..i dont move my hips like this for nothing..
okay.
so i think i have been avoiding this. blah. i just really am hating things right now. like i got suspended from work for those of you that didnt know. for bullshit. and my manager just said it so calmly like i was supposed to be like fucking thrilled about tha shit ya know. and like so i get suspended for a week for being over 14 dollars in my register and tomarrow is my first day back. and ive been thinking to myself, why should i even go back? like wtf is the point so i can feel awkward around my co-workers and evey second i feel like im gonna fuck up? i just really dont wanna go, and its mondo pointless to cuz its like, i didnt work anytime this week, and my pay check comes next thursday. im gonna have like 100 dollars. just everything is fucking up. well, not everything, just work. and i cant quit cuz if i dont have a job i cant live here anymore and its like AHHH!! like, im not happy. like regaurdless of money, shouldnt my not being worried and stressed out be something that is of paramount importance? im not happy. everyday that i go to fucking work i say something negative, or something to suggest that i hate my fucking job and no one fucking hears me. DO I HAVE TO SHOUT IT UNTIL MY LUNGS GIVE OUT I H A T E MY JOB!!!!!!!!!! sometimes i just sit back and wonder wtf am i doing here. like i know i have to struggle and i know i have to have a job but come on, im better then this fucking place, i am. i am better then havng to dread doing something everyday just to get a funky ass 200-300 dollars every 2 weeks. im better then that and im gonna find something else that better suits me.
fuck, tomarrow is gonna be hell.
anywho nothing else has been going on. i have been spending alot of time with nina and john lately, and melissa and i have gotten closer i believe. and AND... im kinda sort interested in the girl. she lives in and la and....she deaf. when i found out i was like woah L word much??..lol.
nina has been like encouraging me to like meet ppl off the net. iono. that just seems sooo desperate to me, and like everytime i even like think of meeting ppl off myspace or the internet i always think of like those commercials of those like 50yr old ppl talking about how they found love on eHarmony.com.lol nothing against ppl that do tha whole internet thing, but like actually someone in person off the net is like...mondo cheesy to me. iono maybe ill get over it.
my break of writing on my "story" is over, lol im gonna start back. i dunno wt happens i just like, loos interest in it i guess. but then that same interest comes back like 2months later. oh well
thats all for now. luv ya friends. BRAND[.-new-.] fuck it, we just too new ye digg??.. nah u cant cuz ur not newwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww