New fic: Something About You
I wanted to post this fic (actually part 1 of a trilogy) written by myself and GraveDancer. It's on the fanfic boards (under my other writing name, marilyns_child). Comments, feedback, praise, etc. are always appreciated.
Title: Something About You
Authors: GraveDancer & YourOnlyBelle (aka Marilyns_child)
Rating: Later, M.
Pairings: Mer/Mark, Mer/Der
Summary: AU. Meredith and Mark are engaged. Meredith and Derek hate each other. Tragedy strikes and Meredith and Derek are left to cope. Entirely alone and yet entirely together.
Warnings: Death fic.
She stood apart from everyone else, cradling the empty wine glass against her chest as she tried to hide behind his mother's curtains. People were laughing, crying, swapping stories, and yet she, the one person who should be feeling the most, was standing apart from everyone. She looked uncomfortable in a black dress, her hair falling onto her shoulders as she stared into the wine glass. There were no tears in her eyes, nor was there any redness suggesting earlier tears. She looked pulled together, she looked okay. She should look broken. Instead she just looked like usual beautiful Meredith. Beautiful, she had always been beautiful Meredith. Which is what he always assumed is what Mark had seen her. Even on the day she should look her worse, she looked beautiful.
Derek Shepherd sighed as he looked into his own empty glass, wondering where exactly the drink he had been nursing had gone. He didn't look pulled together, he knew that. The past few months hadn't been easy, but that morning had been the hardest. There was something intrinsically wrong with attending your best friend's funeral. Your brother's funeral.
Things had moved so quickly, everything had changed so quickly. Six months ago everyone had been happily working in the same hospital, going for drinks at Joe's, things had felt damn close to perfect. And then one day...one day and everything had fallen apart. And now he was stuck wearing his best black suit, which Mark should appreciate as he knew damn well he hated it, staring at his brother's fiancée, who should be falling apart, but she wasn't.
He had stared at her for most of the day, wondering where Mark had gotten the idea that Meredith would need taking care of. It had been one of the last things Mark had said to him, had asked of him. Take care of Meredith. But she didn't look like she needed it. At the wake, she had stood tall, accepting each remorse-filled comment with a nod and a pat on the hand, her engagement ring sparkling in the dimmed light.
He had been there when Mark had met her, Derek had actually been the first one to notice her giggle. Mark had gone off with her, like he always did and Derek had expected to never see her again. And yet here she was, at his brother's funeral, wearing his brother's engagement ring, looking perfectly fine. He remembered the early months of knowing her, of trying to like her, it just never happened.
There had always been something about her. At first, she was a medical student, knocking back tequila shots and flirting with every man in sight. And then she was an intern, knocking back tequila shots and flirting with Mark. Being with Mark. No matter how hard Derek had tried, he hadn't been able to like her, to accept her. But they had tried for the past month, tried to get along. For Mark, at least.
He still wasn't sure why Meredith had been the one that stuck. Mark was a man whore, lovable, charming and a man whore. No woman was supposed to stick, least of all the flighty Meredith. She was gorgeous, captivatingly beautiful, but she wasn't the girl you got serious about. She was the girl you slept with and left. And yet, something about her had stuck with Mark. He didn't get it.
He had tried to figure it out. All during the time Mark and Meredith had been dating, he had tried to figure it out. He took Mark out for drinks, even to a strip club once or twice, and yet his brother couldn't stop talking about her. He, like the rest of the family, had been absolutely shocked when Mark had proposed to the surprised medical student on Christmas Eve one year earlier. And he had been even more surprised when Meredith had said yes.
Even after that he wasn't buying it. Meredith Grey didn't love Mark Sloan, she couldn't have. She was enthralled by Mark. He was the successful plastic surgeon, Meredith was the wide eyed medical student. She wasn't serious about anything, he wondered how she even made it through med school. He wanted to believe she loved him, but he couldn't. Especially now with her holding everything together.
He tore his eyes away from her for a moment to look around the room. To look at his mother who was trying to hold it together, but just couldn't. To his sisters who sat in a shocked and numb silence. To Mark's parents, who had never really loved their son, but were now shaken to the core by what they had lost. And then his eyes went back to Meredith. Nothing. Not a single bit of emotion from the woman who had wanted to spend the rest of her life with Mark.
