(no subject)
TF.N has supposed spoiler information for Allies, the FotJ novel by Christie Golden that's due out in May. Where are we in that series, anyway? Is Allies supposed to be book five? (Do I care? Not really, no.) Anyway, it's mildly interesting.
Seriously? Callista warrants a capitalized "WHO?" with extra punctuation? Come on. She's practically the only character who hasn't made an appearance at this point. If she shows up, it's nothing new and shocking. It's scraping the bottom of the damned barrel.
But considering how drastically they destroyed changed the Skywalker/Solo family with LotF, I can't say I care very much what happens now; I pretty much consider everything between TUF and Legacy to be so out of character as to be official AUs, like the Infinities comics. So whatever, LFL and Del Rey. Bring her back. Have her marry Luke, for all I care. In fact, here's my own jaded, jaded take on what should happen if FotJ follows the same flavor of OOC narrative idiocy that DN and LotF did:
Luke and Ben have some moment of crucial danger against whatever current terrible threat-to-end-all-threats the galaxy is facing. All appears lost. Suddenly, from out of the blue, Callista appears! Her gray eyes flash; her malt-shaded hair waves in the wind. She does something all magic-y with the Force, Troy Denning style - more dramatic, perhaps, than Tenel Ka using it to (LITERALLY) clear her complexion after crying, but just as stupidly reaching. Luke and Ben are saved! For the moment, anyway; the threat still lurks against the galaxy as a whole. There is much to be accomplished. But for now, a moment of reunion: Luke and Callista gaze at each other awkwardly, while Ben wonders at the strange woman and the tension between her and his father. After a long moment of melodramatic silence, Luke and Callista greet each other. Luke thanks her, and introduces her to Ben as a Jedi, and Ben to her as his son. Callista does some more soulful gazing at Ben. We are probably treated to some scintillating dialogue on her part, such as, "Yes, I know." Ben wonders why he's never met this particular Jedi before. Luke shoos Ben off, probably to go check on whatever ship Mara last had that they're using now, since the NJO liked to destroy Mara's ships. What are they on now? The Shadow? Or was there another one after the Shadow? Eh, whatever. It's Mara's old ship, hence we get the heavy-handed narrative quirk of Ben being sent off to check on his mother's ship so that his father can have a nice little chat with the girlfriend that preceded Ben's mother.
Safely alone together for the first time in - what, thirty years? Something like that. Anyway, Luke and Callista are safely alone. There is some awkwardness. Luke kicks at the dirt much as he would have way on back in ANH, because the EU looooves ham-fisted reminders of who Our Heroes used to be, like how LotF had Leia in white robes and Luke in Tatooine desert wear asking if his old Ewok friends could come out to play. So Luke is all Awkward But Lovable Farm Boy again instead of Jedi Master, and Callista looks at him with her eyes all soft and quietly spouts some charming platitudes about how Luke's done such a good job with Ben, blah blah blah, she always knew he'd be a wonderful father, yada yada yada. Luke kicks the dirt some more and says it's as much Ben's mother's doing as his; there's soooooo much of Mara in Ben. Callista laughs gently and says some more fascinating and unexpected things, like, "Especially the hair." Luke also laughs. There is a moment of shared warmth between them. Callista quietly says that Mara was a far better match for Luke than she ever was. Luke acknowledges the role Mara played and still plays in his life, but adds that what he and Callista shared was real as well. Perhaps the timing was just wrong. Callista agrees. Luke offers her a lift off of wherever it is they are. Callista accepts. Hey, maybe she's been living as a hermit like Obi-Wan did (more narrative parallels! WAY more important than originality, if you ask the recent EU!) and now realizes that it's time to come out of seclusion and help the greater good. You know, after the Bothan/fake Thrawn crisis, the Yuuzhan Vong War, the Killek War, and the second Civil War wherein a Sith once again stood at the head of a galactic government. Now's a much better time to be a responsible citizen of the galaxy. Yup.
Luke takes Callista back to wherever the good guys congregate these days. On the journey, the story of Luke and Callista's history together comes out. Ben is unsure what to think. They arrive at wherever it is they're going and Luke reintroduces Callista to the Jedi. Everyone welcomes her back while giving Luke knowing looks. Luke glares at them. There is random plot stuff wherein everyone discusses boring things like how Luke and Ben were rescued from danger, what the evil threatens next, how they should tackle that little problem, and how Callista got her powers back (you know it'd be something to do with Zonoma Sekot).
