Turtle Story: They Stumbled Toward Ecstasy Ch.2 part 1
Title: They Stumbled Toward Ecstasy
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Raph/Don
Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles.
Summary: They make a great team - both as colleagues and lovers. The work is intense, the sex is amazing; but Donatello is hiding something, refusing Raphael the one thing that should be so easy to give at this point. What happened to him?
Warnings: Fighting and fear of death - LOTS of swearing (mostly on Donnie's part) and Sex, manipulation and emotional (and physical) betrayal.
They Stumbled Toward Ecstasy
By: Melissa the Damgel
Shatter
Part 1 of 2
color:black">~2~
"Times New Roman";color:black">It wasn't like he needed to hear him say it; but it bugged him.
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donnie had found him. He came to him one night, all dark and quiet. He knew something was wrong but he didn't know how to ask or how to approach him. In the end, it was Donnie who had come to him, crawling into his hammock, sliding his arms around his neck and leaning into him. At first he was so empty, so emotionless; he didn't remember what he said or did, but it was as though he snapped Don out of it and his brother had stared down at him, tears welling within his eyes and he leaned toward him, cupping his face and pressing his brow to his. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That's how it started, the quiet nights, the whispered talks, their ideas for setting up a system for them to work together as the Nightwatcher; and then came fingertips brushing knuckles, eyes locking till one of them looked away, the first hesitant kisses... It had been so slow, so delicate, such a gentle way to start, and before Raphael knew it, he was telling Donnie he loved him over a greasy engine and a few cans of beer. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello hadn't jerked away or blushed, he didn't even really look at him after the confession, and he hadn’t tried to busy himself with the machine either. He had just stood perfectly still, staring down at the wrench and the engine between them. Raphael swore his heart had been about ready to pound out of his chest due to his nerves; but then Donnie had looked up and with a smile that was so wise and sad, yet happy as though it was new to him feeling that way, he was able to breathe again.
"Times New Roman";color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donnie had leaned over the engine then, reaching for Raphael's arm and a kiss brushed between them. It was thoughtful and searching and Raphael had felt Don actually analyze the way he felt against his mouth, the way he tasted, even taking a moment to really ponder upon the way he was kissing him. He broke the kiss with a flustered sigh, but Donatello obviously wasn't finished yet and he walked around the grease block between them and he wrapped his arms slowly around Raphael's waist and leaned against him, pressing flush against him without demanding anything, yet asking him for more. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael had kissed him again. He loved kissing him. And that gentle kiss had seemed to awaken something in Donatello for he clung to him unable to move, unable to breathe, and he wouldn’t allow Raph to pull away - but he wouldn't answer his questions either. Later, only after weeks of waiting for Donatello to regain his footing did Raphael tell him again, whispering an 'I love you' in his ear only to have a clinging and shaking Donatello against him. That was the first time Donnie had told him 'not yet'. He didn't understand him and wanted him to explain, but all he could say was, 'We can't say that yet. Not yet.' and he had kissed him. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That was the first time they had made love. What should have been a happy, amazing moment was filled with slow, awkward touches and even a little sadness. Raphael had explored every inch of Donatello, tasting his skin, touching his body and kissing him everywhere he could. And it had been good; very good. Neither of them had felt the same thing since like that night had wrought - but the memory of Donnie clinging to him afterwards and holding him so tight still unnerved him. At first it had given him hope, but nothing had been said.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Something had happened to Donnie the first night he had come to him, searching him out and asking him to hide him away from the pain where no one else would look for him as something inside of him faded and only came back to life when he saw Raphael… had touch his hand. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael kissed Donatello's neck as he slept next to him in Donnie's bed. He ran his hand along Don's arm and traced the patterns in his shell. He could never get enough of him. But if he could get that door open, climb past that wall nestled around the reason for Donatello's hesitancy, he would forever be his. Burying his face against Don's neck, he inhaled slowly as he slid his arm warmly around his waist.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">He just needed to find the key to open the cage. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">~~~~~*~~~~~
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Raphael! I swear to God if you don't abort this mission right now I'll make sure personally that you're dead after you get home!" He shouted into his ear piece, standing in front of his council, his hands flying over the keyboard to locate exactly where Raph was. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Yer not being all that persuasive Don." Raph hissed over the line.
