If you could only see me through the eyes of love
So I never thought I'd be in the position of having to cry myself to sleep every night to feeling about a thousand times more worthy and loved at same time the next evening. But that's what I've done.
I walked away today, and in doing that I've managed to renew an amazing friendship. We're kindred spirits, Sam and I. And although I could say that I'm residing in resignation, bowing out in my quiet way whilst all I want is requited love but my head's at rest now and I guess that's the main thing. We finally had our talk today, which was beautiful and it went just the way I hoped it would be. I told him how bipolar he had made me, how his actions were always so inconsiderate these days and this impalable distance had become yet another barrier that prevented us from being close again, something that hurt way more than being rejected. And although I was prepared to take a risk to our friendship to be with him, the feelings he had for me had never developed to be strong enough to stop him walking away, the simple truth resides in the fact that he didn't want to hurt me more by getting himself into something that would have essentially been a lie. So there you go.
I love his integrity more than ever and he's not a friend I'm letting go so easily. I can finally breathe and be a whole person again. That's not to say I won't look out for him in the afterlife, of course. Cough.
I made my Rach a highly sexy edited version of a journal template last night, waay into the wee hours of the morning [hey Rach, loveee], which rewarded me with many smiles, yay.
I've got nothing else to say.
I walked away today, and in doing that I've managed to renew an amazing friendship. We're kindred spirits, Sam and I. And although I could say that I'm residing in resignation, bowing out in my quiet way whilst all I want is requited love but my head's at rest now and I guess that's the main thing. We finally had our talk today, which was beautiful and it went just the way I hoped it would be. I told him how bipolar he had made me, how his actions were always so inconsiderate these days and this impalable distance had become yet another barrier that prevented us from being close again, something that hurt way more than being rejected. And although I was prepared to take a risk to our friendship to be with him, the feelings he had for me had never developed to be strong enough to stop him walking away, the simple truth resides in the fact that he didn't want to hurt me more by getting himself into something that would have essentially been a lie. So there you go.
I love his integrity more than ever and he's not a friend I'm letting go so easily. I can finally breathe and be a whole person again. That's not to say I won't look out for him in the afterlife, of course. Cough.
I made my Rach a highly sexy edited version of a journal template last night, waay into the wee hours of the morning [hey Rach, loveee], which rewarded me with many smiles, yay.
I've got nothing else to say.