Ficlet
Title: Sunday Morning
Author: rocknromantic
Rating: T
Pairing: Mer/Der
Summary: Might be spoiler-ish if you haven’t seen the last ep’.
Just some random drabble in Derek’s perspective.
You pace the trailer like you’ve been doing for the past hour. Your discarded suit hangs carelessly on the floor beside your dignity. It’s almost reminiscent of a few months ago when you had slept with her in an exam room, her panties purposely stuffed into your coat pocket. The same confusion hangs over you, just this time you wish you smelled like her.. the smell you hadn’t washed off for days, the smell that had consumed your trailer - sex and lavender hung around you like a fog. Now all that fills up the empty space is doubt and scotch, both things that don’t add up to Meredith Grey.
‘This is a game to you.. but not to me’, it never was a game, winning her heart never had any rules. If they did she knew what they where and obviously wasn’t willing to open up about them. Their were no other players involved.. no one to call out if you were cheating when you jumped straight into love. Because it was quick, the first night you touched her.. it was love. She smiled in that perfect way you adore - her eyes crinkling up at the corners, her perfect lips wide with amusement.
Winning Addison had been a game between Mark and yourself. It was who could sleep with her first, who could marry her first.. but Mark had won when he screwed her. She had rules and you knew them - don’t get too emotionally involved - don’t question things you don’t want to know about and don’t pretend forever is for everyone. You never were emotionally involved in the first place, Mark was.. or at least he had been.. But it was still a child hood game between old friends..
This was different, this was forever.. you were messing with forever, the mother of your future children.. that’s who she was or is, you’re still fuzzy about the details but it’s who you want her to be. Wife, it sounds perfect on her, too.
You had stolen her Dartmouth sweater the night she had worked late, You tried earlier when she was actually wearing it but that only earned you a glare.
‘Give it up Grey..’ you smirked in the way she likes, the way that has her ripping your clothes off..
‘No, perv.. I’m wearing it’ she giggled, slapping your wondering hand away.
‘Well, that I can change’.
You smile despite the tears in your eyes - Regardless of the pain that’s plummeting through your body. The bile rises up your throat faster than you can think as you run into the makeshift washroom and hurl up most of the alcohol you induced.
If it was any other woman, she’d standing at the threshold and shaking her head, remarking that you deserve to be sick after drinking that much.. to the point where light and dark don’t mix well and everything has an eerie glow, but not your Mer, she would’ve been sitting on the cold tiled floor, rubbing your back and making jokes about her tolerance for tequila and your lack of self control.
Tequila.. even the thought of it makes you want to cry, the dirty taste that lingered on her lips most nights, and even on the nights you ignored it’s presence, knowing she did it behind your back hoping you wouldn’t find out - maybe you should’ve paid more attention to the tiny details of her life. The ones besides how she likes her coffee or the way she likes you touching her because as important as that seems in the moment it isn’t as important when she’s ignoring and pushing you away.
You want to drive to her, hell you’ll fly if it got you to her front door faster - the one where you told her the last time you kissed. It’s a time you can’t remember anymore. You need the moments to be more frequent incase another bomb goes off or another ferry crashes because maybe next time she won’t be so lucky.. and you’d have to figure out a way not to drown yourself along with her.
“Don’t say anything,” The voice you dream about, the voice that’s been running through your head is standing over your hunched form. You’re speechless anyway, it should’ve been you doing this, screaming and begging for her to take you back.. but you should know that you never underestimate a Grey. And something in her eyes tells you it’s the old Mer, the one that let you grope her in an elevator without worrying about gossiping interns or bitter residents, the one that enjoyed screaming orgasms over fighting about lack of heating and crazy squirrels.
“You’re stupid and self centered, your total dis-regard for my feelings makes me want to slap you. I don’t like that you hog the sheets at night or the way you smirk.. I don’t like that you met my stepsister or that you have an ex wife. There shouldn’t be other woman, there should just be me. I know that might sound selfish Derek.. but.. too bad, you want me to be open well, this is me being.. open.” She breathes out, kneeling next to you in the bathroom.
“I’m not here to beg, I’m just here to say that.. I’m not letting you tell me how to breathe. I understand the concept, but I like that you helped me along when I didn’t want to do it anymore. And sometimes I still don’t.. and in the future I might not want to do it again.”
“But” she shrugs, sitting down on the cold tiles, “I love you. It’s simple. I don’t need drama to make me love you.. I don’t need death and cheesecake.. What I need is Sunday mornings.. with you cheating on your stupid crossword puzzle. It’s just that simple, I’m done waiting to be rescued.. you’ve already done it twice.” She sighs, looking at your shocked yet impressed smirk.
It’s done, and you know it.. it’s all done, this is it.. “Marry, me?” you smile, helping her up off the ground.. walking back into the makeshift bedroom that now smells vaguely like Meredith instead of loneliness.
“If you get some type of heating system” she smiles until she breaks out in giggles, reminding you why she’s perfect in every sense of the word.. This is the girl your father always talked about. The one that will keep you laughing even on your deathbed, the one that fits you in every way. She’s your beginning, your end.. and everything in-between.
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Thanks for reading. <3