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello's stomach dropped and his heart hammered wildly. This was not how the mission was supposed to go. There had been a police scanner saying a man had been robbed and beaten severely by some Purple Dragon's over in the park. Raph had announced that he wanted to bust their heads in to teach them a lesson, and Don had agreed to it. Honestly, after the kidnapping gig, he thought this would be a piece of cake. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael had roughed up a few PD punks and found the location for their hideout and had proceeded to make his way in to the building to give them a scare and maybe even help break up one of their gang rings.
"Times New Roman";color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That’s when they argued - Raphael insisting he just wanted a little bit of fun and not to worry. But Donatello wasn’t so certain. He had wanted to do research, put surveillance on the building first, he had wanted to get the building plans and study them to find weaknesses; but Raph ignored him and had gone anyway.
color:black">Turns out the punk had told the truth, but he had led him to the one place Raphael didn’t want to go - the heart of the Purple Dragon headquarters were they not only had Hun, but an almost limitless amount of fire power to fight the single intruder with.
color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">It was loud and echoing on Donatello's line as shot after shot was fired at Raphael. He heard Raphael grunt and he let out a shout of surprise. "Raph!" He gripped the edge of the tabletop, attempting to breathe to keep calm.
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Son of a bitch…" Raphael growled through his headpiece and Donatello could do nothing. He even kept himself from ordering him again to get out of the building - one word could distract Raphael and get him killedmso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">There was an explosion or two through the earpiece and Donnie shook, waiting and hating the way his stomach flipped and his head spun. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths, calming his nerves and forcing his mind to think. Lifting his hand, he pressed his fingers against the headset so he couldn't miss a sound and, as calmly as he could manage, he called for his brother. "Raphael..?" He asked, waiting. The pounding of his heavy breathing were reassuring that he was alive - but it was also frightening and he tried not to think of the worst. "Raph, get out of there, now."mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael swore and Don felt a bit of relief ease into his belly. "Raphie-"
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I can't!" He snarled, and Donnie could just see him slamming his fist against whatever it was he was hiding behind. "I'm trapped. They got me wedged in. I'm holding them off, but I can't do it forever."
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Shaking and yet calmly pushing away from his desk, Donatello stood on weak legs and ran his mind through every option possible. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I'm coming to get you." Donnie finally stated and jerked open his desk drawer to tug out his duffle bag and begin filling it with anything he might need.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"What? No! You stay the hell out of this Don! I'll figure a way out!"
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Shut up!" Donatello shouted and Raph was instantly silent on the other line. "Just... hold on. I'll be there." And with that he threw his headset away from his body and ran to the other side of his lab to stuff some weapons, several types of homemade bombs and various other necessities into his bag. He shouldered the bag and grabbed his bo staff and exited his room in a rush of wind and grim silence."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Leo? Mikey!" Don shouted, turning off the TV to Mikey's video game and instantly receiving a 'hey!' from his brother."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie! I was playing that!" Mikey whined, reaching to grab the remote back from his brother. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie?" Leo asked, returning from his bedroom. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Come on! I was winning! It was going to be my all time record!" Mike lunged for Don's hand, but Donatello jerked his hand away and threw the remote control directly at the television, shattering one of them and causing several sparks to leap from it."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Leo was instantly ready, rushing to Donnie's side, and Michelangelo was startled, almost frightened from his brother's uncharacteristic action. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Raph's in trouble. We need to go help him. Come on." Donnie explained in a soft voice and he turned, leading the way out of the lair and up to the garage. His brothers exchanged glances with each other but they didn't argue with their brother and were quick to follow him. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello drove. He knew where he was going and a plan was already forming in his head. The drive there was excruciatingly quiet though he knew Leo had questions and Mikey was fidgeting to keep himself from babbling wildly in his fear.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I'll explain when we get home." Don suddenly said, causing Mikey to jump and Leo to stare at him hard. "We're here. Be careful, it's the Purple Dragons headquarters. Hun's inside, as is enough firearms to stock a US military division.""Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Turning a corner, Donatello saw the warehouse up ahead and slowed the van to a stop. Standing and stepping out of the driver's seat, he pointed to Leo to take a seat. "Help me out. I want you to drive right into that building. Be my distraction, please? I'll sneak around the back, hopefully I can get Raph in and out quickly." "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Don... I don't know about this." Leonardo protested but shut his mouth the moment Donatello turned angry eyes on him. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#FF5200">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"We've already waited long enough. He might die any minute now. Work with me for once, Leo." He growled and shouldered his duffle bag then proceeded to climb up to the roof access of the van. "Now gun it! Drive right into that building and distract them for as long as possible. I'll call on your cell when Raph's safe." and with that, Don slammed the hatch closed behind him.
