charbroiled
it's a little bit like one of those nights where i want to drink 1/2 a bottle of nyquil and watch sex and the city reruns until my arms sink into the bed and i develop bed burns like the obese people on tv, who eat themselves sick day after day. like the kind of people who eat 7 grilled cheese sandwiches for a midnight snack. i want to be that today so i can lay beached on my bed like a whale... and not feel guilty about it.
right now i'm perched at this desk, and i think it's made of maple, in a factory outside of fargo, north dakota.. and i think i saw the truck that delivered them, when i took that roadtrip in august, and we spent 3 days on i-70. anyway i'm perched at this desk, drinking orange juice from a martini glass... i wish there was vodka for it, maybe to justify its loftiness or maybe because i would love my head to spin a little... that always makes these nights easier. faster.
it's so hot and only half of me is sweating. i keep getting up and splashing cold water on my face and talking to myself in the mirror. i wish i was a smoker, or at least i wish i could smoke without paralyzing my lungs... if i were a smoker i could sit outside without the computer or a phone and i could stare at the sky and smoke my cigarette. i feel awkward outside without cigarettes, like everyone is wondering why i'm standing there, and why i'm not dressed and why my hair isn't curled and i'm not wearing heels and i'm not at the dorms drinking spiced rum from red plastic cups. and i would tell them that i just want to look at the sky for a little while.. but no one would even bother asking and that was a waste of words.
the grease on my chin is shining and the geese sit outside my window coo-ing. i wish someone would call, even though i cannot answer till midnight. and i wish that my computer didn't overeat and burn my thighs when i sit cross legged on the concrete. and i wish the world didn't spin so fast when i want it to slow down.. and i wish it didn't stutter when i need it to fly. and i wish i didn't have such patchwork wings sometimes and i knew how to tell someone they wronged me.
i feel cobwebs on my feet and while my roommate is out with her church buddies eating chinese food.. maybe i'll take a vacuum to these dirty carpets.
right now i'm perched at this desk, and i think it's made of maple, in a factory outside of fargo, north dakota.. and i think i saw the truck that delivered them, when i took that roadtrip in august, and we spent 3 days on i-70. anyway i'm perched at this desk, drinking orange juice from a martini glass... i wish there was vodka for it, maybe to justify its loftiness or maybe because i would love my head to spin a little... that always makes these nights easier. faster.
it's so hot and only half of me is sweating. i keep getting up and splashing cold water on my face and talking to myself in the mirror. i wish i was a smoker, or at least i wish i could smoke without paralyzing my lungs... if i were a smoker i could sit outside without the computer or a phone and i could stare at the sky and smoke my cigarette. i feel awkward outside without cigarettes, like everyone is wondering why i'm standing there, and why i'm not dressed and why my hair isn't curled and i'm not wearing heels and i'm not at the dorms drinking spiced rum from red plastic cups. and i would tell them that i just want to look at the sky for a little while.. but no one would even bother asking and that was a waste of words.
the grease on my chin is shining and the geese sit outside my window coo-ing. i wish someone would call, even though i cannot answer till midnight. and i wish that my computer didn't overeat and burn my thighs when i sit cross legged on the concrete. and i wish the world didn't spin so fast when i want it to slow down.. and i wish it didn't stutter when i need it to fly. and i wish i didn't have such patchwork wings sometimes and i knew how to tell someone they wronged me.
i feel cobwebs on my feet and while my roommate is out with her church buddies eating chinese food.. maybe i'll take a vacuum to these dirty carpets.