Invincible review, part 2 - it's chock-full of spoilery goodness!
Well, not so much with the goodness, actually. I don't think it's a good sign when a book review reads like a Dave Barry column, full of "I am not making this up" sentiments. Read at your own risk. Hopefully the markup codes won't go all wonky on account of the long entry.
Chapter Seven
Jaina lands. There's a big gun between her and where she needs to go, with twelve stormtroopers manning it. Jaina decides they're all going to die, so that they can't report her and botch her mission:
It made her wonder how different she was from her brother, really. Perhaps she and Caedus were just soldiers in the ancient war between Sith and Jedi. Jaina would have liked to believe that, because then she could pretend this was just something demanded by the war instead of a choice she had made out of hatred for what her brother had become.
But Jacen had been a Jedi once. Now he was a Sith. That made him a traitor, and didn't traitors deserve to be hated? They were breakers of vows, betrayers of trusts . . . corrupters of the innocent and murderers of their beloved. Killing them was more than necessary. It was a duty, an act of deterrence and military preclusion, but also of outrage and reprisal, and that made it personal.
1) Two paragraphs. Three italicized words.
2) These paragraphs are on page 98. Back on page 33, when Han said that Caedus was just the monster who'd taken over Jacen's dead body, we read:
Jaina did not know how to react to the raw hatred in his voice, perhaps because she had decided dispassionately that it was appropriate to put a blaster bolt through her twin brother's head.
Notice not only the wording, but which word is italicized. The italics are not mine. Why aren't the author and editors catching these blatant and idiotic contradictions?
3) Luke's not allowed to go after Jacen, because it's too personal for him; he might act out of vengeance because Jacen murdered Luke's beloved wife of twenty years. But Jaina sits here and thinks at length about how Jacen deserves not only death, but to be hated for personal reasons, and die for those personal reasons. AGAIN, why are the author and editors not catching these contradictions? Are they stupid? Do they think we are? Or are they truly so careless about their work?
4) If we're really looking at a situation where there is no one capable of taking out Jacen without it being personal, which is what it's looking like now, for heaven's sake, send Luke. All his visions say he'd win a fight like that. He has beaten Caedus before; he wiped the floor with him in Inferno. He's more skilled, more powerful, and more experienced than Jaina. If you're only playing the odds with how Jacen's killer will emerge from this, at least play better odds that Jacen will in fact be killed.
Jaina assesses the situation:
Twelve stormtroopers, one Jedi assassin in a damaged dropsuit, three seconds to do the job. No problem.
Sigh.
1) While I hate Traviss's adulation of the Mandos, it works both ways. Don't build up the Jedi beyond reason, Troy.
2) For all the Mary Sue accusations I've seen about Zahn and Mara, if this was Zahn writing Mara in the same situation, Mara would be carefully and realistically analyzing the threat, possible tactics, odds of success, and a backup plan in case of failure. Denning writes Jaina egotistically dismissing all of that with a blasé "no problem" and most people in Lit seem to adore him. *facepalm*
3) What's he got with this "three seconds" business? Honest to goodness, this is at least the third time in 100 pages that Denning has specifically said "three seconds." Quit repeating yourself.
Jaina uses the Force to sabotage their weapons into an overload or something; they blow up and take the stormtroopers with them. A squad of Mandos comes looking for the noise - I assume - and Jaina thinks that the smart thing to do would be to leave them to die (she overheated a fusion core or something; Denning's descriptions of what she's doing are boring me to tears), but she "could not let herself become quite that ruthless." Mm-hmm.
Besides, the leader was a female in familiar yellow-orange armor with gold sigils. And - assuming Jaina was the lucky one who walked away from the fight with her brother - the last thing she wanted was to have Boba Fett after her for letting his granddaughter die.
Why? He's supposedly been after your brother for literally beating his daughter to death during a police interrogation for several books now, and nothing's happened. Besides which, have none of these authors head of the boy who cried wolf?
Everyone gets away from whatever dangerous thing Jaina did, and she and Mirta chat. Jaina asks Mirta if her husband has been killed in the skirmishes. We read:
"He'll make it," she said, "if there's enough left of our Tra'kad to get past the Imperials."
"There will be," Jaina assured her. It had been less than a month since she had been on Mandalore drinking at the wedding of Mirta Gev and Ghes Orade, and she had never seen two people so much in love - aside from her parents, of course.
Of course, Troy. Of course. Quit with the Mando concessions, already. Jaina knew those two for a couple of freaking weeks. She has no real idea at all of how much in love they are; she has no baseline comparison for either of them separately, let alone as a couple. And naturally, if we're going to mention the Mandos, that Mando couple must be more in love than anyone Jaina's ever seen - more than her uncle and aunt, more than any of her family's many, many married friends, more than she ever loved Jag, more than anyone! But not more than Han and Leia! Because Denning's an H/Ler. We KNOW.
Jaina says she's not going to help the Mandos take out the Moffs, then:
"Actually," Mirta said, "you are."
She reached for her equipment pouch - and found her hand suddenly frozen in midair by the Force.
"You really don't think I'm going to let you pull a thermal detonator, do you?" Jaina asked. "That trick's as old as my mother."
*facepalm* I say to you as I said to Traviss, Mr. Denning: Jaina did not experience the events of the movies. Stop making stupid injokes for fans (who, I might add, almost certainly know the movies better than you anyway) and write the damned characters. Jaina's not going to refer to a tiny fraction of her mother's actions in one skirmish that happened years before Jaina was even born. And when that tiny thing her mother did was the oldest trick in the book anyway, I doubt Jaina's even remembering that her mother once used it too.
Mirta convinces Jaina to help them because Fett's tapped into the surveillance system and Mirta shows Jaina that Jacen's alone in his quarters. Jaina says only if they do things her way.
"As long as your way includes killing the Moffs,sure," replied Mirta. "We don't mind following a Jedi Knight. They used to make good generals, after all."
I don't even know where to start. *sigh* Okay, for one, not all Mandos are Jango clones or their descendants; for another, as far as I know those clones were not themselves automatically Mandos. And in Revelation, not a single Mando had a single halfway complimentary thing to say about any Jedi. The closest they came was referring to Jaina as their very own pet trained Jedi. Now Mirta praises their military prowess and says Mandos don't mind following them.
Honestly, is anyone paying any attention at all to what happens from one book to the next? Forget that - just keep one book internally consistent! Just ONE!
Chapter Eight
So. Bored.
Seriously, I thought I could zip through a book of this length. No such luck. I'm quite bored and having to force myself to not skim.
Okay, still Jaina's POV. She and Mirta are eavesdropping on the Moffs, who are saying nothing of any interest whatsoever. The Hapans, Daala, and Niathal are converging on them; they're not going to give Jacen "the dozens of Star Destroyers we have in the Roche system"; they're not going to turn the Empire over "to the bad seed of a common spicerunner and his gutter-crawling Princess." The Mandalorians are going to kill them all in a few minutes. Jaina protests because Jacen's still an unknown factor. The Mandos do not care.
A little more angsting on Jaina's part about killing her brother. She fully expects to be tainted by the dark side if she wins. I say again, if being tainted is inevitable, send the one with the best chance to win regardless. That's Luke, not Jaina. You are not building a good case for Jaina to kill Jacen, Denning.
Jaina recalls again her time as a Killek Joiner.
On page 117, the possessive plural is punctuated as the possessive singular: Moff's. How I hate that error.
Jacen arrives, lightsaber blazing. He apparently doesn't yet know Jaina's there. He wallops Mirta, then goes after another Mando:
Then Caedus did a peculiar thing. He paused for an instant, glowering at the Mandalorian's blue armor as though offended by its color. Jaina saw the chance for a difficult oblique shot past Roegr's helmet and swung the QuietSnipe over.
Caedus brought the pommel of his lightsaber down, striking the breastplate not all that hard, not quiet in the center . . . and shattering it. The beskar didn't burst apart or send shards flying, or do anything remotely explosive. It just crumbled away from the vacproof underliner, leaving Roegr faceplate-to-chin with his soon-to-be killer.
Jaina was too disciplined to let her shock distract her, but she was shocked. Beskar'gam was some of the toughest armor in the galaxy, able to deflect blaster bolts and lightsaber strikes with little more than a scorch mark, and her brother had just destroyed a piece with a tap. Had he mastered the shatterpoint?
The academy Archives claimed that it was a lost and rare art, the ability to perceive points of weakness where a small amount of precisely applied force would unlock the unseen structures that bound together even the most indestructible materials and situations. The great Jedi Master Mace Windu, who had died in the Clone Wars, had been known to possess the gift. He had been the last.
Until Caedus.
*facepalm* What was even the point of the Purge? Honestly? I say AGAIN, Del Rey: Just because we now know what happened in the prequels does not mean all the characters should know. How would they have this information?
Additionally, while it's been a long time since I read Shatterpoint, Mace describes shatterpoints on page five of the book, and he talks about situations, not places. His brief definition is "Put simply: when I look at you through the Force, I can see where you break." Where YOU break, not your armor. To the Wook I go for more information.
The first quote in the Wook's article on shatterpoints is another quote from Mace: "I sometimes can see the weak places in an opponent - shatterpoints where the unbreakable can be broken. They can occur in individuals . . . and in events." Again, no mention of objects. Let's look a little further . . . Well, aside from the crap information from the crap Invincible, there's no mention of objects in the Wook's article, either. In other words, Denning just rewrote the definition of shatterpoint for his own purposes, and made it considerably more banal in the process. Thank you, Troy! You too, Del Rey continuity editors! It's nice to know that you aren't here merely to expand upon what we already know about the GFFA - you're here to change it at will! Like Traviss's "fixing" of Fenn Shysa's history!
Hey, while you're just rewriting things for the fun of it, can we rewrite that Mara-Jacen duel so that she isn't stupidly killed in a battle she'd already clearly won? Because if we're going to just write over previously canon definitions and storylines, maybe we could actually fix something instead of muddling it. Novel concept, I know.
Jaina shoots at Jacen. She mostly misses, but one mag-pellet - whatever those are - hit him in the shoulder. Apparently it smarts, because now Jacen's wielding his lightsaber one-handed.
On page 123, we are again treated to the phrase "three seconds." Get a new line, already.
Jacen kills all the Mandos. That's funny; in Revelation he ran from them, and one knee-capped him without receiving any retribution at all. Now Jacen's killing them all one-armed while under attack from Jaina. Is it even possible for these authors to get their story straight?
Chapter Nine
Back to Han and Luke and Leia; Han's POV. And in the very first paragraph, Han himself reflects on "his famous Solo luck." Yes, Troy, Han Solo is the bestest ever. WE KNOW.
More stupid battles. I can only read so many action scenes before my eyes glaze over. This book is testing my limits severely. Niathal and Daala's fleets arrive. Han calls them "the Conniver Sisters One and Two", and says that "the only side those two take is their own." Remember that, guys. And not for Han's far too self-conscious wit, either. His opinion on this matter will be interesting in light of later events.
Speaking of self-conscious wit: Han reflects on how the GA forces are more than a match for Niathal and Daala, especially with Gavin Darklighter commanding, then briefly wonders about "the level of Darklighter's commitment to his Darth-in-chief." Bada bing, bada boom. I remind you all, ladies and gentlemen, that this is the same author who brought us the epic phrase "Darth Wannabes" in Inferno. Dude, the EU already has an author far more talented with wordplay in the form of Timothy Zahn, and he doesn't overuse the technique, either. Your contributions in this area are both unneeded and sadly lacking.
Han also reflects that he's so afraid for Jaina, "he can feel his heart shaking." Please, Troy, I'm begging you. Read some how-to books on descriptive writing. Hearts don't shake. Describe how his heart hasn't stopped hammering since the mission was given the go ahead. Describe how it's only sheer force of will that keeps Han from vomiting on the control panel before him. Describe how his chest is so constricted with fear that his breath is coming in shallow gasps. Don't undermine your narrative by throwing in stupid, impossible descriptions like that.
Though I admit it's still not as bad as "he felt like the victim of a heart amputation." Nothing's that bad.
Han calls to Jag in blastboat number two and says they're going in. I mention this more because Jag is getting so little face time here that it's worth noting each appearance than for the sake of the plot. That's already compromised in a number of areas anyway.
