all of a sudden my vision became so clear. everything i neeeded was right here, before me
so its been hella crazy what has happened in the last 24 hrs.
at around 3pm i decided to get out of bed, get dressed and head up to the school. where, i was certain that they were gonna tell me that i was a failure at life, that i will not be able to go to school and not get my financial aid back. so i get on the bus and go and im hella nervous the whole bus ride. My mood kinda lightened up when these girls got on the bus. OMG! so they get on the bus and they are just talking amongst themselves. this "alright" looking guy comes on the bus and taken girl 1 says to single girl 2
"ooo bitch he uh lil cutie you betta get that"
"oo i know huh, he is a lil cutie, tell him ta sit up here"
[girl two waves a alright looking guy and guy says wuts up]
"come sit next to us" single girl 2 says
"naa come back here"
so the negotiate on who should sit where untill the girls have to get off the bus. they exchange numbers and i continue to rofl. fuck. i thought guys were thirsty..sheesh!
So i get to the school and i help this lady get to builiding F and i go from there to the financial aid office. i wait in line and finally get in and see a counselor. she tells me that there is a hold on my financial aid because i didnt do my FASFA WHICH I FUCKING DID!! the idiot that i saw in spring said all i have to do is fucking show my id and ill get my financial aid in the fall. but even if i didnt do that, lol, it still would have been a hold on it.lol
so yea, i have to appeal it which i hope goes through. im just gonna tell them the truth. well, not really. its really horrible what im gonna say, and im not gonna say what im gonna say cuz i dont wanna offend anyone, but know that its fuckin horrible. but fuck, i need that money.
so anywho i get home and i lay down and decide to turn on the olympics cuz i havent been in the loop. BTW..THE SWIMMERS FROM CHINA?? WHY THA HECK ARE THEIR BODIES AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS SHEESH!!
so i fall asleep while the volleyball was on and i dreamt that i was a sychronized swimmer..lol. i wake up and head to work and it was the usual beginning. i see my friend dayton and jeremy and i say hey to them and we go to our trailors.
in the begginning, our substitute supervisor [cuz micha, our regular, is on vacation] sends us in the rollers [the rollers are something-like-conveyor-belts but you have to physically push them back] and he is so certain that we are fuckin everything up. so he sends us next door with the regular conveyor belt.
so, im in the trailor with darnell, another guy that im cool with, and i start talking about my dinner party and how im gonna invite tarrick[ tarrick is my trainer, and we are like hella cool and he is HELLA cute] and when i said that darnell kinda looked at me wierd. and i was like what? and he was like oh nothing.
so break came and i told dayton that i was gonna invite him to my dinner party and he gave me the same look darnell did and im like wtf? whats wrong? come to fucking find out, tarrick has been going around telling everyone that im a hoe and that im ugly and just talking all this trash about me. and to top it off he was talking about it with my supervisor.
Now, like, before, i heard ppl talking about me. pretty much every guy on the belt that i dont talk to. [i only talk to 4 boys on a belt of 15, get it?] but my supervisor and my trainer too?i dont get paid enough money for grown ass men to redicule me for whatever reason when i go to work. two guys that i thought were so down to earth and cool. i dont. i dont have to put up with you asking me who the fuck trained you because that wall of boxes isnt tha way you want them NO. i dont have to deal with my headaches because im so stressed from this stupid job.
im going on 19 years old. im not going to deal with working in a fuckin sweatshop, working little to no hours, making bullshit ass money for what? for benefits? for me to get made a fool of by these men when i have been nothing but sweet and nice? i think not.
so i left. i was talking to jeremy and i told him that im gonna quit. he didnt believe me. he finally said that if im gonna quit then i should go out with a bang and just leave without saying anything. so after that asshole of a sup. came in there to disrespect me, i told jeremy that i was gonna take his advice, and i left that fucking place, i left. and im never going back.
i was crying hard when i told monica on the way home but she just said okay and that i should tell someone because maybe thats the reason so many women quit the job. but i havent decided if im going to do that. i guess you could call that harrasment, but idk. i know i should say something but i just wanna forget about it. i cant even sleep. im so humiliated its rediculous.
