Never mix weed and Nyquil
I'm sick. Not like "eww don't eat that off the floor" sick. Oh no. I'm talkin' about a fucking Ebola virus of a cold I've got. It could be that bird flu that everyone's talking about. But I thought that you couldn't get that unless you made sweet sweet love to a chicken. I haven't done that for like a week. She dumped me. To be fair I did cheat on her with a turkey. What can I say, I have a weakness for flightless birds.
Anyway last night I took 2 shots of Nyquil and 2 bong hits and I think I OD'd or something because I had the wildest dream. It started out like an average Guillermo dream, I was walking to the store to buy something because the car wasn't starting. As I walked I noticed the cars were going in slow motion. Not just slow but in slow motion with the blur and everything. I thought it was weird but kept on walking. Then I look up and notice that the sky is yellow and suddenly it starts raining but it rains pee. I didn't notice at first but then the smell of old pee hit me and I decided to run for shelter. Just as I go for cover in a bus stop shelter thing it stops raining and by now I'm totally soaked with the pee rain and decide I have to go home and change before I do anything else. But when I turn around I don't know where I am. I start to panic but this car pulls up next to me and, like, Dave Chappelle is in it. He calls me over and asks me if I can loan him $10 and I say "man, don't you have like 50 million dollars?" He says "it WAS 52 million but I spent it." "On what", I ask. "Weed" he says. "What are you going to spend my $10 bucks on" I ask. Again he says, "weed." So I ask him for a ride home in exchange for the $10 and he agrees.
I get in and he starts driving really really fast. I start getting scared but then realize that there isn't any road. Infact we're falling straight down. Dave is still acting like he's driving even tho we're falling really fast. So I freak out and try to get out of the car but Dave is screaming for his $10. So I open the door and now I'm falling all by myself and the ground is getting closer. Suddenly right below me I see something green with wings waiting right under me. When I land on it it feels slippery and wet and I realize this is a fish only it flies and has wings. So I try to hold on as tightly as possible while the fish flies around and I see some figures in the distance. The flying fish veers to the right (or left I can't really remember) and eats something. Suddenly the fish starts shaking and we start moving faster and faster. The figures in the distance were some rednecks fishing and they apparently caught the fish I was flying on.
Not wanting to be lunch for some fisherman I jumped off the fish and hit the ground rolling. How we got from 40,000 feet to ground level I don't know. So I stand up and dust myself off and realize I'm at the CVS, only I'm drenched in sweat and pee rain and I smell like hell. So I go to the aisle where the Nyquil is and realize that Dave Chappelle stole my $10. So I figure I'll just shoplift the Nyquil and as I'm walking out the cashier lady tackles me and tells me I'm going to jail. I keep telling them that I'll gladly pay for it or give it back but the lady is sitting on me and I can't get much of a breath to say anything. Then the store manager comes out and says that he called my parents. Suddenly my mom shows up but she's dressed like a ninja. She yells at me but then starts beating up the manager guy. The lady that was sitting on me stands up to try to stop my mom but I trip the lady and make a run for it. Suddenly I'm sitting in my bathtub and Tiffany is sitting on the outside of the tub humming and reading the newspaper. I turn my head to her and start telling her about my day. She smiles at me and then I wake up.
I don't know. I only have these weird dreams occasionally. Though thankfully there were no midget strippers with machettes in this one. Weird dude. Anyway I had gone to sleep at 5 pm the day before and it was now 7:45 in the morning. I slept almost 15 hours. And my cold isn't nearly as bad as it was the day before. I can almost taste food now.
Anyway last night I took 2 shots of Nyquil and 2 bong hits and I think I OD'd or something because I had the wildest dream. It started out like an average Guillermo dream, I was walking to the store to buy something because the car wasn't starting. As I walked I noticed the cars were going in slow motion. Not just slow but in slow motion with the blur and everything. I thought it was weird but kept on walking. Then I look up and notice that the sky is yellow and suddenly it starts raining but it rains pee. I didn't notice at first but then the smell of old pee hit me and I decided to run for shelter. Just as I go for cover in a bus stop shelter thing it stops raining and by now I'm totally soaked with the pee rain and decide I have to go home and change before I do anything else. But when I turn around I don't know where I am. I start to panic but this car pulls up next to me and, like, Dave Chappelle is in it. He calls me over and asks me if I can loan him $10 and I say "man, don't you have like 50 million dollars?" He says "it WAS 52 million but I spent it." "On what", I ask. "Weed" he says. "What are you going to spend my $10 bucks on" I ask. Again he says, "weed." So I ask him for a ride home in exchange for the $10 and he agrees.
I get in and he starts driving really really fast. I start getting scared but then realize that there isn't any road. Infact we're falling straight down. Dave is still acting like he's driving even tho we're falling really fast. So I freak out and try to get out of the car but Dave is screaming for his $10. So I open the door and now I'm falling all by myself and the ground is getting closer. Suddenly right below me I see something green with wings waiting right under me. When I land on it it feels slippery and wet and I realize this is a fish only it flies and has wings. So I try to hold on as tightly as possible while the fish flies around and I see some figures in the distance. The flying fish veers to the right (or left I can't really remember) and eats something. Suddenly the fish starts shaking and we start moving faster and faster. The figures in the distance were some rednecks fishing and they apparently caught the fish I was flying on.
Not wanting to be lunch for some fisherman I jumped off the fish and hit the ground rolling. How we got from 40,000 feet to ground level I don't know. So I stand up and dust myself off and realize I'm at the CVS, only I'm drenched in sweat and pee rain and I smell like hell. So I go to the aisle where the Nyquil is and realize that Dave Chappelle stole my $10. So I figure I'll just shoplift the Nyquil and as I'm walking out the cashier lady tackles me and tells me I'm going to jail. I keep telling them that I'll gladly pay for it or give it back but the lady is sitting on me and I can't get much of a breath to say anything. Then the store manager comes out and says that he called my parents. Suddenly my mom shows up but she's dressed like a ninja. She yells at me but then starts beating up the manager guy. The lady that was sitting on me stands up to try to stop my mom but I trip the lady and make a run for it. Suddenly I'm sitting in my bathtub and Tiffany is sitting on the outside of the tub humming and reading the newspaper. I turn my head to her and start telling her about my day. She smiles at me and then I wake up.
I don't know. I only have these weird dreams occasionally. Though thankfully there were no midget strippers with machettes in this one. Weird dude. Anyway I had gone to sleep at 5 pm the day before and it was now 7:45 in the morning. I slept almost 15 hours. And my cold isn't nearly as bad as it was the day before. I can almost taste food now.