It's all satan's fault
This morning my mother and i were discussing politics. That was a mistake. She went off on how GW has nothing to do with our country's current issues... he's the fucking president. and he has nothing to do with it. ha. that's so stupid.
THen she went on to say that everything is Satan's fault and, Why do you think the bible says there will be a single government for the whole world? It's the end times. It's all satan.
you see, if i express my REAL political views to her, unabridged and unedited, she'll call an exorcist, or a priest or something. Everything is satan's fault... nothing is ever the fault of human flaw, or power-hungry government officials, and GW is a god at my house My mother is the most closed minded person i have ever met. If she ever knew my religious stance, she would burn me at the stake or crucify me or something. Everything is Satan's fault.
Sometimes i worry about her. She blames everything on the devil or demons or something... and she honestly believes that everything bad that happens ih her or anyone else's life is the doing of Lucifer. She is Bi-Polar... i dunno if it's a bad thing that she blames everything on the devil.... maybe it helps her cope with her problems... but i don't know. I get tired of not being able to be... myself when i'm at home... i have to hide everything and it's really, really hard
i can move out in less than a year, (december 17th) and i am really trying to get my room and possessions straightened out so i can do that with ease. I can't wait to get out of there... but while i'm there, i know that it would be better to keep my mouth shut for the remaining year, and easier... but it is so hard to do that... mostly, i think, because i AM growing up and I AM an individual, and a person can't really survive on... borrowed light. They make me go to church, they don't know that i don't believe in the same things that they do... I don't believe the Christian religion is.... uhm... well, they go about it as "everyone is going to go to hell if they aren't a christian," and every church in the area is likek that.... christianity here is almost as bad as like, Jehovah's witnesses are (as far as the "i want to convert you to my religion" aspect goes) and i don't agree with it. I think that a person's religion isn't really what happens to them when they die, but some how religion is somethign that makes you want to be a better person in genreal, providing moral values and goals etc... but i don't think that if you are of a certain religion only you will go to heaven, or whatever, and everyone else will burn. What about, like, ghandi or even John Lennon or something? the thing is, i used to believe in that stuff, like, all things bad were of the devil and all things good are godly or whatever, and i used to go to church all the time and i used to yell at people because they were going to hell. I used to always believe what my mom tells me and nothing else, but i can't do that.... over the past few years, i've discovered so many things that christianity doesn't explain, things that aren't understandable are deemed as evil, when really... some things aren't.
it's just... i don't know how much longer i can deal with living there and keeping my mouth shut. I don't let them read my editorials because most of them are politically or religiously based... it's just a mess
ANd then there's this Dixie/Justin business. Justin is madly in love with me and openly proclaims so, even though i have a boyfriend who i DO love and who i DO want to stay with. I care about Justin and all, but honestly... Andy is... I don't know. There are so many things about him that i love and that i want to keep, and i want to stay with him for as long as i can.
With Dixie... I almost got in a fight with her on friday, she was running around Mesa Theater screaming, at the top of her lungs, that she hates me, that I'm a whore, a ho, etc. It was more like she was stumbling around mesa theater and sort of slurring those things... then she walked up to me and flipped me off about an inch away from my nose. I have never wanted to kick someone in the face before... I've never been that angry. It sort of scared me.
THen she went on to say that everything is Satan's fault and, Why do you think the bible says there will be a single government for the whole world? It's the end times. It's all satan.
you see, if i express my REAL political views to her, unabridged and unedited, she'll call an exorcist, or a priest or something. Everything is satan's fault... nothing is ever the fault of human flaw, or power-hungry government officials, and GW is a god at my house My mother is the most closed minded person i have ever met. If she ever knew my religious stance, she would burn me at the stake or crucify me or something. Everything is Satan's fault.
Sometimes i worry about her. She blames everything on the devil or demons or something... and she honestly believes that everything bad that happens ih her or anyone else's life is the doing of Lucifer. She is Bi-Polar... i dunno if it's a bad thing that she blames everything on the devil.... maybe it helps her cope with her problems... but i don't know. I get tired of not being able to be... myself when i'm at home... i have to hide everything and it's really, really hard
i can move out in less than a year, (december 17th) and i am really trying to get my room and possessions straightened out so i can do that with ease. I can't wait to get out of there... but while i'm there, i know that it would be better to keep my mouth shut for the remaining year, and easier... but it is so hard to do that... mostly, i think, because i AM growing up and I AM an individual, and a person can't really survive on... borrowed light. They make me go to church, they don't know that i don't believe in the same things that they do... I don't believe the Christian religion is.... uhm... well, they go about it as "everyone is going to go to hell if they aren't a christian," and every church in the area is likek that.... christianity here is almost as bad as like, Jehovah's witnesses are (as far as the "i want to convert you to my religion" aspect goes) and i don't agree with it. I think that a person's religion isn't really what happens to them when they die, but some how religion is somethign that makes you want to be a better person in genreal, providing moral values and goals etc... but i don't think that if you are of a certain religion only you will go to heaven, or whatever, and everyone else will burn. What about, like, ghandi or even John Lennon or something? the thing is, i used to believe in that stuff, like, all things bad were of the devil and all things good are godly or whatever, and i used to go to church all the time and i used to yell at people because they were going to hell. I used to always believe what my mom tells me and nothing else, but i can't do that.... over the past few years, i've discovered so many things that christianity doesn't explain, things that aren't understandable are deemed as evil, when really... some things aren't.
it's just... i don't know how much longer i can deal with living there and keeping my mouth shut. I don't let them read my editorials because most of them are politically or religiously based... it's just a mess
ANd then there's this Dixie/Justin business. Justin is madly in love with me and openly proclaims so, even though i have a boyfriend who i DO love and who i DO want to stay with. I care about Justin and all, but honestly... Andy is... I don't know. There are so many things about him that i love and that i want to keep, and i want to stay with him for as long as i can.
With Dixie... I almost got in a fight with her on friday, she was running around Mesa Theater screaming, at the top of her lungs, that she hates me, that I'm a whore, a ho, etc. It was more like she was stumbling around mesa theater and sort of slurring those things... then she walked up to me and flipped me off about an inch away from my nose. I have never wanted to kick someone in the face before... I've never been that angry. It sort of scared me.