He had known that Meredith wasn't like other girls. When Mark proposed she hadn't cried, just calmly said yes, with a tiny smile on her face. She didn't run out and go wedding gown shopping. He wasn't even sure they had even set a date before Mark had gotten sick. She wasn't full of emotions and feelings. He knew that. But he would have never expected this cold silence from her at her own fiancé’s funeral.
After the past few months of caring for Mark, he assumed she was tired. He had been there for the last few days, too. She didn't seem to sleep, and she kept a brave face for everyone. He was tired too. They had both been there when Mark had stopped breathing, when the machines had let out the long melancholy beeps that Derek had gotten used to since becoming a doctor. She hadn't cried then either. She hadn't said a word.
She never left his room, which had impressed him. The first thing she had ever done that had impressed him. She had stuck by his side, when he had expected her to run. And then the only time she had left Mark had made him make that promise. To take care of Meredith when he was gone. And Derek couldn't have denied him that, not at that moment. So now he was stuck with her.
Suddenly, she moved from her spot behind the curtains and went towards the open bar. Mark had made plenty of jokes about his funeral, but he had made both Meredith and Derek swear there would be an open bar. "I want people so drunk they start telling the truth about how they really felt." He watched her as she poured herself another glass of wine, a departure from her usual tequila.
He wondered if Mark's words would come true, that Meredith would get drunk enough to say how she really felt. He assumed that would be interesting and it had always been something he had always wanted to hear. Because he could never figure it quite out. Of course wine wouldn't get her there quickly, but still, he hoped she'd do something, anything to show she felt something.
He watched as one of her friends, Isobel Stevens, came towards her. Izzie was the sort of person who laughed at funerals, but even she seemed to have more emotion on her face than Meredith. She put her hand gently on Meredith's forearm and Derek moved in closer to overhear the conversation. "Mer..." Izzie whispered. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Meredith whispered, her voice flat as she didn't even look at her friend.
"Where are you staying tonight?" Izzie asked gently.
"I don't know," Meredith shrugged. "I'll figure it out. A hotel or something."
Derek frowned as he realized Meredith hadn't been back to her apartment in days. It was probably why the dress looked so wrong on her, it wasn't hers. "You can stay with us, Mer," her friend offered. "George and I would be glad to have you."
"No, no," she shook her head quickly. "You...you and George don't need me around. You're happy....and...you don't need me. I'm not going to impose. A hotel is fine."
"You're not staying in a hotel," Cristina Yang came up behind the group, not bothering to really lower her voice. "That's stupid, Meredith."
"No it's not, I like hotels. I can go swimming or something," Meredith responded.
"In January?" Cristina scoffed. "Great idea there, Mer."
"Inside, they have a pool inside," Meredith argued. "I'll be fine. I'm not staying with anyone. I'm fine."
"Mer," Izzie lowered her voice, "we're just worried about you. I mean, Mark's...Mark's dead."
"Seriously Barbie?" Cristina asked rolling her eyes. "I think she knows that. Meredith, you're not fine. Come to my place. We can get stupid drunk and you can crash on my couch, or bed, or wherever."
"Or you can come over to our place," Izzie smiled. "I'll bake. And we can talk, if you want. But I'll bake. Whatever you want. Muffins, of course."
"Hotel, I'm staying in a hotel," Meredith said firmly. "I...no, hotel. I'm not imposing and I don't want...I'm staying in a hotel."
Derek saw the worried look shared between Izzie and Cristina and he moved towards the open bar, Mark's exhausted voice going through his head. Watch out for her Shep. Please. Just, watch out for her. "Actually," he sighed, reaching for a bottle of scotch, "Meredith, you're coming back to my place tonight."
Her eyes widened in shock as she looked at him. "What? No. No way. No."
"Don't look so shocked, I don't like it either," he groaned. "But Mark asked me to look out for you. And that's what I'm going to do."
"You..." Meredith began to protest but something crossed her through her eyes. The look shocked Derek, it nearly looked like sadness or something similar. It looked like maybe for just a second she was missing Mark, and maybe she was grateful he was there. "Do you have a spare bedroom?"
"Of course," he nodded.
"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly. "Mark...if Mark wanted you to look out for me...I'll go. For the night or something."
