*gives links to you*
Hint for guys who are worried about false accusations of rape: If you're at all concerned that the woman you're about to have sex with might, in the future, accuse you of rape...don't have sex with her.
Believe it or not, you have options other than "Have sex". Despite common perception, your penis does not control you.
Also, super-special bonus hint (cause I am just that nice): When in a discussion of how rape is handled in the legal system, it makes you look self-absorbed to pop up and say, "But what if an ex-girlfriend accuses me of rape to get her evil womanly revenge on me (for acting like a douchebag in our relationship)? WE MUST PROTECT TEH MENZ!!!"
True fact: It's not about you. It's about the rape survivors and the horrific 5% conviction rate for rapists. Once we start actually putting rapists behind bars in just fashion, then we can start worrying about the hypothetically falsely accused men.
Now, standard disclaimers:
1. The links below often lead to potentially triggery material. They deal with rape and violence against women. Click with care.
2. I do not always agree with everything I link to. However, even if my view doesn't quite line up with it, all the links are things that I found interesting and thought-provoking.
3. If you have the time, please do browse through any available comments on these links. There's often some good discussions/debates going on.
4. Because I am an obsequious sort, I freely offer up yummy cookies for people reading the links. Extra chocolate chips for any menfolk reading (because they need a little extra encouragement sometimes. though the ladies get sprinkles. DON'T TELL THE GUYS THEY'LL BE JEALOUS!)
Responses to cereta's post
lizkayl's Guys and Rape
"Silence tends to be taken as assent. So if one man makes sexist remarks, and five men stand around and let him, then:
a) the women present will feel as if all six men approve of that sexism;
b) the man speaking will believe he has been given tacit approval to keep on speaking;
c) each of the five men will believe that the other four have given tacit approval to those sexist remarks;
d) each of the five men will have reinforced in his own mind that the appropriate thing to do in this situation is to be silent. (This is because, when we make a choice to do X, we reinforce our approval for X. eg If you choose to buy something, you'll like the thing more after you've bought it than before.)"
rubykatewriting's To those men who ask that I submit*:
"When my daughters and granddaughters are not taught from birth that what lays between their legs is something that others will try to take by force if they aren't careful; when I'm not linked to [info]cereta's post and find myself nodding my head, or getting a knot in my stomach when [info]inlovewithnight says by way of linking: "The idea of all the things I haven't done, the experiences I passed on, because nobody wanted to go with me and it just wasn't the smart/good/safe thing to do by myself," * because I KNOW that feeling, then I will submit to you."
Helpful organizations
The White Ribbon Campaign - Men working to end men's violence against women
Rape culture in the media
Hoyden About Town's Obfuscating Rape - Relevant Source
"The FUCK? "Having sex with" a nine-year-old? How do you "have sex with" a nine-year-old? Don't mention the rape!"
Rape in the Congo
NY Times' Rape Epidemic Raises Trauma of Congo War
"Every day, 10 new women and girls who have been raped show up at his hospital. Many have been so sadistically attacked from the inside out, butchered by bayonets and assaulted with chunks of wood, that their reproductive and digestive systems are beyond repair."
Rape in the military
Reclusive Leftist's The Global War on Women - Relevant Source (Note: I'm actually skeptical about the article that prompted this post, but the post branches out from that to address the overall issue)
"Despite the glorification of "our brave boys in uniform," soldiers are not the main casualties of war. Civilian populations are. In the 20th century, 90 percent of all war deaths were unarmed women, children, and men. "
From the US Military's website: Army's Sexual Assault Report for FY08 (PDF file)
Pages 16-17 has stats on the number of reported rapes and sexual assaults by US military during 2008 (Fun fact: 80% of rapes in the military are never reported). Page 18 also comments on the restricted reports that were not included in the stats. Also see stats on page 22. Page 23 gives an overview of what actions were taken, if any, in regards to reported rapes/assaults. Finally page 31-51 contains an exhaustive chart of the numbers.
Rape in South Africa
BBC News' South African rape survey shock
"One in four South African men questioned in a survey said they had raped someone, and nearly half of them admitted more than one attack."
The Guardian's Quarter of men in South Africa admit rape, survey finds
"Before his election as president, Jacob Zuma stood trial for the rape of a family friend. His supporters demonstrated at the court house, verbally attacked his accuser and sang "burn the bitch, burn the bitch". Zuma was eventually acquitted."
