i am so fucking 'on' when i am performing it feels almost manic. its really weird, even to me. one person paying attention to me and i become the suave and friendly and talkative person that i always wish i could be. throw me in a room where i get $50 stuffed down my pants and i am the fucking slickest and flirtiest person you know ( Read more... )

thankstaking was good. i like reclaiming holidays with chosen families. even though i didnt know most of the kids i spent thnaks giving with, i'm pretty sure i enjoyed it way more than i would have with any of my family of origin. i'm also really greatful to have been invited... so thanks you know who you are ( Read more... )

seriously, i'm starting to fear for my pets, i think that that would somehow cosmically be the next step to these past few weeks.

tonight i had a decent time at the lex, ran into old old friends. but on the ride home i just got so completely overwhelmed by how horrible everything has been for me lately.
( the list... )

the strip show was awesome. actually performing is a complete blur. I have no idea if i was moving to the songs or doing anything i had planned and the two song sets seemed to go on forever. everybody seemed to like it though and i got about fifteen bucks in sweaty crotch tips for each set. my legs are so sore from dancing. it feels like i did a ( Read more... )

the good news ( Read more... )

my life is so drama free right now. with the possible exception of work. i've felt so... venonmous... towards my boss. I shouldnt. I have the cushiest of jobs at the moment and i get paid well for it. I think i'm just afraid. I'm afraid it wont last. I know i'm only definitely there until november, after that, only if they have money. I just ( Read more... )