to directly attached to him. “But ... I want to, Gabriel. More than anything.”
His words hung in the air between them, and Sam couldn’t help but notice how completely gold Gabriel’s eyes were at that moment. It was just a tiny detail, but the light from the lamp was hitting his face at exactly the right angle. Gabriel blinked, looking down at where Sam held his knee. “You have no idea how glad I am that you said that.”
Sam tightened his grip slightly on Gabriel’s leg, hope rising in his chest. Gabriel let out a tiny huff of a laugh. “I mean, you could’ve said you’d made a mistake, and I would’ve completely, totally respected that but ...” He looked back up at Sam’s face. “... This is good.” He smiled. “I want this too.”
Sam pushed himself up and leaned towards Gabriel. He shifted his legs so they were on either side of Gabriel’s own, loving the way that Gabriel’s hands lifted to rest gently on his hips. He couldn’t help but grin, watching as Gabe’s gaze drifted from his hairline down to his lips, then back up to his eyes.
“Sam Winchester,” Gabriel said, voice sarcastic, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were about to take advantage of me.”
It was with the grin still on his lips that Sam closed the distance between them, gently taking Gabriel’s lips with his own. Gabriel gave a soft sigh that Sam inhaled, gently resting a hand against his neck.
It felt right.
~
“Okay, two tubs of Chunky Monkey and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough. We’re set.” Dean swung his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the Impala, moving to the rear door to dump their purchases on the back seat. Cas was two steps behind him, stuffing the change into his pocket.
Dean put the plastic bag on the seat and backed up, closing the car door, and made to move around to the driver’s side, but found his way inexplicably blocked by an unmovable Castiel. “Dude. I can’t walk through you.” He caught Cas’ eyes, which were wide and determined. It set off alarms in Dean’s head. “Cas?”
There was a fluidity with which Cas slowly backed Dean up against the car, crowded his personal space, before slowly gripping his shoulder and pressing his lips to Dean’s. It was all Dean could do to open his eyes wide and make a tiny muffled sound in the back of his throat. Sure, it was dark, but they were still in a parking lot, and it wasn’t exactly private. Cas just as calmly broke the kiss, leaning away from Dean but not letting him move away.
“Gabriel would not let me have peace until I agreed to make my intentions known to you,” Cas said, voice no different than if he were reciting the grocery list. “I have done that.”
Dean moved his mouth, unable to make words for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d say you have.”
Cas just watched him, eyes slowly turning sad. He moved to back away. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. We should get back to Sam and Gabri -”
“Whoa, hold up there, soldier.” Dean gripped his shirt, just staring at him for a moment. Cas’ face only registered regret, positive that he’d ruined what had been the perfect friendship. It broke Dean’s heart.
He reached behind himself, yanked the passenger-side door open, and guided Cas inside before slamming the door closed and booking it around to the driver’s side. Cas just sat there, frowning, as Dean flung himself in and closed the door behind him.
“Dean, I don’t -”
“What, you think I wanted to continue that out where Mr Happy-One-Stop cashier man could see for himself?” Dean grinned wildly. “No thanks.” He leaned across the seat, once again glad for the bench seats, and took Cas’ mouth with his own. There was a split second when Cas was frozen, as if unsure that it was actually happening or whether he was just imagining things, but the moment passed, and it quickly passed, and he eagerly pressed back into Dean.
They gave themselves a minute before breaking apart, panting slightly, just looking at each other. Dean hovered above Cas, having pushed him against the passenger door. “Is this weird?”
Cas blinked. “It’s very weird.” His mouth gave a tiny quirk, a rare expression. “But a good kind of weird, I think.”
“Oh, thank god.” Dean rested his forehead against Cas’, closing his eyes in relief. “I didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to freak you out.”
“It would appear that it never occurred to me that you would freak out.” Cas ran a finger absently up and down Dean’s spine. “I just wanted to get my brother off my back.”
“Please, please don’t talk about Gabe right now,” Dean mumbled, dropping a light kiss onto Cas’ nose before moving back down to bite gently on his lip. Cas huffed appreciatively before pressing Dean’s back lightly, bringing him in for a proper kiss. Dean just smiled, taking the moment for all that he could, before pulling back.
