Let Me Love You: A Teen Wolf fanfic
So, since I've been gone, I kinda went from The Vampire Diaries into Teen Wolf hard. I'm still writing TVD, and I still like the show (for the most part. I haven't watched a single episode since 5.04, even though I know what is going on because my cousin Lou keeps me informed) and I still have my ships and everything. I still ship Daroline hardcore.
Anyway, I've dove straight into Teen Wolf, and I've kinda attached myself to Dydia. I mean, I am a multi-shipper (big time) but I really love Lydia Martin.
So anyway, this is a fanfic based on the tumblr gifset you can find here. I reblogged the gifset as "I wanna write this" for one of the tags, and the next thing I know, I'm getting a message telling me that as long as I credit, I'm welcome to write it. So, that's when this happened.
Title: Let Me Love You
Pairing:: Derek Hale/Lydia Martin
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Lydia Martin, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski
Summary:
Dydia AU: After a big fight Lydia heads back to college leaving Derek alone to brood and remember that the good times far outweigh the bad times. Leading Derek to pack his bags and go get his girl…
Sighing, Derek threw some clothes into a duffel bag. He'd really done it this time; he'd really fucked up. As he zipped up the duffel, he started thinking about the whole thing.
"We can't do this anymore," Derek said, looking at Lydia. She rolled onto her side, watching him. During the entire break, she'd practically lived at the loft. The whole placed smelled like her, and she was even wearing his shirt. The smile she had been wearing dissipated and she licked her lips absentmindedly.
"This was only meant to be a casual sex relationship, Lydia, and I just don't think it's a good idea anymore. Go back to Jackson, to the way that your life was before."
"What's the matter, Derek?" Lydia asked genuinely. A frown covered her features and Derek wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown away, but he knew that he had to do this. If he had to, he'd make her hate him. It was the only way to keep her from hurting in the end.
He was trying to ignore how his heart was jack rabbiting in his chest and was thankful that she couldn't hear it, "Nothing's wrong. I just don't want to do this anymore."
"Why?"
"Because, Lydia, we wouldn't work. You and I, we are miles apart and have absolutely nothing in common. This thing between us, it was only sex. That's all it was supposed to be. You need to go now."
"I don't get you, Derek Hale," Lydia said, and at first Derek was shocked. It wasn't very often that someone called him out on his bullshit. It was usually Stiles, sure, but Lydia was the other one who had no problem telling Derek when he was being a dumbass. Derek wondered if that had anything to do with the friendship the two of them had struck up after the whole nogitsune mess junior year. They had gotten really close to one another after that.
"What do you mean?"
Standing up, Lydia reached over into her duffel bag and pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, "You're scared. i can tell that you don't want anything to happen to the two of us because you don't want anything bad to happen. New flash, Derek - you can have nice things. You don't have to live in a burnt out shell anymore. And you don't get to stand there and tell me who I can and can't love."
Derek froze - Lydia just said the L word. Sure, that word had crossed his mind while she was practically living at the loft this summer, but he wasn't going to say it out loud. He wasn't even one hundred percent sure that it was love, but it was pretty fucking close. Lydia wasn't really paying attention to him, though, as she was putting together an outfit, "And I also know that you live here to remind yourself. You think that you're a terrible person because of what happened all those years ago. I know you live here, in this loft, to remind yourself of all the bad things that have happened. But anybody can tell you that you don't deserve it."
"I have to do it this way, Lydia!" Derek exclaimed. "Everyone I get involved with seems to get hurt. I can't do that to you."
"Fuck you, Derek. I can take care of myself." She dressed quickly, throwing her clothes in her duffel bag and tossed the shirt she had been wearing back at Derek. "I've gotta go, anyway," she mumbled, sitting so she could put her shoes on. "I wanna see my mom before my flight leaves in a few hours." Getting up, she walked towards the door, turning back to look at him at the last minute, "If you're ever in Boston and get the fucking stick out of your ass, drop in. It'd be nice to see you."
