Memories of the Snow - Secret Santa fic for osdarkmoonoz
Title: Memories of the Snow
Author: myshades_ofgrey
Pairing: Meredith/Derek with some Meredith/Cristina
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,268
Summary: Meredith has to work with Derek and Addison on a day that provokes many memories of winters past.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Meredith stared out of the hospital window, resting all her body weight on the sill, her cheek leaning against the cool of the glass. She watched as each snowflake danced through the air eventually finding its place on the ground where it proceeded to melt. She thought about the cool breeze that would be blowing outside, the tingle of a single melting flake on skin and the memories the scenery forced to the forefront of her mind.
The last time it had snowed she’d been happy - she’d been with Him. Derek had decided that taking a long walk through the woods surrounding his trailer would be romantic and idyllic. He hadn’t accounted for the expected snowstorms that were due to hit Seattle that afternoon, meaning that halfway through their stroll they’d encountered a downfall of soft, white flakes of snow. He’d laughed as she’d spun around among the trees, her arms outstretched, trying to catch as many of the white droplets as she could. When she’d reached the heights of dizzy delirium he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her before taking her back to the trailer. Later that evening they’d sat in blankets, sipping steaming mugs of hot chocolate. As she’d lowered the mug from her lips, it had left a small stain of dark brown liquid on her nose. Derek had reached forward, softly wiped it away before leaning to her ear and promising that the snow would always be theirs, that it would always be their special memory.
Looking at her fingers as they gently tapped on the plastic she had her body weight on, she whispered to herself, “The snow will always be ours - it’ll be our memory. If you never remember anything else about us, remember the snow.”
Deeply entrenched in her thoughts, she failed to notice the arrival of the protagonist of her daydreams. Moving forward, Derek tentatively outstretched his hand and cautiously, yet firmly touched her shoulder, “Meredith?”
She turned quickly and stood to attention, as if she were waiting for a sergeant’s approval of her posture, “Sorry Dr Shepherd, you took me by surprise, I didn’t expect anyone to come in here.”
“Well, if you will stand in my comatose patient’s room you should expect a visit from someone in neuro at some point,” he smiled looking past the doctor that occupied the space in front of him, out of the window behind her, “I see the Seattle snow has already started - they say that winter’s meant to be a wild one this year.”
She moved her head to block his line of sight, forcing him to look at her, “So I’ve heard.”
She subconsciously willed him to mention something about their last winter together and their time in the snowy Seattle woodland. She wanted him to show her that he hadn’t forgotten about her, that it had been as real for him as it had been for her, that she hadn’t kidded herself that he could love someone like her.
As she tucked a stray strand of her long dark blonde hair behind her left ear, he spoke, “Better wrap up warm if you’re thinking of heading out this weekend,” walking towards the door, he paused and turned to face her, “I’ll see you in Room 212 in five minutes for a consult.”
“I’ll be right there,” she called after him.
Taking one last glance out of the window, she inhaled deeply before heading towards her waiting consult.
Reaching the room, she quietly pushed the door open after checking that Derek was already there by enquiring at the nurses’ station. Pressing the door closed behind her, she looked up and her heart fell. Addison was there. It was an OB/GYN and neuro patient, which meant her day would be filled with the object of her affections and the obstacle blocking the acquisition of her target’s love.
“You’re late Dr Grey,” Addison remarked in monotone, not bothering to look up from the chart she was reading, “I have a good mind to kick you off this case.”
Derek interjected, smiling welcomingly at her, “Lucky she’s on my service then.”
Meredith gazed up through her hair, which had fallen over her face when she’d dropped her head at Addison’s authoritative comment. She wasn’t surprised at Dr Montgomery-Shepherd’s treatment of her; as far as she was concerned Meredith was the home-wrecker, the bitch that had been screwing her husband. If the roles had been reversed, she was pretty sure she’d have had a more acidic tongue than Addison had shown thus far.
Moving towards the patient’s bed, she acknowledged the occupant before turning to Derek, “What’s the story?”
“Female, 35 years old, 28 weeks pregnant, came into the ER today presenting with symptoms that later showed a tumour in the left-side of the brain,” he flicked through the charts, staring at Addison throughout his spiel, almost as if Meredith was absent from both his side and the room itself.
Gaining his attention once again, she stared directly into his blue eyes that always managed to swallow her whole, “Do you want me to book an OR?”
“Addison’s already sorted it for this afternoon, go and grab some lunch before meeting us in OR 3 at 2pm,” he replied. She knew it was merely a suggestion, but the cold, distant way he’d said it made it seem like an order, something she had to do.
Walking to the basement, her mind pondered Derek and Addison’s current relationship and the sick feeling it brought to her stomach, which had led her to avoiding them at all costs - she hadn’t even worked with them since the beginning of the month. They stole flirtatious glances in the OR, attempted to sneak out of the on-call room unseen and were always stood laughing with each other at every moment, they had the perfect relationship. As he’d told her in the past, when his marriage had first come to light, they were the couple everyone wanted to emulate. His words when he’d refused to sign the divorce papers, “We’re Derek and Addison,” still hung in her mind. She tried her best to avoid them both, wishing to focus her attentions on General Surgery, rather than her previous interest in neuro.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Cristina’s voice, “You look like something a bear vomited, ate, and then vomited again.”
Pushing Cristina along the gurney, she replied, “You would too if you had to work with the Family Shepherd.”
“You’re stuck with McMarried and his devil spawn wife?” she asked, whilst devouring a sandwich.
“Unfortunately, yes…” Meredith’s head fell, as she picked at her salad, “It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t constantly flaunting their relationship in my face.”