Han refers to Fett as "Buckethead." I hate him too, Han, but if you can't be more original than that, shut up.
Threepio reports that "Master Skywalker is no longer with us." No, Troy; to Threepio, he's Master Luke. Always has been. Anyway, this "no longer with us" business:
. . . Leia called down, "Not dead, Han. He's in a . . . " She paused, searching for the word, then finally explained, "I don't know how to explain it. Luke's just sort of gone."
"Sort of gone?" Han echoed. He couldn't help himself - he had to look. "How can you be . . ."
Han let his sentence trail away, for Luke was sort of gone. His body remained strapped into his seat, with his hands resting on the systems console and his gaze fixed between the shield status display and the targeting screen. But it was like looking at one of those figures in the House of Plastex back on Coruscant. Luke wasn't breathing, he wasn't moving, he wasn't even blinking; he just wasn't there.
1) I'm giggling like mad right now. Leia "finally explained, 'I don't know how to explain it.'" She finally explained - that she didn't know how to explain. Honest to goodness, I can't stop laughing. This is a New York Times bestselling author. I don't know how to explain, she explained. Oh. There just aren't even words.
2) Three paragraphs, four italicized words.
3) House of Plastex, huh? Originality for the win, Troy! Only not really.
4) He has to be breathing. Not moving or blinking I can understand, and breathing at a very slow rate, sure. But if he doesn't breathe, he dies. Like I said, it's been a long time since I studied science, but I do remember that much biology.
Back to Jacen, his POV. We learn that the whole thing was Jacen's plan to get rid of the Moffs who'd been speaking against him. Huh. Seems like it would have been easier to Force-choke them. I know Jacen's back to loving everyone and everything, but there's not a lot of difference between setting someone up to be killed and pulling the trigger yourself. If you're going to make sure they die, why not take the route of least resistance and collaterol damage?
Jacen knows there's a sniper, but he does not know it's Jaina. He says he'll take care of the sniper himself. He and Jaina wind up fighting hand to hand, but they're so close that he doesn't see it's her. (So much for Force senses . . . ) He knocks her back a few paces and gets a good glimpse - and ta-da! It's Luke!
Just a few minutes earlier, Caedus had sensed his uncle's presence far above Nickel One, in the same blastboat as his mother, father, and Saba Sebatyne. And now here Luke was, inside the asteroid. Even Jedi Grand Masters could not be in two places at once - Caedus knew that - but he did not waste time being confused.
Two italics in one paragraph. And if Luke cannot be in two places at once, one of those places is an illusion. And since you already sensed Luke just a few minutes ago above the asteroid, which do you trust, your eyes or the Force? Didn't Obi-Wan say once, "Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them"? This really seems a pretty basic exercise in logic, if you ask me. But hey - good has been dumb so evil can triumph this whole series. Now it's the concluding book, therefore it's evil's turn to be dumb.
This time, his uncle would not care whether he survived as long as Caedus died, because now Luke knew the truth about who killed his wife.
1) Two italics in one sentence.
2) Interesting assumption; one might think that Luke could want to survive for the sake of not orphaning his young son entirely.
3) How does Jacen know that Luke knows who killed his wife? Luke found out for certain in Revelation through information that Shevu secretly transmitted to Ben. Unless this book later reveals that Jacen not only knew that Shevu was a double agent, but knew for certain that he had transmitted that exact bit of information and to whom he transmitted it, we have another major contradiction here, folks.
Amongst the dreck, I find an interesting piece of information:
His visions of late had been filled with his uncle's face - Luke Skywalker attacking him here on Nickel One, Luke firing on him from one of Fett's Bes'uliike, Luke sitting on Caedus's throne, claiming the New Empire as his own. Had he - Lord Caedus - finally put an end to those visions - finally ruled out the possibility of those futures becoming the future?
Since his visions of Luke have been masking Jaina, is Luke sitting on the throne of the New Empire confirmation of the long-held theory that the Fels ruling the Empire in Legacy do indeed come through Jag and Jaina both?
You know, I'm all for some Legacy set up, but this series sure has botched it.
Jaina takes a beskad from a dead Mandalorian's body and attacks Jacen with both it and her lightsaber:
Jaina did not even feel the beskad cleaving bone. She simply heard a voice - Jacen's voice - cry out in shock and pain; then an arm landed on her boots. In the next instant Caedus was whirling away, screaming and flapping a red stump, and something hot and wet splashed across Jaina's face and throat and began to burn like acid.
Could we get any more disgusting? (Silly question; we haven't even gotten to the big fight yet.) Stover writes stuff this graphic, but Stover also has strong characterization and story and doesn't contradict himself every other page, therefore his violence comes across as a genuine part of the story rather than cheap shock value.
Jacen recognizes Jaina at last - well, after some more brawling - and wants to know where Luke is. Jaina says right behind her:
That brought Caedus's gaze snapping back toward her, and Jaina realized she might have overplayed her hand. She still had both arms, but the fact that her brother remained standing at all proved how much greater his Force powers were than her own.
How do you figure, Jaina? Yes, you cut off his arm, and since it wasn't with a lightsaber, the wound isn't cauterized. That's definitely a big problem for him. Otherwise, I think the only damage you've inflicted is a kick to the chest, a relatively small thigh wound and throwing him across the room with the Force. You, on the other hand, have been kicked between the legs (I know that doesn't hurt girls as much as guys, but take it from someone who once fell badly on the bars in elementary school: it still hurts like hell), been kicked in the stomach, received a concussion and split your forehead on beskar armor when Jacen threw a Mando corpse at you, had ribs broken, and been electrocuted and thrown across the room by Force lightning. Jacen's an opponent to be reckoned with, all right, but the simple fact that he's still standing doesn't even come close to proving "how much greater his Force powers are." Actually, I'd say if you're still standing, your Force powers are greater than his. Is Denning just hoping that we'll be imbued with Jaina's improbable awe of Jacen and not pay attention to who actually gets hurt in these things?
Jaina retreats:
Caedus's voice sounded out in the forum, still deep and booming and strong. "Not her! Skywalker is the dangerous one."
Skywalker?
Was Jaina beginning to hear things now, too? Or was Caedus beginning to imagine them?
Um, Jaina? Remember Luke's new Force technique of masking you? How quickly they forget. Kids these days.
What's funnier is that over in Lit, the Invincible fans are making a big case of Jacen being full blown, screechingly insane in this book. Well, I'm on page 138 right now, and he hasn't been raving mad yet. Unbalanced, sure, but not insane. These same people argue that Luke's being portrayed awesomely in this book - look at his power! Look at him mask Jaina in the Force! Isn't it great? Guys, you can't have it both ways. If Jacen's insane for falling for Luke's illusions, then Luke's illusions aren't really that powerful anyway, are they? He's only playing with a madman. On the other hand, if Luke is as powerful as you claim, then Jacen doesn't need to be mad to believe what he sees. He should be putting more faith in the Force, of course, but he doesn't have to be insane to make a bad tactical choice, either.
Jacen retreats, and a Verpine finds Jaina and insists that she not follow Jacen to the infirmary, but rather go meet her extraction team who has come for her. Jaina protests, but feels her mother's insistence through the Force and reluctantly recalls that she's agreed to obey orders, so off she goes.
Chapter Ten
And here we are at perhaps the most appalling scene I've ever seen in any SW book - and yes, I've read the graphic violence of Traitor and Shatterpoint, Mara's stupidly out of character death, the implications of Luke/Callista cybersex, all that fun Killek stuff, and Kevin J. Anderson's work. This is worse.
Ben is manacled to a metal bunk in a cell, wearing only his underclothes, feeling that:
. . . the only mental state he had ever experienced was a smoky delirium so nightmarish that he never quite knew whether he was asleep or awake.
So this torture droid's been interrogating Ben over and over again, trying to get the location of the Jedi base. Ben can't remember how the interrogation sessions end; he assumes he simply passes out over and over again, and that the droid keeps coming back. He's been there in this state long enough that he actually has pressure sores on his back.
Then Tahiri comes in.
Tahiri is wearing a tight jumpsuit with a satin sheen to it, and the jumpsuit is open all the way down to her abdomen. She's wearing a musky perfume. When she speaks to Ben, she "purrs." (No, I'm not kidding.)
Quick pause to remind everyone: Tahiri is nearly 30. Ben is 14.
So. Tahiri begins applying bacta salve to Ben's pressure sores. Again. Nearly 30-year-old woman. Stroking the back of a 14-year-old boy. When he's lying down (chained) and only in his underwear. Appalled yet? Oh, no, my friends. We've barely started.
" . . . We just can't afford to take chances with big, strong Jedi Knights." She ran her hand down his bare shoulder and biceps - and let it linger there. "I'm sure you understand."
My disgust at the scene in general is momentarily sidetracked by a more professional disgust that Denning actually had her say "big, strong Jedi Knights." Ben's fourteen, not four. Make up your mind.
Back to the primary vileness:
Ben tries to talk reason to Tahiri about Jacen. Tahiri's not having any of it. Then:
Her hand moved lower on Ben's back and began to work on a sore under the waistband of his shorts.
. . .
Her hand remained beneath the waistband of Ben's shorts, but began to drift up toward his hip. "What is it that I want, Ben?"
Now Ben was really beginning to have trouble concentrating. "Uh, Tahiri?"
Her hand reached his hip bone, and her fingers began to drift over. "Yes?"
"You wouldn't be trying to seduce me, would you?"
"Ben, that's a terrible thing to say." Tahiri's hand remained beneath the waistband of his shorts. "You're only fourteen. Still a boy, really." She lifted her finger, raising the waistband. "Aren't you?"
I truly don't think I have ever been so angry reading a SW book. For anything.
I'm stopping there, but the scene does not. Tahiri traces circles on his skin, and says what if she is trying to seduce him? Isn't that nicer than torture? Wouldn't Ben rather give her the information in exchange for the seduction?
No, I'm not kidding. How I wish I was.
We get two longish paragraphs of Ben's introspection about wanting to say yes, how tempting it is, what an attractive older woman Tahiri is, how this might be the only chance he ever has anyway. But then he decides that to say yes to Tahiri, a Sith, would mean betraying who he is and doing what Jacen wants, and he refuses her.
Mr. Denning, are you honestly trying to show us Ben's moral superiority here? Because this is an outrageously, unbelievably wrong way to do it. And in a world where there are many, many genuine child predators who do try to seduce children Ben's age, I find it incredibly irresponsible of you to include such a scene in a Star Wars book. We're not watching Dateline. We're not reading a real life crime novel. We're reading Star Wars. You know, that movie series that is supposed to deal with hard issues in a clean enough way that people were actually shocked when the last movie was rated PG-13 instead of a mere PG, and this in a world where any movie rated less than R is in the minority. Material like this does not belong in this venue.
And even setting aside this filth, I'd like to point out that this is the second time in this series that Ben - a child - has been brutally and graphically tortured over a long period of time. Star Wars does child torture now. As well as child seduction. (Interesting that Troy Denning was responsible for all three atrocities.) Jacen has also tried to seduce Ben to the dark side of the Force, ushered him into a Gestapo-like police organization, thus putting him in a position where he not only winds up killing for the first time, but actually is trained to (and does) assassinate someone as a sharpshooter. And his mother is brutally murdered (by his cousin), and he finds the body.
He's a child. He's fourteen. What, did they go into this series saying, "Well, Luke and Mara only have one child, and we already have Skywalker descendants in the EU, but if we can't kill him, let's strip away every last bit of innocence from him and put him through hell - repeatedly. Oh, and while we're at it, let's disintegrate the Solo family, too! We can turn their only remaining son to the dark side, thus becoming everything his parents most fear and hate, and then we can have his twin sister kill him! That'll sell books!"
Yeah. Enjoy my $20 from this book's sale, Del Rey. It's the last you'll be getting in a long, long time.
So! Tahiri gets mad when Ben turns her down (he tells her she's too nice to be a Sith *rolls eyes*) and orders him to put on a pair of overalls so she doesn't have to look at his "disgusting sores." Ben's put into shock shackles and stun cuffs (what, you couldn't just say "stun shackles" as well? We had to read the awkward phrasing of "shock shackles"? Say that ten times fast! She sold shock shackles by the sea shore!) and Tahiri takes him through the prison. She also twice uses her remote to bring Ben to his knees with electric shocks. Guess we haven't seen Ben suffer enough yet.
