In need of a friend

[g_woman711]

So I've been in my head a lot lately. This broken foot fiasco has not only cost me money because of medical bills, but it's also caused me loss of income because I can only work at one of my jobs. After I pay my rent and the couple of bills I have for the end of this month, I will have a little over $300. I really don't know what I'm gonna do. I guess I can start using my credit cards, which I never use because I hate the interest bullshit that comes along with using them. This whole summer is practically ruined because of my fucking foot. At this rate, I'll have no money to travel to my home state and see any of my friends or family this summer. I'll have no money to travel and see Katie. For for the first time in years, I had time for two jobs and I was making enough money to actually save something each month rather than spend it on bills as soon as I cashed my paycheck. Two months after that started, this happened. It's like god fucking hates me. I work hard, and just a sliver of something is going right in my life for once, and I get punished again. I tried to call my mom because I was really struggling and was one the verge of breaking down, but she just made me feel worse. It's like she has no sympathy for my situation. I just wanted some understanding and compassion and an offer for help. Instead, she made me feel like all of this was somehow my fault, and I was somehow supposed to find a way to work when I can't walk or even stand like a normal person...like I'm somehow supposed to hop around on one leg for an 8 hour shift. I mean, shit, offer to help me out, loan me some money, or give me a suggestion for a way to earn money until I can work my second job again. I hung up on her because she was making me so angry that I wanted to punch my hand through a wall. She didn't bother trying to call back because clearly she has nothing kind to say and wasn't even a tiny bit concerned. It's so wonderful to feel loved.

And now the one person I love and who loves me is leaving me and moving away because they graduated, and I'm gonna be all alone. I was already struggling with this, and then I have another curve ball thrown at me in the form of not being able to pay my bills. I hate where I'm at in life. I hate it. I wish I had a way to escape it all. I just wish something would go my way for once. Sometimes I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Not sure I can keep faking that I'm okay, when I'm really not.