killing me softly
wow i cant even handle things right now.
my mom left for europe for a week and a half. there goes my life, til she gets home at least.
lauren is working all weekend. ugh. i wanna hang out.
tyler is in a rut, because i wont go to that damn concert alone, and he wont come alone with me. i dont want to deal with his gay friends especially while they are drunk. but he can't ditch them for me. oh and tonight i'm a hassle because he cant hang out with baret and alec and those guys and he's hanging out with noah and andy after the concert so he just cant please everyone this weekend. sorry to get in the way again. oh and now i have to drive every where (not like i didnt before) but now i HAVE to. because tyler wrecked his effing car. we were drawing on the windsheild and tyler wasnt paying attention and hit the median at like 40-50 and it was basically like a ramp. we flew in the air, landed, popped the tires, hit part of the reflector sign, he fucked up the door and the side of his car, and his parents and the tow guy and the police all had to come. it was some mad drama, but eh what does it teach you. pay attention to the fucking road and dont draw on the windsheild.
this friends thing is wearing me out. i am starting to realize how few true friends i have. and if i do, they arent close enough that i can see them often enough. i apologized profusely to kristy today. sweet how she still didnt say a word to me. even alexys says i was being too apologetic, and coming from her you know you're going overboard. nothing else i can do i suppose. i refuse to apologize to katie though. i have apologized so many fucking times and each time i put myself out there i get shreded to pieces. and oh yah, she never apologizes to me and if she does it's a half ass one with a "but you did this"....i'm sorry she's just perfect in everyway, and she has made this friendship as good as it possibly could be, and im sorry it's me who is always the fuck up. yah right. UGH i just get so frusterated. girls girls girls.
i wanna curl up and die right now. i could literally puke my guts out at a time like this. i get naseous when i think about things like this. maybe thats the feeling i get when i hold back tears. i dont know. i am just sick of dealing with this...
the only good thing that's come out of it is that since i dont have as many people to please right now i am getting a lot of effing homework done....yah last night i did 4 math assignements, memorized a fable, did health homework, did other french homework, and was still able to go to my stuco thing, which SUCKED ASS.
ugh. why isnt life easy. its just full of dillemas and many other problems.
basically i give up for the time being. i need a boost.
oh and should i go to this pepper concert, or motocross? yah i dont know either.
my mom left for europe for a week and a half. there goes my life, til she gets home at least.
lauren is working all weekend. ugh. i wanna hang out.
tyler is in a rut, because i wont go to that damn concert alone, and he wont come alone with me. i dont want to deal with his gay friends especially while they are drunk. but he can't ditch them for me. oh and tonight i'm a hassle because he cant hang out with baret and alec and those guys and he's hanging out with noah and andy after the concert so he just cant please everyone this weekend. sorry to get in the way again. oh and now i have to drive every where (not like i didnt before) but now i HAVE to. because tyler wrecked his effing car. we were drawing on the windsheild and tyler wasnt paying attention and hit the median at like 40-50 and it was basically like a ramp. we flew in the air, landed, popped the tires, hit part of the reflector sign, he fucked up the door and the side of his car, and his parents and the tow guy and the police all had to come. it was some mad drama, but eh what does it teach you. pay attention to the fucking road and dont draw on the windsheild.
this friends thing is wearing me out. i am starting to realize how few true friends i have. and if i do, they arent close enough that i can see them often enough. i apologized profusely to kristy today. sweet how she still didnt say a word to me. even alexys says i was being too apologetic, and coming from her you know you're going overboard. nothing else i can do i suppose. i refuse to apologize to katie though. i have apologized so many fucking times and each time i put myself out there i get shreded to pieces. and oh yah, she never apologizes to me and if she does it's a half ass one with a "but you did this"....i'm sorry she's just perfect in everyway, and she has made this friendship as good as it possibly could be, and im sorry it's me who is always the fuck up. yah right. UGH i just get so frusterated. girls girls girls.
i wanna curl up and die right now. i could literally puke my guts out at a time like this. i get naseous when i think about things like this. maybe thats the feeling i get when i hold back tears. i dont know. i am just sick of dealing with this...
the only good thing that's come out of it is that since i dont have as many people to please right now i am getting a lot of effing homework done....yah last night i did 4 math assignements, memorized a fable, did health homework, did other french homework, and was still able to go to my stuco thing, which SUCKED ASS.
ugh. why isnt life easy. its just full of dillemas and many other problems.
basically i give up for the time being. i need a boost.
oh and should i go to this pepper concert, or motocross? yah i dont know either.