The Cooper Libido Experiment 5/?
Title: "The Cooper Libido Experiment"
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy
Rating: PG
Chapters: 5/(?)
Timeline: Post L/P...beyond Post L/P...
Summary: There are times when the thing you love the most will cause your downfall. In the case of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, that would be Science...
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series and am not making any money out of this despite putting my sweat and blood into it. So save me the lawsuits and just allow a beggar to indulge in fantasies. Thank you.
A/N: Hi guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! I really did enjoy it, and as promised, I plowed through this chapter so I could get to the next one. I know things are a lil slow to burn if you know what I mean, but just think of it as testing your patience LOL! Think like the serum, we have to make sure every inch of Dr. Sheldon Cooper succumbs to our will...
Oh, and a little side news, as most of you probably know, I've taken over ownership of the Official Sheldon/Penny Fanlisting (check my post here) but I got a little site hiccup when my original submission form wouldn't accept any more entries...because in only two days, it went past 100 submissions! Yes, I was so shocked with the growth. And to think we only had 16 members when we started. I fixed the forms now, so to those who haven't signed up yet, please do ^_^ Gotta show the whole world out numbers! Now, on to Chapter 5!
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4
Chapter 5
"You should at least try to take a little nap, Leonard. I mean, it's 'Anything-Can-Happen' Thursday. You might miss something."
"Thanks Raj, but I'll be fine." Leonard opened a bottle of Red Bull and took a gulp. He and his friends were having lunch in the university cafeteria, and though he felt like his brain was floating in space, he knew from past experience he would manage. "Now that my experiments are done, I have to stay up the whole day to get my regular sleep patterns back."
"Frankly, Leonard, I'm still unsure as to why you continue with such pointless experimentations to theories that have already been proven. Or are you just waiting for some fortunate moment in which you will somehow but unlikely discover a flaw, which could perhaps land your name in the footnote of scientific history?"
Leonard barely even gave Sheldon a glance. He was too tired to argue, and his brain was starting to fly away again.
He managed to catch it, and turned towards Howard. "So, I take it you lost at Halo last night?"
Howard scowled. "It was Raj's fault. He didn't warn me--"
"Dude, how the hell was I supposed to warn you?" Raj cut in.
"You could've at least said something."
"I did. I waved my arms, didn't I?"
"Do you really think flapping your arms like a duck on ice is a warning?"
"She missed on purpose to keep me alive as bait! And how could I have said anything when Pe...eep!"
Leonard looked up from his salad and saw Raj had lowered his head into his collar like a turtle. A sure sign of female company. And when Leonard turned, he saw, to his surprise, Ramona Nowitzki closing in on Sheldon with a tall glass of pineapple juice.
"I noticed your glass was almost empty, Dr. Cooper, so I brought you a fresh one," Ramona explained in a breath before any of them could speak. "I made sure it's cool enough to quench your thirst, but not cold enough to prove damaging to your vocal chords. We can't afford for the greatest mind in the world to lose the power of speech."
"Why, thank you Ramona. That's very thoughtful, although why you bother, I can never tell. You've already given me an apology gift of cobblers and chocolates."
"This is just everyday appreciation, Dr. Cooper. And don't mind me. Just drink it."
Leonard watched as Sheldon drank the entire glass. Sure, it was a hot day, but that Sheldon was drinking something from Ramona Psycho Nowitzki without much protest or thought was disturbing, although other than that, Leonard wasn't sure exactly how he should feel about it.
Sheldon set the empty glass down, and Leonard could've sword Ramona was...horrifyingly happy about it. Her smile reminded him of Sheldon's kill-Batman smile, and it was clear with the way Howard and Raj angled their bodies away from her that they found it just as creepy.
Then, Ramona put a hand on Sheldon's shoulder. This made Raj squeak again, while Leonard continued to watch, his eyes focused on the way Ramona's fingers began to move slowly along Sheldon's collar. Leonard heard Howard whisper 'frak', but he stopped himself from reacting, and just continued to watch. And wait. Though for what, he wasn't sure.
