time for changes...
i feel somewhat numb. sat at ian's because i don't feel quite right in my house. people have said i'm not in the wrong, but i can't quite believe them, i can't help but feel guilty, but then i always feel guilty, i'm a little tired of it all. i feel like i've let her down, though i tried my best. i'm tired of playing carer to people, i don't want to do it anymore. i want someone to look after me for a change. oh well, not gonna happen. i just have to put up with it all. appointment at the bennett centre tomorrow, so maybe help. i need to stay calm, i've failed university, i need to get a job and sort my life out. i can do this, i WILL be a musician, and perhaps now i can focus on this, without all the distractions of my so called education and dependant significant others. i will sort myself out. or hang myself, but it won't come to that.