He had been replaying it in his mind since she left. It had been almost three days since she had gone, but he should have never let her leave like that. Lydia had wanted something more, and Derek just couldn't give it to her. Well, he had been thinking about that, and what Stiles had told him when he called him.
-x-
"I can't believe you, Sourwolf," Stiles had said when he answered his call. There was no hello, no how are you doing, Derek; no, with Stiles, it was always straight to the point. It was something that Derek simultaneously loved and hated about the younger man.
"What are you talking about?" Derek asked, even though he knew damn well what Stiles was talking about.
"You know what I'm talking about, Derek," Stiles said. "Lydia called me as soon as she left your place."
"Are you back at Berkeley yet?" Derek asked, trying to change the subject. However, Stiles knew exactly what Derek was doing.
"That's not gonna work, Der," Stiles said. "What exactly were you thinking? I know you're half in love with Lydia. Everyone knows you're half in love with Lydia. Why not give into it?"
"I don't even know why I called you," Derek grumbled. He didn't exactly open up to anyone about his feelings; he hadn't done that since Laura was alive and his alpha. Telling Stiles what he was thinking and feeling was a hell of a lot different than it had been confiding in Laura, too. He didn't want anybody to feel sorry for him; that was just not who Derek was.
"You called me because you want advice. That's why everybody calls me, Derek. And I'm gonna tell you what to do. You're gonna get your ass on a plane and you're going to go and ask Lydia for forgiveness, and you're gonna have a heart to heart with her about how you really feel. Because I know she's in love with you, and I know that you love her, too. She left the loft feeling pretty shitty and I know you say that you're little arrangement over the summer was just casual sex, but I also know that you want more from her. Which makes sense, you know. Once you get to know Lydia Martin, she is pretty awesome."
Derek sighed, "I don't know, Stiles -" he started, but Stiles cut him off.
"Yeah, well I do. You're going to do what I said. And do you know how I know you're gonna do it?"
"Please, Stiles, enlighten me," Derek said sarcastically.
"Okay," Stiles said, probably not really catching the sarcasm. Derek just sighed.
"Because you want more with Lydia. You want to be with her, in every sense of the word. You want to feel alive, and you want to make her happy. Even though your arrangement was casual sex, you guys still went out over the summer. You guys went to dinner, and movies, and did couple-y stuff, and you fucking loved it. Because even though you and Braeden liked each other, and you did things together like that, you never really had anything with Braeden. I mean, nothing that really stuck. You liked the normalcy that came with doing domestic shit with Lydia like you did. And weren't there days when she didn't even go back home? Days when the two of you did nothing but spend time with each other?"
"Well, yeah, but that was because -"
"Don't, Derek," Stiles said, cutting Derek off once more. "Don't say it's all because of the sex. Because it wasn't. And I know you know that. So get your ass on a plane and go and see her. You need to fix this, Derek, before Lydia does something incredibly stupid, like hooking up with the first guys she meets. She just might do that, you know."
"She won't," Derek protested. "I told her to go back to Jackson."
Stiles said, "That was really fucking stupid, Der, and I'll tell you why. Even though Jackson came back from London, and he decided to go to college here in the United States, he and Lydia were only together for six months. They had both changed too much, y'know? Lydia didn't want someone like Jackson anymore, and, besides that, he's dating Erica."
"I thought she was still with Boyd," Derek said. Stiles laughed.
"Dude, you are so out of the loops," he said, getting his laughter under control. "Boyd's dating your sister, duh. You need to talk to Cora more, obviously."
There was a bit of silence before Stiles said, "Get your head out of your ass, Derek. I mean it. Lydia isn't going to get hurt because of you. The pack has been together for years, and even though we have had some close calls, we're all still alive and kicking. Besides that, Lydia can take care of herself."
"I just need to make sure -"
"Derek, don't," Stiles said. "I know that you want to take care of everybody. I know that your family protected Beacon Hills. Even though we almost lost Boyd and Erica, and then later how we almost lost Allison, I know that was really difficult for you to deal with, but I think you need to realize that you can have nice things and you need to quit punishing yourself for everything that happened to your family. I don't care what you say, Der; it's not your fucking fault, okay? Now get your ass on a place and go to Lydia. Make sure you apologize to her for being such an oblivious idiot."
