(Untitled)
"I feel like we should talk."
He says.
"And 'talk' isn't a euphemism for... anything. It means talk."
Though the stuff euphemisms are made for isn't completely off the cards either.
He says.
"And 'talk' isn't a euphemism for... anything. It means talk."
Though the stuff euphemisms are made for isn't completely off the cards either.
He sits there for a moment, calmly. Crosses his arms over his chest and stares at you.
"I'm not packing anything."
Firmly.
"You're over reacting and I'm not going anywhere."
He stands up, he's wearing his tight grey (designer) half boxers/half underwear and an open bathrobe and he goes to the kitchen draw and pulls out a note pad.
"I made a list of all the reasons you should propose to me. And don't worry. I have all day to talk about this. So don't you worry, Armand De Luca. I can out wait you."
He's looking at his note pad.
"Oh, wait, this is the reasons we should get a bigger place list..."
Flicking through the pages.
"Oh, here it is. Do you want more coffee?"
He pours Armand some more anyway. It's half decaff.
He clears his throat.
"Reason One: I love you. Reason Two: You love me. Reason Three: We co-inhabit well together. Reason Four: We don't get too upset by each others worst points. Reason Five: We have children together - "
Armand. This will go on if you don't interrupt.
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Armand abandons his coffee and wheels himself backward, away from the table. "Don't make a scene," he warns, heading for the bedroom. Gabe knows he can't put himself in bed, the frame and the box spring keep the mattress much too high for him to transfer in.
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"Now I've lost my place... Oh, Reason Five: We have children together. Reason Six: It's a public declaration of our commitment to each other. Reason Seven: It's a commitment that marks we are family. Reason Eight: It would really, really, really, really, really, really, really - "
Deep breath.
"Really piss off your brother - "
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Why is he arguing with him? His mental checklist, although shorter and didn't include ridiculous affidavits such as having 'children' together, was similar. Mostly he wants Gabe to know that he's already thought of it on his own and it's not something he's been brow beaten into.
This is a poor execution, indeed, given that Gabe will no doubt follow him room to room and pester him until he gives in. "You're not making a case for spending exorbitant sums of money on unnecessary home improvements. You can't just pester me into a proposal."
Perhaps if he just says it isn't going to work...
He goes to the closest and has a bit of a time opening the door. "Take the largest suitcase and put your things in it."
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He sits on the bed and smiles at Armand.
"I like to think I could pester you into almost anything."
The smile is partly smug and partly cheeky but it's entirely pleased and it's the kind of smile Gabe only really gives to Armand. Does Armand realise that? How little he gives away his smiles to anyone else? His real smiles anyway, not his business, lets sell a fucking painting smiles. Oh he gives those away to anyone. But the real ones...
"Where were we? Reason Nine: Ez would be so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so happy. Reason Ten: I really like wedding cake..."
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"You can talk until you're blue in the face, I won't have any of it. Do you think I've gotten this far in life, pandering to the whims of attractive young men?"
Watch it, Armand. You're teetering on the edge of hurtful.
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Yes, Armand, you have. Gabe is an insecure creature at heart, all things considered you really can't fault him for it, and you've put a little dent in his confidence and rubbed at his feelings there. He doesn't like to think of the other prettier things that have come through this apartment. He doesn't like to think of himself as one of them.
And so he's stopped smiling.
"If you want me to leave you can call the fucking police and have them drag me out. That's the only way I'm leaving."
Gabe snaps. And he throws the note pad across the room. His notepad with his fifty reasons to get married and ninety-two reasons they need a bigger apartment. Some appear on both lists.
"I'm going to watch Cheshire. You can just stay away from me, Armand, until your tongue is less sharp."
Cheshire is, of course, The Real Housewives of Cheshire.
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Armand digs the envelope out of his pocket and waves it in Gabe's general direction. "We'll you'd better take this with you if you're going to have a good sulk..."
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"I'm not sulking. Getting out of your way when you start getting nasty is just self preservation. I want to get married, Armand. And I want a walk in wardrobe with a lounge in the center, so I can sit down and prepare myself for my day. And I want you to ask me. About getting married not the walk in robe, you don't need any input in that. And I heard that next door is looking to sell. Yes. I did. So. It's the perfect time, isn't it? The perfect time. To get married. And have a walk in robe. For me."
He means to say - you are not putting any of your clothes in his walk in robe.
And then adds.
"You know, Noma will be the perfect place for your proposal."
A pause.
"I've never flown business before."
But the twitch of his lips and the fact he hasn't gone to watch Cheshire do show he's very pleased.
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"Questo cliche," he grumbles, rolling his eyes and manhandling the kitten down to his lap. "Will you get the suitcases now? Well, no, I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. You'll pack, and repack, and demand to be taken shopping, and then pack again. The next thing you'll be wanting is to pick out your own ring...Non rompermi il cazzo..."
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"Well, of course we'll be going shopping while we're in Europe."
That's just a fact, isn't it? But they can always buy more luggage over there so he goes to the wardrobe and starts to pack. One suitcase for him, one for Armand, plus another smaller one for him.
"And surely we'd pick out rings together, I mean, if we're both going to wear them forever, we both need to be happy with what they represent..."
As long as it's represented in platinum, he thinks.
"I love Denmark. I love it. And I cannot wait to go to Noma. And I cannot wait to fly business class. Do they really give you whatever you want to drink? In real glasses?"
Gabe will be entirely plastered by the time you get to Copenhagen unless you cut him off.
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"Whatever you like," he agrees, watching Gabe get the suitcases. "Real glasses." And there can't be over indulgence on the flight. Armand needs Gabe as his attendant when they aren't in the hotel.
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Exactly what Gabe would do if he were a cat. As it is he just pesters with lists, walks around with a lack of clothing on, and, if all else fails, spends too much money. The human equivalent of a cat, really.
"Do you want me to pack anything in particular for you?"
You'll need to tell him to stop drinking, Armand. But it's probably not the first time. Gabe isn't always the most moderate of people.
He's laying clothes out on the bed, considering. It might be time for a new list. Gabe retrieves his pad of paper from where it's been thrown on the floor and rips the two lists off handing them to Armand.
"Here, you can read these in your own time."
Then he sits on the bed with a pen and starts to write his packing list.
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"Two weeks, Tesorro. We can have our things laundered by the hotel. And of course, the shopping...let's try not to go crazy, hmmm?"
Two or three swimsuits, two or three regular suits, and a handful of casual attire, that's all Armand would pack. There isn't a need for much more.
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"OK."
He says agreeably.
"Just three days shopping and maybe we could come home via London, wouldn't that be nice? A few days in London, see a couple of shows, shopping in the morning - enjoy the spoils of their raping and pillaging of the world."
He means the museums.
"I mean I've completely become bored with New York shopping. I barely bought anything all of September."
Quickly.
"Zegna doesn't count. Suits are pretty much like... A uniform."
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