date
well, i went out with william last night. it wasn't the grand impressive thing i thought it would be. i think it's because, somehow, somwhere in the back of my mind i knew it wouldn't work out like i wanted it to. which isn't to say i didn't have a good time; i actually had fun until i got drunk and fell on the ground. but he seemeed kind of blase about it. until the end, that is, when we kept looking at each other as if we would have jumped on each other if there hadn't been other people about. i just have a kind of, "meh," sort of feeling about it all. and that's not to say that i wouldn't like to go out with him again. we didn't really get to talk much because we went to a movie, and you know, that kind of impedes conversation. after that, we went to his house, which he shares with two other men. we smoked a joint, then, after his roommate came out and a little bit of bargaining, opened a bottle of wine, smoked two more bowls and by then, various neighbors and such started dropping by. by about 1.30 after three medium glasses of wine or so, i found that i couldn't exactly hold my head up and everything felt numb. around two, collapsed to the ground, yet didn't pass out. 2.30 i was on my way home.
i found out that he's twenty three. perhaps that's what put a damper on the situation.
i don't know ... i'm feeling badly for making such a fool of myself; i mean collapsing to the ground in a drunken, stoned haze isn't exactly the kind of image i like projecting about myself.
i'd like to talk to him today, but that seems a bit too needy ... tuesday it is.