(no subject)
Title: You Could Be Happy (1/?)
Author: charmingnotion
Pairing: Mark/Addison
Rating: PG (I guess?)
Disclaimer: If I owned them things would be different.
Summary: Addison talks with Mark after she comes back to Seattle after her trip to LA.
A/N: My first fic, ever. It's not great, but it needed to be written because there just isn't enough Mark/Addison fic out there, and because I hate what Shonda did to them. I'm hoping to make this into a series...but we'll see how that goes. Like I said, this is my first fic, so hopefully it's not awful. The title is from a song by Snow Patrol (you should download it if you haven't heard it, it's glorious). Comments would be great, but only if they're lies telling me how much you loved this ;D
The sharp click of her stilettos echoing towards the scrub room flooded her ears. She rushed past gossiping nurses and a confused looking Dr. Stevens, but she didn’t hear a word they said. She tucked her hair behind her ears and smoothed her skirt before she pushed open the door to find him standing at the sink. He knew she was standing there, but he deliberately took his time before he acknowledged her.
“Hello Addison,” he said before he even turned to look at her. The exchanged overly polite greetings with fake smiles plastered on their faces.
“Derek tells me you’re moving back to New York”
“I’m surprisingly flattered by the fact that you and Derek talk about me in your spare time”
“So you’re actually going back then?”
“What’s left for me here? A best friend who refuses to speak to me half the time and an ex…well, whatever we were? And this rain is going to end up killing me. It’s time for me to go home.”
Addison had only been back in Seattle for a few days but the rain was almost unbearable; everything in Seattle was becoming unbearable.
“How are Naomi and Sam?” he asked, changing the subject abruptly.
She faltered for a moment, surprised that he knew where she had been “, Good. Divorced and still working together, but good.”
“Divorced and still working together? I thought that was your & Derek’s thing”
“They don’t have the dirty mistress working with them, so clearly it isn’t the same,” she joked.
They both laughed and for a brief moment if felt like maybe it didn’t have to be awkward between them. Maybe they could still be friends, just friends. They both knew that it was a false hope. The deafening silence shattered around them, sending shards of glass into their pretentious laughter. It all became so painfully awkward. She watched him staring past her through the window into the empty OR, avoiding her eyes.
“I…uh, I have some post-op notes to do,” he excused himself lamely. “We should have drinks later or something, you could tell me about your trip,”
Mark had never been one for small talk (and admittedly, neither had she), but she wasn’t going to let him leave. At least not yet. It was painfully uncomfortable, but if she was going to start over in Los Angeles she couldn’t have Mark Sloan pressing on her mind.
“Since when does Mark Sloan willingly do his own post-op notes?” she joked, trying anything to stall him.
“I’ll see you later Ad,” he said walking past her, flashing a half-hearted smile.
She scrambled for something to stop him. Damn it, why was she so anxious? He’s Mark, just Mark, she told herself.
“Why did you lie to me?”
He tensed, “Excuse me?”
“That day in the elevator, you had plans. You were going to make it. I might be a lot of things, but clueless is not one of them. You can be the world’s biggest asshole, but you were sincere about that. I knew you wanted to make things work. You weren’t joking with the 60 days, you didn’t want to mess things up again.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Addison. Making that bet was stupid on both our parts. You know I couldn’t have held out,” he said, casually denying her accusation.
“Derek called me in LA. He told me what you did, Mark”
The silence was deafening. There was no way he could get out of this now. “Remind me to kick Derek’s ass next time I see him.”
“You haven’t answered my question”
“I should have known this communication thing with you and Derek would bite me in the ass.”
She glared at him, folding her arms against her chest.
He hesitated, desperately trying to think up another lie. It’s almost easier for him to blame himself. “I…saw you that day with Karev,” he said quietly.
Her eyes fell and her mouth formed a silent “oh”. Her face was muddled with something greater than guilt, almost shame. Addison didn’t do guilt and sure as hell didn’t do shame, at least not often and definitely not in front of Mark Sloan. She took her time in responding, “I…didn’t mean to hurt you Mark.”
“If you didn’t want to give us a chance all you had to do was say the word. We could’ve called off the bet…”
“I did want to give us a chance,” she interrupted, “I just thought Karev was different. I thought he was what I wanted and…well, he wasn’t and it all blew up in my face.”
