There's been a change in me....
So...I shoud be studying for finals...but i am not. Ok, so...I am gonna drop the whole cocky, my shit don't stinl attitude for right now. This is gonna be tough. Ummmm ok....so for any of you that knew me my sophomore year I was...ummm well besides boring...nice, sweet, kind hearted, virginal ( well definately still a virgin ofcourse) ummm but i never said anything bad about anyone, i was modest, i was quiet. I was ...content. Ok, so then summer after my freshman year I met Alex...and well somehow ia m not so quiet anymore which i completely blame/ thank him for. But i also feel like i got this bad attitude ( ps not from alex that i developed all on my own) and now, yeah i make people laugh and i am more fun to be around, but i find myself hurting people... and i don't want that.
One of my best friends called me on some things...mainly, i can say more than should be said and don't go to the source...am not the most loyal friend and i deny who i truly am,. My initial reaction ofcourse was...who is this kid? I have it all figured out? I mean I am ashley fuckin' eskew...i do it all. And then i realized. I have fucked up. So here it is:
1) I talk too much- whether it be shit or being too loud or secrets or hurtful things so people created a good opinion of me I do it
2) I am fake. if i have aproblem with someone i am sweet to them to their face and then say someything to please someone else.
3) i won't belittle my friends even more becasue they don't deserve that
4) I am not very open minded
5) I have always denied i am a drama kid...too cool i guess...well here it is
I AM THE BIGGEST FUCKING DRAMA KID EVER!
i am loud. sing in the car. etc
i love my drma friends more than anyone!
Alex
David
Darius
Erik
etc I love u all and i am glad youa re you and proud of the people u are. U all are amazing addditions to my life and whether u be loud or cocky or flamboyant or darius I LOVE U
mostly though i juist want to apologize to everyone i have asked for friendship, i don't deserve it.
i am more insecure then any of u r4ealize. I need to kid myself sometimes and I know it is a joke. So all i need to do is change. I know i am not the most talented so i adopt this ahhh im good attituude. I know i am not...well whatever.
SO basically I ma normal.
So this summer= detox
I am gone, i am gonna work and i not being naive, i am just saying i will try and work on...well me. I am meeting new people who don't know me. And hopefully i can mend some relationships with people i do know.
i have so much mroe to say.
but i can't type it. ua ll know what i eman thoguh
so this summer...
The weight
The attitude
Blaming stuff on gail
it's gone ( hopefully)
8th and 9th grade ashley needs to make a comeback...( well with some modificcations)
Wish me luck...i'll need it
Ps.this post is for someone who won't read it, but know i love you, and know ua re amazing, and know i am sorry.damn am i sorry. i luv ya. u know it. i honestly luv ya
One of my best friends called me on some things...mainly, i can say more than should be said and don't go to the source...am not the most loyal friend and i deny who i truly am,. My initial reaction ofcourse was...who is this kid? I have it all figured out? I mean I am ashley fuckin' eskew...i do it all. And then i realized. I have fucked up. So here it is:
1) I talk too much- whether it be shit or being too loud or secrets or hurtful things so people created a good opinion of me I do it
2) I am fake. if i have aproblem with someone i am sweet to them to their face and then say someything to please someone else.
3) i won't belittle my friends even more becasue they don't deserve that
4) I am not very open minded
5) I have always denied i am a drama kid...too cool i guess...well here it is
I AM THE BIGGEST FUCKING DRAMA KID EVER!
i am loud. sing in the car. etc
i love my drma friends more than anyone!
Alex
David
Darius
Erik
etc I love u all and i am glad youa re you and proud of the people u are. U all are amazing addditions to my life and whether u be loud or cocky or flamboyant or darius I LOVE U
mostly though i juist want to apologize to everyone i have asked for friendship, i don't deserve it.
i am more insecure then any of u r4ealize. I need to kid myself sometimes and I know it is a joke. So all i need to do is change. I know i am not the most talented so i adopt this ahhh im good attituude. I know i am not...well whatever.
SO basically I ma normal.
So this summer= detox
I am gone, i am gonna work and i not being naive, i am just saying i will try and work on...well me. I am meeting new people who don't know me. And hopefully i can mend some relationships with people i do know.
i have so much mroe to say.
but i can't type it. ua ll know what i eman thoguh
so this summer...
The weight
The attitude
Blaming stuff on gail
it's gone ( hopefully)
8th and 9th grade ashley needs to make a comeback...( well with some modificcations)
Wish me luck...i'll need it
Ps.this post is for someone who won't read it, but know i love you, and know ua re amazing, and know i am sorry.damn am i sorry. i luv ya. u know it. i honestly luv ya