...sweaty palms to say the least.

Feb 26, 2008 10:47


hello everyone. i have been like non existant on this thing. at this very moment when im listening to floetry, im okay. in case you all didnt know i quit my job because i decided it just wasnt for me. so im currently in the process of getting a new one. i feel like im right back at square one when i was looking for a job last year, but i will find a new one. i have been asserting myself, not as much as i should, but i have been, but i try to keep reminding myself that if i wanna see results i have to give 110% and i will.
so uhm...im kinda not in school right now, like the only class i have is some geology class and this couns. 1 class that you have to keep to keep your finacial aid. they both start next week, but like for 3 weeks or so i just havent been going to the classes that i signed up for in the beginning. i dropped all of them but monica doesnt know..lol [imagine] "responsibilities.........blah blah blah.........education...blah blah fuckin blah....." but im gonna get some late start classes...really this time!  
so the main ppl that i see now is nina and john and im not complaining. annd we are planning a spring break getaway...and like at first it was gonna be new york, then it was florida, and now we made like a final final decision on vegas....yea...BRAND[.-new-.] in vegas???...chaa! i dont think we are staying up there the whole break but i plan to get faded EVERYDAY!..lol
i talked to victoria..its like whatever now. im not mad at her/feel hurt/betrayed.. anything any more, im just good tu sabes. and it was wierd cuz we were like talking and she was telling me how she was like soo in love with shanae and i didnt feel anything, like before i would wnna throw the phone if she would have said some shit like that to me and like when we were talkin it didnt affect me.  but i know when she comes down here its gonna be a different story

so  i think i like a new person...lets call this person...j. k this person lives next door to me and has been for 3 years. and 3 weeks ago we messed around for them first time, and alllll those feelings came back in full force...like i was in the11th grade 3 years ago and like we had just moved to this builiding, and like when i first saw j i was like....OMG!!! like i was like j was the cutest thing alive! okay so like every week me and j mess around, but like the last time we did, i asked "did you miss me" and like i think that may have scared j away, and like now everytime we are around eachother i feel hella awkward and like stand-offish.. so like.. now.. iono. like everyone is tellin me that i like j but i dont wanna believe it...mainly because i really do...and the other reason is because j is a guy...

tj, bisexuality?, assertiveness, work, brand[.-new-.], dropped classes, vic, floetry, vegas, school, anguish about love

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