She had wanted to give Mark a chance, but she was scared as hell. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she told herself she knew she didn’t want him. She wasn’t sure that she was willing to risk getting hurt again. She wasn’t ready to risk ripping the stitches out of wound that didn’t have time to properly heal.
“Karev is an ass…”
“That seems to be a reoccurring problem with the men in my life,” she said bitterly. She could tell her words hurt him and she felt a tinge of remorse as she looked into his eyes.
“I wanted things to be different with us. I still want things to be different with us. I don’t want other women, but you refuse to let me have you. I came thousands of miles when you called. I left everything for you because I thought I had a chance. I’m living in a city I hate because if I have even the smallest chance with you, I’m going I’m going to be there to take it. I need you to give me a chance to be more than the guy you use to forget your problems. I need all of you or it’s not worth risking again. I’m tired of chasing you, Addison.”
She hesitated, tucking lose strands of hair behind her ears out of habit. She doesn’t know what to say to him. For all the times Mark Sloan is a complete asshole there are the times when he says the most incredibly endearing things to her. These are the times when her sentimental side (the side that watches one too many black & white movies on rainy days) thinks that maybe they’re so wrong for each other that somehow everything could work out right. The times when it’s almost physically painful for her to throw away everything they had together.
Despite all the sentiment she’s gained from her countless viewings of Gone With the Wind, she’s always been realistic. Maybe too realistic for her own good. Her life wasn’t a movie and Mark Sloan was not her romantic leading man. Every time she let herself take the risk, reality inevitably hit her square in the chest, leaving her gasping for breath and wanting nothing more than to run away from every problem she had in Seattle. Every moment she stood there with him that empty office in Los Angeles held more and more promise. Everything with them was just a little too complicated.
But she doesn’t want to hurt him again.
“There’s nothing left for me in Seattle. There’s nothing left for either of us. Maybe there wasn’t anything here for me to begin with, but I had to try. Come with me to New York. Start over with me”
He stepped forward, his face looming dangerously close to hers. She can’t think when he is this close to her. Their breath mingled, playing softly against each other’s skin. His hand brushed lightly against her cheek, urging her body to just take one step closer to him. He lowered his lips so that they just barely touch hers, sending tremors through her body. “Come back with me Addison,” he whispered into her hair.
Author: charmingnotion
Pairing: Mark/Addison
Rating: PG (I guess?)
Disclaimer: If I owned them things would be different.
Summary: Addison talks with Mark after she comes back to Seattle after her trip to LA.
A/N: My first fic, ever. It's not great, but it needed to be written because there just isn't enough Mark/Addison fic out there, and because I hate what Shonda did to them. I'm hoping to make this into a series...but we'll see how that goes. Like I said, this is my first fic, so hopefully it's not awful. The title is from a song by Snow Patrol (you should download it if you haven't heard it, it's glorious). Comments would be great, but only if they're lies telling me how much you loved this ;D
The sharp click of her stilettos echoing towards the scrub room flooded her ears. She rushed past gossiping nurses and a confused looking Dr. Stevens, but she didn’t hear a word they said. She tucked her hair behind her ears and smoothed her skirt before she pushed open the door to find him standing at the sink. He knew she was standing there, but he deliberately took his time before he acknowledged her.
“Hello Addison,” he said before he even turned to look at her. The exchanged overly polite greetings with fake smiles plastered on their faces.
“Derek tells me you’re moving back to New York”
“I’m surprisingly flattered by the fact that you and Derek talk about me in your spare time”
“So you’re actually going back then?”
“What’s left for me here? A best friend who refuses to speak to me half the time and an ex…well, whatever we were? And this rain is going to end up killing me. It’s time for me to go home.”
Addison had only been back in Seattle for a few days but the rain was almost unbearable; everything in Seattle was becoming unbearable.
“How are Naomi and Sam?” he asked, changing the subject abruptly.
She faltered for a moment, surprised that he knew where she had been “, Good. Divorced and still working together, but good.”
“Divorced and still working together? I thought that was your & Derek’s thing”
“They don’t have the dirty mistress working with them, so clearly it isn’t the same,” she joked.
They both laughed and for a brief moment if felt like maybe it didn’t have to be awkward between them. Maybe they could still be friends, just friends. They both knew that it was a false hope. The deafening silence shattered around them, sending shards of glass into their pretentious laughter. It all became so painfully awkward. She watched him staring past her through the window into the empty OR, avoiding her eyes.
