I remain...

[gabrielhorse]

Today, I turn 42. I feel very tired, very much the old man, probably even older than my age suggests. The work, the cost of it, the damages & the sacrifices made: the lines, the creases, the deep irregular scars. It's all there on my face. A lot of loss, a degree of pensiveness, and a degree of experience. Nothing ever seems to be over & done with; completed in some sense, yet never explicitly finished. The demons in my life are never completely vanquished, just more at a pathetic degree of disadvantage than they were when they were impacting my life in the past.

https://youtu.be/xnbJLvC5TVQ