Spooning...
Spooning is nice... intimate without sex. It's a closeness that's very comforting and can be very loving. With lovers, it can be a prelude to sex (or something afterwards). With very close friends, it can even just be friendly, but it can be more complicated than that; there are a few problems that may occur. For example:
1) Upper hand placement.
- Assuming I'm in back and on my left side, my right arm has to go somewhere. Whether it's subconscious or not, it always winds up on the boobs. It just seems that the particular angle and position is very comfortable for my arm. I am very respectful of women, so I honestly would not go for the cheap "accidental" grope. I will try to move my hand in a better position... on my hip or hers? Doesn't feel snuggly enough. Arm in front of the boobs, away from her body? Feels very awkward and not intimate enough. Arm in front of boobs, touching, but hand up hear her neck? OK, but awkward position.
So, I wind up closing my fist or facing my hand away so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to grab them.
That problem is partially solved, but then we move onto the larger issue...
2) Accidental arousal
- OK, this has the potential to change the whole dynamics of a budding relationship. It can, at the very least, be really embarassing. At the worst, can make a girl think you're an asshole pervert.
If I am attempting to spoon with someone with whom I have spooned with a lot in the past, like someone I have a long-term sexual relationship with, things will probably be OK or at least not a big issue. But, if I don't know this person well, or this is a potential relationship, I'll probably get a little... err... aroused, which can complicate things. This is mostly an involuntary problem.
The worst thing about this situation is that my brain will sabotage me. I will think to myself "Shit... I better not get hard". OF course, this makes me think about it. Then my mind will think about all the things that could be accomplished with my fully aroused state. I will literally bite my tongue to try to stop the reaction, but, as any man knows, the close proximity of warm soft woman-flesh pretty much predetermines my failure.
So then I am left with either the awkwardness of both of us being very aware of my erection and her being too polite to say anything, or hearing her say "Umm... Is that your dick?". The only true option I have is to awkwardly bend at the waist a little bit more so that the front of my groin is not touching the back of her body. This is not comfortable, and she still knows what happened.
Sometimes I feel like I'm putting too much thought into things. Man, why is life so complicated?
1) Upper hand placement.
- Assuming I'm in back and on my left side, my right arm has to go somewhere. Whether it's subconscious or not, it always winds up on the boobs. It just seems that the particular angle and position is very comfortable for my arm. I am very respectful of women, so I honestly would not go for the cheap "accidental" grope. I will try to move my hand in a better position... on my hip or hers? Doesn't feel snuggly enough. Arm in front of the boobs, away from her body? Feels very awkward and not intimate enough. Arm in front of boobs, touching, but hand up hear her neck? OK, but awkward position.
So, I wind up closing my fist or facing my hand away so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to grab them.
That problem is partially solved, but then we move onto the larger issue...
2) Accidental arousal
- OK, this has the potential to change the whole dynamics of a budding relationship. It can, at the very least, be really embarassing. At the worst, can make a girl think you're an asshole pervert.
If I am attempting to spoon with someone with whom I have spooned with a lot in the past, like someone I have a long-term sexual relationship with, things will probably be OK or at least not a big issue. But, if I don't know this person well, or this is a potential relationship, I'll probably get a little... err... aroused, which can complicate things. This is mostly an involuntary problem.
The worst thing about this situation is that my brain will sabotage me. I will think to myself "Shit... I better not get hard". OF course, this makes me think about it. Then my mind will think about all the things that could be accomplished with my fully aroused state. I will literally bite my tongue to try to stop the reaction, but, as any man knows, the close proximity of warm soft woman-flesh pretty much predetermines my failure.
So then I am left with either the awkwardness of both of us being very aware of my erection and her being too polite to say anything, or hearing her say "Umm... Is that your dick?". The only true option I have is to awkwardly bend at the waist a little bit more so that the front of my groin is not touching the back of her body. This is not comfortable, and she still knows what happened.
Sometimes I feel like I'm putting too much thought into things. Man, why is life so complicated?