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Leo didn't move, and Mikey took the driver's seat, his hands shaking but his mouth thinned into a determined line. Gripping the steering wheel as tight as possible, Michelangelo's foot slammed onto the gas and the van moved, roaring to life and picking up speed fast and wildly. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello gripped the hatch's handle to keep himself steady as the van swerved several times on its way towards the front doors of the warehouse. At the last minute just as the front end of the van was about to burst through, Donatello leapt from the top and just managed to clear the edge of the roof before he went into a head long roll over the tar and papered roof. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Hissing and holding his elbow tight to his side, Donatello ignored the scraped skin and pain in favor of standing and looking for what he needed. Gunfire and explosions down below told him his brothers were achieving their goal. Digging through his bag, Donatello pulled free several time bombs and he set two at a corner of the warehouse. Hunkering down and waiting the whole minute, the explosion shook everything out at that southern corner. The men down below shouted and fell to the floor, rubble fell from the ceiling and dust blanketed everything.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Rolling several balls across the floor, they fell through the hole and down to the warehouse below. Upon hitting the floor they erupted into billowing clouds of smoke and quickly began to fill the area. Hurrying to the side of the hole, Donatello secured the grappling hook to the wall and then threw the rope down into the warehouse. "Raph!" He shouted. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello could see the van down below take another circuit around the warehouse and destroying yet another palette of weapons as Mikey continued to try and scatter the Purple Dragons. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie?" Raphael called, the lights on his helmet shining up from the smoke as he made his way towards him."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Grab hold!" Don ordered and then pulled a small machine from his back and hooked the rope to it. "You have the rope?" He asked, and threw a few more smoke balls down into the building. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Got it!" "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">And just like that, Donatello hit the button on the machine and it reeled Raphael up and out of the warehouse."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Once Raphael was secure on the roof, Donatello tossed another bomb in through the hole and then grabbed Raphael's arm, tugging him after him while pulling out his shell cell at the same time. "Got him. Let's go."
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Who..?" Raph started but was pushed towards the edge of the building and just as the bumper of the van appeared, Don shoved Raphael with him over the edge and onto the roof of the van. It swerved but it straightened and barreled down the street and took the corner at a squealing tire turn.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Holding tight to the hatch to keep from falling off, the two turtles clung to the van till Mikey finally stopped the van - which wasn't till they arrived back home and were safe behind closed doors. "Times New Roman"">
color:black">
color:black">Grumbling and climbing down from the van as he tore his helmet off, Raphael snarled at Michelangelo and pointed at him, "Who the hell taught you how to drive?" He demanded, completely missing the awed look his brother was giving him as he looked him up at down in the Nightwatcher suit.
Donatello stormed off of the van and threw his bag down, completely ignoring the possibility of explosives going off within his sack. Before Michelangelo could answer Raph's question Donnie's hand seized Raph's shoulder and threw him back against the van.
"Fuck, Donnie!" Raph snarled only to get his brother right in his face.
"What the hell were you thinking?" He screamed, shoving Raphael back against the van once again. "You almost got yourself killed! I told you to stand down and you should have listened!"
Scowling, Raphael opened his mouth to argue back but he never got the chance.
"No!" Don roared, jabbing his finger into his chest and keeping him in place. "You agreed that it would be me calling the shots just as I agreed to you doing the footwork. You agreed that you needed someone on the outside to keep you in line and you swore you would keep to that contract between us. But you didn’t Raph! You didn’t listen to me and look what happened when you ignored me! You screwed up Raph!"
"That's enough." Leonardo's hard voice cracked between them. He took Donnie by the arm, trying to pull him away from Raphael who he could see the pressure rising as his anger cooked and boiled under his skin. Normally he was the one yelling and scolding Raphael for his mistakes; and Donnie had every right to be yelling at Raph for his rebelliousness that nearly cost him his life; but this was unnerving. Donatello was not supposed to be the one acting like him - and just like that Leonardo knew what was going on and he looked at Donnie hard with a knowing look as to why he was screaming at Raph.
Jerking away much more violently than needed from Leo as though he had been burnt and his eyes far more wild than they had ever been as he yelled at Raph, Donatello pointed a finger at the eldest and glared daggers upon the leader of their troop. "Shut up Leo. You are of no use to me." He hissed. And for the first time since they arrived home did pure silence fall upon the brothers.
