(no subject)
i feel a bit odd. shaky, and repressing everything. i had a good night out at devil's night, being led around as a pet zombie was greatly amusing, lots of fun, yet by the time i've made it home my mood has plummeted, i'm really trying not to shake, i don't understand it, i feel so very lucid and in control, apart from the shaking, it isn't cold, why is this? repression maybe, i want to scream my stupidity, smiling unsuredly all night, i'm just out of place, too many people, and not enough of ones that matter, this is ridiculous, am i really moaning about not getting enough attention? a little, i fade to nothing, so easy just to become a ghost again, i try to engage, but i worry my efforts are in vain, i don't think people really see me, i'm not worth noticing SHUT UP! nobody wants to listen to your whining, just crawl into your hole and rot, do us all a favour. i should sleep, that will help, blow away the shame on the breeze of dreams, of the nightmares of shadows and terror, they will chase it away, as they rampage through my mind....