Creative Writing - journal 5
Prompt: The phone rings and rings and rings in the middle of the night. It keeps ringing after the machine picks up. Finally you answer it-groggy, irritated, and befuddled. It’s the call we all dread and yet know will come more than once in our lives …
The narrator’s (closest friend, lover, parent, brother, sister, you decide who to kill…) was in an accident, is at the hospital, and will not last until morning. He or she dresses furiously, jumps in his or her car, get to the hospital, cursing at the slowness of traffic, and the stupidity of parking attendants, and arrive at the person’s bedside. What happens next? Describe the scene, be detailed.
The person has to die and the narrator has to be a witness. There can be no miracles. First or third person.
Mine:
The End
The nurse led me to the room, looking at me in pity as she gestured towards it. I got the sudden urge to punch her. I didn’t need her pity. After rushing to get there as fast as possible, my feet felt like they were stuck in blocks of cement as I entered the room. Every extra second let me put off whatever would happen next. Finally I reached the bed where she lay. My breath caught in my throat as my gaze fell on the tubes and machines that surrounded her. She looked so small and helpless, nothing like the girl I knew. I bent my legs slightly to sit down, and fell into the chair nearby. The squeak of the cushion caught her attention, and her eyes fluttered briefly before she opened them.
“Hey,” I said softly.
“Bubba?” Her voice rasped as she called me by the childhood nickname.
“I'm here,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand. My eyes burned as I tried to keep my emotions from spilling out. I had to be strong right now, for her sake.
She gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Sorry I broke my promise.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” I said automatically. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m scared,” she whispered, her grip tightening briefly.
Her words tore at my chest. I put my other hand over hers, saying what I had to. “Don’t be. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
“Promise me you’ll stay,” she pleaded.
“Of course I’ll stay,” I answered, my voice cracking. “And don’t you go anywhere either.”
“I’ll try.”
I could feel the tears threatening to overflow, but I ignored them. “You’ve gotta do more than try, Paigey. You have to promise me. Promise me. You’re all I’ve got now; I need you. You can’t let a little thing like a bullet get to you, okay?”
She took a shuddering breath. “I think it was more than one.”
“Paigey, please. You’ve got to promise me, please.” I stroked my thumb over the top of her hand. Several tears escaped, arcing over my cheeks and gathering at my chin, but nothing could have enticed me to pull my hands away long enough to wipe at them.
The heart monitor beeped steadily, but slower than before. Paige looked at me with wet eyes. “You’re crying.”
“No I’m not.”
She reached her other hand out and wiped a finger along my chin. I closed my eyes briefly. When I re-opened them, her lips were quirked in what could have been a smile, and she held a finger up in front of me, the tip glistening. “See?” she said. Her arm fell back down, but she continued to look at me. I wanted to look away. Whatever she was trying to say with her eyes was making my chest and stomach feel as though they had been coated in lead. She squeezed my hand again. “I love you, Bubba.”
I choked on the wetness in my throat, barely suppressing a sob. “I love you too, Paigey. Always will.”
Paige lifted the hand that was clasped in both of mine, bringing all three up to her head. The movement was weak, and it seemed to take her more effort than before. Silently, she rubbed the back of my hand against the side of her face.
I bit my lip, trying to focus all the pain I was feeling on that one spot. My lip throbbed as my teeth cut through the tender skin. It didn’t help.
Her breathing grew shallower. “So…much…wanted to…to…do…”
I sucked air in through my teeth. “You still can. What do you want to do? Anything you want. Just tell me.”
The grip on my hand loosened slightly, so I held on tighter.
“Wanted…want--” she stopped to cough feebly.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You don’t have to speak. Just breathe. You’re okay.”
She tried to take a deeper breath. “…Least…got to say…say goodbye…”
The heart monitor beeped sluggishly.
“Don’t do this, Paigey. Don’t. It’s not goodbye. Stay with me. You’re gonna be all right. Come on.” The tears were streaming down my face now. Damn them; everything was going to be fine.
Paige looked at me steadily. “Love you.”
“I know,” I said, unable to control the quaver in my voice. I squeezed her now limp hand. “I know.”
Her eyes seemed to stare right into me, and then her face relaxed. The beeping from the heart monitor became a steady drone.
“Paige?” She didn’t answer. “Paige?” I heard someone shout “Code Blue!” in the background, and within seconds nurses were running into the room. Someone steered me to the side as people rushed forward, surrounding Paige. I tried to keep eye contact, but someone’s back was blocking my view. I stepped forward, but a nurse grabbed me and forced me out of the room. I tried to fight. I had to see Paige; I couldn’t leave her.
“Sir? Sir, you’re going to have to wait out here. I’m sorry.” The nurse propelled me towards the window and then went back in the room and shut the door.
I watched through the half-shut blinds as one of the nurses rubbed two metal things together in her hands and then pressed them to Paige’s chest. She convulsed and I clenched my fists against the window. “Come on,” I muttered. “Come on, come on…” After several tries, they stepped away, and one of the nurses looked up at the clock. Why did they stop? They couldn’t! For a moment, I didn’t understand. And then I did.
