(no subject)
i find comfort in the fact that people of allages have the same problems. in a way it's hard to acknowledge bc it means that my problems now don't have any solutions. but i think we need problems to be grateful. and we need problems to make things more interesting. i'm not sure how i feel about new york. i am currently in my own little bedroom in my 2 room apt with ben on the floor in my living room and my roomates in the other room on the lower west side of manhattan. the financial district. its weird saying that, just like its weird being here. everything seems crooked and its been awhile since i've done this and its about time. i am a creature of habit. i like what i like and who i like and i like things. i like change too. but i love my comfort zone more. sweetjesus ny is a crazycrazy place.
i don't get the hype yet.
but i do like being here bc its like the antithesis of tucson. bc its not even the same. and i miss tucson too much to say. and its weird bc i didnt think i would and the people here.. it's a strange place.
but in a way, i do like how everyone has the same problems. and how everyone behaves like idiots no matter who you are. i don't like it in the sense that i still sort of hope that one day i grow up and i have all the answers and my kids will think i'm superwoman. but thats not how it is. we're all this insecure, unstable, unrelenting type people and sometimes we're so predictable. everyone is the same. i like it bc its a way to relate. a way to relate without being drunk, or high, or ridiculous. everyone has that love that they're looking for or hoping to regain or hoping to getover. and everyone does their thing. its odd.
this is just a rant. i miss home. i am my familiy. you are who you protect and what you take care of. i decided that independence is overrated. seriously. i'm not condoning co-dependence but i think there should always be some symbiotic relationship. i always want someone to take care of me or to be there or care. my family. in ny i've felt more alone than i ever had and its the strangest feeling, thinking no one will notice if you're gone even if its just for a few days. i want to be noticed. eep. i'm her for another 6 weeks? come visit i have an extra bed. i'm going to a few interviews tomorrow which will be fun. i like washington sq park and central park. i think this week i'll make it up to the other musuems and maybe go to mark twains house. keep myself busy.
i had some really good empanadas the other day. and the grey's anatomy season finale was crazy. and congrats to all the '06 graduates. its absurd that the sophomores are going to be seniors. love you lovies.♥
i don't get the hype yet.
but i do like being here bc its like the antithesis of tucson. bc its not even the same. and i miss tucson too much to say. and its weird bc i didnt think i would and the people here.. it's a strange place.
but in a way, i do like how everyone has the same problems. and how everyone behaves like idiots no matter who you are. i don't like it in the sense that i still sort of hope that one day i grow up and i have all the answers and my kids will think i'm superwoman. but thats not how it is. we're all this insecure, unstable, unrelenting type people and sometimes we're so predictable. everyone is the same. i like it bc its a way to relate. a way to relate without being drunk, or high, or ridiculous. everyone has that love that they're looking for or hoping to regain or hoping to getover. and everyone does their thing. its odd.
this is just a rant. i miss home. i am my familiy. you are who you protect and what you take care of. i decided that independence is overrated. seriously. i'm not condoning co-dependence but i think there should always be some symbiotic relationship. i always want someone to take care of me or to be there or care. my family. in ny i've felt more alone than i ever had and its the strangest feeling, thinking no one will notice if you're gone even if its just for a few days. i want to be noticed. eep. i'm her for another 6 weeks? come visit i have an extra bed. i'm going to a few interviews tomorrow which will be fun. i like washington sq park and central park. i think this week i'll make it up to the other musuems and maybe go to mark twains house. keep myself busy.
i had some really good empanadas the other day. and the grey's anatomy season finale was crazy. and congrats to all the '06 graduates. its absurd that the sophomores are going to be seniors. love you lovies.♥