Sheldon looked up. "Do you need anything else, Ramona?"
"Oh, I certainly do..." Ramona breathed, and moved so this time, her hip touched Sheldon's shoulder. It wasn't until then that Leonard noticed Ramona was wearing something more in fashion than her usual sweater and plain jeans. He'd even go so far as saying she looked like some hot freshman, though that god-awful smile was still off-putting. "Dr. Cooper, I went through he history of your work and read through your paper on the perturbative amplitudes in n=4 supersymmetric theories. I'm still a little confused by it, so do you think you'd be able to..." Ramona's finger was now writing a little S on the skin of Sheldon's neck, "...indulge a lesser mind like mine and enlighten me? In private?"
Leonard sucked in a breath. He didn't have to look to see Howard and Raj had turned to stone.
"Ramona?"
"Yes, Dr. Cooper?"
"Please leave."
Leonard exhaled loudly. Ramona's face was devoid of color, and Sheldon looked...well, Sheldon. And he was doing a semi-death glare.
"Dr. Cooper," Ramona stammered, "Did I do anything to offend you? Is it that I'm wearing a skirt with a hem three inches above my knee or that the top two buttons of my blouse are undone? Is it the juice? The--"
"Ramona, everything you say is correct, and to save you the time and effort, I will simply add that you are making me uncomfortable with your persistence at invading my personal space, not to mention writing the letters S, E and X on my skin, though why you would do so is beyond me. Now, please leave so I may continue to converse with my colleagues."
Leonard watched Ramona try to keep a straight face as she stomped away. When she disappeared, he turned back to Sheldon and started to speak, but Howard beat him to it.
"What the frak did you just do that for, Sheldon?"
"What?"
"Dude, she was hitting on you big time," Raj declared with an emphatic slap on the table. "Didn't you just say she wrote 'sex' on your neck?"
"Yes, but that would hardly be an indication that...Oh." Sheldon blinked, and Leonard had to roll his eyes. Some genius, he thought. "Well, regardless, if indeed her tracing a suggestive word on my neck is a signal that she is interested in achieving coitus with me, I cannot say I reciprocate the feeling. She is, as the urban youth would put it, not my type."
Leonard frowned at that, but again, Howard beat him to the question. "So you're saying you do have a type?"
"Just because I said Ramona's not my 'type' doesn't mean I have a 'type'."
"Actually, it kinda does," Leonard quipped, and sure enough, Sheldon scowled at him.
"Leonard, am I to assume that you are disagreeing with me?"
"Well, you're certainly disagreeing with yourself. I mean...the opposite of negative is positive and vice versa, not neutral. Ergo, since you have stated Ramona is not your type, then something...or someone else must be."
Sheldon's entire face tightened and twitched, and the veins protruded from his neck like snakes. Leonard had seen him react this way whenever he was was proven wrong, though this being Sheldon, he was sure to transcend or skirt the situation without losing face.
Sheldon cleared his throat. "Then perhaps I should put an addition to my statement. Ramona is not my type, nor is anyone else my type."
"Oh, you are sooo dead down there," Leonard heard Howard mutter, though if Sheldon heard, he didn't acknowledge. "Sheldon, Ramona may be...well, psycho, but you gotta admit, she has gotten hotter in the last two years."
"And she has the hots for you," Raj added.
"Yes, but that's hardly a reason to even think of engaging in coitus with her," Sheldon pointed out.
"Dude!" Raj threw exasperated arms in the air. "A girl practically begging to sleep with you IS a reason to have sex with her."
"That is a fact yet to be established. You are not Ramona, and therefore, would not be able to tell exactly what her thoughts are," Sheldon refuted, then faced Howard. "For another, sleeping with someone who is begging to be slept with provides no challenge and is therefore, pathetic."
"If pathetic means getting laid, then sure, I'm pathetic." Howard shook his open palms in the air. Leonard thought it made him look like a bogeyman. "But not getting laid at all is even more pathetic."
