(no subject)
Title: Inside The Lines
Pairing: Gabilliam (Gabe Saporta/William Beckett)
Rating: 'hard' PG
Warnings: Mental disease, brief mentions of drugs & alcohol
Summary: Gabe had held William that day, held him as he cried like the sad, scared, six year old boy he believed he was at that moment in time. Gabe remembers that day like it was yesterday despite all the months it's been, mostly because that's the day he realized he was falling in love with William.
Word Count: 1782
Author's Note: This was a prompt from fourtysteps and I totally was gonna just post it as a comment but it ended up being longer than I intended so...here ya go! ( It's my first time actually posting to the comm other than in prompt threads and that was always anon. Hope you enjoy :3)
It would just take a few quick steps. A few quick, practiced steps and he would be out the door, on the way to his car and able to go home. To put some liquor in his tea just so he could sleep a little easier tonight. But he knew, boy did he know considering his heart was trying to jump out of his corrupted ribs, that the closer he got to that door, the heavier his steps would get.
And heavier did they get, ha! Heavy would be an understatement. He felt like his feet were lead as he leaned against the doorframe of the rec room. Gabe sighed heavily as he watched the boy (really more of a man but he seemed to be favoring Billy today who really was more of a boy) sitting at the coffee table with a coloring book and crayons, totally content with practicing staying inside the lines. Inside the lines…Gabe’s thoughts trailed off from a moment and he wanted to laugh, not because it was funny, but because it was sad to see a 22 year old man trying to stay inside the lines when his brain was constantly criss-crossing and mixing him up.
He thought they had made so much progress, everyday William had been staying himself more and more, and he had been staying inside the lines instead of drifting off into other people.
The man had gone almost a full two days as himself and Gabe couldn't believe it was happening, it was a fucking miracle, is what he yelled in his apartment when he got home last night, because really, it was.
For as long as he'd been working here he'd never seen someone make such bounds. William tried so hard, he wanted to be better…well, not better, because he seemed to finally understand that he couldn’t get “better,” but if he worked hard, he could get to a point where he could at least function in society. He just needed the right mix of drugs to fix the imbalance in his brain and the right coping strategies when everything didn’t feel like it was working right.
But just as it had happened, it had all been torn down the moment William's drugged out, alcoholic mother had shown up, demanding to see her son. His mother, who wasn’t even fit to be called that, save for biological reasons, has screamed and yelled and carried on. Gabe was almost positive there was a restraining order out against her but paper hardly ever stopped anyone that strung out. Gabe hated that woman; he despised every fiber of her being. She had tainted a beautiful soul, she was the reason William was like this what with all the drinking and drugs she did while she was carrying him. She was unfit to ever even be called a mother.
William had been raised by his grandmother most of his life until it was too much, until she realized she couldn’t take care of him on her own. So that’s when she brought him here. Gabe didn’t work here when William first started coming here; in fact, he’d only been in high school then. But when he finally finished school and started working here, when he was assigned to William’s case, that’s when his life changed. He’d watched as William would make strides in treatment, he’d see the smile on his grandmother’s face when he would tell her how he was improving, and he’d seen how supportive she was even when things would go bad. She was a good woman and it was more than obvious that she loved her grandson very much no matter who he thought he was. She loved him unconditionally, regardless of his mental state. And William loved her right back; every one of his personalities loved her, something that was uncommon among patients with his condition.
William’s whole life had revolved around that woman, even if he didn’t really know it. The day she died, the day Gabe got that phone call, he thought he’d lose William forever, he thought that was it, William would never get better after this because no one would come to visit him, he had lost his biggest support system. Gabe had held William that day, held him as he cried like the sad, scared, six year old boy he believed he was at that moment in time. Gabe remembers that day like it was yesterday despite all the months it’s been, mostly because that’s the day he realized he was falling in love with William.
But William was a determined little bugger. He told Gabe that he wasn’t going to get up, that he knew his grandmother was still watching and that she wanted him, more than anything, to get better. So while they waited for the police all Gabe could do was sit back and watch William unravel and recall all these memories and feel so, so guilty for letting that kind, old woman down. He was letting her grandson come undone. She probably hated him now. All of William's progress was reversed in a matter of minutes and he had danced between so many frames of mind in the short time he saw his mother that Gabe had almost lost count.