"Until you get on your feet," Derek sighed.
"I...not long, it won't be long," Meredith said quickly.
"Good," he nodded. "Where did you stay last night?"
"I slept at the hospital," Meredith whispered quietly.
"Mer!" Izzie gasped. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I was fine," Meredith protested.
"Because people who are fine sleep in hospitals instead of their apartments," Cristina rolled her eyes.
"I was fine," Meredith repeated, glaring at her friend. "And Derek, I'll stay with Derek now."
"We'll have to stop by the apartment to get your things," Derek jumped into the conversation.
"Oh...umm...yeah," Meredith said quietly, nodding and not meeting Derek's eyes. "The apartment."
He felt a bit of sympathy for her in that moment, but wasn't entirely sure why. He had expected more from her. He had expected her to beg not to go to the apartment. "We'll pick up the stuff for you, Mer," Izzie whispered.
"That works," he heard himself saying. He wasn't sure why, Meredith hadn't bothered protesting but there had been something in her eyes that told him not to push it. He was supposed to be looking out for her and he couldn't push her in there. "Meredith can sleep in one of my shirts tonight so just drop her stuff off in my office tomorrow."
"Office," Meredith looked up, "I have to go to M-his office tomorrow."
"Why?" Cristina asked.
"Clean it out," Meredith answered, almost robotically. "They, uh, for the new...the new head of plastics."
"I'll help," Derek offered.
"I can do it," she sighed. "I can. It's just...pictures and stuff. Books and pictures. That's it. I'll be okay. I'm fine. I can do it."
"He was my brother," Derek sighed. "I want to help."
"Oh," Meredith chewed on her bottom lip. "Um...okay."
"We can figure out a time we can both do it," Derek sighed.
"It has to be before noon tomorrow," she told him. "The new...he wants his office."
"We'll get it done," Derek nodded.
"Okay," she nodded and then drained her wine. "Can we...is it...when...how long do we have to stay?"
Derek sighed and looked around the room. The crowd had thinned out, it was mainly just his family remaining. "We can go now if you want."
"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "Let me just...talk to Mom, your mom. Mrs. Shepherd."
"You can still call her Mom, she'd want you to," Derek shrugged, knowing his mom adored Meredith. He had never understood it, but it was something to do with Mark being happy.
"She's not..." Meredith shook her head. "Mark and I aren't engaged anymore."
"I know," Derek sighed. "But it's not that easy to get out of my family."
"You don't have to leave the family, dear," Mrs. Shepherd had apparently overheard the conversation as she pulled Meredith into a hug, fresh tears falling from her face. "You are still Markie's fiancee. We have to stick together."
"Oh...umm....okay," Meredith said, awkwardly wrapping her arms around the woman that was supposed to be her future mother-in-law.
"He loved you, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd sobbed, pulling back to look Meredith in the eyes. "I had never seen him happier."
"I loved him too," Meredith whispered.
Derek watched the scene, trying to muster up sympathy for Meredith. Trying to believe her words. But her eyes were still dry, hard, empty. She said the words in a whisper, but there wasn't any emotion to accompany them. "I'm taking Meredith back to my place, Mom," he told his mother.
"Good," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "She needs her family right now, we don't want her alone. Thank you, Derek."
"Mark wanted me to watch after her," Derek shrugged.
"Of course he did," she nodded turning back to Meredith. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "Really."
"If you need anything don't be afraid to call. I'll come by tomorrow," Mrs. Shepherd said.
"You don't have to," Meredith shook her head. "Really, I'm fine. Perfectly fine."
"No one expects you to be fine," Mrs. Shepherd argued. "Derek, let her sleep in your bed tonight. That thing you call a bed in your guest room is like a rock."
"Mom," Derek sighed, "the bed in the guest room is perfect."
"Good, which means you won't mind sleeping in it," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.
"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes as he hugged her. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you too," Mrs. Shepherd said, pulling away from Derek and hugging Meredith again. "I love you, Meredith."
"You too, Mrs.---Mom," Meredith nodded.
"Get some sleep, you both look like you need it," Mrs. Shepherd urged.
"You too, Mom," Derek told her. He suddenly felt exhausted, like he had just run a marathon instead of been to his brother's funeral.