So we find Ben's buddy, Shevu, in an infirmary. The MD droid (and btw, while I don't mind that designation, hasn't that always been written as Emdee before?) says that he should be able to resume interrogation tomorrow morning. Tahiri says, oh, no, now. The droid says Shevu's electrolytes are so far out of balance that "a substantial physical stress of that kind is likely to induce myocardial infarction." Yeah, you can guess the rest. Ben's choice is to talk or Tahiri tortures Shevu anyway. He says he still won't tell her anything, and she triggers his stun cuffs as both GAG guards fire their stun rifles at him.
Once Ben's awake again, so is Shevu. Ben apologizes to him, and Shevu says:
"Ben, don't. We're soldiers." Shevu's gaze slid to Ben. His eyes were glassy with pain and confusion, but there was also something more - forgiveness, perhaps, and . . . could it be pride? "You haven't told them anything, have you?"
This is such crap. All of it, all of the GAG business involving Ben in the first place. Child soldiers are the realm of hideous, conscienceless pseudo-military regimes, the sort that also engage in looting, kidnapping, torture, rape, and murder. Not sanctioned government agencies. Ben is not a soldier; he's a child to be protected by soldiers. He should never have been in GAG to begin with, and the soldiers who accepted him and treated him as an equal are not the good guys. They're as responsible for the hell he's been through as Jacen himself is. But apparently I'm supposed to be touched by the cameraderie. No, Del Rey. Not quite. Outraged, maybe, but not touched.
Tahiri tortures Shevu until he dies. I'm not describing what she does to him, because while it's not a wide variety of actions, the actions themselves make me sick to think about. We do, however, revisit the "she has lost the will to live" excuse. Shevu's been wounded, repeatedly tortured, and was practically at death's door before Tahiri started torturing him, but we read:
. . . Ben knew his friend well enough to realize that Shevu would rather die than be used to help Darth Caedus secure his hold on power. So when Tahiri pushed things a little too far, Shevu simply let go of living.
Noooo, he died. Because his electrolytes were out of balance enough that substantial physical stress induced myocardial infarction. Like the Emdee droid already told us. Like the Emdee droid tells us in the very next paragraph, as a matter of fact; Shevu "suffered a stress rupture of the aorta." Thanks for that armchair diagnosis, though, Ben.
And then, if our credulity hadn't been strained enough, "Tahiri's jaw fell, and her Force-aura grew cold with horror, and that was when Ben knew she did not like what she was becoming."
*facepalm* I'd believe it more if she hadn't just tortured Shevu at length without the tiniest bit of compunction.
Tahiri hits Ben across the face hard enough to rock the hoverchair she'd strapped him into, and Ben manages to use that to let himself loose from the chair, shackles, and cuffs, stun Tahiri, and escape with Shevu's body. Whatever.
Chapter Eleven
Chapter eleven is prefaced by a flashback of Jaina comforting Jacen after he accidentally cut off Tenel Ka's arm at the academy. Yes, I'm feeling suitably poignant enough to proceed with the story of the twins whose love turned to bitter hatred. Thank you for the written mood lighting. Let's just move on, shall we?
(Even though that incident was another prime moment of EU stupidity. Why weren't they using training sabers? Why don't all Jedi, even Masters, use training sabers when they're just sparring for practice? Why would you risk maiming or killing a friend when you can do the exact same activity without that risk?
Me: Jieh, want to go out for coffee?
LP: Gee, I don't know, Mei. Is there a chance one of us might be horribly injured or die while doing so?
Me: Of course! I wouldn't insult you by offering a fake coffee break!
LP: Silly me! How could I have assumed otherwise? Sure, let's go risk mutilation and death. Sounds like a fun afternoon!
Anyway . . . )
Here's the first paragraph of chapter eleven:
The stain ran across Jaina's jaw and neck down to her shoulder, a line of crimson ovals where she had been splattered by her brother's blood. She had tried to wash it off with soap and water, with surgical sanitizer, even with the enzobleach Hapan orderlies used to keep the Loyal Dragon's infirmary spotless. Now she was using a Relephonian sarsestone, literally trying to scour the spots away - but she might as well have been trying to rub off a blaster scar. Her efforts only seemed to make the stain brighter and redder.
Because we haven't had enough disturbing imagery to punctuate this joke of a plot yet.
Han and Leia enter. Han tells Jaina that "Luke didn't look this bad after the wampa tried to eat him." Because Luke hasn't suffered any equal or worse injuries since then! LotF authors, WE HAVE SEEN THE MOVIES. WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THEM. IT'S FORTY YEARS LATER. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.
Leia tells Jaina to stop scrubbing; she can't wash burns off her face. Jaina says no, it's Jacen's blood. Leia assures her that they'll take care of it. Jaina insists she's not crazy or shellshocked, it's Jacen's blood. We read:
"Okay, take it easy - we believe you." Han came around the bed, then took her arm and started her back toward it. "But it's not coming off. I'll ask Luke if he's got any special Sith-blood solvent."
Han's daughter is rather horribly wounded in a fight-to-kill encounter with her own brother and says her face is spattered with her brother's blood, and Han makes a joke about Sith-blood solvent? How does Denning think 1) that Han would ever, ever make such a joke about his children, and 2) that such a remark is not in incredibly poor taste no matter what?
Han and Leia try to point out how the concussion has scrambled Jaina's memory by asking if she remembers what she said to Jag and Zekk when she was extracted. Apparently Jaina suggested that the three of them take quarters together. Both Han and Leia are smirking a lot about this.
Okay. Let's stop right here for a moment. Even with a concussion, even delirious, why would Jaina say something like that? Something so completely far-fetched and out of place, with no basis in reality or relation to what's actually going on? Yes, people sometimes do utter non sequiturs under such circumstances, but wow, it really takes Denning's twisted little mind to write that in her dazed, injury-caused confusion, Jaina suggested a menage a trois (and yes, I do know how that should be punctuated, but I hate the character map and it hates me). Secondly, I think that if my parents overheard me suggesting such a thing to two guys, no matter what the circumstances, they would probably be far too embarrassed to ever bring it up, let alone smirk knowingly at me. I'm all for openness, but Denning's got a weird concept of just how open the Solo family apparently is.
Jaina still insists it's blood; Han and Leia still don't believe her. Jaina says that maybe the Force is trying to tell her something. Oy vey. We read:
"I can't be sure that I'm remembering this right, but I wasn't the only one who was confused at the end of the fight. After I cut off his arm, Caedus seemed surprised that it was me."
"What?" Han asked. "He didn't think a girl could do it?"
Where the hell did that line come from? "He didn't think a girl could do it?" "He didn't think a girl could do it?"
I'm sputtering in outrage. That is so completely out of character, so utterly impossible for Jacen to think even as a Sith Lord, so thoroughly ridiculous as to be unthinkable - and I mean that literally. No man in the Skywalker/Solo family would ever even think to say such a thing. This is Han Solo in whose mouth Denning just put those words. Han, whose wife is Leia Organa, whose daughter is Jaina, whose sister-in-law was Mara Jade. There are no words or phrases included here to let the reader know Han is joking - and even if he was, it's another joke in poor taste and badly timed - so I'm kind of left with the conclusion that Denning wrote him saying that as a genuine reaction. "What? He didn't think a girl could do it?"
I just - Wow. Let's just move on.
Jaina tentatively asks, "What if Jacen is still in there somewhere?" Han and Leia both vehemently deny any such possibility. Vehemently. Even trying to justify this with the thought that maybe they're utterly terrified of losing Jaina too, I cannot accept this as good characterization. Han and Leia are both arguing strongly in favor of killing their son, despite Jaina's expressed concern that he might still be redeemable. No. I'm sorry, but that's wrong.
Oy, now Fett wants to come in and talk to Jaina. They have a nice little conversation about Mirta and her team. Jaina resists the temptation to tell him that it was Mirta who spoiled the plan:
Her father, unfortunately, lacked Jaina's restraint. "You can't blame Jaina for that," he said. "The way I heard it, she would have had him if Mandalorians could follow orders."
Fett's eyes flashed. "Mandalorians don't follow Jedi orders," he said, speaking through clenched teeth. "We know how they treated the clones."
"Probably because they had a sense of who the clones were really serving," Leia countered. "Blind obedience deserves even less respect than mercenary - "
1) Fett's words contradict Mirta's. Of course, Mirta's contradicted her own earlier words, as well as those of the other Mandalorians, so we're kind of lost in a web of contradictions here.
2) The Jedi didn't mistreat the clones. In the movies I saw and the books I read, the Jedi treated the clones with respect and even affection.
3) Why are all the Mandalorians hung up on the clones?
4) Fett could possibly have an idea of what really happened between the Jedi and the clones in the Clone Wars, but if he does, it's from news reports way back when he was a kid, younger than Ben. He wasn't there. Han and Leia should hardly know anything. Because, you know, THE PURGE. I know that the Emperor and Vader couldn't have eliminated all information on the Jedi, but they both had strong personal reasons to do an excellent job of trying to do so. At the very least, most information about the Jedi of that era shouldn't be common knowledge. This makes me crazy, because Lucas himself handed us the best explanation of all for any contradictions or mistakes in continuity: The galactic government was overthrown and recreated by a Sith Lord who also massacred the Jedi and did his best to erase their memory from the galaxy; there should be a lot of gaps and misinformation between the OR timeline and the NR timeline. But no, Del Rey had to try to mesh everything perfectly.
Jaina scolds both her parents and Boba Fett for their childish behavior, and "all three fell silent and stared at one another." Heaven help me, I don't know if I'm going to make it to the end of this book.
Jaina tells Fett about Mirta (and calls him Boba, and he doesn't object *facepalm*). Luke comes in and basically tells Fett that not only was Mirta not their concern (what happened to the Luke of Balance Point who said, "All worlds are my concern"?), but that what happened was the Mandalorians' fault anyway. Fett starts to stalk off, but for some reason, Jaina's sudden decision that "not only could she not abide serving as his scapegoat any longer - but it might be dangerous to do so" makes her call him back and argue with him some more. Then Fett leaves. Not a moment too soon, says I.
Luke says that what's left of the Fifth Fleet is off to bomb Mandalore, and Bwua'tu, one of Jacen's admirals, is on his way to the Roche system, where Jacen was. She thinks that means Jacen's going to Coruscant. Luke thinks not.
Leia's eyes narrowed. "You've seen something, haven't you?" She pointed at the intelligence report in his hand. "And I'm not talking about something on a piece of flimsiplast."
"No, it's not an intelligence report." Luke stepped to Jaina's bed, his eyes fixed on the crimson stains running across her throat. "It's a lot more certain than that."
Whatever.
Chapter Twelve
Back to Ben, who walks into a bar.
No, really. He walks into a bar. Specifically, "the seedy cantina of the Nova Station refuelling depot", where he sits down at the bar. The bartender merely asks him what he wants. Ben orders "a Sapphire Fogblaster - spun, not mixed." The bartender's only objection to this fourteen-year-old boy ordering strong liquor is that he'd better have the credits. *facepalm*
Benalso feels like he's being watched, and the drink was what "his instructions had specified to order." Don't ask me what instructions; this book's narrative is so rushed that everything's being skipped over or explained after the fact.
We are told that Ben's never tasted a Fogblaster "or any other recreational intoxicant." Nice to know that at least the LotF authors haven't yet sent him on a bender. Just assassination, the loss of his mother, repeated torture, and attempted seduction. (Ben is tempted to try it, though.) We also learn that Ben doesn't hate, dislike, or even want to punish Tahiri, only to save her. You know what, I'm getting such mixed messages from each and every Jedi about what they want to do to whom, I'm lost. Luke wants to save Jacen, then he wants to kill him, then he wants to take him alive, then he wants to kill him. Ben wants to kill Jacen, but save Tahiri. Or maybe he wants to save Jacen now, too. I don't know. Jaina wants to kill Jacen, but she doesn't, but she does; it's dispassionate but it's also a personally outraged hatred that makes killing more than a necessity; she's sure he's all Caedus, then thinks maybe some Jacen too. The only ones who seem sure of anything are Han and Leia, and they're sure they want someone to kill their son, and would do it themselves if they could.
