The Cooper Libido Experiment 10/?
Title: "The Cooper Libido Experiment"
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy
Rating: PG
Chapters: 10/(?)
Timeline: Post L/P...beyond Post L/P...
Summary: There are times when the thing you love the most will cause your downfall. In the case of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, that would be Science...
Disclaimer:I do not own the characters or the series and am not making any money out of this despite putting my sweat and blood into it. So save me the lawsuits and just allow a beggar to indulge in fantasies. Thank you.
A/N: Check the rating so don’t expect to be gnawing on your sheets LOL. Again, this chapter HAS to be written, so don’t kill me until I’ve finished this fic ^_^ Again, thanks to life_coveter and gemsile123 for their beta :D
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Ten months ago…
"Going once...going twice..."
He grimaced and held up his hand, and the host excitedly acknowledged his wager.
A hand other than his own rose, and he grimaced. The price kept climbing, but he had to get this. He had to win, even if it would cost him quite possibly several months’ worth of new comic books and action figures. These were but one of the two annual occasions he would be able to acquire the item. He couldn't wait another 365 days, when time constraints allotted him only four more months.
Again, he raised his hand and was acknowledged, the host clamoring for any possible takers. Now, he had never been a religious man, despite his growing up with a devout mother; but he did something that day that was akin to a prayer, even though he knew, from previous calculations and tactics applied, he would win.
"Going once...going twice..."
He shut his eyes, his hands curling on his lap.
"Sold, to the gentlemen in the Spock costume!"
Sheldon breathed a heavy sigh and managed to compose himself as he walked up to the podium, ignoring the stares and glares of the women around him--them, in their chic, expensive, at times garish human clothes and lugging along their bug-eyed, pouting offspring with pigtails, and he, the Vulcan in blue. He ignored them the way he dismissed the fact that this item which had cost him much would be of no real use to him, and more likely than not, would be taken out of the box, diminishing whatever collector's value it had. Yet he handed over a check with barely any hesitation, and made thorough arrangements for the shipment of the purchase.
Four months later, he would take it out of its hiding place and carry it across the hall.
Four months later would be a whole new beginning...
***
Leonard traversed through the lunchtime traffic in the university cafeteria until he found his way to his and his friends’ usual table. Raj and Howard were in a heated discussion while Sheldon sat with his head down, the sandwich on his plate untouched.
It wasn’t until Leonard got closer that he realized Sheldon was actually sleeping.
“I wouldn’t wake him if I were you, dude,” Raj warned in a half-whisper. “He’s been a complete ass all morning.”
“That fever must’ve short-circuited his processor.” Howard smirked at Leonard while tracing several circles by his head with a finger. “I take it from the bungee cord welts Sheldon had earlier that you didn’t drive him to work?”
“He woke up before I did,” Leonard muttered and set his tray down, his eyes on Sheldon’s swaying form. “I need to talk to him.”
“Don’t!”
“Sheldon!”
“Danger! Danger!”
Raj and Howard groaned at the same time. Leonard waited for Sheldon to orient himself, but he was quick to look away once he saw Leonard, the surprise on his face rapidly turning into a look of utmost contempt.
Leonard took a seat. “Sheldon, are you all right?”
He waited for a response, but all he got was a small snort and one very cold shoulder.
Howard provided the explanation. “Sheldon has chosen to treat you as though you were one of the dead, as in the phrase ‘you are dead to me’.” He grinned. “Ring any bells?”
“Oh, come on,” Leonard whined. “That’s just stupid and immature.”
Sheldon snapped his head up to Raj and Howard. “Did anyone else detect a change in the temperature and wind direction?”
“Cold breeze,” Howard supplied again. “A widely-accepted indicator of ectoplasmic activity popular among-“
“Howard, I know.” Leonard cut in, then faced Sheldon again. “But the ‘you’re dead to me’ scenario only works if a friend steals a friend’s girl. Did I do that, Sheldon?”
“No!”
Leonard almost failed at hiding a smirk when Sheldon reacted, and he could almost hear his roommate’s inaudible curse. “Then, why are you so mad at me?”
“Well, you…” Sheldon’s face twisted a bit. “You left me alone when I was sick.”
“You weren’t alone.” Leonard reminded. “You called Penny at work and got her to come home and take care of you.”
“I did no such thing,” Sheldon refuted with a deep blush. “I was merely ordering soup when she came on the phone. She was the one who insisted she come home and tend to me; not the other way around.”
Leonard’s brows met. He could feel the circus in his stomach starting to attract crowds. “So…she willingly came home to take care of you?”
Sheldon returned the frown. “She told you I forced her to take care of me?”
“Um…dudes. You, uh…wanna catch us up here?”
Leonard ignored Raj. “Did you see the note she left?”
“Well, it was taped conspicuously to the door,” Sheldon huffed, then after a moment’s pause, picked up his bread knife and began slicing his sandwich.
Leonard poked at his potato salad. “How long do you think she’ll stay in Nebraska?”
Sheldon didn’t answer, but this did start a stream of inquiries from Raj and Howard.
Before Leonard could reply, he caught a glimpse of a familiar blonde girl closing in on their table. She was wearing the orange blouse, skin-tight black jeans and brown velvet boots he’d seen her wear before, and he quickly turned his body to face her fully. “Penny, what on earth are you doing-“
The words fell back into the abyss of Leonard’s throat.
It wasn’t Penny. The smile on the girl’s face was nothing like his ex-girlfriend’s soft, adorable flash of teeth.
This girl’s grin was reminiscent to Harley Quinn’s. Or Poison Ivy’s.
“Hello, Dr. Cooper. Having a good lunch?”