"Can we go now?" Meredith asked quietly.
"Yes," Derek nodded. "Let's go."
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
Title: Something About You
Authors: GraveDancer & YourOnlyBelle (aka Marilyns_child)
Rating: Later, M.
Pairings: Mer/Mark, Mer/Der
Summary: AU. Meredith and Mark are engaged. Meredith and Derek hate each other. Tragedy strikes and Meredith and Derek are left to cope. Entirely alone and yet entirely together.
Warnings: Death fic.
She stood apart from everyone else, cradling the empty wine glass against her chest as she tried to hide behind his mother's curtains. People were laughing, crying, swapping stories, and yet she, the one person who should be feeling the most, was standing apart from everyone. She looked uncomfortable in a black dress, her hair falling onto her shoulders as she stared into the wine glass. There were no tears in her eyes, nor was there any redness suggesting earlier tears. She looked pulled together, she looked okay. She should look broken. Instead she just looked like usual beautiful Meredith. Beautiful, she had always been beautiful Meredith. Which is what he always assumed is what Mark had seen her. Even on the day she should look her worse, she looked beautiful.
Derek Shepherd sighed as he looked into his own empty glass, wondering where exactly the drink he had been nursing had gone. He didn't look pulled together, he knew that. The past few months hadn't been easy, but that morning had been the hardest. There was something intrinsically wrong with attending your best friend's funeral. Your brother's funeral.
Things had moved so quickly, everything had changed so quickly. Six months ago everyone had been happily working in the same hospital, going for drinks at Joe's, things had felt damn close to perfect. And then one day...one day and everything had fallen apart. And now he was stuck wearing his best black suit, which Mark should appreciate as he knew damn well he hated it, staring at his brother's fiancée, who should be falling apart, but she wasn't.
He had stared at her for most of the day, wondering where Mark had gotten the idea that Meredith would need taking care of. It had been one of the last things Mark had said to him, had asked of him. Take care of Meredith. But she didn't look like she needed it. At the wake, she had stood tall, accepting each remorse-filled comment with a nod and a pat on the hand, her engagement ring sparkling in the dimmed light.
He had been there when Mark had met her, Derek had actually been the first one to notice her giggle. Mark had gone off with her, like he always did and Derek had expected to never see her again. And yet here she was, at his brother's funeral, wearing his brother's engagement ring, looking perfectly fine. He remembered the early months of knowing her, of trying to like her, it just never happened.
There had always been something about her. At first, she was a medical student, knocking back tequila shots and flirting with every man in sight. And then she was an intern, knocking back tequila shots and flirting with Mark. Being with Mark. No matter how hard Derek had tried, he hadn't been able to like her, to accept her. But they had tried for the past month, tried to get along. For Mark, at least.
He still wasn't sure why Meredith had been the one that stuck. Mark was a man whore, lovable, charming and a man whore. No woman was supposed to stick, least of all the flighty Meredith. She was gorgeous, captivatingly beautiful, but she wasn't the girl you got serious about. She was the girl you slept with and left. And yet, something about her had stuck with Mark. He didn't get it.
He had tried to figure it out. All during the time Mark and Meredith had been dating, he had tried to figure it out. He took Mark out for drinks, even to a strip club once or twice, and yet his brother couldn't stop talking about her. He, like the rest of the family, had been absolutely shocked when Mark had proposed to the surprised medical student on Christmas Eve one year earlier. And he had been even more surprised when Meredith had said yes.
Even after that he wasn't buying it. Meredith Grey didn't love Mark Sloan, she couldn't have. She was enthralled by Mark. He was the successful plastic surgeon, Meredith was the wide eyed medical student. She wasn't serious about anything, he wondered how she even made it through med school. He wanted to believe she loved him, but he couldn't. Especially now with her holding everything together.
He tore his eyes away from her for a moment to look around the room. To look at his mother who was trying to hold it together, but just couldn't. To his sisters who sat in a shocked and numb silence. To Mark's parents, who had never really loved their son, but were now shaken to the core by what they had lost. And then his eyes went back to Meredith. Nothing. Not a single bit of emotion from the woman who had wanted to spend the rest of her life with Mark.
