Just Call Me Charlie [1/2]
Title: Just Call Me Charlie
Rating: PG-13
Author: gabbie217
Pairings: Rachel/Charlie
Summary: "Guys! I have reason to believe that Charlie Sheen's new goddess is none other then Rachel Berry."
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoiler Alert: None.
Author's Note: This was going to be an Achele fic, but it would be too obvious. Since everyone knows Charlie is Dianna's nickname.
PS: Charlie does not = Quinn's Twin Charlotte.
Kurt loved working at the high-rollers club. It was so fancy that he was able to turn away people at the door if they didn't dress appropiately. Of course, he only go to do that every now and then. Because, really, his job was to hand out menus and run errands for the real Host. But whatever. And suprisingly, a lot of fancy rich people actaully come in. In fact, even a few celebrities. Lima is the kind of place well known individuals can come and do private business deals or private affairs without being discovered by the paparazzi.
Take Charlie Sheen for instance. He often comes with to Lima with his two goddess' and sits in the private back room, feeding them food. They'll play back there for hours, leaving only when it's closed or they're bored. Kurt loves when he has to fill in and wait on the man and his two ladies. Lately though, Kurt hasn't been allowed back there. Apparently Charlie has a new goddess and security is extra tight so no one will find out her identity.
Blaine has a theory that the girl is underage. Kurt doesn't want to think a young girl would actually do anything with the older man, but he's starting to agree. Why else would they not reveal who she is? The other two goddess' are not hidden away...
"Kurt!" bellowed the Host. "Are you deaf? I've asked you 5 times to set up Mr. Sheen's privaet room! Also, Room 3 has been reserved for the afternoon. Set that up when you're done with Mr. Sheen's room.
Nodding swiftly, Kurt hurried off. He needed to stop obsessing over who Charlie Sheen's new goddess was and focus on work.
**
Kurt filed his nails while people began streaming in for lunch and a quickie in the back. He paused when a vaguely familiar voice reached his ears. Looking up he saw a figure with a hood drawn over her face.
"Charlie..." the girl whispered. The host checker her id, and whisked her away.
Hands frozen in the motion of filing, Kurt stared after them. Rachel Berry was here for Charlie?!
**
"She was just lovely. Do you girls like her?" Charlie was asking as the threesome passed Kurt, on their way out.
"Oh yes! And her voice... amazing. I've never been turned on quite like that," purred goddess #1.
"She's so little! I absolutely adore her!" goddess #2 gushed.
Kurt tried not to faint. Amazing voice and little body is two different ways of describing Rachel Berry.
A minute after Charlie and the two goddess' left, Rachel came from the hallway, her cheeks flushed, her hair mussed, looking exactly like she had just spent four hours having sex.
"Rachel?" Kurt asked, unable to resist talking to her.
Jumping in fright, Rachel looked around, a slight wild look in her eyes. "Kurt! What are you doing here??"
"I work here," Kurt responded. Upon further examination, it became clearer and clearer that Rachel looked like sex. Her lips were bruised, several hickies were forming on her neck and chest, her hair looked like several fingers had threaded through it, and her eyes had this vacant but satisfied glint reflecting off the lights. Like she'd just had her brains fucked out. Kurt only knew because Blaine was a very good teacher...
"Oh. I-I.. I- Uh, I didn't know that." Rachel stammered. "I have to go!" Abruptly Rachel pushed past Kurt, her cheeks going redder.
Oh. My. God. Kurt thought. Rachel Berry is one of Charlie Sheen's... sex-toys! This required an emergency meeting. Whipping out his cell phone, Kurt texted everyone but Rachel, ordering them to be at the park in 30 minutes.
**
"Guys!" Kurt came over briskly over to the swings where his friends were waiting. He'd just gotten off of work and he couldn't wait to share his gossip. "You know how I told you about Charlie Sheen coming in a lot lately? And security and secrecy is tighter because he has a new goddess? And that Blaine thinks she's underage?"
Everyone gaves various versions of confirmation.
"Well, I have reason to believe that Charlie Sheen's new goddess is none other then Rachel Berry." Kurt announced dramatically.
After a beat of silence, the group of teens burst out laughing.
"Yeah, and I'm going to be the Chasity Queen!" Santana snickered.
"Kurt, dude. Rachel is too much of a prude." Finn said almost sympathetically.
"When she came in, she asked for CHARLIE!" Kurt protested
Quinn choked on her water. "You saw her go in and meet up with Charlie Sheen?"
"Well, no." Kurt admitted. "I just heard her ask for Charlie then go back to his room. She left like a minute after they did. They described the new goddess as 'so little' with an amazing voice who was just 'so adorable'."
Relaxing, Quinn gave a laugh. "I think you're reading too much into it. Charlie has done some stupid things, but he'd never do an underage girl."
Scowling, Kurt flopped into a swing. "I'm telling you, she's one of Charlie Sheen's goddess'."
"Kurt," Brittany clucked. "This is coming from me... That's a stupid conclusion."
"I'll prove you all wrong!" Kurt said stiffly. He got up and walked away, ignoring the words they shouted after him.
**
Going into work early the next day, Kurt rigged the audio tracker on the podium, where he could record everything that was said. He then slipped some microphones in the private rooms, risking jail time by doing so. He had to prove he was right. He knew Rachel was with Charlie!
That day neither Charlie or Rachel came. Nor the next day. And the third day, Kurt had off. The fourth day, Kurt hurried to work, switched the old tapes in with new ones.
**
Kurt wound through the tapes, searching for anything that might pin Rachel with Charlie Sheen.
"Charlie please," Rachel said. "Right this way miss. He is expecting you." "I know. I got up held up at home."
Fumbling with his tapes, Kurt switched to the private rooms, skipping to the same time.
"Thank you," Rachel said softly. The sound of the door closing echoed down the hall.
Kurt waited patiently, listening to the sounds of food being eaten and liquid being drank.
"I missed you too," Rachel whispered. "I'm sorry for making you wait. But Kurt- wait for a day off."
Scowling, Kurt realized all the money he had spent on the damn recorders couldn't get him one that picked up everything. Then Kurt felt the blood drain from his face. Rachel and Charlie were making out. Moans of pleasure filled his ears, and Kurt had to work hard not to gag.
"Say my name," a low voice growled. "Say my name Rachel!"
"Charlie!" Rachel panted. She made soft mewling sounds. "Oh god yes! Charlie! Right there!"
Kurt yanked off the headphone, trembling. He had enough evidence. Tomorrow Kurt would go to McKinely, armed with his evidence.