The only real positive thing Gabe could take from all of it was that he'd managed to get Damien, William's anger, under control before he got too far and hurt anyone more than his therapist who was now harboring a black eye along with his wounded heart.
He doesn't know how he let himself fall for a patient but he feels like he should regret it now more than ever considering his heart is way more than dented as he watches William with a sad smile. He can't seem to regret it though when William finally notices him and looks up, smiling brightly and waving Gabe over.
Gabe takes careful steps closer, trying to plan out his words but it seems he's sitting across from the boy before he knows it and a purple crayon is being shoved into his hands.
“Hello William,” Gabe offers a small smile with his words and chuckles softly when William’s face scrunches up.
“Gabey, we’ve been over this like a quadrillion times! You know I hate being called William,” he spits the name like poison off his tongue, “Mommy only calls my that when I’m in really, really, really, really big trouble.”
“So sorry, how could I forget? What I meant was hello Billy,” Gabe’s smile widens as he watches William continue to color. He can see the mans tongue poking out from between his lips as he concentrates on the page in front of him and he can’t tear his eyes away.
Suddenly William turns the coloring book around and gathers up his crayons, moving to sit on the other side of the table, uncomfortably close in Gabe’s mind because he can smell William and William always smells good. He just wants to reach out and touch that long hair. He really, really just wants to reach out and grab that face and kiss him but he just, he can’t! And it’s killing him.
“Now you can color too Gabey,” William grins up at him before he starts coloring again.
“I actually…I should probably get going Billy,” Gabe manages out and William looks at him with big brown eyes, he looks like he’s going to cry at Gabe’s words, “I’ve got to get home and it’s almost time for you to go to bed.”
“Just five more minutes?” William whines and Gabe can’t even deny him when he’s making that face.
“Alright, five more minutes,” Gabe settles on and William squeals happily before going back to his coloring page.
Gabe starts coloring absently, he can’t get images from earlier out of his head and he wishes so desperately that none of it ever happened, that William hadn’t come out of his room to see what all the commotion was about. If Gabe had been with William, if he’d just kept him inside, then they wouldn’t be sitting here like this right now. They’d probably be talking about music or books or movies, anything William loved, he could go on for hours when it was about something he loved.
“What happen to you eye?”
William’s voice jars him from his thoughts and Gabe just shrugs, “Got hurt. I’m okay though.”
He watches a frown set on William’s face but has to drop his eyes, goes back to coloring and he thinks William does too until he feels those eyes still staring at him. He doesn’t even have to time to ask William what’s wrong before the boy is leaning forward and pressing his lips to Gabe’s bruise.
Gabe is absolutely speechless.
“That’s what grandma used to do to me when I would get boo-boos. I’m no grandma but I hope it helped,” William offers a big, toothy grin before coloring again and Gabe can’t decide if he wants to smile or cry right now.
“I think you fixed it. Good job,” Gabe says and pats William’s back before standing up. The room feels like it’s suffocating him all the sudden, he has to get out.
“Where are you going?” William pouts, “Has it been five minutes already?!”
“It’s been ten actually,” Gabe says, “I gave you an extra five since you were being so good but I’ve gotta go home now and you need to go to bed.”
“But Gabey!”
“But nothing, c’mon, help me clean up these crayons. We can color your whole session tomorrow if you want,” Gabe offers to try and persuade the boy and by the way his eyes light up Gabe knows it worked.
“Really?!” William says and he scrambles to clean up the crayons.
“Really,” Gabe’s face breaks into a small smile when he sees William so happy, “And I’ll tell you what. If you’re really, super good for the nurses and you go straight to bed like a good boy I’ll get you a new coloring book and a big box of sixty-four crayons because these are looking a little broken.”
“You’d get me the big box with the sharpener on the back?!” William looks like he could just fall over and die he’s so happy, “Gabey, you’re my best friend!” William squeals as he jumps up and throws his arms around Gabe, “I love you!”
Gabe’s frozen for a second before he’s hugging back, “I love you too William,” he offers back and the younger is so excited he can’t even be bothered to care that Gabe called him by his full name, “I love you, too.”