“I…uh, I have some post-op notes to do,” he excused himself lamely. “We should have drinks later or something, you could tell me about your trip,”
Mark had never been one for small talk (and admittedly, neither had she), but she wasn’t going to let him leave. At least not yet. It was painfully uncomfortable, but if she was going to start over in Los Angeles she couldn’t have Mark Sloan pressing on her mind.
“Since when does Mark Sloan willingly do his own post-op notes?” she joked, trying anything to stall him.
“I’ll see you later Ad,” he said walking past her, flashing a half-hearted smile.
She scrambled for something to stop him. Damn it, why was she so anxious? He’s Mark, just Mark, she told herself.
“Why did you lie to me?”
He tensed, “Excuse me?”
“That day in the elevator, you had plans. You were going to make it. I might be a lot of things, but clueless is not one of them. You can be the world’s biggest asshole, but you were sincere about that. I knew you wanted to make things work. You weren’t joking with the 60 days, you didn’t want to mess things up again.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Addison. Making that bet was stupid on both our parts. You know I couldn’t have held out,” he said, casually denying her accusation.
“Derek called me in LA. He told me what you did, Mark”
The silence was deafening. There was no way he could get out of this now. “Remind me to kick Derek’s ass next time I see him.”
“You haven’t answered my question”
“I should have known this communication thing with you and Derek would bite me in the ass.”
She glared at him, folding her arms against her chest.
He hesitated, desperately trying to think up another lie. It’s almost easier for him to blame himself. “I…saw you that day with Karev,” he said quietly.
Her eyes fell and her mouth formed a silent “oh”. Her face was muddled with something greater than guilt, almost shame. Addison didn’t do guilt and sure as hell didn’t do shame, at least not often and definitely not in front of Mark Sloan. She took her time in responding, “I…didn’t mean to hurt you Mark.”
“If you didn’t want to give us a chance all you had to do was say the word. We could’ve called off the bet…”
“I did want to give us a chance,” she interrupted, “I just thought Karev was different. I thought he was what I wanted and…well, he wasn’t and it all blew up in my face.”
She had wanted to give Mark a chance, but she was scared as hell. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she told herself she knew she didn’t want him. She wasn’t sure that she was willing to risk getting hurt again. She wasn’t ready to risk ripping the stitches out of wound that didn’t have time to properly heal.
“Karev is an ass…”
“That seems to be a reoccurring problem with the men in my life,” she said bitterly. She could tell her words hurt him and she felt a tinge of remorse as she looked into his eyes.
“I wanted things to be different with us. I still want things to be different with us. I don’t want other women, but you refuse to let me have you. I came thousands of miles when you called. I left everything for you because I thought I had a chance. I’m living in a city I hate because if I have even the smallest chance with you, I’m going I’m going to be there to take it. I need you to give me a chance to be more than the guy you use to forget your problems. I need all of you or it’s not worth risking again. I’m tired of chasing you, Addison.”
She hesitated, tucking lose strands of hair behind her ears out of habit. She doesn’t know what to say to him. For all the times Mark Sloan is a complete asshole there are the times when he says the most incredibly endearing things to her. These are the times when her sentimental side (the side that watches one too many black & white movies on rainy days) thinks that maybe they’re so wrong for each other that somehow everything could work out right. The times when it’s almost physically painful for her to throw away everything they had together.
Despite all the sentiment she’s gained from her countless viewings of Gone With the Wind, she’s always been realistic. Maybe too realistic for her own good. Her life wasn’t a movie and Mark Sloan was not her romantic leading man. Every time she let herself take the risk, reality inevitably hit her square in the chest, leaving her gasping for breath and wanting nothing more than to run away from every problem she had in Seattle. Every moment she stood there with him that empty office in Los Angeles held more and more promise. Everything with them was just a little too complicated.
But she doesn’t want to hurt him again.
“There’s nothing left for me in Seattle. There’s nothing left for either of us. Maybe there wasn’t anything here for me to begin with, but I had to try. Come with me to New York. Start over with me”
He stepped forward, his face looming dangerously close to hers. She can’t think when he is this close to her. Their breath mingled, playing softly against each other’s skin. His hand brushed lightly against her cheek, urging her body to just take one step closer to him. He lowered his lips so that they just barely touch hers, sending tremors through her body. “Come back with me Addison,” he whispered into her hair.