He had known that Meredith wasn't like other girls. When Mark proposed she hadn't cried, just calmly said yes, with a tiny smile on her face. She didn't run out and go wedding gown shopping. He wasn't even sure they had even set a date before Mark had gotten sick. She wasn't full of emotions and feelings. He knew that. But he would have never expected this cold silence from her at her own fiancé’s funeral.
After the past few months of caring for Mark, he assumed she was tired. He had been there for the last few days, too. She didn't seem to sleep, and she kept a brave face for everyone. He was tired too. They had both been there when Mark had stopped breathing, when the machines had let out the long melancholy beeps that Derek had gotten used to since becoming a doctor. She hadn't cried then either. She hadn't said a word.
She never left his room, which had impressed him. The first thing she had ever done that had impressed him. She had stuck by his side, when he had expected her to run. And then the only time she had left Mark had made him make that promise. To take care of Meredith when he was gone. And Derek couldn't have denied him that, not at that moment. So now he was stuck with her.
Suddenly, she moved from her spot behind the curtains and went towards the open bar. Mark had made plenty of jokes about his funeral, but he had made both Meredith and Derek swear there would be an open bar. "I want people so drunk they start telling the truth about how they really felt." He watched her as she poured herself another glass of wine, a departure from her usual tequila.
He wondered if Mark's words would come true, that Meredith would get drunk enough to say how she really felt. He assumed that would be interesting and it had always been something he had always wanted to hear. Because he could never figure it quite out. Of course wine wouldn't get her there quickly, but still, he hoped she'd do something, anything to show she felt something.
He watched as one of her friends, Isobel Stevens, came towards her. Izzie was the sort of person who laughed at funerals, but even she seemed to have more emotion on her face than Meredith. She put her hand gently on Meredith's forearm and Derek moved in closer to overhear the conversation. "Mer..." Izzie whispered. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Meredith whispered, her voice flat as she didn't even look at her friend.
"Where are you staying tonight?" Izzie asked gently.
"I don't know," Meredith shrugged. "I'll figure it out. A hotel or something."
Derek frowned as he realized Meredith hadn't been back to her apartment in days. It was probably why the dress looked so wrong on her, it wasn't hers. "You can stay with us, Mer," her friend offered. "George and I would be glad to have you."
"No, no," she shook her head quickly. "You...you and George don't need me around. You're happy....and...you don't need me. I'm not going to impose. A hotel is fine."
"You're not staying in a hotel," Cristina Yang came up behind the group, not bothering to really lower her voice. "That's stupid, Meredith."
"No it's not, I like hotels. I can go swimming or something," Meredith responded.
"In January?" Cristina scoffed. "Great idea there, Mer."
"Inside, they have a pool inside," Meredith argued. "I'll be fine. I'm not staying with anyone. I'm fine."
"Mer," Izzie lowered her voice, "we're just worried about you. I mean, Mark's...Mark's dead."
"Seriously Barbie?" Cristina asked rolling her eyes. "I think she knows that. Meredith, you're not fine. Come to my place. We can get stupid drunk and you can crash on my couch, or bed, or wherever."
"Or you can come over to our place," Izzie smiled. "I'll bake. And we can talk, if you want. But I'll bake. Whatever you want. Muffins, of course."
"Hotel, I'm staying in a hotel," Meredith said firmly. "I...no, hotel. I'm not imposing and I don't want...I'm staying in a hotel."
Derek saw the worried look shared between Izzie and Cristina and he moved towards the open bar, Mark's exhausted voice going through his head. Watch out for her Shep. Please. Just, watch out for her. "Actually," he sighed, reaching for a bottle of scotch, "Meredith, you're coming back to my place tonight."
Her eyes widened in shock as she looked at him. "What? No. No way. No."
"Don't look so shocked, I don't like it either," he groaned. "But Mark asked me to look out for you. And that's what I'm going to do."
"You..." Meredith began to protest but something crossed her through her eyes. The look shocked Derek, it nearly looked like sadness or something similar. It looked like maybe for just a second she was missing Mark, and maybe she was grateful he was there. "Do you have a spare bedroom?"
"Of course," he nodded.
"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly. "Mark...if Mark wanted you to look out for me...I'll go. For the night or something."
"Until you get on your feet," Derek sighed.
"I...not long, it won't be long," Meredith said quickly.
