almost time to return to //reality//
friday:
came home, went to red lobster for daddy's birthday, fell asleep on the couch.
saturday:
jv cheer competition (played their music cuz i'm that cool!), went to starbucks, movie watching with helena, bonfire with the family and helena at kim and ally's house, had a few beers (with parental permission! haha), sleep over with helena and "babysitting" ally
sunday (today):
woke up, went to five guys, shopping at the mall, got new tennis shoes (the 1st time in about 4 years) another pair of shoes, 2 pairs of jeans, and 2 shirts, went to see zorro with TRACY - yay!, did homework, talked online, now i'm hanging out
i think i'm at a very strange point in life.
on one hand, i am a college student. out of high school. young. so much to experience. independent. making my own decisions and budgeting my own time and deciding what i want to do with my life, completely on my own. everything is new and, to be honest, kind of scary.
on the other hand, i am a college student. no longer a child. not a little girl. don't have to put up with little kid things. immaturities. i can expect maturity. confidence. reliability from people. girls act like women. boys act like men.
i feel out of place in that sense because i feel like these beliefs drive me to be a part of an older crowd who seems not quite ready to accept me yet? i want to be a part of that older crowd because, as much as i know i'm still growing and changing and maturing, i'm ready to be a part of that group. there are so many benefits with being associated with that group. you can hang out with people way older and no one thinks any different of you. you can come and go as you please without being frowned upon. you can do, mas o menos, whatever you please without being questioned (unless you're doing stupid shit, which i don't do anyways!) i want the societal acceptance that comes with being older. i want to be allowed to do what everybody else does already.
don't know the purpose of any of this. just kind of a stream of consciousness. take it for what you will.