sigh
awake again, at silly time in the dark, and not just not asleep but actually awake. i wish i could sleep properly.
i wish i could help her like she deserves. sigh. i'm sick of the sight of me, and she must be too, that's why she's leaving. well I KNOW it's not. but i wish they would stop suggesting these things to me. the shower is going to kill me, it's going to tear me to shreds, i've seen it, with that leering scream- "i'm going to get you fucking wet! I'M GOING TO GET YOU FUCKING WET!" scary shit. but then everyone is out to get me when i close my eyes. as opposed to when they're open and, everyone's out to get me?
i need to pee. again. i need to pee a lot lately. am i drinking more? i forget.
i wish i could help her like she deserves. sigh. i'm sick of the sight of me, and she must be too, that's why she's leaving. well I KNOW it's not. but i wish they would stop suggesting these things to me. the shower is going to kill me, it's going to tear me to shreds, i've seen it, with that leering scream- "i'm going to get you fucking wet! I'M GOING TO GET YOU FUCKING WET!" scary shit. but then everyone is out to get me when i close my eyes. as opposed to when they're open and, everyone's out to get me?
i need to pee. again. i need to pee a lot lately. am i drinking more? i forget.