Leonardo stiffened and his jaw tightened as he flexed his fingers at his side, but he didn't move, and he didn't talk. Something silently passed between Donatello and him that was palpable and thick as mud.
Looking back to Raphael, Donatello swelled, his anger far from dissuaded and his own fears edging the corners of his words. "You fuckin' thick-headed brute. I told you to wait, why the hell did you ignore me? Huh?"
"I thought I'd be fine. There wasn't supposed ta be the whole damn gang in there. I thought it was goin' ta be a bunch of punk kids and some pocket knives." he defended, glaring at him and momentarily pushing from his mind the silent fight he had just witnessed between Leo and Don - but he wasn’t going to forget about it.
"But you didn't listen! Do you think I'm in your head on these missions just to suggest things to you? No! I'm there to keep your ass from being handed to you. You would have died if I hadn't brought them along; and now look at this mess you got us in!"
"Me?" Raphael shouted, his jaw dropping at the accusation. "Me? You were the one who ran to Leo! You were the one who dragged them into all of this! I wanted to keep them out of it." He pointed at Leo and Mikey, visualizing to Donnie that he was the reason their brothers had found out about their secret in the first place.
"I brought them along because I didn't want you to die." Don snapped, slapping Raphael's hand away from his face and shoving it back down at his side.
Raph's hands darted out and he grabbed Donatello by his forearms, gripping at him tightly and stepping towards him in a whirlwind of dominance and desperation. "Then admit you love me!" He shook him, holding tight to him.
Donatello's eyes widened and his head jerked but he stopped himself from looking directly at Leo and Mikey to see their reactions to Raphael's demand. Several pounding heartbeats spanned between them and Donnie struggled out of his grasp, his breath coming fast and sketchy. "Don't you dare change the subject - You ignored my order!”
Scowling with a mixture of disgust and hurt, Raph threw his hands in the air, "Whatever. I ain't dealing with this right now." He scooped up his helmet and pushed past him, making his way for the garage door.
"Raph..." Michelangelo whispered, shifting in place and then following after his brother, grasping at his arm hesitantly.
Looking down, Donatello shook, he wouldn't allow the fear to rise, the anger was so much easier to hold onto right now. Raphael had been so close to death tonight, more so than ever. Mafia, gangs, police chases, murderers - he had faced it all but tonight because of him ignoring his orders, he had almost disappeared forever. He couldn't allow his true emotions to surface. "You irresponsible, selfish, troglodyte fuckwit!" Donatello screamed, his shoulders hunched, his face twisted, and his eyes squeezed shut. And all was lost the moment his voice died. He couldn't lose him.
"I screwed up!" Raphael shouted, spinning on his heel. "I messed up! Happy? But at least I ain't scared to do what I think needs to be done - or said." He scowled and turned, leaving the garage and abandoning Donnie to Leo as Mikey trailed after him.
Leonardo didn't know what to say, he was at a loss for words for once. Raising his eyes, he stared at Donatello - who quickly turned his face further away.
Donnie had never once looked to Leo during this time. And it had to stay that way, for his sanity. He couldn't allow the slightest hint of skin or shadow from Leonardo to be seen by his eyes. "Just leave me alone Leo." Even he could admit he sounded cold.
Looking down and shaking his head, Leonardo wiped a hand across his face and shook his head, "Just because-"
"Fuck off Leo!" Don screamed. His voice echoed in the cement garage, bouncing off the walls and reverberating off the tin roof.
Leo turned his back on him and left, striding towards the exit, his hands knotted and turning white at his side. "Don't ruin this for yourself." he shot back before he disappeared, slamming the door behind him.
It was a long time before Donnie finally moved. He found himself sitting on the bumper of the van, staring at his hands and realizing he was shaking. He couldn't voice it, he couldn't think about it, but he felt it wiggling within his belly and scouring through his heart. He knew on an emotional level he was right, but he couldn’t say it no matter how much he wanted too. He couldn't allow those emotions to become sentient - or he would break. He couldn't break again after having finally taped himself back together.
Donnie's face twisted and he shook his head, growling at himself and banishing the tears before they could form.
He just couldn't say it yet; he couldn't say it to Raph. It still hurt too much.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Continue to Part 2 of Chapter 2 ----> g33kg1rl.livejournal.com/23078.html#cutid1
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Raph/Don
Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles.
