Sexual-social Politics
I'm somehwere around a 3.5 on the Kinsey Scale, which is confusing for most people. I can empathize; I've been confused too. Regardless, I don't care to put out a press release explaining it.
There are two main misconceptions from people who know this. These exist outside of people who think I am a solid 6 (which makes me tired; there aren't just two boxes! Please show a little inventiveness), although that happens and I dislike having to correct them MUCH more than I dislike having to correct those who assume a status of 1.
One is that, since I am not all particular or bound by convention, I must be into YOU. This is. by and large, not true. Like most people, I am attracted to a very very very small fraction of the people I meet. If I see you going down the street,male or female, my first thought is not how madly I want to seduce you. I am not coy out of social convention. 99.9% of the time, it is because I have not entertained the possibility of you in a romantic context.
The other is that, since I have a wider pool of people to whom I may be attracted, I must be promiscuous. This is laughably false. I am more picky than most people I know. For better or worse (mostly, I think, for worse), I automatically rule out a lot of individuals and situations for various reasons-- some good and some silly and some downright petty. (Ironically, the silly and petty reasons are much easier to listen to-- when we get into actual good reasons not to date someone, like 'distance' or 'serious emotional problems which will only cause more heartache for both,' it gets a bit harder to tear myself away.) I am less experienced in many ways than most people (straight, gay, or otherwise) that I know.
These are things I don't care to explain to curious onlookers-- or even good friends-- who look on me as a mysterious specimen of unknown properties. Yes, I'm hard to pin down; yes, it's human nature to try; no, it isn't any of your damn business. The scrutiny is uncomfortable and I'd rather be left alone about it. Some days I'd rather be a 1-- at least then there would be an easy shorthand and no need for speculation.
This is one of many reasons I wish to retire to a cave away from people, so long as that cave has down pillows in hypoallergenic cases and free wi-fi.
There are two main misconceptions from people who know this. These exist outside of people who think I am a solid 6 (which makes me tired; there aren't just two boxes! Please show a little inventiveness), although that happens and I dislike having to correct them MUCH more than I dislike having to correct those who assume a status of 1.
One is that, since I am not all particular or bound by convention, I must be into YOU. This is. by and large, not true. Like most people, I am attracted to a very very very small fraction of the people I meet. If I see you going down the street,male or female, my first thought is not how madly I want to seduce you. I am not coy out of social convention. 99.9% of the time, it is because I have not entertained the possibility of you in a romantic context.
The other is that, since I have a wider pool of people to whom I may be attracted, I must be promiscuous. This is laughably false. I am more picky than most people I know. For better or worse (mostly, I think, for worse), I automatically rule out a lot of individuals and situations for various reasons-- some good and some silly and some downright petty. (Ironically, the silly and petty reasons are much easier to listen to-- when we get into actual good reasons not to date someone, like 'distance' or 'serious emotional problems which will only cause more heartache for both,' it gets a bit harder to tear myself away.) I am less experienced in many ways than most people (straight, gay, or otherwise) that I know.
These are things I don't care to explain to curious onlookers-- or even good friends-- who look on me as a mysterious specimen of unknown properties. Yes, I'm hard to pin down; yes, it's human nature to try; no, it isn't any of your damn business. The scrutiny is uncomfortable and I'd rather be left alone about it. Some days I'd rather be a 1-- at least then there would be an easy shorthand and no need for speculation.
This is one of many reasons I wish to retire to a cave away from people, so long as that cave has down pillows in hypoallergenic cases and free wi-fi.