The Grates
So I was at this pub the other night, standing at the bar, and there was this sexy sheila there. I was giving her the once (or more) over; and she was kind of looking at me, and her look was kind of saying, "so, you gonna come have a nice chat with me?" and my look was kind of saying, "I'm not really sure yet?". You see, was she was wearing a 'The Grates' shirt and given that there can't be too many people in this town who are familiar with their oeuvre it was a very obvious opening conversational gambit, however, as it happens, I don't really want to talk about the Grates at all! I mean they are OK, but get some more instruments, dudes!
As a consequence I did not initiate a chat and instead went back to my table, from where I realised I could sort of continue monitoring this lady through a window. I discussed the matter with my chaps and I received the motivational wind-up. What am I, they questioned. Show some backbone. What would Adam Gilchrist do (they did not say this; I thought it up myself). Finally I mustered up the pluck and began to walk towards her location. At that very moment, her little group of people all began to leave. Far out, I thought, this is it, so I focussed myself and began to move very quickly. Then I slammed my knee into a low-lying table! After that, of course, she easily outpaced me.
I will never forget you, shirt-wearing sheila. My limp will be your mark upon me. I wear it with pride and sorrow. Actually why am I even still limping? My knee doesn't even really hurt any more, but it's like my body has forgotten how to walk properly. I am off to practise. Bye.
As a consequence I did not initiate a chat and instead went back to my table, from where I realised I could sort of continue monitoring this lady through a window. I discussed the matter with my chaps and I received the motivational wind-up. What am I, they questioned. Show some backbone. What would Adam Gilchrist do (they did not say this; I thought it up myself). Finally I mustered up the pluck and began to walk towards her location. At that very moment, her little group of people all began to leave. Far out, I thought, this is it, so I focussed myself and began to move very quickly. Then I slammed my knee into a low-lying table! After that, of course, she easily outpaced me.
I will never forget you, shirt-wearing sheila. My limp will be your mark upon me. I wear it with pride and sorrow. Actually why am I even still limping? My knee doesn't even really hurt any more, but it's like my body has forgotten how to walk properly. I am off to practise. Bye.