This is not the GFFA I know and love, I can tell you that much.
Well, now we learn that Ben's rescue instructions were "relayed over a 'borrowed' comlink by an anonymous Hapan Intelligence operative on Coruscant." Mmm.
Ben watches the band while he waits; "they were playing some sort of flighty, outdated rill-music that his mom had loved but always made him wince." That heavy-handed little generational gap reference might have worked, Troy - if Ben's mom hadn't been a special agent who was accustomed to going undercover as a professional dancer, and who had also been raised in the lap of luxury at the center of galactic civilization. I highly doubt she "loved" any music that could at any point in time be described as "flighty" and "outdated." Do your research, already.
Ben sees a pair of red-haired women approaching.
They were obviously Hapan. He could tell that much by their striking beauty and the stylish synthatex filght suits - one gold, one maroon - that they wore.
I guess only Hapan women are beautiful or wear synthatex flight suits. Sigh.
This pair also look very like Tenel Ka, and flirt madly with Ben while drinking his Fogblaster. Troy - Ben is FOURTEEN. You don't need to have women falling all over him - let alone a pair of twins. Geez, could you at least pull your fantasies from something classier than cheap beer commercials?
So! Not only do we have more girls who think Ben is just fantastic, they're also twins, and their names start with the same letter! They're Trista and Taryn! Not enough similarly named twins in the GFFA, I tell you. No, sir.
Ben glanced around the cantina again and saw that most eyes - especially human, male eyes - were openly staring in their direction. "I think we're being watched."
Trista rolled her eyes again. "Of course we are. If you're going to travel with us, you'd better get used to it."
"That's not the kind of watching I mean, Trista," Ben said. As the son of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy, he was no stranger to public attention himself.
1) These girls are not only ridiculous flirts, but egotistical ones as well.
2) Ben's remarkably clueless. Back before he was captured, he assumed that all the girls were staring at him because of his clothes. (Yeah, Denning. That's what we do. We stare at clothes and flirt and never, ever, engage in any sort of martial arts. Just flirting and drooling over clothes. We poor helpless females.) When Tahiri tried to seduce him, it took Ben a long time to figure out that's what she was doing. I mean, not her clothes, not her purring speech, not her perfume, not her stroking him - none of that triggered any recognition in him until she put her hand in his underwear. She walks in with that open flightsuit and Ben thought she must have come from some place hot, to have it open like that. No, I'm not kidding. Now he notices male eyes from all corners watching these girls who are flirting with him, and his comparison is "as the son of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy, he was no stranger to public attention himself." Not that kind of attention, Ben. I mourn your loss of innocence, but innocence isn't the same as just plain being dense.
"That's just our security team. We're Tenel Ka's cousins."
Ben scowled, instantly growing suspicious. "I didn't know she had cousins."
"Nobody knows. That's what makes us so useful."
1) Isn't that just so convenient. Troy, go look up 'deus ex machina' in your dictionary. No, really. Go on; I'll wait.
2) If nobody knows and that's what makes them so useful, why are they spilling that information to Ben two minutes after they first meet him?
3) Why does being Tenel Ka's unknown cousins make them useful? As security? If so, why do they have their own security teams? As doubles, like Padmé used? If so, why are they here instead of with her? Intelligence operatives? If so, why would the fact that they were Tenel Ka's cousins and no one knows it particularly useful? Simply as trusted confidants? Again, if so, why are they here instead of with her?
4) If Ben recognized how astoundingly similar to Tenel Ka their appearance was, how is it that no one on Hapes guesses they're related?
5) For that matter, IIRC, Hapan royalty is under a microscope from the cradle to the grave. How can there be any family members that no one knows about?
6) Tenel Ka's cousins? Really? Sigh.
These two have not been with Ben for five full minutes before they finish his Fogblaster and pull him to his feet. The Fogblaster was served in a glass "the size of a soup bowl," and the bartender literally handed Ben a bucket along with the drink, in case he "had a problem." I'm torn between two simultaneous questions: How are either of them still lucid after downing that much high potency liquor so quickly, and how are two scatter-brained lushes like this useful to anyone, let alone Tenel Ka?
They go to Trista and Taryn's skiff, and they shoo him off for a sanisteam (no sonic showers here, huh?), and tell him that he'll find:
". . . fresh undergarments and a clean robe in the sleeping cabin."
"Compliments of Her Majesty herself," Taryn added, smiling. "She seems quite fond of you."
1) No duh, Taryn. He's the only son of Tenel Ka's mentor.
2) Nice to know that Tenel Ka cares enough about Ben to send him underwear and a robe instead of a full set of ordinary clothes. *facepalm*
Taryn cringed. "Looks like I'll be needing the sanisteam next." She followed Ben aft and pulled a pair of grease-stained utilities from the sleeping cabin closet, then started forward to change in the lounge area. "No peeking, Ben."
"I wouldn't think of it." Ben was starting to see her flirtatious h umor for what it was - a way to put others both at ease and a bit off guard. Clearly the sisters were the best kind of intelligence operatives . . . the kind that nobody would suspect. He reached for the door, then added, "On my own, anyway. Thanks for the idea!"
Taryn's jaw dropped.
1) Well, at least Ben's not being super dense any more.
2) Even if the flirting's a charade, gulping down that giant Fogblaster wasn't, and that's not great intelligence operative behavior.
3) If Taryn's really that self-possessed an intelligence agent, her jaw wouldn't drop, no matter how dense Ben was being before. She'd wink or laugh or grin maybe, but not be shocked speechless.
By the time Ben had finished his sanisteam, Trista was warming the engines for departure. He wrapped a towel around his waist and slipped out of a refresher compartment - then noticed that the door to the main cabin was slightly ajar.
"Sorry!" Taryn called. "I don't know how that was left open!"
"Must have been a stowaway," Ben answered with a sly smile.
He knew she hadn't actually peeked - he would have sensed that in the Force - but he liked the way she talked to him. She treated him like an adult instead of a boy. He could imagine her joking the same way with Zekk . . . but definitely not Jag. Jag was too full of himself for joking around. Ben honestly couldn't understand how Jaina could stand his I'm a big ace pilot routine. Maybe it was just because Jag was the first eligible man Jaina had met who was nearly the pilot her father was.
1) Not being dense doesn't mean turning instantly into a cheesy underage Casanova.
2) No, actually, she's not treating you like an adult at all, Ben, and you should realize the difference. Sure, she's been flirting with you, but she's also talked down to you from the moment she appeared.
3) Wait, where does Ben's disdain for Jag come from? I haven't seen any hint of this before.
4) Jag is an ace pilot. Has been since long before you were born. Show some respect, Ben.
5) So, Jaina's got daddy issues, huh?
I don't much like the way Denning apparently views the characters of the GFFA.
Ben senses a droid on the skiff's hull after they take off, and the antitheft measure of electrifying the hull (I think) doesn't work. Ben says:
"Well, someone has to go out there. And since I'm the only one who can Force-stick himself to the exterior of a hull, it should probably be me."
Because apparently their otherwise very well-equipped skiff is lacking basic mag-clamps for outside maintenence. There aren't even any on the top of the line EV suit Ben puts on to go out. *facepalm*
Less than a second later the flurry of bolts died away and a droid hand - a black, skeletal droid hand - shot down from the upper edge of the hatch and opened fire with a standard blaster pistol. Ben activated Tahiri's lightsaber and began to bat blaster bolts back out into space, but his mouth had suddenly gone dry, and he felt an irrational panic rising inside.
He recognized that hand - could never forget that particular hand. Inside those fingertips were a dozen different anguishes - electrodes, needles, tiny torches, acid pads, and so much more. It was all he could do to keep analyzing the driod's firing patterns - because he was terrified of that hand on a level far below thought, on a level so deep he associated the mere sight of it with suffering the way a ronto associates its driver's face with food.
I'm quoting this just out of a sense of fairness. I think this passage is really well done, and I've found so little to like in this book that I may as well note the good I do find.
So yeah, it's Ben's old buddy, the torture droid. Ben Force-blasts him off the skiff - of course - and one of the girls - they're interchangable - says that a Star Destroyer just came out of hyperspace and is between them and the other skiff. Ben recognizes it as the Anakin Solo.
"Fierfek!" Ben cursed. "Are they going after the Beam Racer?"
"I wouldn't say going after," answered Trista. "Their tractor beam already has a lock."
"So they're going to capture Prince Isolder?" Ben gasped.
"They already have," Taryn replied. "There's only one escape now, and I truly hope he doesn't take it. Isolder has always been a good uncle to us."
Funny, that's the first mention we've had of Isolder actually being in the area. Must be a casualty of the rushed narrative.
Anyway, Isolder's been captured. Ben wants to go help him. Tristan and Tarragon or whoever they are say nope, not a chance; Tenel Ka's going to be mad enough as it is. End chapter.
Chapter Thirteen
Back to Jacen; his POV, a week after losing his arm. He's pacing around a medward talking about the glories of modern medicine to taunt Mirta, who's in a bed. Jacen says they could even have reattached his arm if he'd been willing to lie around in a bed himself for a couple of months. Apparently he's not interested in a prosthetic, either.
So Mirta's spinal cord is ruptured, Jacen's holding a hypo full of something or other that can rebuild the nerves if used before the damage grows irreversible, and he's using that as incentive to get information from her. Mirta only says something that I think is meant to be offensive, but if "borked" is a real swear word in the GFFA, they're worse off than I thought.
Tahiri interrupts them. Jacen says that Mirta's going to tell him who cut off his arm, Tahiri says she'd think he'd know that, he says yeah, but appearances can be deceiving. Scintillating dialogue, I'm telling you.
Tahiri says they've captured Isolder; they can get the location of the secret Jedi base that way. Tahiri angsts about killing the last interrogation subject she worked on. Jacen sympathizes, then gets impatient. Jacen also says he already knows the location of the Jedi base:
Caedus closed his eyes and turned in the direction of Hapan space. "In the Transitory Mists, on this side of the Consortium, somewhere between Roqoo Depot and Terephon, I would say." He opened his eyes and turned to Tahiri. "I'll grow more precise when we get closer."
Tahiri's brow shot up so high that the scars on her forehead laid at an angle. She looked like she wanted to ask a dozen different questions, but all she seemed able to manage was "How?"
Caedus smiled. "It's in my blood, Tahiri."
He left it at that - this was neither the time nor the place to explain how a Nightsister blood trail worked.
*facepalm*
Jacen and Tahiri talk about how to make Mirta talk. Since she can't feel anything below her shoulders, they decide that disfigurement is a good idea. Jacen also tries to make her think that Fett sent her on her mission knowing it would fail, so that Mirta's "Mandalorian nature" will get her to do away with Fett, I imagine.
"The threat alone will never work on this subject," he said. "I'll have someone bring a mirrpanel so she can see what we're doing to her."
Just say "mirror", okay, Troy? "Mirrpanel" is like when Hambly said "flat, shallow cakes of wax" for "candles."
He heads out, only to find someone at the door saying the Moffs want a sample of Mirta's blood for their genetic databank. Tahiri wants to know if it has something to do with the Empire's nanokiller. The medic says yes, the Moffs want to develop a strain targeting Boba Fett. She says she can get it done in a day's time. Jacen says good idea. Mirta says no, she'll say who was on her team if they don't take samples and she gets her injection, and she tells Jacen that Jaina was the only Jedi with the team.
Jacen doesn't buy that, because at the very least he believes that Luke was with her and Mirta must be lying about there being only one Jedi there. He says the medic can give Mirta her injection, but take the sample. He and Tahiri exit. More banal dialogue, culminating with:
"Have Mirta transferred to the Anakin Solo, and inform the Moffs that I would like them to place their assets at my disposal and select a command committee to accompany us."
"Very well," Tahiri said. "Shall I inform them of our objective?"
"My uncle." Caedus began to walk again. "I've been growing more and more convinced that killing Luke Skywalker is the key to winning this war - and I'm sure of it now."
Yawn.