Summary: They make a great team - both as colleagues and lovers. The work is intense, the sex is amazing; but Donatello is hiding something, refusing Raphael the one thing that should be so easy to give at this point. What happened to him?
Warnings: Fighting and fear of death - LOTS of swearing (mostly on Donnie's part) and Sex, manipulation and emotional (and physical) betrayal.
They Stumbled Toward Ecstasy
By: Melissa the Damgel
Shatter
Part 1 of 2
color:black">~2~
"Times New Roman";color:black">It wasn't like he needed to hear him say it; but it bugged him.
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donnie had found him. He came to him one night, all dark and quiet. He knew something was wrong but he didn't know how to ask or how to approach him. In the end, it was Donnie who had come to him, crawling into his hammock, sliding his arms around his neck and leaning into him. At first he was so empty, so emotionless; he didn't remember what he said or did, but it was as though he snapped Don out of it and his brother had stared down at him, tears welling within his eyes and he leaned toward him, cupping his face and pressing his brow to his. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That's how it started, the quiet nights, the whispered talks, their ideas for setting up a system for them to work together as the Nightwatcher; and then came fingertips brushing knuckles, eyes locking till one of them looked away, the first hesitant kisses... It had been so slow, so delicate, such a gentle way to start, and before Raphael knew it, he was telling Donnie he loved him over a greasy engine and a few cans of beer. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello hadn't jerked away or blushed, he didn't even really look at him after the confession, and he hadn’t tried to busy himself with the machine either. He had just stood perfectly still, staring down at the wrench and the engine between them. Raphael swore his heart had been about ready to pound out of his chest due to his nerves; but then Donnie had looked up and with a smile that was so wise and sad, yet happy as though it was new to him feeling that way, he was able to breathe again.
"Times New Roman";color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donnie had leaned over the engine then, reaching for Raphael's arm and a kiss brushed between them. It was thoughtful and searching and Raphael had felt Don actually analyze the way he felt against his mouth, the way he tasted, even taking a moment to really ponder upon the way he was kissing him. He broke the kiss with a flustered sigh, but Donatello obviously wasn't finished yet and he walked around the grease block between them and he wrapped his arms slowly around Raphael's waist and leaned against him, pressing flush against him without demanding anything, yet asking him for more. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael had kissed him again. He loved kissing him. And that gentle kiss had seemed to awaken something in Donatello for he clung to him unable to move, unable to breathe, and he wouldn’t allow Raph to pull away - but he wouldn't answer his questions either. Later, only after weeks of waiting for Donatello to regain his footing did Raphael tell him again, whispering an 'I love you' in his ear only to have a clinging and shaking Donatello against him. That was the first time Donnie had told him 'not yet'. He didn't understand him and wanted him to explain, but all he could say was, 'We can't say that yet. Not yet.' and he had kissed him. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That was the first time they had made love. What should have been a happy, amazing moment was filled with slow, awkward touches and even a little sadness. Raphael had explored every inch of Donatello, tasting his skin, touching his body and kissing him everywhere he could. And it had been good; very good. Neither of them had felt the same thing since like that night had wrought - but the memory of Donnie clinging to him afterwards and holding him so tight still unnerved him. At first it had given him hope, but nothing had been said.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Something had happened to Donnie the first night he had come to him, searching him out and asking him to hide him away from the pain where no one else would look for him as something inside of him faded and only came back to life when he saw Raphael… had touch his hand. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael kissed Donatello's neck as he slept next to him in Donnie's bed. He ran his hand along Don's arm and traced the patterns in his shell. He could never get enough of him. But if he could get that door open, climb past that wall nestled around the reason for Donatello's hesitancy, he would forever be his. Burying his face against Don's neck, he inhaled slowly as he slid his arm warmly around his waist.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">He just needed to find the key to open the cage. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">~~~~~*~~~~~
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Raphael! I swear to God if you don't abort this mission right now I'll make sure personally that you're dead after you get home!" He shouted into his ear piece, standing in front of his council, his hands flying over the keyboard to locate exactly where Raph was. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Yer not being all that persuasive Don." Raph hissed over the line.
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello's stomach dropped and his heart hammered wildly. This was not how the mission was supposed to go. There had been a police scanner saying a man had been robbed and beaten severely by some Purple Dragon's over in the park. Raph had announced that he wanted to bust their heads in to teach them a lesson, and Don had agreed to it. Honestly, after the kidnapping gig, he thought this would be a piece of cake. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael had roughed up a few PD punks and found the location for their hideout and had proceeded to make his way in to the building to give them a scare and maybe even help break up one of their gang rings.