The plot marches steadfastly on. Luke and Callista find themselves paired up ever more often. Luke feels conflicted. He communes with the Force a lot. Ben and Callista have some nice chats themselves. Callista is respectful of his heritage and says many nice things about Mara. Ben likes Callista. He eventually tells Luke that it's all right if he wants to date Callista again; he doesn't mind, and he doesn't think that Mom would either. Luke is happy. He reassures Ben that he will always love Mara. Ben is all mature and compassionate and says more astoundingly insightful dialogue like, "I know." (Parallels! Narrative parallels! ARE YOU CATCHING THESE PARALLELS, PEOPLE? BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING HARD TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE READING STAR WARS. HELP US OUT HERE.)
At some point in the near future (toward the end of the FotJ series would be just awesome; closure and all that crap, you know), Luke and Callista become engaged. They marry. Ben watches proudly. Luke sees a shimmer at the edge of his vision; ForceGhost!Mara appears - mute, as is her custom - and smiles at him and mouths "Love you," just like she did to Ben. (GODDAMMIT, SOMEONE BETTER BE NOTICING OUR PARALLELS.) Luke knows that he is always in Mara's heart as she is in his, and that she approves of him continuing his earthly Tatooinely Coruscantly corporeal life, and that she'll be waiting for him when his time comes to join the Force. Of course, Callista'll be there now too, but that's okay; after all, Lumiya and Akanah have also played some sort of narrative role recently. Maybe they'll all be happyish together in the afterlife, like some GFFA-style Big Love. Luke and/or Callista makes a sappy, sappy comment about how the timing wasn't right their first time around, but it is now. They and Ben make a happy family and do lots of happy Jedi family things together. The galaxy is at peace and the Jedi prosper. Their long, hard struggles are over at last.
THE END
P.S. Well, until the next great galactic threat. You know how it goes. Gotta sell those books!
Also, spoiler possibilities in the comments, folks. If you're invested in remaining spoiler-free for FotJ, don't click here. Move along. :P
Seriously? Callista warrants a capitalized "WHO?" with extra punctuation? Come on. She's practically the only character who hasn't made an appearance at this point. If she shows up, it's nothing new and shocking. It's scraping the bottom of the damned barrel.
But considering how drastically they destroyed changed the Skywalker/Solo family with LotF, I can't say I care very much what happens now; I pretty much consider everything between TUF and Legacy to be so out of character as to be official AUs, like the Infinities comics. So whatever, LFL and Del Rey. Bring her back. Have her marry Luke, for all I care. In fact, here's my own jaded, jaded take on what should happen if FotJ follows the same flavor of OOC narrative idiocy that DN and LotF did:
Luke and Ben have some moment of crucial danger against whatever current terrible threat-to-end-all-threats the galaxy is facing. All appears lost. Suddenly, from out of the blue, Callista appears! Her gray eyes flash; her malt-shaded hair waves in the wind. She does something all magic-y with the Force, Troy Denning style - more dramatic, perhaps, than Tenel Ka using it to (LITERALLY) clear her complexion after crying, but just as stupidly reaching. Luke and Ben are saved! For the moment, anyway; the threat still lurks against the galaxy as a whole. There is much to be accomplished. But for now, a moment of reunion: Luke and Callista gaze at each other awkwardly, while Ben wonders at the strange woman and the tension between her and his father. After a long moment of melodramatic silence, Luke and Callista greet each other. Luke thanks her, and introduces her to Ben as a Jedi, and Ben to her as his son. Callista does some more soulful gazing at Ben. We are probably treated to some scintillating dialogue on her part, such as, "Yes, I know." Ben wonders why he's never met this particular Jedi before. Luke shoos Ben off, probably to go check on whatever ship Mara last had that they're using now, since the NJO liked to destroy Mara's ships. What are they on now? The Shadow? Or was there another one after the Shadow? Eh, whatever. It's Mara's old ship, hence we get the heavy-handed narrative quirk of Ben being sent off to check on his mother's ship so that his father can have a nice little chat with the girlfriend that preceded Ben's mother.
