The 'Virginity Status' Sanctuary Post
What's up with this post?
It's something I notice a lot. People being uncomfortable about their, um, virginity status (for lack of a better term). People think they lost it too early, people who think they lost it too late, people who haven't lost it and are uncomfortable about it.
A lot of fretting.
I know I was on the late end of the spectrum, and I felt horribly awkward about it. Going through high school and hearing studies that PROVED that EVERY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT HAD HAD SEX except for me. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I actually did the deed.
Right, but what's up with this post?
I want this post to be a safe place for people to disclose their "virginity status", get support, and maybe see that there are more people like them out there than they thought. Sensationalist media stories would have you think that every kid has had sex by age 14. Sex and teens sells. On the other side, alarmist media stories have the effect of shaming those who did have sex in their teens. People, we can't win. When we judge ourselves by this particular measuring stick, we all lose.
So, here's how it's gonna go down, guys:
1. Leave a top-level comment with your "status". The age you had sex if you've done it. The age you are now if you haven't.
Boom! That's it! (I'll go first! No worries)
Please feel free to share your thoughts about the issue. Reply supportively to people. Yadda yadda that sorta thing. It's a support-a-thon, guys.
I'm gonna ask one thing. All you folks like me who had sex later in life but can ticky the non-virgin box now? Come over here:
Right, now I know that when you see someone your age or a bit younger than you who's frustrated and anxious because they haven't had sex, your first instinct is to empathize and try to relate to them. Cause, you know, you've been there, right? However, I tend to think comments coming from people like us - who have in fact had sex - don't help much when we go, "I was just like you a couple years ago...but now I'm not!" Cause here's the thing, all that person sees is the "but now I'm not!" They can't relate to you. And for all you know, that person may not have sex eventually or ever. That's okay! Sex isn't required for a fulfilled and happy life!
Keep that in mind, okay?
Now, turning back to everybody: If anything in this post makes you uncomfortable, even if you don't think it was intentional, shoot me a PM. If possible, I can try to ameliorate things behind the scenes. Sometimes, there's stuff I don't catch for whatever reason, but I want to know if something is upsetting someone.
Anonymous comments are very much allowed. Also, this is a post for men as well as women.
This entry was originally posted at http://gabrielleabelle.dreamwidth.org/354988.html. There are
comments on the DW side. Comment over there or over here. Roger! Over and out!
It's something I notice a lot. People being uncomfortable about their, um, virginity status (for lack of a better term). People think they lost it too early, people who think they lost it too late, people who haven't lost it and are uncomfortable about it.
A lot of fretting.
I know I was on the late end of the spectrum, and I felt horribly awkward about it. Going through high school and hearing studies that PROVED that EVERY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT HAD HAD SEX except for me. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I actually did the deed.
Right, but what's up with this post?
I want this post to be a safe place for people to disclose their "virginity status", get support, and maybe see that there are more people like them out there than they thought. Sensationalist media stories would have you think that every kid has had sex by age 14. Sex and teens sells. On the other side, alarmist media stories have the effect of shaming those who did have sex in their teens. People, we can't win. When we judge ourselves by this particular measuring stick, we all lose.
So, here's how it's gonna go down, guys:
1. Leave a top-level comment with your "status". The age you had sex if you've done it. The age you are now if you haven't.
Boom! That's it! (I'll go first! No worries)
Please feel free to share your thoughts about the issue. Reply supportively to people. Yadda yadda that sorta thing. It's a support-a-thon, guys.
I'm gonna ask one thing. All you folks like me who had sex later in life but can ticky the non-virgin box now? Come over here:
Right, now I know that when you see someone your age or a bit younger than you who's frustrated and anxious because they haven't had sex, your first instinct is to empathize and try to relate to them. Cause, you know, you've been there, right? However, I tend to think comments coming from people like us - who have in fact had sex - don't help much when we go, "I was just like you a couple years ago...but now I'm not!" Cause here's the thing, all that person sees is the "but now I'm not!" They can't relate to you. And for all you know, that person may not have sex eventually or ever. That's okay! Sex isn't required for a fulfilled and happy life!
Keep that in mind, okay?
Now, turning back to everybody: If anything in this post makes you uncomfortable, even if you don't think it was intentional, shoot me a PM. If possible, I can try to ameliorate things behind the scenes. Sometimes, there's stuff I don't catch for whatever reason, but I want to know if something is upsetting someone.
Anonymous comments are very much allowed. Also, this is a post for men as well as women.
This entry was originally posted at http://gabrielleabelle.dreamwidth.org/354988.html. There are
comments on the DW side. Comment over there or over here. Roger! Over and out!