"Good," he nodded. "Where did you stay last night?"
"I slept at the hospital," Meredith whispered quietly.
"Mer!" Izzie gasped. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I was fine," Meredith protested.
"Because people who are fine sleep in hospitals instead of their apartments," Cristina rolled her eyes.
"I was fine," Meredith repeated, glaring at her friend. "And Derek, I'll stay with Derek now."
"We'll have to stop by the apartment to get your things," Derek jumped into the conversation.
"Oh...umm...yeah," Meredith said quietly, nodding and not meeting Derek's eyes. "The apartment."
He felt a bit of sympathy for her in that moment, but wasn't entirely sure why. He had expected more from her. He had expected her to beg not to go to the apartment. "We'll pick up the stuff for you, Mer," Izzie whispered.
"That works," he heard himself saying. He wasn't sure why, Meredith hadn't bothered protesting but there had been something in her eyes that told him not to push it. He was supposed to be looking out for her and he couldn't push her in there. "Meredith can sleep in one of my shirts tonight so just drop her stuff off in my office tomorrow."
"Office," Meredith looked up, "I have to go to M-his office tomorrow."
"Why?" Cristina asked.
"Clean it out," Meredith answered, almost robotically. "They, uh, for the new...the new head of plastics."
"I'll help," Derek offered.
"I can do it," she sighed. "I can. It's just...pictures and stuff. Books and pictures. That's it. I'll be okay. I'm fine. I can do it."
"He was my brother," Derek sighed. "I want to help."
"Oh," Meredith chewed on her bottom lip. "Um...okay."
"We can figure out a time we can both do it," Derek sighed.
"It has to be before noon tomorrow," she told him. "The new...he wants his office."
"We'll get it done," Derek nodded.
"Okay," she nodded and then drained her wine. "Can we...is it...when...how long do we have to stay?"
Derek sighed and looked around the room. The crowd had thinned out, it was mainly just his family remaining. "We can go now if you want."
"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "Let me just...talk to Mom, your mom. Mrs. Shepherd."
"You can still call her Mom, she'd want you to," Derek shrugged, knowing his mom adored Meredith. He had never understood it, but it was something to do with Mark being happy.
"She's not..." Meredith shook her head. "Mark and I aren't engaged anymore."
"I know," Derek sighed. "But it's not that easy to get out of my family."
"You don't have to leave the family, dear," Mrs. Shepherd had apparently overheard the conversation as she pulled Meredith into a hug, fresh tears falling from her face. "You are still Markie's fiancee. We have to stick together."
"Oh...umm....okay," Meredith said, awkwardly wrapping her arms around the woman that was supposed to be her future mother-in-law.
"He loved you, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd sobbed, pulling back to look Meredith in the eyes. "I had never seen him happier."
"I loved him too," Meredith whispered.
Derek watched the scene, trying to muster up sympathy for Meredith. Trying to believe her words. But her eyes were still dry, hard, empty. She said the words in a whisper, but there wasn't any emotion to accompany them. "I'm taking Meredith back to my place, Mom," he told his mother.
"Good," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "She needs her family right now, we don't want her alone. Thank you, Derek."
"Mark wanted me to watch after her," Derek shrugged.
"Of course he did," she nodded turning back to Meredith. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "Really."
"If you need anything don't be afraid to call. I'll come by tomorrow," Mrs. Shepherd said.
"You don't have to," Meredith shook her head. "Really, I'm fine. Perfectly fine."
"No one expects you to be fine," Mrs. Shepherd argued. "Derek, let her sleep in your bed tonight. That thing you call a bed in your guest room is like a rock."
"Mom," Derek sighed, "the bed in the guest room is perfect."
"Good, which means you won't mind sleeping in it," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.
"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes as he hugged her. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you too," Mrs. Shepherd said, pulling away from Derek and hugging Meredith again. "I love you, Meredith."
"You too, Mrs.---Mom," Meredith nodded.
"Get some sleep, you both look like you need it," Mrs. Shepherd urged.
"You too, Mom," Derek told her. He suddenly felt exhausted, like he had just run a marathon instead of been to his brother's funeral.
"Can we go now?" Meredith asked quietly.
"Yes," Derek nodded. "Let's go."
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.