I think I'll go finish up my beta work now. I can't read any more of this book without a breather.
Invincible review, part 1
Invincible review, part 3
Invincible review, part 4
Chapter Seven
Jaina lands. There's a big gun between her and where she needs to go, with twelve stormtroopers manning it. Jaina decides they're all going to die, so that they can't report her and botch her mission:
It made her wonder how different she was from her brother, really. Perhaps she and Caedus were just soldiers in the ancient war between Sith and Jedi. Jaina would have liked to believe that, because then she could pretend this was just something demanded by the war instead of a choice she had made out of hatred for what her brother had become.
But Jacen had been a Jedi once. Now he was a Sith. That made him a traitor, and didn't traitors deserve to be hated? They were breakers of vows, betrayers of trusts . . . corrupters of the innocent and murderers of their beloved. Killing them was more than necessary. It was a duty, an act of deterrence and military preclusion, but also of outrage and reprisal, and that made it personal.
1) Two paragraphs. Three italicized words.
2) These paragraphs are on page 98. Back on page 33, when Han said that Caedus was just the monster who'd taken over Jacen's dead body, we read:
Jaina did not know how to react to the raw hatred in his voice, perhaps because she had decided dispassionately that it was appropriate to put a blaster bolt through her twin brother's head.
Notice not only the wording, but which word is italicized. The italics are not mine. Why aren't the author and editors catching these blatant and idiotic contradictions?
3) Luke's not allowed to go after Jacen, because it's too personal for him; he might act out of vengeance because Jacen murdered Luke's beloved wife of twenty years. But Jaina sits here and thinks at length about how Jacen deserves not only death, but to be hated for personal reasons, and die for those personal reasons. AGAIN, why are the author and editors not catching these contradictions? Are they stupid? Do they think we are? Or are they truly so careless about their work?
4) If we're really looking at a situation where there is no one capable of taking out Jacen without it being personal, which is what it's looking like now, for heaven's sake, send Luke. All his visions say he'd win a fight like that. He has beaten Caedus before; he wiped the floor with him in Inferno. He's more skilled, more powerful, and more experienced than Jaina. If you're only playing the odds with how Jacen's killer will emerge from this, at least play better odds that Jacen will in fact be killed.
Jaina assesses the situation:
Twelve stormtroopers, one Jedi assassin in a damaged dropsuit, three seconds to do the job. No problem.
Sigh.
1) While I hate Traviss's adulation of the Mandos, it works both ways. Don't build up the Jedi beyond reason, Troy.
2) For all the Mary Sue accusations I've seen about Zahn and Mara, if this was Zahn writing Mara in the same situation, Mara would be carefully and realistically analyzing the threat, possible tactics, odds of success, and a backup plan in case of failure. Denning writes Jaina egotistically dismissing all of that with a blasé "no problem" and most people in Lit seem to adore him. *facepalm*
3) What's he got with this "three seconds" business? Honest to goodness, this is at least the third time in 100 pages that Denning has specifically said "three seconds." Quit repeating yourself.
Jaina uses the Force to sabotage their weapons into an overload or something; they blow up and take the stormtroopers with them. A squad of Mandos comes looking for the noise - I assume - and Jaina thinks that the smart thing to do would be to leave them to die (she overheated a fusion core or something; Denning's descriptions of what she's doing are boring me to tears), but she "could not let herself become quite that ruthless." Mm-hmm.
Besides, the leader was a female in familiar yellow-orange armor with gold sigils. And - assuming Jaina was the lucky one who walked away from the fight with her brother - the last thing she wanted was to have Boba Fett after her for letting his granddaughter die.
Why? He's supposedly been after your brother for literally beating his daughter to death during a police interrogation for several books now, and nothing's happened. Besides which, have none of these authors head of the boy who cried wolf?
Everyone gets away from whatever dangerous thing Jaina did, and she and Mirta chat. Jaina asks Mirta if her husband has been killed in the skirmishes. We read:
"He'll make it," she said, "if there's enough left of our Tra'kad to get past the Imperials."
"There will be," Jaina assured her. It had been less than a month since she had been on Mandalore drinking at the wedding of Mirta Gev and Ghes Orade, and she had never seen two people so much in love - aside from her parents, of course.
Of course, Troy. Of course. Quit with the Mando concessions, already. Jaina knew those two for a couple of freaking weeks. She has no real idea at all of how much in love they are; she has no baseline comparison for either of them separately, let alone as a couple. And naturally, if we're going to mention the Mandos, that Mando couple must be more in love than anyone Jaina's ever seen - more than her uncle and aunt, more than any of her family's many, many married friends, more than she ever loved Jag, more than anyone! But not more than Han and Leia! Because Denning's an H/Ler. We KNOW.
Jaina says she's not going to help the Mandos take out the Moffs, then:
"Actually," Mirta said, "you are."
She reached for her equipment pouch - and found her hand suddenly frozen in midair by the Force.
"You really don't think I'm going to let you pull a thermal detonator, do you?" Jaina asked. "That trick's as old as my mother."
*facepalm* I say to you as I said to Traviss, Mr. Denning: Jaina did not experience the events of the movies. Stop making stupid injokes for fans (who, I might add, almost certainly know the movies better than you anyway) and write the damned characters. Jaina's not going to refer to a tiny fraction of her mother's actions in one skirmish that happened years before Jaina was even born. And when that tiny thing her mother did was the oldest trick in the book anyway, I doubt Jaina's even remembering that her mother once used it too.
Mirta convinces Jaina to help them because Fett's tapped into the surveillance system and Mirta shows Jaina that Jacen's alone in his quarters. Jaina says only if they do things her way.
"As long as your way includes killing the Moffs,sure," replied Mirta. "We don't mind following a Jedi Knight. They used to make good generals, after all."
I don't even know where to start. *sigh* Okay, for one, not all Mandos are Jango clones or their descendants; for another, as far as I know those clones were not themselves automatically Mandos. And in Revelation, not a single Mando had a single halfway complimentary thing to say about any Jedi. The closest they came was referring to Jaina as their very own pet trained Jedi. Now Mirta praises their military prowess and says Mandos don't mind following them.
Honestly, is anyone paying any attention at all to what happens from one book to the next? Forget that - just keep one book internally consistent! Just ONE!
Chapter Eight
So. Bored.
Seriously, I thought I could zip through a book of this length. No such luck. I'm quite bored and having to force myself to not skim.
Okay, still Jaina's POV. She and Mirta are eavesdropping on the Moffs, who are saying nothing of any interest whatsoever. The Hapans, Daala, and Niathal are converging on them; they're not going to give Jacen "the dozens of Star Destroyers we have in the Roche system"; they're not going to turn the Empire over "to the bad seed of a common spicerunner and his gutter-crawling Princess." The Mandalorians are going to kill them all in a few minutes. Jaina protests because Jacen's still an unknown factor. The Mandos do not care.
A little more angsting on Jaina's part about killing her brother. She fully expects to be tainted by the dark side if she wins. I say again, if being tainted is inevitable, send the one with the best chance to win regardless. That's Luke, not Jaina. You are not building a good case for Jaina to kill Jacen, Denning.
Jaina recalls again her time as a Killek Joiner.
On page 117, the possessive plural is punctuated as the possessive singular: Moff's. How I hate that error.
Jacen arrives, lightsaber blazing. He apparently doesn't yet know Jaina's there. He wallops Mirta, then goes after another Mando:
Then Caedus did a peculiar thing. He paused for an instant, glowering at the Mandalorian's blue armor as though offended by its color. Jaina saw the chance for a difficult oblique shot past Roegr's helmet and swung the QuietSnipe over.
Caedus brought the pommel of his lightsaber down, striking the breastplate not all that hard, not quiet in the center . . . and shattering it. The beskar didn't burst apart or send shards flying, or do anything remotely explosive. It just crumbled away from the vacproof underliner, leaving Roegr faceplate-to-chin with his soon-to-be killer.
Jaina was too disciplined to let her shock distract her, but she was shocked. Beskar'gam was some of the toughest armor in the galaxy, able to deflect blaster bolts and lightsaber strikes with little more than a scorch mark, and her brother had just destroyed a piece with a tap. Had he mastered the shatterpoint?
The academy Archives claimed that it was a lost and rare art, the ability to perceive points of weakness where a small amount of precisely applied force would unlock the unseen structures that bound together even the most indestructible materials and situations. The great Jedi Master Mace Windu, who had died in the Clone Wars, had been known to possess the gift. He had been the last.
Until Caedus.
*facepalm* What was even the point of the Purge? Honestly? I say AGAIN, Del Rey: Just because we now know what happened in the prequels does not mean all the characters should know. How would they have this information?
Additionally, while it's been a long time since I read Shatterpoint, Mace describes shatterpoints on page five of the book, and he talks about situations, not places. His brief definition is "Put simply: when I look at you through the Force, I can see where you break." Where YOU break, not your armor. To the Wook I go for more information.
The first quote in the Wook's article on shatterpoints is another quote from Mace: "I sometimes can see the weak places in an opponent - shatterpoints where the unbreakable can be broken. They can occur in individuals . . . and in events." Again, no mention of objects. Let's look a little further . . . Well, aside from the crap information from the crap Invincible, there's no mention of objects in the Wook's article, either. In other words, Denning just rewrote the definition of shatterpoint for his own purposes, and made it considerably more banal in the process. Thank you, Troy! You too, Del Rey continuity editors! It's nice to know that you aren't here merely to expand upon what we already know about the GFFA - you're here to change it at will! Like Traviss's "fixing" of Fenn Shysa's history!
Hey, while you're just rewriting things for the fun of it, can we rewrite that Mara-Jacen duel so that she isn't stupidly killed in a battle she'd already clearly won? Because if we're going to just write over previously canon definitions and storylines, maybe we could actually fix something instead of muddling it. Novel concept, I know.
Jaina shoots at Jacen. She mostly misses, but one mag-pellet - whatever those are - hit him in the shoulder. Apparently it smarts, because now Jacen's wielding his lightsaber one-handed.
On page 123, we are again treated to the phrase "three seconds." Get a new line, already.
Jacen kills all the Mandos. That's funny; in Revelation he ran from them, and one knee-capped him without receiving any retribution at all. Now Jacen's killing them all one-armed while under attack from Jaina. Is it even possible for these authors to get their story straight?
Chapter Nine
Back to Han and Luke and Leia; Han's POV. And in the very first paragraph, Han himself reflects on "his famous Solo luck." Yes, Troy, Han Solo is the bestest ever. WE KNOW.
More stupid battles. I can only read so many action scenes before my eyes glaze over. This book is testing my limits severely. Niathal and Daala's fleets arrive. Han calls them "the Conniver Sisters One and Two", and says that "the only side those two take is their own." Remember that, guys. And not for Han's far too self-conscious wit, either. His opinion on this matter will be interesting in light of later events.
Speaking of self-conscious wit: Han reflects on how the GA forces are more than a match for Niathal and Daala, especially with Gavin Darklighter commanding, then briefly wonders about "the level of Darklighter's commitment to his Darth-in-chief." Bada bing, bada boom. I remind you all, ladies and gentlemen, that this is the same author who brought us the epic phrase "Darth Wannabes" in Inferno. Dude, the EU already has an author far more talented with wordplay in the form of Timothy Zahn, and he doesn't overuse the technique, either. Your contributions in this area are both unneeded and sadly lacking.
Han also reflects that he's so afraid for Jaina, "he can feel his heart shaking." Please, Troy, I'm begging you. Read some how-to books on descriptive writing. Hearts don't shake. Describe how his heart hasn't stopped hammering since the mission was given the go ahead. Describe how it's only sheer force of will that keeps Han from vomiting on the control panel before him. Describe how his chest is so constricted with fear that his breath is coming in shallow gasps. Don't undermine your narrative by throwing in stupid, impossible descriptions like that.
Though I admit it's still not as bad as "he felt like the victim of a heart amputation." Nothing's that bad.
Han calls to Jag in blastboat number two and says they're going in. I mention this more because Jag is getting so little face time here that it's worth noting each appearance than for the sake of the plot. That's already compromised in a number of areas anyway.
Han refers to Fett as "Buckethead." I hate him too, Han, but if you can't be more original than that, shut up.