Pairing: Gabilliam (Gabe Saporta/William Beckett)
Rating: 'hard' PG
Warnings: Mental disease, brief mentions of drugs & alcohol
Summary: Gabe had held William that day, held him as he cried like the sad, scared, six year old boy he believed he was at that moment in time. Gabe remembers that day like it was yesterday despite all the months it's been, mostly because that's the day he realized he was falling in love with William.
Word Count: 1782
Author's Note: This was a prompt from fourtysteps and I totally was gonna just post it as a comment but it ended up being longer than I intended so...here ya go! ( It's my first time actually posting to the comm other than in prompt threads and that was always anon. Hope you enjoy :3)
It would just take a few quick steps. A few quick, practiced steps and he would be out the door, on the way to his car and able to go home. To put some liquor in his tea just so he could sleep a little easier tonight. But he knew, boy did he know considering his heart was trying to jump out of his corrupted ribs, that the closer he got to that door, the heavier his steps would get.
And heavier did they get, ha! Heavy would be an understatement. He felt like his feet were lead as he leaned against the doorframe of the rec room. Gabe sighed heavily as he watched the boy (really more of a man but he seemed to be favoring Billy today who really was more of a boy) sitting at the coffee table with a coloring book and crayons, totally content with practicing staying inside the lines. Inside the lines…Gabe’s thoughts trailed off from a moment and he wanted to laugh, not because it was funny, but because it was sad to see a 22 year old man trying to stay inside the lines when his brain was constantly criss-crossing and mixing him up.
He thought they had made so much progress, everyday William had been staying himself more and more, and he had been staying inside the lines instead of drifting off into other people.
The man had gone almost a full two days as himself and Gabe couldn't believe it was happening, it was a fucking miracle, is what he yelled in his apartment when he got home last night, because really, it was.
For as long as he'd been working here he'd never seen someone make such bounds. William tried so hard, he wanted to be better…well, not better, because he seemed to finally understand that he couldn’t get “better,” but if he worked hard, he could get to a point where he could at least function in society. He just needed the right mix of drugs to fix the imbalance in his brain and the right coping strategies when everything didn’t feel like it was working right.
But just as it had happened, it had all been torn down the moment William's drugged out, alcoholic mother had shown up, demanding to see her son. His mother, who wasn’t even fit to be called that, save for biological reasons, has screamed and yelled and carried on. Gabe was almost positive there was a restraining order out against her but paper hardly ever stopped anyone that strung out. Gabe hated that woman; he despised every fiber of her being. She had tainted a beautiful soul, she was the reason William was like this what with all the drinking and drugs she did while she was carrying him. She was unfit to ever even be called a mother.
William had been raised by his grandmother most of his life until it was too much, until she realized she couldn’t take care of him on her own. So that’s when she brought him here. Gabe didn’t work here when William first started coming here; in fact, he’d only been in high school then. But when he finally finished school and started working here, when he was assigned to William’s case, that’s when his life changed. He’d watched as William would make strides in treatment, he’d see the smile on his grandmother’s face when he would tell her how he was improving, and he’d seen how supportive she was even when things would go bad. She was a good woman and it was more than obvious that she loved her grandson very much no matter who he thought he was. She loved him unconditionally, regardless of his mental state. And William loved her right back; every one of his personalities loved her, something that was uncommon among patients with his condition.
William’s whole life had revolved around that woman, even if he didn’t really know it. The day she died, the day Gabe got that phone call, he thought he’d lose William forever, he thought that was it, William would never get better after this because no one would come to visit him, he had lost his biggest support system. Gabe had held William that day, held him as he cried like the sad, scared, six year old boy he believed he was at that moment in time. Gabe remembers that day like it was yesterday despite all the months it’s been, mostly because that’s the day he realized he was falling in love with William.
But William was a determined little bugger. He told Gabe that he wasn’t going to get up, that he knew his grandmother was still watching and that she wanted him, more than anything, to get better. So while they waited for the police all Gabe could do was sit back and watch William unravel and recall all these memories and feel so, so guilty for letting that kind, old woman down. He was letting her grandson come undone. She probably hated him now. All of William's progress was reversed in a matter of minutes and he had danced between so many frames of mind in the short time he saw his mother that Gabe had almost lost count.