“Stab her,” Cristina simply answered, before seeing Meredith’s taken-aback face and adding, “I mean you’re in an OR, how hard would it be to ask for a scalpel and then misjudge and stab her hand? He wouldn’t want to be married to an ex-surgeon who couldn’t operate because his ex-mistress cut her up.”
Meredith raised an eyebrow, “Ever considered writing for soap operas?”
“You know so many people have told me that dramatic writing is my true calling, but I think I’ll stick to cutting up hearts - not that I’m actually doing anything like that at the moment…” she trailed off.
“Why, what’s up?” Meredith enquired, curious as to the reason for Cristina’s lack of cardio action - if sleeping with your attending didn’t get you any surgery, nothing would.
Sighing, Cristina replied, “Supposedly, I’m no longer allowed to devote myself to only one specialty, so Bailey has awarded me a week in ortho with that chick George is seeing. Seriously, the most interesting thing I’ve done all day is bandage someone’s leg. You have to save me.”
Chewing for a while, Meredith finally stopped, “Cut her,” both of them erupted into laughter, with Cristina even choking on her last bite of sandwich, before Meredith added, “I’m serious.”
“I’ll bet you are,” Cristina grinned, before she was interrupted by Meredith’s pager.
“It’s 2pm already, time flies sometimes,” Meredith jumped up, “I’ve got to go spend two hours of hell with Dr and Mrs Shepherd. Enjoy ortho!”
Meredith raced toward OR 3, as she pushed open the scrub room door she was received by a disapproving expression etched across Addison’s face, “Tardiness holds no advantages in life Dr Grey. This is the second time I’ve had to discipline you concerning it, next time you won’t be allowed within fifty feet of an OR.”
Meredith was fuming as she began to roughly wash her hands, taking her anger out on the tightly clenched fists that were submerged in the cold stream of water running from the tap.
As Addison continued to roll off criticisms of her performance, something in Meredith snapped, “What the hell is your problem with me Addison?! I mean, seriously, you seem to have some major issue with me.”
“Excuse me?” Addison was taken aback by her colleague’s sudden outburst.
She simply continued, in a raised voice, “I last slept with Derek a year ago, don’t tell me that is still the reason for your hatred of me. At least I attempt to be civil when I’m working with you!”
“Dr Grey I do not appreciate your tone or your implications, none of which are true. I’m harsh on you because you have the potential to be a great surgeon, but you seem to think it’s perfectly fine to float by without dedicating enough,” inhaling deeply and sharply, Addison pointed to the door and shouted, “Now get out of my OR!”
Meredith sat by the nurses’ station with her arms crossed tightly, tapping her foot. Her eyes never left the safety of the clock, counting the minutes of the surgery and going over what would be happening when during the operation. Derek had asked her to wait there for him to speak to her after he’d finished in the OR. She knew it would be about what had happened in the scrub room with Addison, and that he’d take her side regardless of circumstance and the like. She was in the right frame of mind to bite into his pride by telling him her true thoughts of him at this moment in time.
She watched the doors slam next to her as Addison and Derek walked through the doors and noted their behaviour. Addison stormed off ahead of her husband, while he simply strolled behind.
Derek stopped in front of Meredith and looked down at her, “Is everything alright?”
She stared at her foot, her glance unmoving, contemplating her next move, “No, everything’s not alright.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he now moved to the vacant seat next to her.
“Not really,” her eyes were beginning to fill with tears and her throat contained a lump that made it hard for her to verbalise what she wanted to say.
Trying to coax her head round, he asked, “You sure?”
Standing up, she focused on his eyes and managed to croak out, “It’s the snow Derek, just the snow.”
Walking away, she left him sat there thinking over the words she’d left ringing in his ears. She made her way to the on-call room, lying down on a vacant bed; she slowed herself and began to drift off to a world where everything was right and how it should be.
Several hours later, her shift was at its end. Making her way out of the hospital, she stopped when she heard a voice call her name, “Meredith, wait!”
Spinning on her heel, she came face to face with Derek, the snow causing her hair to develop white highlights as it blew in the breeze, “What do you want?”
He strode towards her and paused before cupping her face in his warm, strong hands, “You.”
“Wh-what about Addison? Your wife?” she asked in disbelief, confused about what was happening.
“My ex-wife,” he corrected her, “she ended it last week.”
Hearing Derek’s revelation, Meredith noted that the two doctors had been spending less time together when she’d seen them recently, “Why are you telling me now?”
“The snow - it’s snowing, it’s our time,” he grinned, looking heavenward at the clusters of white filling the sky.
“I thought you’d forgotten,” she whispered.
Allowing one of his hands to leave her face, he took her hand, “I could never forget.”
He leaned towards her and kissed her, moving his hands around her waist to pull her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck playing with his hair as they continued to kiss. All the anger, all the love, all the frustration, all the wanting, all the waiting, all the emotion of the past year was put into the display of affection.
She grinned against his lips as she withdrew from the embrace and leaned to his ear, remarking in a hushed voice, “You know how much I hate those Christmas rom-coms, don’t you?”
“If I suddenly pulled out a gun and shot someone would you be happier?” he joked, smiling warmly at her.
He wrapped his arm round her waist as they began walking towards his car. She replied, “That sounds like an excellent film plot - we just need drugs and sex to spice it up.”
Getting into the car, he answered her with a wink, “I can assure you that one of those will certainly be on the cards tonight.”
“Oh good, I do love cocaine on an evening,” she laughed, before he drove off towards not only her house, but their future life together.