With that, Stiles hung up and Derek booked a ticket on the first flight out to Boston.
-x-
He had always been a nervous flier. Derek used to tell Laura that they were wolves, not birds, and wolves were meant to stay on the ground. Whenever he wanted to go anywhere, he would drive. But he figured he needed to see Lydia before the week it would take him to drive to Boston, so he decided to bite the bullet and fly. The whole flight, he was mentally freaking out, hoping that everything would be okay. Laura had told him more than once, "Planes are safer than cars, Der. You have a better chance of dying in a car accident than in a plane crash." Even though she had told him that quite a bit, he still hated flying.
Once they were on the ground and he was taking a taxi to Lydia's apartment, he was really thankful that Stiles had given him the address. Even though Lydia went east to go to MIT like she always wanted to, and even though Scott had a rule that everybody had to be able to be contacted at anytime of the day, Lydia was really hush hush about where she lived. When Lydia answered the door, she looked surprised to see him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked softly.
"No hello?" Derek asked. Lydia had looked at him like he had grown another head, so he said, "I thought you'd at least be happy to see me."
Lydia sighed before stepping aside, "You can come in. I mean, if you wanna."
Derek followed her inside the apartment and she said, "You want a beer or something?"
Derek just shrugged, making his way over to her couch. She went into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator, tossing one towards him. He caught it and watched her carefully.
"What are you doing here, Derek?" Lydia asked, popping the top on her own beer. She took a swig and watched him closely.
"I was wrong," Derek said automatically. Lydia looked at him quizzically, so he continued, "I had no right to tell you to leave. I really enjoyed spending that time with you this past summer, and I really do want more from you, Lydia. I...I like you a lot." He couldn't bring himself to say the word love. He figured it would come out eventually, but he wasn't sure how to say it. "I was trying to keep you safe."
"We've had some close calls with the pack, Derek," Lydia said, taking another swig. "I mean, there was when the alphas kidnapped Erica and Boyd, but we found them, didn't we? And when the Oni stabbed Allison? She's fine now, isn't she? So, I mean, everything works itself out. Besides that, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. Allison's been working with me forever on knife work, and I'm pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself. Don't worry about me."
"I need to protect you. I need to protect the pack."
"You're not the alpha anymore, Der," Lydia said. "You need to relax a little. Scott does a pretty good job keeping the pack safe, don't you think?"
Derek just nodded dumbly.
"Do you wanna try it? I mean, you and me, doing the dating thing?" Lydia asked softly. Derek sighed.
"I think I do," he said to her. Lydia grinned.
"I love you, Derek Hale," Lydia said, deciding that she wanted to put it out in the open. "I'm in love with you and I have been for a while. I don't expect you to say it back, not yet, or even ever if you don't wanna. So just so you know, I want to try this thing with you, and I'm all in."
Derek grinned, "That's great, Lydia, really." Lydia just grinned back.
-x-
Lydia and Derek started counting the summer they had been together as when they first got together. After a year of long distance phone calls, Skype, and the occasional in person visit, Derek decided that he wanted to be closer to Lydia, so the pack helped him pack up the few belongings he had and he moved in with Lydia at her apartment. He had decided that he didn't want the loft anymore, too, but he didn't need the money, so he gave it to Scott as a place where the pack could meet. He knew that Scott and Stiles had a small apartment, but he wanted a place where the pack could train or just hang out. Scott had been grateful.
After moving him in, Lydia and Derek decided to go out to dinner. As they sat in the diner down the street from her apartment (where Lydia ate quite a bit, let's be honest), Derek interlaced their fingers, looked deep into Lydia's eyes and said, "I love you too, Lydia Martin. I have for a while, but I haven't loved anyone since Kate, and I...I was afraid. But I know that you'll never hurt me."
Lydia smiled, "Thanks for telling me, Der. I just want you to know that I'm never going to
do anything to make you question how much I love you."
Derek smiled, "Yeah, I know." And he did. He knew they'd make it, one day at a time.