“Well. Now that we’ve got that out in the open, I think we have a couple of pizzas to pick up.” He grinned widely, watching as Cas rolled his eyes but moved to push himself up. Dean dropped a kiss onto the top of his head before sliding back into the driver’s seat and starting the car up. Cas buckled in, smiling to himself as Dean beamed and pulled out of the parking lot. Boy, did they ever have a story for their brothers when they got back.
~
A/N: AND SO IT HAPPENS. FINALLY. Oh god it feels good to get that out there. Longest chapter yet, but I absolutely loved it, and am 100% happy with it. Next chapter should be up in no time ^_^
Author: softshinythings
Rating: PG13
Genre/Pairing(s): AU!high school/college, Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel
Wordcount: ~5700 (this part, ~36,800 total)
Warnings: Alcohol abuse (parent), general angst
Disclaimer: Oh, but I can dream of what I would do with these characters if they actually belonged to me. Sadly, they’re just dreams, the Kripster gets the credit.
Summary: Part 8 of the Fast Car ‘Verse. When John insisted that Dean was to attend college, Dean drove halfway across the country with his best friend Cas in tow. But when Sam finds that he can’t handle the way John is without his eldest around, he finds solace in Cas’ brother, who doesn’t ask questions but always offers an escape route.
A/N: I am legitimately still riding off of the high I got from writing the Sam/Gabriel in the last chapter. Methinks some Dean/Cas is in order for this one. But with a healthy dose of Sam/Gabriel as well. Mhmm.
~
And I had a feeling that I belonged,
And I had a feeling I could be someone.
“Please stop pacing.”
“I’ll stop pacing when Gabe stops being a tool and gets here already.”
“No, I’m giving you permission to stop pacing.” Cas squinted down from their balcony at the parking lot. Sure enough, even from seven floors up, there was no mistaking the bright cherry finish of the Mustang pulling into the closest available space. “Unless someone else in the L.A. area has purchased a car of that shade, which is highly unlikely, then they’ve just pulled in.”
Dean bolted over to Cas’ side, leaning so far over the edge that Cas gripped the back of his shirt out of fear that he’d fling himself over the side and give their brothers a welcome they’d likely never forget. He watched as Sam and Gabriel stepped out of the car, pulled their bags from the back seat, and made a beeline for the front door. Dean ripped himself from Cas’ grasp and ran to the phone, knocking it off its cradle the moment it started buzzing. He jammed the call button to open the main doors, then went to prop himself up by their open front door.
It was all Cas could do to catch him by the shoulders as he nearly beheaded himself tripping over the rug.
~
Arriving in California was pretty much what the both of them had expected: completely and utterly backwards. They hadn’t been over the border for a full minute before Gabriel’s low whistle and customary “We’re not in Kansas anymore, kiddo,” costing Sam the five dollars he’d bet Dean months ago when they’d casually talked about them going to visit him and Cas at school. It wasn’t as though they’d expected pristine beaches and scantily-clad girls from the moment they left Arizona, but all the same, it was as if the very air around them shifted.
Waking up that morning was something Sam had silently been dreading. He was completely convinced that he’ll roll out of bed to find Gabriel sitting up, speech prepared, outlining every way that he’d been in the wrong the night before, how he shouldn’t take advantage of Sam when he was just a kid, how it would be best if they just pretended it had never happened. It was with these thoughts rushing through his head that he slowly turned over and cracked an eye open.
To his surprise, though, Gabriel was still unconscious. He slept like he lived, completely gracelessly and with wild abandon. The covers had been kicked off at some point during the night, his arms and legs essentially spread to each corner of the bed, though not necessarily the corresponding ones, pillows were strewn anywhere between his head and his feet, and his mouth hung open. Sam found it so horribly adorable that he felt a bit ashamed for staring. He quietly rose and tiptoed to the bathroom, wanting to grab a shower before they headed out. It was seven o’clock, not outrageously early, but they both wanted to get a decent head-start on the day, since they were so close.
