A Confession
So, I've been hesitant to write this post, because I'm afraid it may change how some of you think of me and I respect and cherish all your friendships -- but it's something that you all really need to know.
I'm a cheater.
I know, I joke about cheating on memes and twisting the rules etc. but this is serious. This is betrayal-type cheating.
That's right. I'm writing for another fandom.
At first I was just apathetic about everything. I couldn't get excited and squee the way the rest of you did about the Deathly Hallows trailer. I really didn't even care that much for Half Blood Prince if you want to come down to it. I thought it was just my life -- Nothing was really breaking through.
But then...Smallville entered the picture. And not really just Smallville, because I'd dabbled with watching the show in its first two seasons before leaving it behind when I cut down on my TV viewing. I started watching again in Season 8 (two years ago) because of a preview clip I saw with Justin Hartley who plays the Green Arrow/Oliver Queen. I've mentioned this before early this year, I think. Because earlier this year, in the last half of Season 9, Oliver and Chloe started a relationship and I became obsessed with finding fanfics about it.
And that's how it started. I joined an LJ community to just read fanfics. And honestly, I was so hungry for them that I ignored things that would have made me push the back button on a Harry Potter fanfic (really bad grammar mistakes that even I noticed -- spelling and word confusion). I make excuses for them. They are a young community with little to no Beta reading, etc. etc. Oh yeah, I've got it bad.
But it was just reading at first. Then, a couple weeks ago, I posted a couple of one shots (one wasn't even much more than a drabble). I got some short positive comments -- someone even re-quoted one of my lines in a favorite lines post a few days later. And someone else asked my permission to translate the shorter one for her blog (she's Brazilian). I went there to see what my words looked like in another language. You can see how that might be intoxicating.
So now I'm writing what was supposed to be another drabble for a prompt challenge on the community. Only it's 4,000 words and counting and I'm just now closing on the end. I haven't felt like this when I've been writing in a long time. I know -- excuses, excuses -- but I can't help myself. Ollie makes me happy. I mean, look at my new icon and take three guesses why (the first two don't count). My taste in men doesn't waver that much.
And moonette1, you'd like him -- he's full of angst -- and even had a whole conversation with Chloe about scars (metaphorical ones, but he has the real kind too, you can't be a super-power-less hero without getting scratched and bloodied up a bit).
I'm not trying to convert you, or anything. I just...wanted to be honest -- because I might start wanting to talk openly about it in the journal and I thought you all should know.
I hope you forgive me. I don't like leaving things unfinished (Remus says I coulda fooled him, but he got Tonks, so I don't think he should complain). So I still hope to get back to George and Regulus and Sirius someday. But for now -- I just have to be with the fandom that makes me happiest.
I'm a cheater.
I know, I joke about cheating on memes and twisting the rules etc. but this is serious. This is betrayal-type cheating.
That's right. I'm writing for another fandom.
At first I was just apathetic about everything. I couldn't get excited and squee the way the rest of you did about the Deathly Hallows trailer. I really didn't even care that much for Half Blood Prince if you want to come down to it. I thought it was just my life -- Nothing was really breaking through.
But then...Smallville entered the picture. And not really just Smallville, because I'd dabbled with watching the show in its first two seasons before leaving it behind when I cut down on my TV viewing. I started watching again in Season 8 (two years ago) because of a preview clip I saw with Justin Hartley who plays the Green Arrow/Oliver Queen. I've mentioned this before early this year, I think. Because earlier this year, in the last half of Season 9, Oliver and Chloe started a relationship and I became obsessed with finding fanfics about it.
And that's how it started. I joined an LJ community to just read fanfics. And honestly, I was so hungry for them that I ignored things that would have made me push the back button on a Harry Potter fanfic (really bad grammar mistakes that even I noticed -- spelling and word confusion). I make excuses for them. They are a young community with little to no Beta reading, etc. etc. Oh yeah, I've got it bad.
But it was just reading at first. Then, a couple weeks ago, I posted a couple of one shots (one wasn't even much more than a drabble). I got some short positive comments -- someone even re-quoted one of my lines in a favorite lines post a few days later. And someone else asked my permission to translate the shorter one for her blog (she's Brazilian). I went there to see what my words looked like in another language. You can see how that might be intoxicating.
So now I'm writing what was supposed to be another drabble for a prompt challenge on the community. Only it's 4,000 words and counting and I'm just now closing on the end. I haven't felt like this when I've been writing in a long time. I know -- excuses, excuses -- but I can't help myself. Ollie makes me happy. I mean, look at my new icon and take three guesses why (the first two don't count). My taste in men doesn't waver that much.
And moonette1, you'd like him -- he's full of angst -- and even had a whole conversation with Chloe about scars (metaphorical ones, but he has the real kind too, you can't be a super-power-less hero without getting scratched and bloodied up a bit).
I'm not trying to convert you, or anything. I just...wanted to be honest -- because I might start wanting to talk openly about it in the journal and I thought you all should know.
I hope you forgive me. I don't like leaving things unfinished (Remus says I coulda fooled him, but he got Tonks, so I don't think he should complain). So I still hope to get back to George and Regulus and Sirius someday. But for now -- I just have to be with the fandom that makes me happiest.