I assume the difference is that one of them has a wheelchair? ;)
Might I ask if your friend is a native Texan or native to the South in general? Some people here still think this is the mid-1800s and theah's a wahh goin' ohn to take away ahh 'help.' Or, more ridiculously, whites are afraid of non-whites. At least that's my perception of it, and that's NOT to say that I agree with that sentiment. Living in the south all my life, the vast majority in Texas, I'm not surprised but always offended when I hear racial comments. They're rampant here.
However, I've been reading (mostly re-reading) a lot of "classic" Stephen King books lately. He's from Maine (way north!) and sure does throw in a lot of racial slurs that cause me to flinch. Maybe he does it to add to the uncomfortableness of the story; it's always in context of something, but still. Seeing those words still make me squirm a bit. Bravo to King, I guess, for making the books that much more unnerving?
"...if you have to look around you before saying them, they probably shouldn't be spoken in a public place for example."
Brilliantly said.
"Here, your liberal friend might have a racist grandmother that is nonetheless loved and appreciated."
Wholeheartedly agree. Ask anyone native to the area and they'll tell you horror stories of things that popped out of their grandparents' mouths - and sometimes parents' if they are old enough. Fortunately, it seems to me as if this is finally dying away a bit, based on conversations with older folks and younger ones who don't share their familial line of racism. Or maybe I'm just looking through my rose-colored glasses again. Keith keeps having to remind me that my tiny microcosm of friends and "chosen family" isn't representative of the world at large.
And while I'm writing you a novella here, over the years and after much careful thought, there have been a few times when I have had to let a few friends gracefully slip away or tucked them into a catagory of "I'll only see them when..." because I cold not tolerate their offensive mouths or behaviors. I always explained why and that I wasn't trying to change who they were (I find it morally wrong to do that), but I just couldn't be around them if/when they did X, Y, or Z.
Unrelated, I am emailing you off-LJ about getting together. No, really!
Might I ask if your friend is a native Texan or native to the South in general? Some people here still think this is the mid-1800s and theah's a wahh goin' ohn to take away ahh 'help.' Or, more ridiculously, whites are afraid of non-whites. At least that's my perception of it, and that's NOT to say that I agree with that sentiment. Living in the south all my life, the vast majority in Texas, I'm not surprised but always offended when I hear racial comments. They're rampant here.
However, I've been reading (mostly re-reading) a lot of "classic" Stephen King books lately. He's from Maine (way north!) and sure does throw in a lot of racial slurs that cause me to flinch. Maybe he does it to add to the uncomfortableness of the story; it's always in context of something, but still. Seeing those words still make me squirm a bit. Bravo to King, I guess, for making the books that much more unnerving?
"...if you have to look around you before saying them, they probably shouldn't be spoken in a public place for example."
Brilliantly said.
"Here, your liberal friend might have a racist grandmother that is nonetheless loved and appreciated."
Wholeheartedly agree. Ask anyone native to the area and they'll tell you horror stories of things that popped out of their grandparents' mouths - and sometimes parents' if they are old enough. Fortunately, it seems to me as if this is finally dying away a bit, based on conversations with older folks and younger ones who don't share their familial line of racism. Or maybe I'm just looking through my rose-colored glasses again. Keith keeps having to remind me that my tiny microcosm of friends and "chosen family" isn't representative of the world at large.
And while I'm writing you a novella here, over the years and after much careful thought, there have been a few times when I have had to let a few friends gracefully slip away or tucked them into a catagory of "I'll only see them when..." because I cold not tolerate their offensive mouths or behaviors. I always explained why and that I wasn't trying to change who they were (I find it morally wrong to do that), but I just couldn't be around them if/when they did X, Y, or Z.
Unrelated, I am emailing you off-LJ about getting together. No, really!
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