The shower gave Sam a solid ten minutes to reflect on the previous night. Gabriel had said goodnight to him with a soft smile and a lingering hand on his jaw, as though he was unsure of how he should be acting. But he certainly hadn’t rejected Sam’s advances outright, which, to be honest, was the exact opposite of what had flashed through his mind as he was moving in for the kiss. The fact that he’d touched Sam, that he had told him to actually think about whether he wanted this, or if he was just getting confused, spoke volumes of how very much Gabriel cared for him. He knew that he had crossed a major line, but for some reason, now that he’d rested and was able to think clearly, he realized that it didn’t feel as if he’d been in the wrong. On the contrary, it felt as though he’d done something that had been scratching away at the inside of his skull for a long time, and he’d just suppressed it unconsciously.
Once Gabriel woke up, however, Sam would have a better chance to gauge his reaction now that he too had slept on it. If he woke up and said that he thought it wouldn’t be appropriate, all Sam could do would be to smile and accept it. He wouldn’t sulk, he wouldn’t throw a fit, he would just have to take whatever Gabe could give him and be grateful that he wasn’t hitchhiking the rest of the way.
It was with these expectations that he numbly hung his towels up and steeled himself to walk back out. He inched the doorknob open and stepped out.
Gabriel was just waking up, blinking blearily at his phone, obviously trying to see the time. Light was just beginning to sneak under the blinds on the windows, casting a sharp and entirely unnecessary relief over the room and everything in it. Gabriel looked as Sam walked out of the bathroom, rubbing one eye roughly.
“Hey there, kiddo. Get a decent night’s sleep?” His voice was gravelly, still trying to catch up with the rest of him. He sat upright and ran a hand through his hair, turning it into what was undoubtably the worst rendition of a bird’s nest Sam had ever seen.
“Uh ... yeah, decent, I guess.” Sam went over to his bag and dropped his flannel sleep pants and shirt into it, zipping it closed. He could feel Gabriel watching him, but just wasn’t ready for the rejection yet. There was the sound of Gabriel shifting out of bed and padding over to him. He pressed his eyes closed, letting the panic sweep throughout him for just a second, before turning around.
Gabriel was standing not a foot away from him, eyes slightly unfocused as he broke away from sleep, but still intent on Sam. It was like Sam could feel his insides clenching, afraid of what was coming next. But Gabriel had always been able to surprise him.
He lifted a hand and rested it where Sam’s neck met his shoulder, thumb lightly brushing his collarbone. His eyes followed his movement before looking back up at Sam, who couldn’t seem to remember how to blink. “How’re you really doing?”
Sam cleared his throat, looking above Gabriel’s head. “Honestly? Waiting for you to tell me what a moron I am.”
Gabriel brought his other hand up to Sam’s neck, gently tilting his head towards him. “Hey. I meant what I said, okay?” He smiled gently. “Get back to me once you’re sure. I’m not gonna go anywhere until you make a decision.”
Sam pursed his lips, ready to blurt out everything he’d thought in the shower, how he didn’t want to put Gabriel in a spot where he didn’t feel comfortable, how he wanted nothing more than for him to just stay with him, even if it meant never acting on his feelings again. But Gabriel just raised his eyebrows.
“But not yet. Let’s have breakfast, get to Cas and Dean’s, settle in, and then ...” He dropped his hands to Sam’s arms, rubbing them gently. “Then ... yeah.”
A smile snuck its way up on Sam. Gabriel simply leaned forward, pressed his lips gently to Sam’s forehead, and pulled away, moving to retrieve whatever possessions had been sprawled around his bed since the night before and throwing them into his duffel bag. “So. Pancakes or waffles this morning?”
Sam rolled his eyes, flipping his covers back to make sure he hadn’t dropped his phone there or anything. “I’m kinda ready for a big bowl of fruit, to be honest.”
There was a snort from the floor as Gabriel fished his phone charger from the plug behind the bed. “Pshhht. Lightweight. I’ll just have to double up to make up the difference.”
Sam grinned, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Gabriel wasn’t rejecting him. He was still offering Sam a chance to get out if he wanted, but he was also giving him every opportunity to act on his feelings. Things weren’t awkward. They were going to get breakfast, drive a couple hours, get to California, see Dean, see Cas.