The only real positive thing Gabe could take from all of it was that he'd managed to get Damien, William's anger, under control before he got too far and hurt anyone more than his therapist who was now harboring a black eye along with his wounded heart.
He doesn't know how he let himself fall for a patient but he feels like he should regret it now more than ever considering his heart is way more than dented as he watches William with a sad smile. He can't seem to regret it though when William finally notices him and looks up, smiling brightly and waving Gabe over.
Gabe takes careful steps closer, trying to plan out his words but it seems he's sitting across from the boy before he knows it and a purple crayon is being shoved into his hands.
“Hello William,” Gabe offers a small smile with his words and chuckles softly when William’s face scrunches up.
“Gabey, we’ve been over this like a quadrillion times! You know I hate being called William,” he spits the name like poison off his tongue, “Mommy only calls my that when I’m in really, really, really, really big trouble.”
“So sorry, how could I forget? What I meant was hello Billy,” Gabe’s smile widens as he watches William continue to color. He can see the mans tongue poking out from between his lips as he concentrates on the page in front of him and he can’t tear his eyes away.
Suddenly William turns the coloring book around and gathers up his crayons, moving to sit on the other side of the table, uncomfortably close in Gabe’s mind because he can smell William and William always smells good. He just wants to reach out and touch that long hair. He really, really just wants to reach out and grab that face and kiss him but he just, he can’t! And it’s killing him.
“Now you can color too Gabey,” William grins up at him before he starts coloring again.
“I actually…I should probably get going Billy,” Gabe manages out and William looks at him with big brown eyes, he looks like he’s going to cry at Gabe’s words, “I’ve got to get home and it’s almost time for you to go to bed.”
“Just five more minutes?” William whines and Gabe can’t even deny him when he’s making that face.
“Alright, five more minutes,” Gabe settles on and William squeals happily before going back to his coloring page.
Gabe starts coloring absently, he can’t get images from earlier out of his head and he wishes so desperately that none of it ever happened, that William hadn’t come out of his room to see what all the commotion was about. If Gabe had been with William, if he’d just kept him inside, then they wouldn’t be sitting here like this right now. They’d probably be talking about music or books or movies, anything William loved, he could go on for hours when it was about something he loved.
“What happen to you eye?”
William’s voice jars him from his thoughts and Gabe just shrugs, “Got hurt. I’m okay though.”
He watches a frown set on William’s face but has to drop his eyes, goes back to coloring and he thinks William does too until he feels those eyes still staring at him. He doesn’t even have to time to ask William what’s wrong before the boy is leaning forward and pressing his lips to Gabe’s bruise.
Gabe is absolutely speechless.
“That’s what grandma used to do to me when I would get boo-boos. I’m no grandma but I hope it helped,” William offers a big, toothy grin before coloring again and Gabe can’t decide if he wants to smile or cry right now.
“I think you fixed it. Good job,” Gabe says and pats William’s back before standing up. The room feels like it’s suffocating him all the sudden, he has to get out.
“Where are you going?” William pouts, “Has it been five minutes already?!”
“It’s been ten actually,” Gabe says, “I gave you an extra five since you were being so good but I’ve gotta go home now and you need to go to bed.”
“But Gabey!”
“But nothing, c’mon, help me clean up these crayons. We can color your whole session tomorrow if you want,” Gabe offers to try and persuade the boy and by the way his eyes light up Gabe knows it worked.
“Really?!” William says and he scrambles to clean up the crayons.
“Really,” Gabe’s face breaks into a small smile when he sees William so happy, “And I’ll tell you what. If you’re really, super good for the nurses and you go straight to bed like a good boy I’ll get you a new coloring book and a big box of sixty-four crayons because these are looking a little broken.”
“You’d get me the big box with the sharpener on the back?!” William looks like he could just fall over and die he’s so happy, “Gabey, you’re my best friend!” William squeals as he jumps up and throws his arms around Gabe, “I love you!”
Gabe’s frozen for a second before he’s hugging back, “I love you too William,” he offers back and the younger is so excited he can’t even be bothered to care that Gabe called him by his full name, “I love you, too.”