Safely alone together for the first time in - what, thirty years? Something like that. Anyway, Luke and Callista are safely alone. There is some awkwardness. Luke kicks at the dirt much as he would have way on back in ANH, because the EU looooves ham-fisted reminders of who Our Heroes used to be, like how LotF had Leia in white robes and Luke in Tatooine desert wear asking if his old Ewok friends could come out to play. So Luke is all Awkward But Lovable Farm Boy again instead of Jedi Master, and Callista looks at him with her eyes all soft and quietly spouts some charming platitudes about how Luke's done such a good job with Ben, blah blah blah, she always knew he'd be a wonderful father, yada yada yada. Luke kicks the dirt some more and says it's as much Ben's mother's doing as his; there's soooooo much of Mara in Ben. Callista laughs gently and says some more fascinating and unexpected things, like, "Especially the hair." Luke also laughs. There is a moment of shared warmth between them. Callista quietly says that Mara was a far better match for Luke than she ever was. Luke acknowledges the role Mara played and still plays in his life, but adds that what he and Callista shared was real as well. Perhaps the timing was just wrong. Callista agrees. Luke offers her a lift off of wherever it is they are. Callista accepts. Hey, maybe she's been living as a hermit like Obi-Wan did (more narrative parallels! WAY more important than originality, if you ask the recent EU!) and now realizes that it's time to come out of seclusion and help the greater good. You know, after the Bothan/fake Thrawn crisis, the Yuuzhan Vong War, the Killek War, and the second Civil War wherein a Sith once again stood at the head of a galactic government. Now's a much better time to be a responsible citizen of the galaxy. Yup.
Luke takes Callista back to wherever the good guys congregate these days. On the journey, the story of Luke and Callista's history together comes out. Ben is unsure what to think. They arrive at wherever it is they're going and Luke reintroduces Callista to the Jedi. Everyone welcomes her back while giving Luke knowing looks. Luke glares at them. There is random plot stuff wherein everyone discusses boring things like how Luke and Ben were rescued from danger, what the evil threatens next, how they should tackle that little problem, and how Callista got her powers back (you know it'd be something to do with Zonoma Sekot).
The plot marches steadfastly on. Luke and Callista find themselves paired up ever more often. Luke feels conflicted. He communes with the Force a lot. Ben and Callista have some nice chats themselves. Callista is respectful of his heritage and says many nice things about Mara. Ben likes Callista. He eventually tells Luke that it's all right if he wants to date Callista again; he doesn't mind, and he doesn't think that Mom would either. Luke is happy. He reassures Ben that he will always love Mara. Ben is all mature and compassionate and says more astoundingly insightful dialogue like, "I know." (Parallels! Narrative parallels! ARE YOU CATCHING THESE PARALLELS, PEOPLE? BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING HARD TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE READING STAR WARS. HELP US OUT HERE.)
At some point in the near future (toward the end of the FotJ series would be just awesome; closure and all that crap, you know), Luke and Callista become engaged. They marry. Ben watches proudly. Luke sees a shimmer at the edge of his vision; ForceGhost!Mara appears - mute, as is her custom - and smiles at him and mouths "Love you," just like she did to Ben. (GODDAMMIT, SOMEONE BETTER BE NOTICING OUR PARALLELS.) Luke knows that he is always in Mara's heart as she is in his, and that she approves of him continuing his earthly Tatooinely Coruscantly corporeal life, and that she'll be waiting for him when his time comes to join the Force. Of course, Callista'll be there now too, but that's okay; after all, Lumiya and Akanah have also played some sort of narrative role recently. Maybe they'll all be happyish together in the afterlife, like some GFFA-style Big Love. Luke and/or Callista makes a sappy, sappy comment about how the timing wasn't right their first time around, but it is now. They and Ben make a happy family and do lots of happy Jedi family things together. The galaxy is at peace and the Jedi prosper. Their long, hard struggles are over at last.
THE END
P.S. Well, until the next great galactic threat. You know how it goes. Gotta sell those books!
Also, spoiler possibilities in the comments, folks. If you're invested in remaining spoiler-free for FotJ, don't click here. Move along. :P