Sheldon rolled his eyes and turned to face the girl, only to have his annoyance fade to what Leonard knew was shock. “R…Ramona?”
“Like my new look?” Ramona flipped her straight blond hair from side to side, the light catching each chemically-enhanced golden strand to perfection. “I just got tired of lil’ ol’ me. What do you think of the new me?”
By God, she was even talking like Penny, and Leonard felt himself shudder. He chanced a look at Raj and Howard, and found they had, like last time, turned into stone.
“It’s…” Sheldon’s eyes had taken on a glazed, far away look. “It’s sufficient.”
“Sufficient?” Ramona pouted. Leonard detected a hint of gloss on her lips. “Oh, come on, Dr. Cooper. You can do better than that.”
“I suppose it’s more than sufficient,” Sheldon replied in a steady voice, though Leonard noticed Sheldon’s eyes had not left Ramona. “Do you wish to tell me something?”
Ramona giggled and put a hand on Sheldon’s shoulder. Leonard didn’t see him flinch. “I was hoping you would be free tomorrow night. I know this great little Italian place. I asked and they said we can even ask for four-tined forks instead of three. They-“
“Yes.”
Leonard snapped his head at Sheldon. From the corner of his eye, he could see Raj and Howard’s jaws hanging open, but he knew, from the look on her face, that no one was more surprised than Ramona.
“Yes?” she repeated shakily, her eyes wide and almost crazed. “As in yes, you’re agreeing to go on a date-I mean, to dine alone with me so we can discuss matters of scientific importance and perhaps also share more about our personal lives over wine, pasta and music?”
“Yes, Ramona. I am accepting your invitation,” Sheldon nodded, his eyes still glued to the grad student, who seemed to be having a difficult time muffling her squeals. “What time should we leave?”
“Seven o’ clock sharp. I know you don’t drive, but don’t worry, I do. And…I’ve already made reservations.” She beamed. Leonard shivered when he saw her fingers literally make a catwalk from Sheldon’s shoulder before landing on his neck. It took only a moment for Leonard to remember what Ramona had traced last time. “So….I’ll pick you up then, ‘kay?”
“Certainly. Thank you, Ramona.”
“No, Dr. Cooper. Thank you.” With a wink, Ramona flipped her new hair to one side and walked…no, skipped away and out of the cafeteria.
Howard spoke first. “What the frak was that, Sheldon?”
“What was what?” Sheldon questioned without looking, though Leonard noticed something strange in Sheldon’s tone. He didn’t sound…clueless.
“Dude, you just totally agreed to go on a date with Ramona!” Raj declared, waving his arms in the air before narrowing his eyes. “Are you still running a fever? Because I think you’re totally delirious.”
“My temperature has been at a normal 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit since 19:28 yesterday, and despite my obvious display of lethargy, I am actually almost at optimum efficiency. So no, I am not delirious.”
Leonard made a mental note of how hard Sheldon was slicing his sandwich.
“If you’re not delirious, then you’ve gone completely insane.” Howard again made circles by his temple with his forefinger. “Any other girl, I might’ve thought you’d just suffered a temporary loss of sanity, but this is Ramona Psycho Nowitzki we’re talking about!”
Sheldon snorted, but still didn’t look up from his sandwich. “And this, coming from the men who said I was insane for ignoring Ramona’s previous sexual advances.”
“Sexual advances?” Leonard finally spoke. “So you…you know what she’s up to?”
“She certainly made use of her old tactic of writing the letters S-E-X on my neck.” Sheldon ate his sandwich like a shark chewing on a bag of meat, and Leonard suddenly felt sick.
“Sheldon…are you saying you’re…you’re going to have sex with Ramona?”
It was as if all the chatter in the cafeteria died out as the three scientists waited for an answer.
After one languorous swallow, Sheldon shrugged. “I just…feel like being pathetic today.”
Leonard felt as though the circus acrobats in his stomach had encountered a very fatal flaw in their routine. He wanted to ask Sheldon if it was because Ramona had essentially turned herself into a Penny clone. Or if this had something to do with hugging Penny in the hallway. But he couldn’t ask any of those, and the reasons went beyond the fact Raj and Howard had made a 180 degree turn from their previous disposition, and were piling Sheldon with questions, mostly involving if he even knew how to perform, and would he like some advice?
Leonard sat back and ate in silence, struggling to find the right course of action to take.
He was still in the same train of indecision by the time he got off of work, his car tailing Ramona’s as she gave Sheldon Cooper a ride home.
A/N: Don’t kill me 0_0 If you do, you won’t get to see the succeeding R-Rated chapter! But if it involves Penny and Sheldon remains to be seen…it could involve Ramona…
Yeowch! Who threw that shoe at me?!
Ehem. Again, I’d like to give thanks to gemsile123 and
life_coveter for their betas ^_^ And also, to you dear readers, for your continued patronage of this fic! This is the longest I’ve written (and man I never expected it to be THIS long) and I believe this one has the most followers as well. Thank you for your kind comments! They are my cookies to finishing each and every single chapter so yes, I’m saying don’t be shy, LOL! I hope you at least marginally enjoyed this chapter (I highly doubt it though), and I hope the scenes here have been ingrained well enough in your memories (besides the ‘kill Ramona’ chant which I seemed to be hearing with greater frequency now).
Hmm…I kinda feel like being evil. I kinda feel like…holding chapter 11 hostage and the ransom would be comments for this chapter.
Yeowch! Who threw that steel-toed boot?!
Teasers? I think I already gave you some :P *ducks away from flying shoes* Later guys! Mwah!
PROCEED TO CHAPTER 11
ART PREVIEW *Updated*