"Times New Roman";color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">That’s when they argued - Raphael insisting he just wanted a little bit of fun and not to worry. But Donatello wasn’t so certain. He had wanted to do research, put surveillance on the building first, he had wanted to get the building plans and study them to find weaknesses; but Raph ignored him and had gone anyway.
color:black">Turns out the punk had told the truth, but he had led him to the one place Raphael didn’t want to go - the heart of the Purple Dragon headquarters were they not only had Hun, but an almost limitless amount of fire power to fight the single intruder with.
color:black">
"Times New Roman";color:black">It was loud and echoing on Donatello's line as shot after shot was fired at Raphael. He heard Raphael grunt and he let out a shout of surprise. "Raph!" He gripped the edge of the tabletop, attempting to breathe to keep calm.
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Son of a bitch…" Raphael growled through his headpiece and Donatello could do nothing. He even kept himself from ordering him again to get out of the building - one word could distract Raphael and get him killedmso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">There was an explosion or two through the earpiece and Donnie shook, waiting and hating the way his stomach flipped and his head spun. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths, calming his nerves and forcing his mind to think. Lifting his hand, he pressed his fingers against the headset so he couldn't miss a sound and, as calmly as he could manage, he called for his brother. "Raphael..?" He asked, waiting. The pounding of his heavy breathing were reassuring that he was alive - but it was also frightening and he tried not to think of the worst. "Raph, get out of there, now."mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Raphael swore and Don felt a bit of relief ease into his belly. "Raphie-"
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I can't!" He snarled, and Donnie could just see him slamming his fist against whatever it was he was hiding behind. "I'm trapped. They got me wedged in. I'm holding them off, but I can't do it forever."
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Shaking and yet calmly pushing away from his desk, Donatello stood on weak legs and ran his mind through every option possible. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I'm coming to get you." Donnie finally stated and jerked open his desk drawer to tug out his duffle bag and begin filling it with anything he might need.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"What? No! You stay the hell out of this Don! I'll figure a way out!"
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Shut up!" Donatello shouted and Raph was instantly silent on the other line. "Just... hold on. I'll be there." And with that he threw his headset away from his body and ran to the other side of his lab to stuff some weapons, several types of homemade bombs and various other necessities into his bag. He shouldered the bag and grabbed his bo staff and exited his room in a rush of wind and grim silence."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Leo? Mikey!" Don shouted, turning off the TV to Mikey's video game and instantly receiving a 'hey!' from his brother."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie! I was playing that!" Mikey whined, reaching to grab the remote back from his brother. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie?" Leo asked, returning from his bedroom. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Come on! I was winning! It was going to be my all time record!" Mike lunged for Don's hand, but Donatello jerked his hand away and threw the remote control directly at the television, shattering one of them and causing several sparks to leap from it."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Leo was instantly ready, rushing to Donnie's side, and Michelangelo was startled, almost frightened from his brother's uncharacteristic action. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Raph's in trouble. We need to go help him. Come on." Donnie explained in a soft voice and he turned, leading the way out of the lair and up to the garage. His brothers exchanged glances with each other but they didn't argue with their brother and were quick to follow him. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello drove. He knew where he was going and a plan was already forming in his head. The drive there was excruciatingly quiet though he knew Leo had questions and Mikey was fidgeting to keep himself from babbling wildly in his fear.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"I'll explain when we get home." Don suddenly said, causing Mikey to jump and Leo to stare at him hard. "We're here. Be careful, it's the Purple Dragons headquarters. Hun's inside, as is enough firearms to stock a US military division.""Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Turning a corner, Donatello saw the warehouse up ahead and slowed the van to a stop. Standing and stepping out of the driver's seat, he pointed to Leo to take a seat. "Help me out. I want you to drive right into that building. Be my distraction, please? I'll sneak around the back, hopefully I can get Raph in and out quickly." "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Don... I don't know about this." Leonardo protested but shut his mouth the moment Donatello turned angry eyes on him. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#FF5200">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"We've already waited long enough. He might die any minute now. Work with me for once, Leo." He growled and shouldered his duffle bag then proceeded to climb up to the roof access of the van. "Now gun it! Drive right into that building and distract them for as long as possible. I'll call on your cell when Raph's safe." and with that, Don slammed the hatch closed behind him.