This was so much better than he’d been thinking the morning would go down.
~
“Well, this is ... industrial.”
The apartment building was ... blocky, to put it best. It wasn’t run-down or dirty, just made completely of concrete and brick, giving it a distinctly brutalist-period feel. Gabriel had just rolled his eyes and muttered something about ‘art history buffs’ when Sam had mentioned it. They stepped out of the car, pulling their bags with them, looking around. It was about 12 storeys high, larger than most of the ones around Hanover, but set apart from the general hustle and bustle of the main road. Sam set his shoulders and aimed for the door, Gabriel half a step behind him.
Inside the main entrance was a long list of tenants and their corresponding access codes. Sam ran a finger down the list, finally reaching ‘Winchester/Novak - 703.’ He punched the number into the keypad, heard it ring once, tw- then a loud buzz, and the door popped open. Gabriel just shrugged, moving past Sam and pushing the elevator button.
“Look ...” Sam shifted uncomfortably, pressing the ‘7’ button inside and watching the doors slide closed. “... Maybe it would be best to ... hold off on mentioning any of ... this ...” He gestured between himself and Gabriel with a flapping hand. “ ... To Dean. Just yet.”
Gabriel smirked. “With you 110%. Seventh floor? That’s a long drop, but not a move I’d put past your brother in a moment of protective anger.” He reached over for Sam’s hand, tangling their fingers together and giving it a squeeze. Sam’s stomach rose and fell, reveling in the feel of Gabriel’s hand on his, tightening his grip to keep him there just a moment longer. Much too quickly they reached the seventh floor, the doors sliding open with a ding. Gabriel lifted their hands, gave Sam’s hand a quick brush of his lips, and gently let go. Sam regretted the sudden loss of warmth, but all the same, he couldn’t help but dwell on the mental image of Dean flinging Gabriel over his shoulder and into the air on the wrong side of their balcony, and he didn’t feel so bad.
Seven-oh-three was around the corner near the end of the hall, but there was no mistaking it, seeing as Dean was pacing outside of their open door, Cas leaning against the frame. They rounded the corner, catching Dean’s eye as he heard footsteps. There was a full two seconds where Dean just looked at them, before breaking out of it and essentially jogging down the length of the hall. He gripped Sam’s shoulders and pulled him roughly into a bone-crushing hug, fisting the material of Sam’s shirt against his back. Sam closed his eyes and buried his face into Dean’s neck, clinging to him. He heard Gabriel brush past them to greet Cas, but couldn’t look up. He just wanted to let Dean carry the weight, even for just a second. He didn’t care that they were in the hallway, that his duffel bag was digging painfully into his ribs. All he wanted was to have a few moments where his big brother took care of him, and he let it happen.
“Ah, Sammy ...” Dean’s voice was muffled and rough. He tightened his hold on Sam. “Man, it’s been a long couple of days.”
Sam tried to respond, but his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed thickly and tried again. “Yeah ... yeah, it has.”
Dean gave him one last squeeze before pulling back. He saw that Sam’s eyes shined in the same way he suspected his own did, but he just gave him a blinding smile and grabbing his bag from his shoulders. “C’mon, I’ll show you our crib.”
Sam laughed. “Does Cas know that you guys have a ‘crib’?”
“Oh course he does,” Dean said, throwing the bag over his shoulder and turning back towards the apartment, “it’s where he brings his bitches at the end of the day.”
Sam burst out laughing as he followed Dean in. He was surprised at the size of the place; he’d heard horror stories about the closets that some students called home when they went off to school, but this was ... big. It wasn’t lavish or anything, but the living room was large enough for their two sofas and an arm chair, there was a dining area just off the kitchen, and from the looks of it, the bedrooms were bigger than the one Sam had back home.
“Whoa. What mob boss did you have to befriend to get a place this size?” Sam poked his head into the bathroom, checking out the full tub and large sink. Cas chuckled from the living room.