Threepio reports that "Master Skywalker is no longer with us." No, Troy; to Threepio, he's Master Luke. Always has been. Anyway, this "no longer with us" business:
. . . Leia called down, "Not dead, Han. He's in a . . . " She paused, searching for the word, then finally explained, "I don't know how to explain it. Luke's just sort of gone."
"Sort of gone?" Han echoed. He couldn't help himself - he had to look. "How can you be . . ."
Han let his sentence trail away, for Luke was sort of gone. His body remained strapped into his seat, with his hands resting on the systems console and his gaze fixed between the shield status display and the targeting screen. But it was like looking at one of those figures in the House of Plastex back on Coruscant. Luke wasn't breathing, he wasn't moving, he wasn't even blinking; he just wasn't there.
1) I'm giggling like mad right now. Leia "finally explained, 'I don't know how to explain it.'" She finally explained - that she didn't know how to explain. Honest to goodness, I can't stop laughing. This is a New York Times bestselling author. I don't know how to explain, she explained. Oh. There just aren't even words.
2) Three paragraphs, four italicized words.
3) House of Plastex, huh? Originality for the win, Troy! Only not really.
4) He has to be breathing. Not moving or blinking I can understand, and breathing at a very slow rate, sure. But if he doesn't breathe, he dies. Like I said, it's been a long time since I studied science, but I do remember that much biology.
Back to Jacen, his POV. We learn that the whole thing was Jacen's plan to get rid of the Moffs who'd been speaking against him. Huh. Seems like it would have been easier to Force-choke them. I know Jacen's back to loving everyone and everything, but there's not a lot of difference between setting someone up to be killed and pulling the trigger yourself. If you're going to make sure they die, why not take the route of least resistance and collaterol damage?
Jacen knows there's a sniper, but he does not know it's Jaina. He says he'll take care of the sniper himself. He and Jaina wind up fighting hand to hand, but they're so close that he doesn't see it's her. (So much for Force senses . . . ) He knocks her back a few paces and gets a good glimpse - and ta-da! It's Luke!
Just a few minutes earlier, Caedus had sensed his uncle's presence far above Nickel One, in the same blastboat as his mother, father, and Saba Sebatyne. And now here Luke was, inside the asteroid. Even Jedi Grand Masters could not be in two places at once - Caedus knew that - but he did not waste time being confused.
Two italics in one paragraph. And if Luke cannot be in two places at once, one of those places is an illusion. And since you already sensed Luke just a few minutes ago above the asteroid, which do you trust, your eyes or the Force? Didn't Obi-Wan say once, "Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them"? This really seems a pretty basic exercise in logic, if you ask me. But hey - good has been dumb so evil can triumph this whole series. Now it's the concluding book, therefore it's evil's turn to be dumb.
This time, his uncle would not care whether he survived as long as Caedus died, because now Luke knew the truth about who killed his wife.
1) Two italics in one sentence.
2) Interesting assumption; one might think that Luke could want to survive for the sake of not orphaning his young son entirely.
3) How does Jacen know that Luke knows who killed his wife? Luke found out for certain in Revelation through information that Shevu secretly transmitted to Ben. Unless this book later reveals that Jacen not only knew that Shevu was a double agent, but knew for certain that he had transmitted that exact bit of information and to whom he transmitted it, we have another major contradiction here, folks.
Amongst the dreck, I find an interesting piece of information:
His visions of late had been filled with his uncle's face - Luke Skywalker attacking him here on Nickel One, Luke firing on him from one of Fett's Bes'uliike, Luke sitting on Caedus's throne, claiming the New Empire as his own. Had he - Lord Caedus - finally put an end to those visions - finally ruled out the possibility of those futures becoming the future?
Since his visions of Luke have been masking Jaina, is Luke sitting on the throne of the New Empire confirmation of the long-held theory that the Fels ruling the Empire in Legacy do indeed come through Jag and Jaina both?
You know, I'm all for some Legacy set up, but this series sure has botched it.
Jaina takes a beskad from a dead Mandalorian's body and attacks Jacen with both it and her lightsaber:
Jaina did not even feel the beskad cleaving bone. She simply heard a voice - Jacen's voice - cry out in shock and pain; then an arm landed on her boots. In the next instant Caedus was whirling away, screaming and flapping a red stump, and something hot and wet splashed across Jaina's face and throat and began to burn like acid.
Could we get any more disgusting? (Silly question; we haven't even gotten to the big fight yet.) Stover writes stuff this graphic, but Stover also has strong characterization and story and doesn't contradict himself every other page, therefore his violence comes across as a genuine part of the story rather than cheap shock value.
Jacen recognizes Jaina at last - well, after some more brawling - and wants to know where Luke is. Jaina says right behind her:
That brought Caedus's gaze snapping back toward her, and Jaina realized she might have overplayed her hand. She still had both arms, but the fact that her brother remained standing at all proved how much greater his Force powers were than her own.
How do you figure, Jaina? Yes, you cut off his arm, and since it wasn't with a lightsaber, the wound isn't cauterized. That's definitely a big problem for him. Otherwise, I think the only damage you've inflicted is a kick to the chest, a relatively small thigh wound and throwing him across the room with the Force. You, on the other hand, have been kicked between the legs (I know that doesn't hurt girls as much as guys, but take it from someone who once fell badly on the bars in elementary school: it still hurts like hell), been kicked in the stomach, received a concussion and split your forehead on beskar armor when Jacen threw a Mando corpse at you, had ribs broken, and been electrocuted and thrown across the room by Force lightning. Jacen's an opponent to be reckoned with, all right, but the simple fact that he's still standing doesn't even come close to proving "how much greater his Force powers are." Actually, I'd say if you're still standing, your Force powers are greater than his. Is Denning just hoping that we'll be imbued with Jaina's improbable awe of Jacen and not pay attention to who actually gets hurt in these things?
Jaina retreats:
Caedus's voice sounded out in the forum, still deep and booming and strong. "Not her! Skywalker is the dangerous one."
Skywalker?
Was Jaina beginning to hear things now, too? Or was Caedus beginning to imagine them?
Um, Jaina? Remember Luke's new Force technique of masking you? How quickly they forget. Kids these days.
What's funnier is that over in Lit, the Invincible fans are making a big case of Jacen being full blown, screechingly insane in this book. Well, I'm on page 138 right now, and he hasn't been raving mad yet. Unbalanced, sure, but not insane. These same people argue that Luke's being portrayed awesomely in this book - look at his power! Look at him mask Jaina in the Force! Isn't it great? Guys, you can't have it both ways. If Jacen's insane for falling for Luke's illusions, then Luke's illusions aren't really that powerful anyway, are they? He's only playing with a madman. On the other hand, if Luke is as powerful as you claim, then Jacen doesn't need to be mad to believe what he sees. He should be putting more faith in the Force, of course, but he doesn't have to be insane to make a bad tactical choice, either.
Jacen retreats, and a Verpine finds Jaina and insists that she not follow Jacen to the infirmary, but rather go meet her extraction team who has come for her. Jaina protests, but feels her mother's insistence through the Force and reluctantly recalls that she's agreed to obey orders, so off she goes.
Chapter Ten
And here we are at perhaps the most appalling scene I've ever seen in any SW book - and yes, I've read the graphic violence of Traitor and Shatterpoint, Mara's stupidly out of character death, the implications of Luke/Callista cybersex, all that fun Killek stuff, and Kevin J. Anderson's work. This is worse.
Ben is manacled to a metal bunk in a cell, wearing only his underclothes, feeling that:
. . . the only mental state he had ever experienced was a smoky delirium so nightmarish that he never quite knew whether he was asleep or awake.
So this torture droid's been interrogating Ben over and over again, trying to get the location of the Jedi base. Ben can't remember how the interrogation sessions end; he assumes he simply passes out over and over again, and that the droid keeps coming back. He's been there in this state long enough that he actually has pressure sores on his back.
Then Tahiri comes in.
Tahiri is wearing a tight jumpsuit with a satin sheen to it, and the jumpsuit is open all the way down to her abdomen. She's wearing a musky perfume. When she speaks to Ben, she "purrs." (No, I'm not kidding.)
Quick pause to remind everyone: Tahiri is nearly 30. Ben is 14.
So. Tahiri begins applying bacta salve to Ben's pressure sores. Again. Nearly 30-year-old woman. Stroking the back of a 14-year-old boy. When he's lying down (chained) and only in his underwear. Appalled yet? Oh, no, my friends. We've barely started.
" . . . We just can't afford to take chances with big, strong Jedi Knights." She ran her hand down his bare shoulder and biceps - and let it linger there. "I'm sure you understand."
My disgust at the scene in general is momentarily sidetracked by a more professional disgust that Denning actually had her say "big, strong Jedi Knights." Ben's fourteen, not four. Make up your mind.
Back to the primary vileness:
Ben tries to talk reason to Tahiri about Jacen. Tahiri's not having any of it. Then:
Her hand moved lower on Ben's back and began to work on a sore under the waistband of his shorts.
. . .
Her hand remained beneath the waistband of Ben's shorts, but began to drift up toward his hip. "What is it that I want, Ben?"
Now Ben was really beginning to have trouble concentrating. "Uh, Tahiri?"
Her hand reached his hip bone, and her fingers began to drift over. "Yes?"
"You wouldn't be trying to seduce me, would you?"
"Ben, that's a terrible thing to say." Tahiri's hand remained beneath the waistband of his shorts. "You're only fourteen. Still a boy, really." She lifted her finger, raising the waistband. "Aren't you?"
I truly don't think I have ever been so angry reading a SW book. For anything.
I'm stopping there, but the scene does not. Tahiri traces circles on his skin, and says what if she is trying to seduce him? Isn't that nicer than torture? Wouldn't Ben rather give her the information in exchange for the seduction?
No, I'm not kidding. How I wish I was.
We get two longish paragraphs of Ben's introspection about wanting to say yes, how tempting it is, what an attractive older woman Tahiri is, how this might be the only chance he ever has anyway. But then he decides that to say yes to Tahiri, a Sith, would mean betraying who he is and doing what Jacen wants, and he refuses her.
Mr. Denning, are you honestly trying to show us Ben's moral superiority here? Because this is an outrageously, unbelievably wrong way to do it. And in a world where there are many, many genuine child predators who do try to seduce children Ben's age, I find it incredibly irresponsible of you to include such a scene in a Star Wars book. We're not watching Dateline. We're not reading a real life crime novel. We're reading Star Wars. You know, that movie series that is supposed to deal with hard issues in a clean enough way that people were actually shocked when the last movie was rated PG-13 instead of a mere PG, and this in a world where any movie rated less than R is in the minority. Material like this does not belong in this venue.
And even setting aside this filth, I'd like to point out that this is the second time in this series that Ben - a child - has been brutally and graphically tortured over a long period of time. Star Wars does child torture now. As well as child seduction. (Interesting that Troy Denning was responsible for all three atrocities.) Jacen has also tried to seduce Ben to the dark side of the Force, ushered him into a Gestapo-like police organization, thus putting him in a position where he not only winds up killing for the first time, but actually is trained to (and does) assassinate someone as a sharpshooter. And his mother is brutally murdered (by his cousin), and he finds the body.
He's a child. He's fourteen. What, did they go into this series saying, "Well, Luke and Mara only have one child, and we already have Skywalker descendants in the EU, but if we can't kill him, let's strip away every last bit of innocence from him and put him through hell - repeatedly. Oh, and while we're at it, let's disintegrate the Solo family, too! We can turn their only remaining son to the dark side, thus becoming everything his parents most fear and hate, and then we can have his twin sister kill him! That'll sell books!"
Yeah. Enjoy my $20 from this book's sale, Del Rey. It's the last you'll be getting in a long, long time.
So! Tahiri gets mad when Ben turns her down (he tells her she's too nice to be a Sith *rolls eyes*) and orders him to put on a pair of overalls so she doesn't have to look at his "disgusting sores." Ben's put into shock shackles and stun cuffs (what, you couldn't just say "stun shackles" as well? We had to read the awkward phrasing of "shock shackles"? Say that ten times fast! She sold shock shackles by the sea shore!) and Tahiri takes him through the prison. She also twice uses her remote to bring Ben to his knees with electric shocks. Guess we haven't seen Ben suffer enough yet.
