Buffy Came Back Wrong: Dead Things and Older and Far Away

[gabrielleabelle]

No clue what this is? Read the first post in the series.

"Depression is a prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and the cruel jailer."

- Dorothy Rowe

Yep, it's been a while since I've tackled this. With good reason, too. We're now approaching Dead Things, one of the central episodes of Buffy's depression arc. It's something that

Comments

[gabrielleabelle]

I think most Spuffy fans appreciate that conversation, because it shows that Buffy's softening toward Spike.

I know. It's so odd how a read of the depression arc often contradicts the Spuffy reading of the episode. Another example is the stuff about "always hurting the one you love", which can be used as evidence that Buffy did love Spike at this point. However, that doesn't quite work when you're looking at it from this point of view.

This sentence tickles me. It feels like a play on "spike" being a sharp thing. I don't know if that was intentional, but I find it amusing.

Ah. Not intentional. :)

Because within the metaphor, Buffy's reaction should be seen as a good thing, right? The fact that she's trying to resist, trying to pull away from Death? But the literal action of what she's doing is beating Spike to a pulp.

Yep. The entire episode has seen Buffy trying to pull away from him. First she tried to spend some time with Dawn. Then she tried to hang out with her friends. Then she tried to do some Slaying. Then she (finally) tried to turn herself in. Nothing worked. She just kept ending up back with Spike. The beating really is kinda a culmination of her attempts to break away.

What do you make of Tara's condoning Buffy using Spike? It seems contradictory for Tara to be saying, "There's nothing wrong with you," but at the same time condoning Buffy's coping mechanism. It doesn't seem to fit into the metaphor. It's like someone saying, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with you, but go ahead and keep cutting yourself if it makes you feel better."

I don't think Tara necessarily condoned it. At first, she tells Buffy that there's nothing wrong with her, but that was before she heard about what Buffy was doing. After that, she tries to justify Buffy's actions to make Buffy feel better. I think it's the equivalent of someone finding out that their friend's been cutting and trying to be supportive, regardless. Notice Tara gives something of a wishy-washy response on what Buffy's doing.

"A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time, and you're..."

She's not gonna react with disgust because it's obviously a sign that Buffy's not in a good state. But she going to try to be supportive, if she can. That means not blaming Buffy for what she's doing (cause Buffy doesn't need any more guilt piled on her).

[eowyn_315]

I think it's the equivalent of someone finding out that their friend's been cutting and trying to be supportive, regardless.

I can see that, and I didn't expect her to react with disgust, but saying "it's okay" seems like she's giving Buffy tacit permission to keep doing it. And I can see why she'd say it when talking about sex, but if it were a real self-harm situation, I imagine (or at least I would hope) that she'd recognize Buffy's going through a tough time, but also want to get her some help.

It's especially jarring because of the way Tara teases Buffy and Spike in the next episode. It's like catching Buffy playing around with the knife, not sure whether she's going to cut herself or not, and making a joke about it. Much like your examples with Spike, Tara's reaction seems so much worse when put in the context of the metaphor.

[gabrielleabelle]

You know, Tara's teasing in OAFA has always bothered me. Most people see it as Tara Being Awesome, but I cringe during it. For two reasons, mainly.

1. Spike's still wearing the bruises from Buffy's beating! Good gosh! True, Tara probably doesn't know this, but we know it. Picture Spike as a woman with a black eye courtesy of her boyfriend. It would be unthinkable to have another character teasing her in the next episode like that.

2. Like you say, it's joking about Buffy's situation. I don't think that that's something that we should try to find the levity in.

But then, I do have issues with how the DT beating is not followed up on sufficiently. It's one of my major grievances with S6 (right after the AR and Wrecked's addiction metaphor).

[eowyn_315]

Yeah, I don't think Tara understands the whole thing. I get the feeling she thinks Buffy and Spike are just having kinky sex and Buffy's embarrassed by it. I don't think she really gets the depth of how bad things are for Buffy and how screwed up the relationship is. So I can cut her a little slack as a character for making jokes, but I definitely don't think the writers should've gone there.

But I also see it less as her being awesome and more being non-confrontational. Like, "I know about you, and I want you to know that I know, but I'm not going to do anything about it." Which is very Tara, but probably not what Buffy (or Spike) needed at that point.

[gillo]

Bizarrely, current practice with mental health workers is to be non-judgemental about the actual self-harm and to suggest ways of making it less permanently damaging and disfiguring - so they suggest using really sharp blades and then cleaning and covering the damage asap. They also suggest alternatives, like a rubber band worn round the wrist to be "pinged" to cause pain instead of cutting, or the use of henna (as in mehndi) to pick off, instead of picking at scabs.

All of the above misses the mark, imo, but it's what they do. Tara's reaction fits perfectly with that.

[gabrielleabelle]

Huh. I was never, technically, treated as a self-harmer (Well, excepting when the intake counselor at the mental hospital wanted me to commit myself for it *rollseyes*), so I'm not really up on what the practice is there. I'd think it would be more effective to teach other, healthier, coping mechanisms. Although maybe they do that, as well, and suggesting sharp blades and all that are short-term "solutions" for the interim?

[gillo]

Apparently they want to encourage people to dress the wounds as soon as possible and minimise long-term problems like infection. They aren't very consistent, though - my friend who is currently in hospital is required to wear long-sleeved clothes at all times.

[gabrielleabelle]

Heh. Long-sleeves.