“We were simply asking the right people at the right time. The previous tenants were graduating students, and we happened to be the first ones to respond to their ad online.” He took Gabriel’s bag and flung it onto the couch. “We like the extra room. Dean prefers to hang his laundry on a clothesline right here in the living room rather than risk the dryers downstairs.”
“Hey,” Dean said, pointing a finger at Cas, “that friggin’ machine ate my Zeppelin shirt, I’m not trusting it with anything else.”
“What the hell is this?!” Glee leaked from Gabriel’s voice as he leaped into the kitchen and began fondling what Sam assumed to be an espresso machine. Cas sighed.
“It’s a Tassimo, Gabriel. Our own parents bought it for us as a house-warming gift a year ago.” He slapped Gabe’s hand away as he fiddled with a knob, sending a puff of steam into his face and grinning like it was Christmas. “No. Leave it alone. It’s not a toy.” Gabriel ignored him and flipped a switch, letting out a shriek of glee as a stream of hot water began to pour into the grate receptacle. Cas rolled his eyes, gathered both of his brother’s hands in one of his own, and forcibly walked him over to the sofa. Gabe just beamed at him and spread his arms across the back of the sofa, leaning back.
“Gotta say, these are some nice digs.” He glanced around the room, eyes sharp but curious. “It’s very ... clean.”
“And you expected different?” Dean led Sam into the room and flung himself onto the other couch, legs splayed carelessly out across Cas’ lap. Cas just frowned down at them, but didn’t move them.
“I was expecting to find evidence of two male students living together for a year. This place looks like you Windexed it halfway to Tennessee.” He gazed at the windows. “Not that it’s a bad thing, though. Impressive, really.”
Sam dropped onto the sofa beside Gabriel, leaving a decent amount of space between them. His heart faltered dangerously when he felt Gabriel’s fingers, resting somewhere behind his head, lightly grasp a bit of hair and aimlessly twirl it around his finger. He couldn’t react, not with Dean and Cas sitting right across from them, but he let himself relax even further.
They talked about everything. Dean wanted to know about every diner they’d stopped at, and Gabriel was more than willing to divulge each meal with incredible detail. Cas just pursed his lips and rested his hands thoughtlessly on Dean’s legs. Sam couldn’t help but notice the way that Dean had placed himself like that, and a flash went across his mind, unbidden, about why Dean would do that. But it was gone just as quickly, replaced with the knowledge that even as the four of them laughed and talked about the drive over, Gabriel still fidgeted with that piece of hair, allowing it to wind around his finger before letting it go, working the curl out of it before repeating the action. It soothed Sam, who, in the back of his mind, was dreading the moment that Dean would want to know about their father, would want some details as to why he’d driven with Gabriel across half the continent. He just didn’t feel ready for it. But on some level, he believed that Dean understood, instead asking whether Sam had found anything raunchy in the motel rooms they’d stopped at.
By the time noon rolled around, they were all splayed out across the furniture, stomachs beginning to growl. Cas gently extricated himself from Dean’s legs and stood up. “We stocked up on food, if you would like something.”
Gabriel lowered his hands and rubbed them together. “Oh, but those are the magic words, little bro. Lead the way.” He winked at Sam and stood up, ruffling Dean’s hair as he walked by, ignoring Dean’s complaints.
Sam watched his brother, feeling completely and wholly relieved to be with him. Dean flattened his hair and frowned, but his eyes were still sparkling. He looked at Sam for a moment, tilting his head slightly as if to get a better look at him.
“You seem okay, Sammy.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I was kinda expecting to have Gabe bring you up the elevator in bits and pieces, but ...” He smiled. “I dunno.”
Sam leaned his head back, absently staring at the ceiling. “I’m ... doing alright.” He looked back at Dean. “I wasn’t, for a while there, but ... Gabriel’s helped, y’know? Kept my head on straight.”
“Yeah, well, the guy may have the antics of a five-year-old half the time, but when it matters, he knows what to do.” Dean stood up, straightening his shirt. “C’mon, let’s go dump your stuff, you’re bunking with me.”
~
“So.” Gabriel leaned himself against the countertop, purposely blocking the way to the plates and glasses. Castiel rolled his eyes and went to reach around him, but he stood his ground.
“What.”