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Leo didn't move, and Mikey took the driver's seat, his hands shaking but his mouth thinned into a determined line. Gripping the steering wheel as tight as possible, Michelangelo's foot slammed onto the gas and the van moved, roaring to life and picking up speed fast and wildly. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello gripped the hatch's handle to keep himself steady as the van swerved several times on its way towards the front doors of the warehouse. At the last minute just as the front end of the van was about to burst through, Donatello leapt from the top and just managed to clear the edge of the roof before he went into a head long roll over the tar and papered roof. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Hissing and holding his elbow tight to his side, Donatello ignored the scraped skin and pain in favor of standing and looking for what he needed. Gunfire and explosions down below told him his brothers were achieving their goal. Digging through his bag, Donatello pulled free several time bombs and he set two at a corner of the warehouse. Hunkering down and waiting the whole minute, the explosion shook everything out at that southern corner. The men down below shouted and fell to the floor, rubble fell from the ceiling and dust blanketed everything.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Rolling several balls across the floor, they fell through the hole and down to the warehouse below. Upon hitting the floor they erupted into billowing clouds of smoke and quickly began to fill the area. Hurrying to the side of the hole, Donatello secured the grappling hook to the wall and then threw the rope down into the warehouse. "Raph!" He shouted. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Donatello could see the van down below take another circuit around the warehouse and destroying yet another palette of weapons as Mikey continued to try and scatter the Purple Dragons. "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Donnie?" Raphael called, the lights on his helmet shining up from the smoke as he made his way towards him."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#0052A3">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Grab hold!" Don ordered and then pulled a small machine from his back and hooked the rope to it. "You have the rope?" He asked, and threw a few more smoke balls down into the building. mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Got it!" "Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">And just like that, Donatello hit the button on the machine and it reeled Raphael up and out of the warehouse."Times New Roman"">
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Once Raphael was secure on the roof, Donatello tossed another bomb in through the hole and then grabbed Raphael's arm, tugging him after him while pulling out his shell cell at the same time. "Got him. Let's go."
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">"Who..?" Raph started but was pushed towards the edge of the building and just as the bumper of the van appeared, Don shoved Raphael with him over the edge and onto the roof of the van. It swerved but it straightened and barreled down the street and took the corner at a squealing tire turn.
"Times New Roman";color:#D73306">
"Times New Roman";color:black">Holding tight to the hatch to keep from falling off, the two turtles clung to the van till Mikey finally stopped the van - which wasn't till they arrived back home and were safe behind closed doors. "Times New Roman"">
color:black">
color:black">Grumbling and climbing down from the van as he tore his helmet off, Raphael snarled at Michelangelo and pointed at him, "Who the hell taught you how to drive?" He demanded, completely missing the awed look his brother was giving him as he looked him up at down in the Nightwatcher suit.
Donatello stormed off of the van and threw his bag down, completely ignoring the possibility of explosives going off within his sack. Before Michelangelo could answer Raph's question Donnie's hand seized Raph's shoulder and threw him back against the van.
"Fuck, Donnie!" Raph snarled only to get his brother right in his face.
"What the hell were you thinking?" He screamed, shoving Raphael back against the van once again. "You almost got yourself killed! I told you to stand down and you should have listened!"
Scowling, Raphael opened his mouth to argue back but he never got the chance.
"No!" Don roared, jabbing his finger into his chest and keeping him in place. "You agreed that it would be me calling the shots just as I agreed to you doing the footwork. You agreed that you needed someone on the outside to keep you in line and you swore you would keep to that contract between us. But you didn’t Raph! You didn’t listen to me and look what happened when you ignored me! You screwed up Raph!"
"That's enough." Leonardo's hard voice cracked between them. He took Donnie by the arm, trying to pull him away from Raphael who he could see the pressure rising as his anger cooked and boiled under his skin. Normally he was the one yelling and scolding Raphael for his mistakes; and Donnie had every right to be yelling at Raph for his rebelliousness that nearly cost him his life; but this was unnerving. Donatello was not supposed to be the one acting like him - and just like that Leonardo knew what was going on and he looked at Donnie hard with a knowing look as to why he was screaming at Raph.
Jerking away much more violently than needed from Leo as though he had been burnt and his eyes far more wild than they had ever been as he yelled at Raph, Donatello pointed a finger at the eldest and glared daggers upon the leader of their troop. "Shut up Leo. You are of no use to me." He hissed. And for the first time since they arrived home did pure silence fall upon the brothers.