The Guardian's 'It took me 20 years to realise that I'd done something wrong'
""I went to see my religious mentor and said I have to go and apologise to my victim. He said, 'You were only 15 years old, it's in the past, what if she reports it?' I said that would be justice for her."
On Consent
NOMAS' Manufacturing Consent - Is It Rape?
"The guy wants the sex or the “fooling around” to be consensual, but edits out all her responses that don’t sound like consent. He manufactures her consent by giving her a massage, kissing her, putting his arm around her - all towards the goal of "getting her to relax" and agree to become sexual. She may "consent" in the end, but may regret it afterwards - having no outward "rape" to point to, she blames herself and dismisses her feelings that something was wrong about the whole situation."
Rape and the failure of the legal system
The Curvature's Actual Rape Victim Jailed for “False Report” - Relevant Source
"While she was in jail, her rapist went out and raped more women, and was eventually caught. Luckily for this first woman, her trial had not yet come up, and the charges were dropped. Unfortunately for the other women, you know, they were raped. And their rapes could have possibly been prevented if the first woman had just been believed and not locked up in jail."
On the false report myth
abyss2hope's Report on False Reporting Of Non-Stranger Rapes - Relevant Source
"Not surprisingly some of the training materials available to investigators related to false reports are unreliable at best and use stereotypes as a substitute for evidence at worst. For those who use stereotypes to label someone as a false reporter it is important to note that a cold-blooded liar isn't likely to create a scenario where genuine reports are most frequently dismissed as unprovable. False reporters are most likely going to describe a crime which matches the stereotypes of what make a rape a "real rape.""
On rape statistics
Alas' The US government’s crime survey is severely underestimating rape prevalence
"Using the behaviorally specific screening questions, Fisher found that 19 out of 1000 female students had been raped since the beginning of the Fall term of school. In contrast, using the Federal government's screening questions from the National Crime Victimization Survey, two out of 1000 female students had been raped since the beginning of the Fall term."
Alas' How Many Men are Rapists?
"If you take every doctor and nurse in the United States; and you added them to every librarian, every cashier, every cop, every postal clerk, and every bank teller in the whole country; you still wouldn’t have as many people as the number of rapists in the United States."
Believe it or not, you have options other than "Have sex". Despite common perception, your penis does not control you.
Also, super-special bonus hint (cause I am just that nice): When in a discussion of how rape is handled in the legal system, it makes you look self-absorbed to pop up and say, "But what if an ex-girlfriend accuses me of rape to get her evil womanly revenge on me (for acting like a douchebag in our relationship)? WE MUST PROTECT TEH MENZ!!!"
True fact: It's not about you. It's about the rape survivors and the horrific 5% conviction rate for rapists. Once we start actually putting rapists behind bars in just fashion, then we can start worrying about the hypothetically falsely accused men.
Now, standard disclaimers:
1. The links below often lead to potentially triggery material. They deal with rape and violence against women. Click with care.
2. I do not always agree with everything I link to. However, even if my view doesn't quite line up with it, all the links are things that I found interesting and thought-provoking.
3. If you have the time, please do browse through any available comments on these links. There's often some good discussions/debates going on.
4. Because I am an obsequious sort, I freely offer up yummy cookies for people reading the links. Extra chocolate chips for any menfolk reading (because they need a little extra encouragement sometimes. though the ladies get sprinkles. DON'T TELL THE GUYS THEY'LL BE JEALOUS!)
Responses to cereta's post
lizkayl's Guys and Rape
"Silence tends to be taken as assent. So if one man makes sexist remarks, and five men stand around and let him, then:
a) the women present will feel as if all six men approve of that sexism;
b) the man speaking will believe he has been given tacit approval to keep on speaking;
c) each of the five men will believe that the other four have given tacit approval to those sexist remarks;
d) each of the five men will have reinforced in his own mind that the appropriate thing to do in this situation is to be silent. (This is because, when we make a choice to do X, we reinforce our approval for X. eg If you choose to buy something, you'll like the thing more after you've bought it than before.)"
rubykatewriting's To those men who ask that I submit*:
"When my daughters and granddaughters are not taught from birth that what lays between their legs is something that others will try to take by force if they aren't careful; when I'm not linked to [info]cereta's post and find myself nodding my head, or getting a knot in my stomach when [info]inlovewithnight says by way of linking: "The idea of all the things I haven't done, the experiences I passed on, because nobody wanted to go with me and it just wasn't the smart/good/safe thing to do by myself," * because I KNOW that feeling, then I will submit to you."