Gabriel wagged a finger at him, smiling widely. “So? You’re in love with Dean Winchester.”
Cas’ eyes widened and he spun around, checking to see whether they’d been overheard, but he could hear Sam and Dean fumbling around in Dean’s room, probably unloading Sam’s things. He turned back to Gabe, who was grinning from ear to ear by now. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Move.”
“No, y’see,” Gabriel said, putting a hand to his chin ponderously and staring off into the middle distance, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” His eyes snapped back to Cas, whose face was doing an excellent impression of a pissed-off hawk. “How long have you let him use you as a footrest?”
Cas felt his face flush, and he reached behind Gabriel’s head to pull the cupboard open, knocking the back of Gabe’s head with no small amount of force. He felt a grim sense of pleasure as he grasped the back of his head, swearing loudly. Cas collected the dishes and glasses he needed and pushed the door shut. “He is not using me as furniture.”
Gabriel squinted at him through watering eyes, rubbing the back of his head, before stilling his motions. He straightened up, mouth agape. “Oh, baby brother.”
Cas roughly put the sandwiches onto a single plate, stacked it on top of the others, and grabbed a bag of chips, avoiding Gabriel’s stare.
“Oh don’t tell me you didn’t know.” Gabriel wormed his way under Cas’ arm, standing between him and the plates. Cas sighed and pulled the chip bag open, pouring them into a large bowl. Gabriel just followed his movements, purposely putting himself in the way at every opportunity. “But you must’ve realized that you two’ve got some sort of domestic Disneyland going on here.”
“My feelings for Dean are not in question right now,” Cas growled quietly, pulling sodas out of the fridge and shoving them into Gabriel’s chest, forcing him to catch them before they exploded on the floor. “Whatever they may be, I hardly think that discussing them at length would be inappropriate right now, as his father nearly hit Sam with a bottle of booze. That takes priority.” He balanced the chip bowl on top of Gabe’s sodas before grabbing the sandwiches and glasses and making his way into the living room. Gabriel could only watch him with a stunned look on his face.
“Guys, lunch is ready,” Cas called, spreading the plates out over the coffee table. Gabriel came up behind him, depositing the drinks and chips onto the table.”
“Cas ...” he said lowly, hearing Sam and Dean start making their way back to the living room. Cas just turned quickly to him.
“Don’t, Gabriel.” They stared at each other for a long moment before Cas sat back down on the sofa, pulling a turkey sandwich onto his plate and grabbing a handful of chips. Gabe just heaved a sigh and threw himself on the opposite couch.
“Must run in the family,” he mumbled, feeling Cas’ gaze snap up to him for the briefest of moments before Dean walked in, threw himself on the sandwiches and began inhaling.
~
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Gabriel had been overjoyed to hear that he was sleeping on the pull-out sofa, and had begun throwing cushions off and unseating Sam to check it out before Cas had jumped up and yelled that they needed to move the coffee table out of the way, giving a herculean tug and pulling it out of harm’s way moments before Gabriel heaved the bed out of its confines and let it fall open with a great sigh of satisfaction. Dean had just pinched the bridge of his nose and helped Sam up off the floor, where he was howling with laughter.
Cas spent a solid hour showing Sam his course texts, telling him about his English lectures and his philosophy seminars. Sam’s eyes had grown wide and intrigued as he heard about how students were encouraged to debate their opinions and defend their papers. Dean, less enthused about schoolwork during the summer, showed Gabriel how to properly work the Tassimo, sneaking glances behind him for fear that Cas would swoop in and castrate them both for touching his precious. Gabriel had practically glowed when the dark, steaming liquid poured from the spout into the tiny cup, and had downed it in a single gulp as Dean snorted behind his hand at the face he pulled when the temperature caught up to him.
By nightfall, they were all growing hungry again. Cas poked around the refrigerator, but heaved a sigh. “Anyone feel like having take-out?”
“God yes.” Gabriel flopped backwards on the sofa, his head landing dangerously close to Dean’s crotch. He recoiled in anticipation, trying to move away, but Gabriel had him pinned. “I’m thinking pizza.”
