A thousand words I don't need

Oct 17, 2004 21:34

So hello. I haven't updated in a while--one, due to the ongoing screwyness and two, my browser has decided to spontaneously collapse on me these few days, which has left me not on the best side of amused.
I love acoustic.
Yes. The rest of last week was...sketchy. Went over to Sam's on thursday and caught up on Six Feet. The looks we keep getting from peers are seriously suggestive, it's real dodgy. Everything we do makes people think there is something going on between us but the matter of fact is that I'm trying so fucking hard right now to extinguish any idle flames before more shit starts brewing up again. I don't want this whole saga to carry on forever because it will mean the three of us won't be able to move on. Sigh. I must stop seeing him so much but it's just so difficult to detach yourself from one of your bestest friends.
Friday night I was supposed to be going out with the guys but to be honest I couldn't be pissed, I was so shattered. Bastards at the Moathouse apparently don't accept Validate UK anymore because poor Robbie got stopped at the door. It's all gone down the potty.
Saturday I chilled with Dan, Nick and Sam in town, though I hadn't orginally arranged to meet with them but randomly saw them in Virgin. It's funny how things work out because it just so happens that a few minutes before I was fuming walking down Parkfield because Nick hadn't phoned me back when I said I'd be popping round so I went over to find there was no-one in. Anyhow, I got the impression the atmosphere was slightly tense so I made myself scarce to 'Smiths. They followed me in, just as I bumped into Kerr who started speaking to me in Italian and in my flustered state I forgot every word I'd been taught. Hmph.
Today I went round to the Garcia's and had pudding. Yum. Linda is an absolute legend! It was real nice, me and Nick actually chilled for once except the physical stuff was still half there. I don't know what is going to happen. In my heart I keep on holding onto the hope that we'll just get to know each other real well as friends first and see how we go from there but another part of me is screaming that it's never going to happen even though we seem to be compatible and our instincts are screaming we need each other so badly yet we're both denying ourselves to no end. Maybe in a few years time he'll realise we were meant to be.
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