----
The narrator’s (closest friend, lover, parent, brother, sister, you decide who to kill…) was in an accident, is at the hospital, and will not last until morning. He or she dresses furiously, jumps in his or her car, get to the hospital, cursing at the slowness of traffic, and the stupidity of parking attendants, and arrive at the person’s bedside. What happens next? Describe the scene, be detailed.
The person has to die and the narrator has to be a witness. There can be no miracles. First or third person.
Mine:
The End
The nurse led me to the room, looking at me in pity as she gestured towards it. I got the sudden urge to punch her. I didn’t need her pity. After rushing to get there as fast as possible, my feet felt like they were stuck in blocks of cement as I entered the room. Every extra second let me put off whatever would happen next. Finally I reached the bed where she lay. My breath caught in my throat as my gaze fell on the tubes and machines that surrounded her. She looked so small and helpless, nothing like the girl I knew. I bent my legs slightly to sit down, and fell into the chair nearby. The squeak of the cushion caught her attention, and her eyes fluttered briefly before she opened them.
“Hey,” I said softly.
“Bubba?” Her voice rasped as she called me by the childhood nickname.
“I'm here,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand. My eyes burned as I tried to keep my emotions from spilling out. I had to be strong right now, for her sake.
She gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Sorry I broke my promise.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” I said automatically. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m scared,” she whispered, her grip tightening briefly.
Her words tore at my chest. I put my other hand over hers, saying what I had to. “Don’t be. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
“Promise me you’ll stay,” she pleaded.
“Of course I’ll stay,” I answered, my voice cracking. “And don’t you go anywhere either.”
“I’ll try.”
I could feel the tears threatening to overflow, but I ignored them. “You’ve gotta do more than try, Paigey. You have to promise me. Promise me. You’re all I’ve got now; I need you. You can’t let a little thing like a bullet get to you, okay?”
She took a shuddering breath. “I think it was more than one.”
“Paigey, please. You’ve got to promise me, please.” I stroked my thumb over the top of her hand. Several tears escaped, arcing over my cheeks and gathering at my chin, but nothing could have enticed me to pull my hands away long enough to wipe at them.
The heart monitor beeped steadily, but slower than before. Paige looked at me with wet eyes. “You’re crying.”
“No I’m not.”
She reached her other hand out and wiped a finger along my chin. I closed my eyes briefly. When I re-opened them, her lips were quirked in what could have been a smile, and she held a finger up in front of me, the tip glistening. “See?” she said. Her arm fell back down, but she continued to look at me. I wanted to look away. Whatever she was trying to say with her eyes was making my chest and stomach feel as though they had been coated in lead. She squeezed my hand again. “I love you, Bubba.”
I choked on the wetness in my throat, barely suppressing a sob. “I love you too, Paigey. Always will.”
Paige lifted the hand that was clasped in both of mine, bringing all three up to her head. The movement was weak, and it seemed to take her more effort than before. Silently, she rubbed the back of my hand against the side of her face.
I bit my lip, trying to focus all the pain I was feeling on that one spot. My lip throbbed as my teeth cut through the tender skin. It didn’t help.
Her breathing grew shallower. “So…much…wanted to…to…do…”
I sucked air in through my teeth. “You still can. What do you want to do? Anything you want. Just tell me.”
The grip on my hand loosened slightly, so I held on tighter.
“Wanted…want--” she stopped to cough feebly.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You don’t have to speak. Just breathe. You’re okay.”
She tried to take a deeper breath. “…Least…got to say…say goodbye…”
The heart monitor beeped sluggishly.
“Don’t do this, Paigey. Don’t. It’s not goodbye. Stay with me. You’re gonna be all right. Come on.” The tears were streaming down my face now. Damn them; everything was going to be fine.
Paige looked at me steadily. “Love you.”
“I know,” I said, unable to control the quaver in my voice. I squeezed her now limp hand. “I know.”
Her eyes seemed to stare right into me, and then her face relaxed. The beeping from the heart monitor became a steady drone.
“Paige?” She didn’t answer. “Paige?” I heard someone shout “Code Blue!” in the background, and within seconds nurses were running into the room. Someone steered me to the side as people rushed forward, surrounding Paige. I tried to keep eye contact, but someone’s back was blocking my view. I stepped forward, but a nurse grabbed me and forced me out of the room. I tried to fight. I had to see Paige; I couldn’t leave her.
“Sir? Sir, you’re going to have to wait out here. I’m sorry.” The nurse propelled me towards the window and then went back in the room and shut the door.
I watched through the half-shut blinds as one of the nurses rubbed two metal things together in her hands and then pressed them to Paige’s chest. She convulsed and I clenched my fists against the window. “Come on,” I muttered. “Come on, come on…” After several tries, they stepped away, and one of the nurses looked up at the clock. Why did they stop? They couldn’t! For a moment, I didn’t understand. And then I did.
----