Sorry about the rambling, guys. I'm really manic right now, I have an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to get put on different meds. My thoughts are literally going in about a thousand different directions right now.
Also? You can find me on AO3 here and fanfiction.net here.
Anyway, I've dove straight into Teen Wolf, and I've kinda attached myself to Dydia. I mean, I am a multi-shipper (big time) but I really love Lydia Martin.
So anyway, this is a fanfic based on the tumblr gifset you can find here. I reblogged the gifset as "I wanna write this" for one of the tags, and the next thing I know, I'm getting a message telling me that as long as I credit, I'm welcome to write it. So, that's when this happened.
Title: Let Me Love You
Pairing:: Derek Hale/Lydia Martin
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Lydia Martin, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski
Summary:
Dydia AU: After a big fight Lydia heads back to college leaving Derek alone to brood and remember that the good times far outweigh the bad times. Leading Derek to pack his bags and go get his girl…
Sighing, Derek threw some clothes into a duffel bag. He'd really done it this time; he'd really fucked up. As he zipped up the duffel, he started thinking about the whole thing.
"We can't do this anymore," Derek said, looking at Lydia. She rolled onto her side, watching him. During the entire break, she'd practically lived at the loft. The whole placed smelled like her, and she was even wearing his shirt. The smile she had been wearing dissipated and she licked her lips absentmindedly.
"This was only meant to be a casual sex relationship, Lydia, and I just don't think it's a good idea anymore. Go back to Jackson, to the way that your life was before."
"What's the matter, Derek?" Lydia asked genuinely. A frown covered her features and Derek wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown away, but he knew that he had to do this. If he had to, he'd make her hate him. It was the only way to keep her from hurting in the end.
He was trying to ignore how his heart was jack rabbiting in his chest and was thankful that she couldn't hear it, "Nothing's wrong. I just don't want to do this anymore."
"Why?"
"Because, Lydia, we wouldn't work. You and I, we are miles apart and have absolutely nothing in common. This thing between us, it was only sex. That's all it was supposed to be. You need to go now."
"I don't get you, Derek Hale," Lydia said, and at first Derek was shocked. It wasn't very often that someone called him out on his bullshit. It was usually Stiles, sure, but Lydia was the other one who had no problem telling Derek when he was being a dumbass. Derek wondered if that had anything to do with the friendship the two of them had struck up after the whole nogitsune mess junior year. They had gotten really close to one another after that.
"What do you mean?"
Standing up, Lydia reached over into her duffel bag and pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, "You're scared. i can tell that you don't want anything to happen to the two of us because you don't want anything bad to happen. New flash, Derek - you can have nice things. You don't have to live in a burnt out shell anymore. And you don't get to stand there and tell me who I can and can't love."
Derek froze - Lydia just said the L word. Sure, that word had crossed his mind while she was practically living at the loft this summer, but he wasn't going to say it out loud. He wasn't even one hundred percent sure that it was love, but it was pretty fucking close. Lydia wasn't really paying attention to him, though, as she was putting together an outfit, "And I also know that you live here to remind yourself. You think that you're a terrible person because of what happened all those years ago. I know you live here, in this loft, to remind yourself of all the bad things that have happened. But anybody can tell you that you don't deserve it."
"I have to do it this way, Lydia!" Derek exclaimed. "Everyone I get involved with seems to get hurt. I can't do that to you."
"Fuck you, Derek. I can take care of myself." She dressed quickly, throwing her clothes in her duffel bag and tossed the shirt she had been wearing back at Derek. "I've gotta go, anyway," she mumbled, sitting so she could put her shoes on. "I wanna see my mom before my flight leaves in a few hours." Getting up, she walked towards the door, turning back to look at him at the last minute, "If you're ever in Boston and get the fucking stick out of your ass, drop in. It'd be nice to see you."
He had been replaying it in his mind since she left. It had been almost three days since she had gone, but he should have never let her leave like that. Lydia had wanted something more, and Derek just couldn't give it to her. Well, he had been thinking about that, and what Stiles had told him when he called him.