So we find Ben's buddy, Shevu, in an infirmary. The MD droid (and btw, while I don't mind that designation, hasn't that always been written as Emdee before?) says that he should be able to resume interrogation tomorrow morning. Tahiri says, oh, no, now. The droid says Shevu's electrolytes are so far out of balance that "a substantial physical stress of that kind is likely to induce myocardial infarction." Yeah, you can guess the rest. Ben's choice is to talk or Tahiri tortures Shevu anyway. He says he still won't tell her anything, and she triggers his stun cuffs as both GAG guards fire their stun rifles at him.
Once Ben's awake again, so is Shevu. Ben apologizes to him, and Shevu says:
"Ben, don't. We're soldiers." Shevu's gaze slid to Ben. His eyes were glassy with pain and confusion, but there was also something more - forgiveness, perhaps, and . . . could it be pride? "You haven't told them anything, have you?"
This is such crap. All of it, all of the GAG business involving Ben in the first place. Child soldiers are the realm of hideous, conscienceless pseudo-military regimes, the sort that also engage in looting, kidnapping, torture, rape, and murder. Not sanctioned government agencies. Ben is not a soldier; he's a child to be protected by soldiers. He should never have been in GAG to begin with, and the soldiers who accepted him and treated him as an equal are not the good guys. They're as responsible for the hell he's been through as Jacen himself is. But apparently I'm supposed to be touched by the cameraderie. No, Del Rey. Not quite. Outraged, maybe, but not touched.
Tahiri tortures Shevu until he dies. I'm not describing what she does to him, because while it's not a wide variety of actions, the actions themselves make me sick to think about. We do, however, revisit the "she has lost the will to live" excuse. Shevu's been wounded, repeatedly tortured, and was practically at death's door before Tahiri started torturing him, but we read:
. . . Ben knew his friend well enough to realize that Shevu would rather die than be used to help Darth Caedus secure his hold on power. So when Tahiri pushed things a little too far, Shevu simply let go of living.
Noooo, he died. Because his electrolytes were out of balance enough that substantial physical stress induced myocardial infarction. Like the Emdee droid already told us. Like the Emdee droid tells us in the very next paragraph, as a matter of fact; Shevu "suffered a stress rupture of the aorta." Thanks for that armchair diagnosis, though, Ben.
And then, if our credulity hadn't been strained enough, "Tahiri's jaw fell, and her Force-aura grew cold with horror, and that was when Ben knew she did not like what she was becoming."
*facepalm* I'd believe it more if she hadn't just tortured Shevu at length without the tiniest bit of compunction.
Tahiri hits Ben across the face hard enough to rock the hoverchair she'd strapped him into, and Ben manages to use that to let himself loose from the chair, shackles, and cuffs, stun Tahiri, and escape with Shevu's body. Whatever.
Chapter Eleven
Chapter eleven is prefaced by a flashback of Jaina comforting Jacen after he accidentally cut off Tenel Ka's arm at the academy. Yes, I'm feeling suitably poignant enough to proceed with the story of the twins whose love turned to bitter hatred. Thank you for the written mood lighting. Let's just move on, shall we?
(Even though that incident was another prime moment of EU stupidity. Why weren't they using training sabers? Why don't all Jedi, even Masters, use training sabers when they're just sparring for practice? Why would you risk maiming or killing a friend when you can do the exact same activity without that risk?
Me: Jieh, want to go out for coffee?
LP: Gee, I don't know, Mei. Is there a chance one of us might be horribly injured or die while doing so?
Me: Of course! I wouldn't insult you by offering a fake coffee break!
LP: Silly me! How could I have assumed otherwise? Sure, let's go risk mutilation and death. Sounds like a fun afternoon!
Anyway . . . )
Here's the first paragraph of chapter eleven:
The stain ran across Jaina's jaw and neck down to her shoulder, a line of crimson ovals where she had been splattered by her brother's blood. She had tried to wash it off with soap and water, with surgical sanitizer, even with the enzobleach Hapan orderlies used to keep the Loyal Dragon's infirmary spotless. Now she was using a Relephonian sarsestone, literally trying to scour the spots away - but she might as well have been trying to rub off a blaster scar. Her efforts only seemed to make the stain brighter and redder.
Because we haven't had enough disturbing imagery to punctuate this joke of a plot yet.
Han and Leia enter. Han tells Jaina that "Luke didn't look this bad after the wampa tried to eat him." Because Luke hasn't suffered any equal or worse injuries since then! LotF authors, WE HAVE SEEN THE MOVIES. WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THEM. IT'S FORTY YEARS LATER. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.
Leia tells Jaina to stop scrubbing; she can't wash burns off her face. Jaina says no, it's Jacen's blood. Leia assures her that they'll take care of it. Jaina insists she's not crazy or shellshocked, it's Jacen's blood. We read:
"Okay, take it easy - we believe you." Han came around the bed, then took her arm and started her back toward it. "But it's not coming off. I'll ask Luke if he's got any special Sith-blood solvent."
Han's daughter is rather horribly wounded in a fight-to-kill encounter with her own brother and says her face is spattered with her brother's blood, and Han makes a joke about Sith-blood solvent? How does Denning think 1) that Han would ever, ever make such a joke about his children, and 2) that such a remark is not in incredibly poor taste no matter what?
Han and Leia try to point out how the concussion has scrambled Jaina's memory by asking if she remembers what she said to Jag and Zekk when she was extracted. Apparently Jaina suggested that the three of them take quarters together. Both Han and Leia are smirking a lot about this.
Okay. Let's stop right here for a moment. Even with a concussion, even delirious, why would Jaina say something like that? Something so completely far-fetched and out of place, with no basis in reality or relation to what's actually going on? Yes, people sometimes do utter non sequiturs under such circumstances, but wow, it really takes Denning's twisted little mind to write that in her dazed, injury-caused confusion, Jaina suggested a menage a trois (and yes, I do know how that should be punctuated, but I hate the character map and it hates me). Secondly, I think that if my parents overheard me suggesting such a thing to two guys, no matter what the circumstances, they would probably be far too embarrassed to ever bring it up, let alone smirk knowingly at me. I'm all for openness, but Denning's got a weird concept of just how open the Solo family apparently is.
Jaina still insists it's blood; Han and Leia still don't believe her. Jaina says that maybe the Force is trying to tell her something. Oy vey. We read:
"I can't be sure that I'm remembering this right, but I wasn't the only one who was confused at the end of the fight. After I cut off his arm, Caedus seemed surprised that it was me."
"What?" Han asked. "He didn't think a girl could do it?"
Where the hell did that line come from? "He didn't think a girl could do it?" "He didn't think a girl could do it?"
I'm sputtering in outrage. That is so completely out of character, so utterly impossible for Jacen to think even as a Sith Lord, so thoroughly ridiculous as to be unthinkable - and I mean that literally. No man in the Skywalker/Solo family would ever even think to say such a thing. This is Han Solo in whose mouth Denning just put those words. Han, whose wife is Leia Organa, whose daughter is Jaina, whose sister-in-law was Mara Jade. There are no words or phrases included here to let the reader know Han is joking - and even if he was, it's another joke in poor taste and badly timed - so I'm kind of left with the conclusion that Denning wrote him saying that as a genuine reaction. "What? He didn't think a girl could do it?"
I just - Wow. Let's just move on.
Jaina tentatively asks, "What if Jacen is still in there somewhere?" Han and Leia both vehemently deny any such possibility. Vehemently. Even trying to justify this with the thought that maybe they're utterly terrified of losing Jaina too, I cannot accept this as good characterization. Han and Leia are both arguing strongly in favor of killing their son, despite Jaina's expressed concern that he might still be redeemable. No. I'm sorry, but that's wrong.
Oy, now Fett wants to come in and talk to Jaina. They have a nice little conversation about Mirta and her team. Jaina resists the temptation to tell him that it was Mirta who spoiled the plan:
Her father, unfortunately, lacked Jaina's restraint. "You can't blame Jaina for that," he said. "The way I heard it, she would have had him if Mandalorians could follow orders."
Fett's eyes flashed. "Mandalorians don't follow Jedi orders," he said, speaking through clenched teeth. "We know how they treated the clones."
"Probably because they had a sense of who the clones were really serving," Leia countered. "Blind obedience deserves even less respect than mercenary - "
1) Fett's words contradict Mirta's. Of course, Mirta's contradicted her own earlier words, as well as those of the other Mandalorians, so we're kind of lost in a web of contradictions here.
2) The Jedi didn't mistreat the clones. In the movies I saw and the books I read, the Jedi treated the clones with respect and even affection.
3) Why are all the Mandalorians hung up on the clones?
4) Fett could possibly have an idea of what really happened between the Jedi and the clones in the Clone Wars, but if he does, it's from news reports way back when he was a kid, younger than Ben. He wasn't there. Han and Leia should hardly know anything. Because, you know, THE PURGE. I know that the Emperor and Vader couldn't have eliminated all information on the Jedi, but they both had strong personal reasons to do an excellent job of trying to do so. At the very least, most information about the Jedi of that era shouldn't be common knowledge. This makes me crazy, because Lucas himself handed us the best explanation of all for any contradictions or mistakes in continuity: The galactic government was overthrown and recreated by a Sith Lord who also massacred the Jedi and did his best to erase their memory from the galaxy; there should be a lot of gaps and misinformation between the OR timeline and the NR timeline. But no, Del Rey had to try to mesh everything perfectly.
Jaina scolds both her parents and Boba Fett for their childish behavior, and "all three fell silent and stared at one another." Heaven help me, I don't know if I'm going to make it to the end of this book.
Jaina tells Fett about Mirta (and calls him Boba, and he doesn't object *facepalm*). Luke comes in and basically tells Fett that not only was Mirta not their concern (what happened to the Luke of Balance Point who said, "All worlds are my concern"?), but that what happened was the Mandalorians' fault anyway. Fett starts to stalk off, but for some reason, Jaina's sudden decision that "not only could she not abide serving as his scapegoat any longer - but it might be dangerous to do so" makes her call him back and argue with him some more. Then Fett leaves. Not a moment too soon, says I.
Luke says that what's left of the Fifth Fleet is off to bomb Mandalore, and Bwua'tu, one of Jacen's admirals, is on his way to the Roche system, where Jacen was. She thinks that means Jacen's going to Coruscant. Luke thinks not.
Leia's eyes narrowed. "You've seen something, haven't you?" She pointed at the intelligence report in his hand. "And I'm not talking about something on a piece of flimsiplast."
"No, it's not an intelligence report." Luke stepped to Jaina's bed, his eyes fixed on the crimson stains running across her throat. "It's a lot more certain than that."
Whatever.
Chapter Twelve
Back to Ben, who walks into a bar.
No, really. He walks into a bar. Specifically, "the seedy cantina of the Nova Station refuelling depot", where he sits down at the bar. The bartender merely asks him what he wants. Ben orders "a Sapphire Fogblaster - spun, not mixed." The bartender's only objection to this fourteen-year-old boy ordering strong liquor is that he'd better have the credits. *facepalm*
Benalso feels like he's being watched, and the drink was what "his instructions had specified to order." Don't ask me what instructions; this book's narrative is so rushed that everything's being skipped over or explained after the fact.
We are told that Ben's never tasted a Fogblaster "or any other recreational intoxicant." Nice to know that at least the LotF authors haven't yet sent him on a bender. Just assassination, the loss of his mother, repeated torture, and attempted seduction. (Ben is tempted to try it, though.) We also learn that Ben doesn't hate, dislike, or even want to punish Tahiri, only to save her. You know what, I'm getting such mixed messages from each and every Jedi about what they want to do to whom, I'm lost. Luke wants to save Jacen, then he wants to kill him, then he wants to take him alive, then he wants to kill him. Ben wants to kill Jacen, but save Tahiri. Or maybe he wants to save Jacen now, too. I don't know. Jaina wants to kill Jacen, but she doesn't, but she does; it's dispassionate but it's also a personally outraged hatred that makes killing more than a necessity; she's sure he's all Caedus, then thinks maybe some Jacen too. The only ones who seem sure of anything are Han and Leia, and they're sure they want someone to kill their son, and would do it themselves if they could.