"There is nothing pathetic about having the ability to rise above one's libido. In fact, it is a strength. Remember Dennis Kim?"
"So he knocked up his girlfriend but we're talking about you here. You, not getting laid, very pathetic."
"How many times must I establish that controlling one's libido is a strength? Have any of you tried to do that?" Sheldon challenged, and was met with silence. With a smug look, he turned back to his sandwich. "I didn't think so."
Leonard took another sip of Red Bull. He had to admit, Sheldon had a point. "Sheldon, what exactly don't you like about Ramona? You once told me she's smart, insightful, and she practically worships the ground you walk on."
"Yes, that is true," Sheldon conceded in a flat tone. "She certainly has been giving me gifts of food, and lavishing me everyday with compliments. But she holds no respect for my personal boundaries, practically breathing her carbon dioxide into my face. Not to mention she continuously grabs at any opportunity to touch me."
"You don't seem to mind that with Penny," Raj reminded. "Especially last night."
A slight jolt of the table, and Leonard heard the tinkling of metal against the floor. At first, he thought he'd knocked one of his utensils over, but then he saw Sheldon bend down to pick up his own bread knife.
"Well, it seems that gravity is still a pervalent principle," Sheldon muttered into the silence, then waved his hand. "Let's move along to the next topic of conversation and exclude any mention of Ramona in it. Are we clear?"
Raj and Howard muttered their agreement and began opening a topic on Captain America.
But Leonard wasn't going to let things slide. "Raj, what exactly happened with Penny last night?"
Another jolt of their table. It was subtler this time, but it was there, and Leonard made it a point to keep a furitive eye on Sheldon, who had begun slicing his sandwich like it was uncooked beef.
Slicing it with the bread knife that had fallen to the floor, and which Leonard hadn't even seen him wipe clean.
Raj narrated about Penny and Sheldon's sneaky tactics, his and Howard's defeat, and the victory jig and hug which ended with Sheldon rushing off to the bathroom, and Penny to flee to her own apartment. It didn't take long for the conversation to move to a heated argument between Raj and Howard as to who was to blame, but Leonard tuned them out, except for the times they mentioned Penny's name. Those were the moments when Sheldon's nostrils would flare, his eye would twitch, and his lips would quiver.
And he was still slicing his sandwich until the ear-splitting noise of the bread knife against the ceramic plate caused other diners to turn their heads in annoyance.
Leonard reached out and grabbed Sheldon's hand. Sheldon froze and slowly raised his head. His breathing was erratic, Leonard noticed, and his forehead was beginning to shine with sweat.
Leonard took a deep breath, and whispered, "Penny."
Sheldon did one hard slice on the plate, the screech reverberating in the cafeteria. Groans and glares were thrown their way, though Leonard was obivious to it, especially Raj and Howard, who seemed on the verge of strangling each other.
Sheldon dropped the knife on the plate and pulled his hand away. "Excuse me a moment."
Leonard watched him practically flee the table, bumping into several students before bursting out of the cafeteria doors. He blinked and took off his glasses to clean the lens, though he knew Sheldon's streaking past his line of sights like a blur had nothing to do with a smudged pair of spectacles.
He put his glasses back on, and that's when he saw Dr. Leslie Winkle heading towards their table. Raj and Howard had stopped arguing, mostly because Raj had eeped and gone mute.
"Good day, men."
"Good day, Leslie," Leonard greeted, and waited for her to ask where 'Dr. Dumbass' was.
But what she said next surprised him. "You better check up on Dr. Dumbass. I've been informed he's taking an unscheduled shower in the radiation lab."
Leonard caught the smirk on Leslie's face just before she turned and sauntered over to the cafeteria lines.
A/N: No physical manifestation of Penny in this chapter, but of course, we can't forget to at least give the two female antagonists of this fanfic a little spotlight ^_^ Penny will be in the next chapter though, and I will try my best to update quickly.
Do you want teasers? clothes will be discarded...
Chapter 6