-x-
"I can't believe you, Sourwolf," Stiles had said when he answered his call. There was no hello, no how are you doing, Derek; no, with Stiles, it was always straight to the point. It was something that Derek simultaneously loved and hated about the younger man.
"What are you talking about?" Derek asked, even though he knew damn well what Stiles was talking about.
"You know what I'm talking about, Derek," Stiles said. "Lydia called me as soon as she left your place."
"Are you back at Berkeley yet?" Derek asked, trying to change the subject. However, Stiles knew exactly what Derek was doing.
"That's not gonna work, Der," Stiles said. "What exactly were you thinking? I know you're half in love with Lydia. Everyone knows you're half in love with Lydia. Why not give into it?"
"I don't even know why I called you," Derek grumbled. He didn't exactly open up to anyone about his feelings; he hadn't done that since Laura was alive and his alpha. Telling Stiles what he was thinking and feeling was a hell of a lot different than it had been confiding in Laura, too. He didn't want anybody to feel sorry for him; that was just not who Derek was.
"You called me because you want advice. That's why everybody calls me, Derek. And I'm gonna tell you what to do. You're gonna get your ass on a plane and you're going to go and ask Lydia for forgiveness, and you're gonna have a heart to heart with her about how you really feel. Because I know she's in love with you, and I know that you love her, too. She left the loft feeling pretty shitty and I know you say that you're little arrangement over the summer was just casual sex, but I also know that you want more from her. Which makes sense, you know. Once you get to know Lydia Martin, she is pretty awesome."
Derek sighed, "I don't know, Stiles -" he started, but Stiles cut him off.
"Yeah, well I do. You're going to do what I said. And do you know how I know you're gonna do it?"
"Please, Stiles, enlighten me," Derek said sarcastically.
"Okay," Stiles said, probably not really catching the sarcasm. Derek just sighed.
"Because you want more with Lydia. You want to be with her, in every sense of the word. You want to feel alive, and you want to make her happy. Even though your arrangement was casual sex, you guys still went out over the summer. You guys went to dinner, and movies, and did couple-y stuff, and you fucking loved it. Because even though you and Braeden liked each other, and you did things together like that, you never really had anything with Braeden. I mean, nothing that really stuck. You liked the normalcy that came with doing domestic shit with Lydia like you did. And weren't there days when she didn't even go back home? Days when the two of you did nothing but spend time with each other?"
"Well, yeah, but that was because -"
"Don't, Derek," Stiles said, cutting Derek off once more. "Don't say it's all because of the sex. Because it wasn't. And I know you know that. So get your ass on a plane and go and see her. You need to fix this, Derek, before Lydia does something incredibly stupid, like hooking up with the first guys she meets. She just might do that, you know."
"She won't," Derek protested. "I told her to go back to Jackson."
Stiles said, "That was really fucking stupid, Der, and I'll tell you why. Even though Jackson came back from London, and he decided to go to college here in the United States, he and Lydia were only together for six months. They had both changed too much, y'know? Lydia didn't want someone like Jackson anymore, and, besides that, he's dating Erica."
"I thought she was still with Boyd," Derek said. Stiles laughed.
"Dude, you are so out of the loops," he said, getting his laughter under control. "Boyd's dating your sister, duh. You need to talk to Cora more, obviously."
There was a bit of silence before Stiles said, "Get your head out of your ass, Derek. I mean it. Lydia isn't going to get hurt because of you. The pack has been together for years, and even though we have had some close calls, we're all still alive and kicking. Besides that, Lydia can take care of herself."
"I just need to make sure -"
"Derek, don't," Stiles said. "I know that you want to take care of everybody. I know that your family protected Beacon Hills. Even though we almost lost Boyd and Erica, and then later how we almost lost Allison, I know that was really difficult for you to deal with, but I think you need to realize that you can have nice things and you need to quit punishing yourself for everything that happened to your family. I don't care what you say, Der; it's not your fucking fault, okay? Now get your ass on a place and go to Lydia. Make sure you apologize to her for being such an oblivious idiot."
With that, Stiles hung up and Derek booked a ticket on the first flight out to Boston.