Leonardo stiffened and his jaw tightened as he flexed his fingers at his side, but he didn't move, and he didn't talk. Something silently passed between Donatello and him that was palpable and thick as mud.
Looking back to Raphael, Donatello swelled, his anger far from dissuaded and his own fears edging the corners of his words. "You fuckin' thick-headed brute. I told you to wait, why the hell did you ignore me? Huh?"
"I thought I'd be fine. There wasn't supposed ta be the whole damn gang in there. I thought it was goin' ta be a bunch of punk kids and some pocket knives." he defended, glaring at him and momentarily pushing from his mind the silent fight he had just witnessed between Leo and Don - but he wasn’t going to forget about it.
"But you didn't listen! Do you think I'm in your head on these missions just to suggest things to you? No! I'm there to keep your ass from being handed to you. You would have died if I hadn't brought them along; and now look at this mess you got us in!"
"Me?" Raphael shouted, his jaw dropping at the accusation. "Me? You were the one who ran to Leo! You were the one who dragged them into all of this! I wanted to keep them out of it." He pointed at Leo and Mikey, visualizing to Donnie that he was the reason their brothers had found out about their secret in the first place.
"I brought them along because I didn't want you to die." Don snapped, slapping Raphael's hand away from his face and shoving it back down at his side.
Raph's hands darted out and he grabbed Donatello by his forearms, gripping at him tightly and stepping towards him in a whirlwind of dominance and desperation. "Then admit you love me!" He shook him, holding tight to him.
Donatello's eyes widened and his head jerked but he stopped himself from looking directly at Leo and Mikey to see their reactions to Raphael's demand. Several pounding heartbeats spanned between them and Donnie struggled out of his grasp, his breath coming fast and sketchy. "Don't you dare change the subject - You ignored my order!”
Scowling with a mixture of disgust and hurt, Raph threw his hands in the air, "Whatever. I ain't dealing with this right now." He scooped up his helmet and pushed past him, making his way for the garage door.
"Raph..." Michelangelo whispered, shifting in place and then following after his brother, grasping at his arm hesitantly.
Looking down, Donatello shook, he wouldn't allow the fear to rise, the anger was so much easier to hold onto right now. Raphael had been so close to death tonight, more so than ever. Mafia, gangs, police chases, murderers - he had faced it all but tonight because of him ignoring his orders, he had almost disappeared forever. He couldn't allow his true emotions to surface. "You irresponsible, selfish, troglodyte fuckwit!" Donatello screamed, his shoulders hunched, his face twisted, and his eyes squeezed shut. And all was lost the moment his voice died. He couldn't lose him.
"I screwed up!" Raphael shouted, spinning on his heel. "I messed up! Happy? But at least I ain't scared to do what I think needs to be done - or said." He scowled and turned, leaving the garage and abandoning Donnie to Leo as Mikey trailed after him.
Leonardo didn't know what to say, he was at a loss for words for once. Raising his eyes, he stared at Donatello - who quickly turned his face further away.
Donnie had never once looked to Leo during this time. And it had to stay that way, for his sanity. He couldn't allow the slightest hint of skin or shadow from Leonardo to be seen by his eyes. "Just leave me alone Leo." Even he could admit he sounded cold.
Looking down and shaking his head, Leonardo wiped a hand across his face and shook his head, "Just because-"
"Fuck off Leo!" Don screamed. His voice echoed in the cement garage, bouncing off the walls and reverberating off the tin roof.
Leo turned his back on him and left, striding towards the exit, his hands knotted and turning white at his side. "Don't ruin this for yourself." he shot back before he disappeared, slamming the door behind him.
It was a long time before Donnie finally moved. He found himself sitting on the bumper of the van, staring at his hands and realizing he was shaking. He couldn't voice it, he couldn't think about it, but he felt it wiggling within his belly and scouring through his heart. He knew on an emotional level he was right, but he couldn’t say it no matter how much he wanted too. He couldn't allow those emotions to become sentient - or he would break. He couldn't break again after having finally taped himself back together.
Donnie's face twisted and he shook his head, growling at himself and banishing the tears before they could form.
He just couldn't say it yet; he couldn't say it to Raph. It still hurt too much.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Continue to Part 2 of Chapter 2 ----> g33kg1rl.livejournal.com/23078.html#cutid1