This is not the GFFA I know and love, I can tell you that much.
Well, now we learn that Ben's rescue instructions were "relayed over a 'borrowed' comlink by an anonymous Hapan Intelligence operative on Coruscant." Mmm.
Ben watches the band while he waits; "they were playing some sort of flighty, outdated rill-music that his mom had loved but always made him wince." That heavy-handed little generational gap reference might have worked, Troy - if Ben's mom hadn't been a special agent who was accustomed to going undercover as a professional dancer, and who had also been raised in the lap of luxury at the center of galactic civilization. I highly doubt she "loved" any music that could at any point in time be described as "flighty" and "outdated." Do your research, already.
Ben sees a pair of red-haired women approaching.
They were obviously Hapan. He could tell that much by their striking beauty and the stylish synthatex filght suits - one gold, one maroon - that they wore.
I guess only Hapan women are beautiful or wear synthatex flight suits. Sigh.
This pair also look very like Tenel Ka, and flirt madly with Ben while drinking his Fogblaster. Troy - Ben is FOURTEEN. You don't need to have women falling all over him - let alone a pair of twins. Geez, could you at least pull your fantasies from something classier than cheap beer commercials?
So! Not only do we have more girls who think Ben is just fantastic, they're also twins, and their names start with the same letter! They're Trista and Taryn! Not enough similarly named twins in the GFFA, I tell you. No, sir.
Ben glanced around the cantina again and saw that most eyes - especially human, male eyes - were openly staring in their direction. "I think we're being watched."
Trista rolled her eyes again. "Of course we are. If you're going to travel with us, you'd better get used to it."
"That's not the kind of watching I mean, Trista," Ben said. As the son of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy, he was no stranger to public attention himself.
1) These girls are not only ridiculous flirts, but egotistical ones as well.
2) Ben's remarkably clueless. Back before he was captured, he assumed that all the girls were staring at him because of his clothes. (Yeah, Denning. That's what we do. We stare at clothes and flirt and never, ever, engage in any sort of martial arts. Just flirting and drooling over clothes. We poor helpless females.) When Tahiri tried to seduce him, it took Ben a long time to figure out that's what she was doing. I mean, not her clothes, not her purring speech, not her perfume, not her stroking him - none of that triggered any recognition in him until she put her hand in his underwear. She walks in with that open flightsuit and Ben thought she must have come from some place hot, to have it open like that. No, I'm not kidding. Now he notices male eyes from all corners watching these girls who are flirting with him, and his comparison is "as the son of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy, he was no stranger to public attention himself." Not that kind of attention, Ben. I mourn your loss of innocence, but innocence isn't the same as just plain being dense.
"That's just our security team. We're Tenel Ka's cousins."
Ben scowled, instantly growing suspicious. "I didn't know she had cousins."
"Nobody knows. That's what makes us so useful."
1) Isn't that just so convenient. Troy, go look up 'deus ex machina' in your dictionary. No, really. Go on; I'll wait.
2) If nobody knows and that's what makes them so useful, why are they spilling that information to Ben two minutes after they first meet him?
3) Why does being Tenel Ka's unknown cousins make them useful? As security? If so, why do they have their own security teams? As doubles, like Padmé used? If so, why are they here instead of with her? Intelligence operatives? If so, why would the fact that they were Tenel Ka's cousins and no one knows it particularly useful? Simply as trusted confidants? Again, if so, why are they here instead of with her?
4) If Ben recognized how astoundingly similar to Tenel Ka their appearance was, how is it that no one on Hapes guesses they're related?
5) For that matter, IIRC, Hapan royalty is under a microscope from the cradle to the grave. How can there be any family members that no one knows about?
6) Tenel Ka's cousins? Really? Sigh.
These two have not been with Ben for five full minutes before they finish his Fogblaster and pull him to his feet. The Fogblaster was served in a glass "the size of a soup bowl," and the bartender literally handed Ben a bucket along with the drink, in case he "had a problem." I'm torn between two simultaneous questions: How are either of them still lucid after downing that much high potency liquor so quickly, and how are two scatter-brained lushes like this useful to anyone, let alone Tenel Ka?
They go to Trista and Taryn's skiff, and they shoo him off for a sanisteam (no sonic showers here, huh?), and tell him that he'll find:
". . . fresh undergarments and a clean robe in the sleeping cabin."
"Compliments of Her Majesty herself," Taryn added, smiling. "She seems quite fond of you."
1) No duh, Taryn. He's the only son of Tenel Ka's mentor.
2) Nice to know that Tenel Ka cares enough about Ben to send him underwear and a robe instead of a full set of ordinary clothes. *facepalm*
Taryn cringed. "Looks like I'll be needing the sanisteam next." She followed Ben aft and pulled a pair of grease-stained utilities from the sleeping cabin closet, then started forward to change in the lounge area. "No peeking, Ben."
"I wouldn't think of it." Ben was starting to see her flirtatious h umor for what it was - a way to put others both at ease and a bit off guard. Clearly the sisters were the best kind of intelligence operatives . . . the kind that nobody would suspect. He reached for the door, then added, "On my own, anyway. Thanks for the idea!"
Taryn's jaw dropped.
1) Well, at least Ben's not being super dense any more.
2) Even if the flirting's a charade, gulping down that giant Fogblaster wasn't, and that's not great intelligence operative behavior.
3) If Taryn's really that self-possessed an intelligence agent, her jaw wouldn't drop, no matter how dense Ben was being before. She'd wink or laugh or grin maybe, but not be shocked speechless.
By the time Ben had finished his sanisteam, Trista was warming the engines for departure. He wrapped a towel around his waist and slipped out of a refresher compartment - then noticed that the door to the main cabin was slightly ajar.
"Sorry!" Taryn called. "I don't know how that was left open!"
"Must have been a stowaway," Ben answered with a sly smile.
He knew she hadn't actually peeked - he would have sensed that in the Force - but he liked the way she talked to him. She treated him like an adult instead of a boy. He could imagine her joking the same way with Zekk . . . but definitely not Jag. Jag was too full of himself for joking around. Ben honestly couldn't understand how Jaina could stand his I'm a big ace pilot routine. Maybe it was just because Jag was the first eligible man Jaina had met who was nearly the pilot her father was.
1) Not being dense doesn't mean turning instantly into a cheesy underage Casanova.
2) No, actually, she's not treating you like an adult at all, Ben, and you should realize the difference. Sure, she's been flirting with you, but she's also talked down to you from the moment she appeared.
3) Wait, where does Ben's disdain for Jag come from? I haven't seen any hint of this before.
4) Jag is an ace pilot. Has been since long before you were born. Show some respect, Ben.
5) So, Jaina's got daddy issues, huh?
I don't much like the way Denning apparently views the characters of the GFFA.
Ben senses a droid on the skiff's hull after they take off, and the antitheft measure of electrifying the hull (I think) doesn't work. Ben says:
"Well, someone has to go out there. And since I'm the only one who can Force-stick himself to the exterior of a hull, it should probably be me."
Because apparently their otherwise very well-equipped skiff is lacking basic mag-clamps for outside maintenence. There aren't even any on the top of the line EV suit Ben puts on to go out. *facepalm*
Less than a second later the flurry of bolts died away and a droid hand - a black, skeletal droid hand - shot down from the upper edge of the hatch and opened fire with a standard blaster pistol. Ben activated Tahiri's lightsaber and began to bat blaster bolts back out into space, but his mouth had suddenly gone dry, and he felt an irrational panic rising inside.
He recognized that hand - could never forget that particular hand. Inside those fingertips were a dozen different anguishes - electrodes, needles, tiny torches, acid pads, and so much more. It was all he could do to keep analyzing the driod's firing patterns - because he was terrified of that hand on a level far below thought, on a level so deep he associated the mere sight of it with suffering the way a ronto associates its driver's face with food.
I'm quoting this just out of a sense of fairness. I think this passage is really well done, and I've found so little to like in this book that I may as well note the good I do find.
So yeah, it's Ben's old buddy, the torture droid. Ben Force-blasts him off the skiff - of course - and one of the girls - they're interchangable - says that a Star Destroyer just came out of hyperspace and is between them and the other skiff. Ben recognizes it as the Anakin Solo.
"Fierfek!" Ben cursed. "Are they going after the Beam Racer?"
"I wouldn't say going after," answered Trista. "Their tractor beam already has a lock."
"So they're going to capture Prince Isolder?" Ben gasped.
"They already have," Taryn replied. "There's only one escape now, and I truly hope he doesn't take it. Isolder has always been a good uncle to us."
Funny, that's the first mention we've had of Isolder actually being in the area. Must be a casualty of the rushed narrative.
Anyway, Isolder's been captured. Ben wants to go help him. Tristan and Tarragon or whoever they are say nope, not a chance; Tenel Ka's going to be mad enough as it is. End chapter.
Chapter Thirteen
Back to Jacen; his POV, a week after losing his arm. He's pacing around a medward talking about the glories of modern medicine to taunt Mirta, who's in a bed. Jacen says they could even have reattached his arm if he'd been willing to lie around in a bed himself for a couple of months. Apparently he's not interested in a prosthetic, either.
So Mirta's spinal cord is ruptured, Jacen's holding a hypo full of something or other that can rebuild the nerves if used before the damage grows irreversible, and he's using that as incentive to get information from her. Mirta only says something that I think is meant to be offensive, but if "borked" is a real swear word in the GFFA, they're worse off than I thought.
Tahiri interrupts them. Jacen says that Mirta's going to tell him who cut off his arm, Tahiri says she'd think he'd know that, he says yeah, but appearances can be deceiving. Scintillating dialogue, I'm telling you.
Tahiri says they've captured Isolder; they can get the location of the secret Jedi base that way. Tahiri angsts about killing the last interrogation subject she worked on. Jacen sympathizes, then gets impatient. Jacen also says he already knows the location of the Jedi base:
Caedus closed his eyes and turned in the direction of Hapan space. "In the Transitory Mists, on this side of the Consortium, somewhere between Roqoo Depot and Terephon, I would say." He opened his eyes and turned to Tahiri. "I'll grow more precise when we get closer."
Tahiri's brow shot up so high that the scars on her forehead laid at an angle. She looked like she wanted to ask a dozen different questions, but all she seemed able to manage was "How?"
Caedus smiled. "It's in my blood, Tahiri."
He left it at that - this was neither the time nor the place to explain how a Nightsister blood trail worked.
*facepalm*
Jacen and Tahiri talk about how to make Mirta talk. Since she can't feel anything below her shoulders, they decide that disfigurement is a good idea. Jacen also tries to make her think that Fett sent her on her mission knowing it would fail, so that Mirta's "Mandalorian nature" will get her to do away with Fett, I imagine.
"The threat alone will never work on this subject," he said. "I'll have someone bring a mirrpanel so she can see what we're doing to her."
Just say "mirror", okay, Troy? "Mirrpanel" is like when Hambly said "flat, shallow cakes of wax" for "candles."
He heads out, only to find someone at the door saying the Moffs want a sample of Mirta's blood for their genetic databank. Tahiri wants to know if it has something to do with the Empire's nanokiller. The medic says yes, the Moffs want to develop a strain targeting Boba Fett. She says she can get it done in a day's time. Jacen says good idea. Mirta says no, she'll say who was on her team if they don't take samples and she gets her injection, and she tells Jacen that Jaina was the only Jedi with the team.
Jacen doesn't buy that, because at the very least he believes that Luke was with her and Mirta must be lying about there being only one Jedi there. He says the medic can give Mirta her injection, but take the sample. He and Tahiri exit. More banal dialogue, culminating with:
"Have Mirta transferred to the Anakin Solo, and inform the Moffs that I would like them to place their assets at my disposal and select a command committee to accompany us."
"Very well," Tahiri said. "Shall I inform them of our objective?"
"My uncle." Caedus began to walk again. "I've been growing more and more convinced that killing Luke Skywalker is the key to winning this war - and I'm sure of it now."
Yawn.
I think I'll go finish up my beta work now. I can't read any more of this book without a breather.
Invincible review, part 1
Invincible review, part 3
Invincible review, part 4