-x-
He had always been a nervous flier. Derek used to tell Laura that they were wolves, not birds, and wolves were meant to stay on the ground. Whenever he wanted to go anywhere, he would drive. But he figured he needed to see Lydia before the week it would take him to drive to Boston, so he decided to bite the bullet and fly. The whole flight, he was mentally freaking out, hoping that everything would be okay. Laura had told him more than once, "Planes are safer than cars, Der. You have a better chance of dying in a car accident than in a plane crash." Even though she had told him that quite a bit, he still hated flying.
Once they were on the ground and he was taking a taxi to Lydia's apartment, he was really thankful that Stiles had given him the address. Even though Lydia went east to go to MIT like she always wanted to, and even though Scott had a rule that everybody had to be able to be contacted at anytime of the day, Lydia was really hush hush about where she lived. When Lydia answered the door, she looked surprised to see him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked softly.
"No hello?" Derek asked. Lydia had looked at him like he had grown another head, so he said, "I thought you'd at least be happy to see me."
Lydia sighed before stepping aside, "You can come in. I mean, if you wanna."
Derek followed her inside the apartment and she said, "You want a beer or something?"
Derek just shrugged, making his way over to her couch. She went into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator, tossing one towards him. He caught it and watched her carefully.
"What are you doing here, Derek?" Lydia asked, popping the top on her own beer. She took a swig and watched him closely.
"I was wrong," Derek said automatically. Lydia looked at him quizzically, so he continued, "I had no right to tell you to leave. I really enjoyed spending that time with you this past summer, and I really do want more from you, Lydia. I...I like you a lot." He couldn't bring himself to say the word love. He figured it would come out eventually, but he wasn't sure how to say it. "I was trying to keep you safe."
"We've had some close calls with the pack, Derek," Lydia said, taking another swig. "I mean, there was when the alphas kidnapped Erica and Boyd, but we found them, didn't we? And when the Oni stabbed Allison? She's fine now, isn't she? So, I mean, everything works itself out. Besides that, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. Allison's been working with me forever on knife work, and I'm pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself. Don't worry about me."
"I need to protect you. I need to protect the pack."
"You're not the alpha anymore, Der," Lydia said. "You need to relax a little. Scott does a pretty good job keeping the pack safe, don't you think?"
Derek just nodded dumbly.
"Do you wanna try it? I mean, you and me, doing the dating thing?" Lydia asked softly. Derek sighed.
"I think I do," he said to her. Lydia grinned.
"I love you, Derek Hale," Lydia said, deciding that she wanted to put it out in the open. "I'm in love with you and I have been for a while. I don't expect you to say it back, not yet, or even ever if you don't wanna. So just so you know, I want to try this thing with you, and I'm all in."
Derek grinned, "That's great, Lydia, really." Lydia just grinned back.
-x-
Lydia and Derek started counting the summer they had been together as when they first got together. After a year of long distance phone calls, Skype, and the occasional in person visit, Derek decided that he wanted to be closer to Lydia, so the pack helped him pack up the few belongings he had and he moved in with Lydia at her apartment. He had decided that he didn't want the loft anymore, too, but he didn't need the money, so he gave it to Scott as a place where the pack could meet. He knew that Scott and Stiles had a small apartment, but he wanted a place where the pack could train or just hang out. Scott had been grateful.
After moving him in, Lydia and Derek decided to go out to dinner. As they sat in the diner down the street from her apartment (where Lydia ate quite a bit, let's be honest), Derek interlaced their fingers, looked deep into Lydia's eyes and said, "I love you too, Lydia Martin. I have for a while, but I haven't loved anyone since Kate, and I...I was afraid. But I know that you'll never hurt me."
Lydia smiled, "Thanks for telling me, Der. I just want you to know that I'm never going to
do anything to make you question how much I love you."
Derek smiled, "Yeah, I know." And he did. He knew they'd make it, one day at a time.
Sorry about the rambling, guys. I'm really manic right now, I have an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to get put on different meds. My thoughts are literally going in about a thousand different directions right now.
Also? You can find me on AO3 here and fanfiction.net here.