i feel horrible. but i feel great at the same time. this is the first time i have made a decision for me by me and only me. i didnt ask anyone what they would do, i just did it and it felt delicios. i think ill try that more often
anywho friends. im okay, and ill be even better=D
iLy all
note: monica and i have gotten soo close. and my brother knows im gay. lol[ i know tracie, i know]
at around 3pm i decided to get out of bed, get dressed and head up to the school. where, i was certain that they were gonna tell me that i was a failure at life, that i will not be able to go to school and not get my financial aid back. so i get on the bus and go and im hella nervous the whole bus ride. My mood kinda lightened up when these girls got on the bus. OMG! so they get on the bus and they are just talking amongst themselves. this "alright" looking guy comes on the bus and taken girl 1 says to single girl 2
"ooo bitch he uh lil cutie you betta get that"
"oo i know huh, he is a lil cutie, tell him ta sit up here"
[girl two waves a alright looking guy and guy says wuts up]
"come sit next to us" single girl 2 says
"naa come back here"
so the negotiate on who should sit where untill the girls have to get off the bus. they exchange numbers and i continue to rofl. fuck. i thought guys were thirsty..sheesh!
So i get to the school and i help this lady get to builiding F and i go from there to the financial aid office. i wait in line and finally get in and see a counselor. she tells me that there is a hold on my financial aid because i didnt do my FASFA WHICH I FUCKING DID!! the idiot that i saw in spring said all i have to do is fucking show my id and ill get my financial aid in the fall. but even if i didnt do that, lol, it still would have been a hold on it.lol
so yea, i have to appeal it which i hope goes through. im just gonna tell them the truth. well, not really. its really horrible what im gonna say, and im not gonna say what im gonna say cuz i dont wanna offend anyone, but know that its fuckin horrible. but fuck, i need that money.
so anywho i get home and i lay down and decide to turn on the olympics cuz i havent been in the loop. BTW..THE SWIMMERS FROM CHINA?? WHY THA HECK ARE THEIR BODIES AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS SHEESH!!
so i fall asleep while the volleyball was on and i dreamt that i was a sychronized swimmer..lol. i wake up and head to work and it was the usual beginning. i see my friend dayton and jeremy and i say hey to them and we go to our trailors.
in the begginning, our substitute supervisor [cuz micha, our regular, is on vacation] sends us in the rollers [the rollers are something-like-conveyor-belts but you have to physically push them back] and he is so certain that we are fuckin everything up. so he sends us next door with the regular conveyor belt.
so, im in the trailor with darnell, another guy that im cool with, and i start talking about my dinner party and how im gonna invite tarrick[ tarrick is my trainer, and we are like hella cool and he is HELLA cute] and when i said that darnell kinda looked at me wierd. and i was like what? and he was like oh nothing.
so break came and i told dayton that i was gonna invite him to my dinner party and he gave me the same look darnell did and im like wtf? whats wrong? come to fucking find out, tarrick has been going around telling everyone that im a hoe and that im ugly and just talking all this trash about me. and to top it off he was talking about it with my supervisor.
Now, like, before, i heard ppl talking about me. pretty much every guy on the belt that i dont talk to. [i only talk to 4 boys on a belt of 15, get it?] but my supervisor and my trainer too?i dont get paid enough money for grown ass men to redicule me for whatever reason when i go to work. two guys that i thought were so down to earth and cool. i dont. i dont have to put up with you asking me who the fuck trained you because that wall of boxes isnt tha way you want them NO. i dont have to deal with my headaches because im so stressed from this stupid job.
im going on 19 years old. im not going to deal with working in a fuckin sweatshop, working little to no hours, making bullshit ass money for what? for benefits? for me to get made a fool of by these men when i have been nothing but sweet and nice? i think not.
so i left. i was talking to jeremy and i told him that im gonna quit. he didnt believe me. he finally said that if im gonna quit then i should go out with a bang and just leave without saying anything. so after that asshole of a sup. came in there to disrespect me, i told jeremy that i was gonna take his advice, and i left that fucking place, i left. and im never going back.
i was crying hard when i told monica on the way home but she just said okay and that i should tell someone because maybe thats the reason so many women quit the job. but i havent decided if im going to do that. i guess you could call that harrasment, but idk. i know i should say something but i just wanna forget about it. i cant even sleep. im so humiliated its rediculous.
i feel horrible. but i feel great at the same time. this is the first time i have made a decision for me by me and only me. i didnt ask anyone what they would do, i just did it and it felt delicios. i think ill try that more often
anywho friends. im okay, and ill be even better=D
iLy all
note: monica and i have gotten soo close. and my brother knows im gay. lol[ i know tracie, i know]