“Dude! So not willing to get nailed in the important bits.” Dean shoved him and got up to grab a menu, ignoring Gabriel’s bark of laughter. He flipped through his favourite one, finding the selection page. “Alright. Howsabout a hawaiian for Sam and Cas, and a stuffed-crust pepperoni for the men?”
Sam threw a couch cushion at him, which he dodged lightly, grabbing his cell, keying in the delivery number and placing his order. He ended the call and turned around to find Gabriel and Cas staring intently at each other, some sort of silent battle being waged. He looked at Sam, who shrugged his shoulders in bafflement, and quirked an eyebrow.
“You two gents want to borrow the dueling pistols? They’re a bit out of practice, but hurt like a bitch if you have to throw them in a pinch.” Dean tossed the menu back onto the table and went to sit beside Cas, who broke eye contact first and looked down at his hands.
“That will not be necessary,” Cas said, smiling idly at Dean. “Besides, those are only for when I’m defending my honour, not trying to murder my brother.”
“Okay. Awkward.” Dean turned to Gabe and Sam. “So who’s being volun-told to come with me to pick up the grub? Deal is that I drive, someone else picks up.”
“Oh, what, not able to handle two pizza boxes?” Gabriel smirked widely and dodged the pen Dean flung at him. “Take Cas. I promise not to burn down the apartment in the ten minutes you’ll be gone.” He raised two fingers in the air, putting the other hand on his heart. “Scout’s honour.”
“You were never a scout, they kicked you out after you nearly pushed that kid in the fire pit,” Dean said. He checked his watch, saw they had fifteen minutes before the ‘guarantee or it’s free’ deadline. “Mind if we head out a bit early? Wanted to pick up some ice cream around the corner for dessert.”
“Now what kind of idiotic question is that?” Gabriel said, grabbing Dean’s keys off the coffee table and winging them at his head. “If ice cream’s involved, the question need not be asked. Go like the wind, young ones.”
Dean rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the couch. “Alright, well, I’m entrusting you with Sam. You managed to keep him alive for two days, I think you’ll be able to handle twenty more minutes.”
“I’m sure I can,” Gabriel said, tossing Cas’ wallet at him from the table. He caught it centimeters from his face, glaring at Gabe, who just smiled innocently. “G’won. See you in a few, little bro.”
He just scowled as he put his shoes on and followed Dean out the front door, closing it firmly. Gabriel let out a breath and leaned against the armrest of the sofa, facing Sam. “Now that is a drama queen.” He twiddled his thumbs. “You glad we’re here, kiddo?”
Sam smiled, pulling his feet on the ground and resting them on the edge of the couch. “I really, really am.” He looked around. “They seem to be pretty happy, don’t they?”
“Oh, I’d say they’re happy,” Gabriel said, reaching for his bag of M&Ms and popping a few into his mouth. Sam watched his movements, not saying anything for a moment. Gabriel nudged him with his feet.
“What’s going on in that big ol’ brain of yours?” He threw a couple more candies back before setting the bag aside, chewing thoughtfully. Sam ran a hand through his hair and gave a gentle sigh.
“I’ve thought about ... it.” He felt his heart rate climb, his fingertips growing numb. Gabriel stilled beside him, focusing completely on him. Sam turned, eyes boring into Gabriel’s. “I want it. I know that ... that it might be kinda complicated at first, or - or that you might feel that I’m too young, or ... I don’t know. But ...” He hesitantly rested a hand on Gabriel’s knee, the first thing he came to directly attached to him. “But ... I want to, Gabriel. More than anything.”
His words hung in the air between them, and Sam couldn’t help but notice how completely gold Gabriel’s eyes were at that moment. It was just a tiny detail, but the light from the lamp was hitting his face at exactly the right angle. Gabriel blinked, looking down at where Sam held his knee. “You have no idea how glad I am that you said that.”
Sam tightened his grip slightly on Gabriel’s leg, hope rising in his chest. Gabriel let out a tiny huff of a laugh. “I mean, you could’ve said you’d made a mistake, and I would’ve completely, totally respected that but ...” He looked back up at Sam’s face. “... This is good.” He smiled. “I want this too.”