Helpful organizations
The White Ribbon Campaign - Men working to end men's violence against women
Rape culture in the media
Hoyden About Town's Obfuscating Rape - Relevant Source
"The FUCK? "Having sex with" a nine-year-old? How do you "have sex with" a nine-year-old? Don't mention the rape!"
Rape in the Congo
NY Times' Rape Epidemic Raises Trauma of Congo War
"Every day, 10 new women and girls who have been raped show up at his hospital. Many have been so sadistically attacked from the inside out, butchered by bayonets and assaulted with chunks of wood, that their reproductive and digestive systems are beyond repair."
Rape in the military
Reclusive Leftist's The Global War on Women - Relevant Source (Note: I'm actually skeptical about the article that prompted this post, but the post branches out from that to address the overall issue)
"Despite the glorification of "our brave boys in uniform," soldiers are not the main casualties of war. Civilian populations are. In the 20th century, 90 percent of all war deaths were unarmed women, children, and men. "
From the US Military's website: Army's Sexual Assault Report for FY08 (PDF file)
Pages 16-17 has stats on the number of reported rapes and sexual assaults by US military during 2008 (Fun fact: 80% of rapes in the military are never reported). Page 18 also comments on the restricted reports that were not included in the stats. Also see stats on page 22. Page 23 gives an overview of what actions were taken, if any, in regards to reported rapes/assaults. Finally page 31-51 contains an exhaustive chart of the numbers.
Rape in South Africa
BBC News' South African rape survey shock
"One in four South African men questioned in a survey said they had raped someone, and nearly half of them admitted more than one attack."
The Guardian's Quarter of men in South Africa admit rape, survey finds
"Before his election as president, Jacob Zuma stood trial for the rape of a family friend. His supporters demonstrated at the court house, verbally attacked his accuser and sang "burn the bitch, burn the bitch". Zuma was eventually acquitted."
The Guardian's 'It took me 20 years to realise that I'd done something wrong'
""I went to see my religious mentor and said I have to go and apologise to my victim. He said, 'You were only 15 years old, it's in the past, what if she reports it?' I said that would be justice for her."
On Consent
NOMAS' Manufacturing Consent - Is It Rape?
"The guy wants the sex or the “fooling around” to be consensual, but edits out all her responses that don’t sound like consent. He manufactures her consent by giving her a massage, kissing her, putting his arm around her - all towards the goal of "getting her to relax" and agree to become sexual. She may "consent" in the end, but may regret it afterwards - having no outward "rape" to point to, she blames herself and dismisses her feelings that something was wrong about the whole situation."
Rape and the failure of the legal system
The Curvature's Actual Rape Victim Jailed for “False Report” - Relevant Source
"While she was in jail, her rapist went out and raped more women, and was eventually caught. Luckily for this first woman, her trial had not yet come up, and the charges were dropped. Unfortunately for the other women, you know, they were raped. And their rapes could have possibly been prevented if the first woman had just been believed and not locked up in jail."
On the false report myth
abyss2hope's Report on False Reporting Of Non-Stranger Rapes - Relevant Source
"Not surprisingly some of the training materials available to investigators related to false reports are unreliable at best and use stereotypes as a substitute for evidence at worst. For those who use stereotypes to label someone as a false reporter it is important to note that a cold-blooded liar isn't likely to create a scenario where genuine reports are most frequently dismissed as unprovable. False reporters are most likely going to describe a crime which matches the stereotypes of what make a rape a "real rape.""
On rape statistics
Alas' The US government’s crime survey is severely underestimating rape prevalence
"Using the behaviorally specific screening questions, Fisher found that 19 out of 1000 female students had been raped since the beginning of the Fall term of school. In contrast, using the Federal government's screening questions from the National Crime Victimization Survey, two out of 1000 female students had been raped since the beginning of the Fall term."
Alas' How Many Men are Rapists?
"If you take every doctor and nurse in the United States; and you added them to every librarian, every cashier, every cop, every postal clerk, and every bank teller in the whole country; you still wouldn’t have as many people as the number of rapists in the United States."