Sam pushed himself up and leaned towards Gabriel. He shifted his legs so they were on either side of Gabriel’s own, loving the way that Gabriel’s hands lifted to rest gently on his hips. He couldn’t help but grin, watching as Gabe’s gaze drifted from his hairline down to his lips, then back up to his eyes.
“Sam Winchester,” Gabriel said, voice sarcastic, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were about to take advantage of me.”
It was with the grin still on his lips that Sam closed the distance between them, gently taking Gabriel’s lips with his own. Gabriel gave a soft sigh that Sam inhaled, gently resting a hand against his neck.
It felt right.
~
“Okay, two tubs of Chunky Monkey and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough. We’re set.” Dean swung his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the Impala, moving to the rear door to dump their purchases on the back seat. Cas was two steps behind him, stuffing the change into his pocket.
Dean put the plastic bag on the seat and backed up, closing the car door, and made to move around to the driver’s side, but found his way inexplicably blocked by an unmovable Castiel. “Dude. I can’t walk through you.” He caught Cas’ eyes, which were wide and determined. It set off alarms in Dean’s head. “Cas?”
There was a fluidity with which Cas slowly backed Dean up against the car, crowded his personal space, before slowly gripping his shoulder and pressing his lips to Dean’s. It was all Dean could do to open his eyes wide and make a tiny muffled sound in the back of his throat. Sure, it was dark, but they were still in a parking lot, and it wasn’t exactly private. Cas just as calmly broke the kiss, leaning away from Dean but not letting him move away.
“Gabriel would not let me have peace until I agreed to make my intentions known to you,” Cas said, voice no different than if he were reciting the grocery list. “I have done that.”
Dean moved his mouth, unable to make words for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d say you have.”
Cas just watched him, eyes slowly turning sad. He moved to back away. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. We should get back to Sam and Gabri -”
“Whoa, hold up there, soldier.” Dean gripped his shirt, just staring at him for a moment. Cas’ face only registered regret, positive that he’d ruined what had been the perfect friendship. It broke Dean’s heart.
He reached behind himself, yanked the passenger-side door open, and guided Cas inside before slamming the door closed and booking it around to the driver’s side. Cas just sat there, frowning, as Dean flung himself in and closed the door behind him.
“Dean, I don’t -”
“What, you think I wanted to continue that out where Mr Happy-One-Stop cashier man could see for himself?” Dean grinned wildly. “No thanks.” He leaned across the seat, once again glad for the bench seats, and took Cas’ mouth with his own. There was a split second when Cas was frozen, as if unsure that it was actually happening or whether he was just imagining things, but the moment passed, and it quickly passed, and he eagerly pressed back into Dean.
They gave themselves a minute before breaking apart, panting slightly, just looking at each other. Dean hovered above Cas, having pushed him against the passenger door. “Is this weird?”
Cas blinked. “It’s very weird.” His mouth gave a tiny quirk, a rare expression. “But a good kind of weird, I think.”
“Oh, thank god.” Dean rested his forehead against Cas’, closing his eyes in relief. “I didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to freak you out.”
“It would appear that it never occurred to me that you would freak out.” Cas ran a finger absently up and down Dean’s spine. “I just wanted to get my brother off my back.”
“Please, please don’t talk about Gabe right now,” Dean mumbled, dropping a light kiss onto Cas’ nose before moving back down to bite gently on his lip. Cas huffed appreciatively before pressing Dean’s back lightly, bringing him in for a proper kiss. Dean just smiled, taking the moment for all that he could, before pulling back.
“Well. Now that we’ve got that out in the open, I think we have a couple of pizzas to pick up.” He grinned widely, watching as Cas rolled his eyes but moved to push himself up. Dean dropped a kiss onto the top of his head before sliding back into the driver’s seat and starting the car up. Cas buckled in, smiling to himself as Dean beamed and pulled out of the parking lot. Boy, did they ever have a story for their brothers when they got back.
~
A/N: AND SO IT HAPPENS. FINALLY. Oh god it feels good to get that out there. Longest chapter yet, but I absolutely loved it, and am 100% happy with it. Next chapter should be up in no time ^_^